Bittersweet Candy Bowl

21. Enter High School, original chapter posted 9/10/06

Page 5 of 6

Transcript

*Stacy, Daisy and Mike sit at their desks as they listen to their teacher. Stacy and Daisy are smiling. Mike looks worried.*
Honors English teacher: So I assume you’ve all read your assigned novels over the break? Everybody?

*The Honors English teacher looks down at her paper.*
Honors English teacher: Perfect! Because your first essay on intertextual relationships is due tomorrow.

Honors English teacher: Now for those of you wondering how to format your footnotes..
*Mike freezes, highly distressed.*
Mike: c-crap..

[Caption: Meanwhile]
*The CP English teacher addresses her students with a cocky grin and a hand on her hip.*
CP English teacher: Hi, I’m your spunky, surprisingly young, and unusually lenient English teacher!

*Paulo starts crying tears of joy as he grips his head in his hands. Lucy sits blankly at her desk, eyes shut.*
Paulo: I.. I.. just LOVE this high school.

[Caption: And also meanwhile]
*The English I teacher points and giggles at David.*
English I teacher: HAHAHA WELCOME TO ENGLISH FOR DUMBASSES
*David pouts.*
David: Hey..

*David glances over at Katie, seated beside him. She’s applying makeup.*
Katie: Like, there’s this word on the tip of mah tongue for how he’s making me feel right now..

*David narrows his eyes.*
David: “Mad”?
*Katie grins.*
Katie: Like, oh mah gawd, yesss!

*Katie pinches David’s ear.*
Katie: Hey, you’re like, soooo smart! ♥
*David looks directly at her chest.*
David: I can see your cleavage

[Caption: Later]
*Mike looks sad as he walks through the hallway away from Lucy, who’s going in the other direction.*
Mike (thinking): Guess we’re not together in math either, since Lucy’s in a more advanced class..

*Mike sits at his desk.*
Mike: Man, this feels really weird without her..
*David, sitting next to him, smiles.*
David: You still got me!

*David stands and raises his hand in the air, grinning.*
David: We can be David and Mike, math assassins!
*Mike looks perplexed as he stares at a gun that’s appeared in his hand.*
Mike: Why do I have a gun?

*The Math teacher scowls at them.*
Math teacher: HEY! Quit posing and sit down! I mean, really, this isn’t middle school..
David: Ahh.. Sorry, teach.

*The Math teacher’s expression turns severe.*
Math teacher: Although it seems like your brains are still stuck in elementary, if you ended up HERE. Now listen up, because, so help me god, I WILL BE getting every one of you into calculus.

*The Math teacher stares down his students.*
Students: …

[Caption: Meanwhile]
*Daisy, sitting at her desk, nervously looks around the classroom.*
Daisy: There’s nobody I know in this math class.. how did that happen?

*Tess glances over at Daisy from her seat next to her.*
Tess: That’s because they skipped you up to a Junior math class, brainiac.
*Daisy looks stunned.*
Daisy: Wow..

*Daisy grins and raises her hands triumphantly.*
Daisy: I’m so smart! ♥
*Tess rolls her eyes.*
Tess: And kinda annoying.

Author commentary

Veronica: The Honours English teacher is actually meant to be a parody of the Honours English teacher I had for Senior year. She was an absolute sweetheart and a really amusing person as well, though she intimidated me. I always freaked out at her surprise essays and she used to take the scared reactions of the students in such an amusing way.. like “Ohh, be prepared! Use your brains!” etc etc.. she spoke like that except with a better vocabulary.

Sorry for making a joke of you, teacher.. essays were never really my thing..

The CP English teacher is also a parody of the teacher I had in junior year. She was just really young, really bubbly, really pretty. I adored her.. she actually got married in my senior year and people said she became a bit meaner afterwards.. which is unfortunate, but I’ll always love her.

She actually suggested me as Student of the Month in October and they ACCEPTED IT. Thank you, lovely teacher! I don’t believe the people who thought you were mean!!!

Daisy in this page will always remind me of this sophomore that was in pre-calculus in my senior year. I felt like such an idiot around her since she was the best at it and SO SO YOUNG. Goodness.

Reader comments

Comment ID #128105

I’m in pre-calculus and i’m a sophmore… is that normal?

M November 17, 2010, 5:16 PM EST.

Comment ID #146889

Wow, every high school has that generic really hot really young lenient english teacher xD

Nanie February 11, 2011, 12:51 PM EST.

Comment ID #203478

The honors English teacher was my seventh grade honors Science teacher, except with projects.
“And I can see your cleavage.”
OH MY GOD DAVID. I LOVE YOU.