Bittersweet Candy Bowl

…..
(My body gets out a chainsaw and holds up a sign)

Sign: This just became a horror movie. I need a head, and I’m going to kill one of you for yours.

You are shitting me.

One thousand? Like, the whole one thousand? Wow…
Also chainsaw.

Not mine, fucker!

*his entire head curls up into his thoracic cavity through his mouth leaving only a tight hole at his neck; his laughing face reappears on the surface of his stomach*

……

(Gets out a pistol and just decides to shoot everyone in the forum)

*rips off own head and throws it to the other side of the earth* Mwahhhaaaahahahah! O, wait. You can’t hear me.

Remind me how I was chocking again when I’m F***ING DEAD!

dead can dance

(Attempts to headbutt Lark90, but lacks a head to do so)

….

@Lark: I didn’t dance when I was alive…

Modern Warfare: Black Ops has the single greatest commercial I have ever seen. The little kids and the office workers all shooting at each other while “Gimme Shelter” plays in the background. That is just fucking awesome.

Join with him. Become the shiny king!

My fav was at the end Vincy, with the fry cook

(A spaceship flies over and drops down a new head for me. I put it on and sigh)

Much better. So Call of Duty…..I pwn you all!

Hahahaha. Just kidding.

*opens NAME CENSORED’s will*

Hmmm, it says he left all of his world belongings to somebody named….TO BE CONTINUED!

They had that dude from The Man Show and, I think, Kobe Bryant in there toward the end. Also, it wouldn’t surprise me if that was the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld.

This is also the funniest episode of Ugly Americans ever.

@ Lawyer

If that’s my will, I’m punching someone’s face off.

@ shiny pebble

An American one.

I think it was an RPG. I don’t know, I’ve never really seen one outside a video game.

…Johnny Vincero. Who the heck is that?

King, did Nero just give you his head?

@ Scotch

Maybe. Who wants to know?

such destruction

UNF UNF UNF

J. Vincero, Rex. Hail to the Emperor! I have been judged your new owner in (nameless)’s untimely death.

….If you die, can I be the owner? My name is King after all.

How long until he regenerates? I wanna have a crack at him.

(Sets fire to the corpse)

Well even longer now…

The will only mentions the one. Johnny Vincero (hereafter known as Jerk) inheirts:
1 Gateway computer system
1 Playstation Three
1 Sega master System
2,983 jars labeled heavy sigh
2 pink lamps
1 High Definition Televison
1 2009 Toyota Camry
4 sealed envelopes labeled soul collection
$3,700 Cash
$1,200 in Magic the Gathering Cards
$6,000 in Silver Coins
12 unopened bottles of Leninade Soda
2 Microsoft Zune mp3 players
1 Cell phone

If * NAME CENSORED* should for any reason return to life than all shall be returned to * NAME CENSORED* without delay.
-sighned * NAME CENSORED*

Eric Cartman singing Jessie’s song was the most awesome thing ever.

Sweet! I love soda! :.D

God I’m bored…and very dead. Actually the soda is one of the few things I didn’t make up for that list…

Man, I’m out of soda. This sucks. Haha, you know, the Australian Stereotype soldier in Front Mission Evolved actually yelled “CRIKEY!” at one point. I fell over laughing.

@Jerk: Whatever you do do NOT open those thousands of heavy sigh jars.

Fuck that, I’m turning them into Grenades. :.D

“There is nothing I want or need. It is terrible.”

I just finished watching the new episode of Psych. Spoilers, as if anyone watches that show! Sean and Jules finally got together. But Despereaux was also in the episode and now I’m really disappointed. I no longer like SeanxJules. I say SeanxDespereaux OTP. I never thought I would hate Jules, but I do now.

@Scotch: How can you not like SeanxJules?
@Jerk: The jars could potentially revive me…but they will also bring mass intolerance to stupidity to the world! This intolerance could quickly lead to a World War as entire nations launch nukes in frustration to the actions of others!

I’ll see if I can’t revive you first and then I’ll see about releasing a genocidal chaos. I owe you that much for the soda.

Nuke them? :.D

I know SeanxJules is the resident pairing, but Despereaux is so FRIKin’ cool. And he and Sean are quite obviously in love. They even had a heart to heart about eachother’s respective searches for love. If Gus hadn’t been there and there hadn’t been a lady with a gun outside, they would definitely have made out.

*heavy sigh*, away with your outrageous theories

(nameless)’s holiday heavy sigh count: 18

Wait, do you have a spare jar or do you just have so much sigh overflow that you have to store it in jars to prevent the whole world from simultaneously saying “Jeez, were sorry.”?

The second one.

You just need to get some trolls and sigh at them when the mood strikes. They’re like sponges, I tell you.

People with that brain-eating stage of syphilis are like sponges, but for a very different reason. n_n

…I really don’t have a response for that.
@King: Don’t forget, you owe me $600 for the new head. Shit’s expensive.

Gratuitous, really. ^_^

you whore

Me? Oh, far from it. ^_^

Wolf, don’t make us kill you, ILB is a nice person

Holy shit! My friend is a fucking real life troll. He seems to feed off anger.

*Walks in and stares at the plethora of destruction from the previous night. Revives (nameless) for the second or third time, gives shiny pebble a funny look for making such an assumption then simply smiles and pats him on the head whilst welcoming him to the party. Starts to drive off to class while muttering something about sending clones to clean up the rest of the mess later.*

In anycase good morning everyone.

… and I didn’t even backread first to know that people were discussing trolls literally 10 comments above me.

Good morning everyo-

(I begin trying to shoot everyone with an uzi, but stop)

….I am SO sorry!

What are you apologizing for? You turned my Dairy product into Swiss cheese and it is just what I needed to complete my conquest of Wendys. Now they will have to pay me if they ever want to make a #8 combo.

*Rushes off to rake in the dough.*

It makes better cookies than if you had rolled it.