Bittersweet Candy Bowl

What the hell? I’m not that superficial. My perfect girl is long and lanky with a big weird lookin’ nose. Completely Serious.

wheni said YOU’D i ment most guys in general, mow both my ex’s on the other hand…

my old ex had what most guys calla perfect body,round ass and CC tits

My ex had a little more meat on her but i liked that better anyways. She also had DD tits, Too bad she’s 16,we coulda had some fun

If my previous girlfriend had a shred of the integrity, the guts or the loyalty Commie has I would’ve never got with Jessie and would never have started drinking at all. u.u I keep forgetting that your wife has the same name as my girlfriend.

I don’t know how to feel about that. Val had her sweet moments but she cheated on me. Jessie needs me but…I don’t know. I can’t say she wouldn’t cheat on me because I had no fucking clue that any of those other girls would. I was sweeter and less vicious than I am. Three years of abuse by Val scorched all that innocence off of me. Jessie has never told me to shut the fuck up or called me a fucking idiot. That speaks volumes to me.

“sigh” the things that fuck up our lives are the things we hunt out, we are some fucked up people, you know that

Jess? tis a odd coincidence but that tis the name of my former somewhat girlfreind as well

It is also the name of every other girl that I know.

Hmmm, the name of my former (read only) girlfriend…is (was?) neither Jess nor Val.

And my friend Jacob’s girl as well.

I heard Sarah was a more common name. If anything, my ex-fiancee was a coward and my ex-girlfriend was a bigger coward. Stupid fuckers. Fidelity and loyalty are practically a joke to me these days. I spend two years with one girl, three years with the next, one year before that and I think to myself “what’s the point?” I hear, “you’ll find someone” but the fact of the matter is I did and they changed.

Oh, and let’s not forget Tara, who broke up with me in a suicide note. I never saw her nor heard from her again. Love isn’t stupid, not really, but I have as much faith in love as I have faith in a compassionate God. (not much).

Vincy, prove to her that you care and go to her, Yes it will hurt but that proves your that much stronger. Don’t give her any reason to dout you

a girl i was with (not big enough to be an ex), things were going great, she coulda been big but her old BF moves back, the same one who said he loved her more then anything but moved a away ti console a hurt friend, and she left me for him that day, yea that felt GREAT

Believe me, Lark, when I say that won’t change anything. It’s like the trajectory is already set. She’ll have a strong will or a weak will, the way my dad had a weak will and fucked up his relationship with my mom. People are stupid and disgusting, faith is a joke, and if I knew whether Jessie was alive or not I’d know whether or not it was even worth a try to stay sober.

(Hint: It’s not.)

I’m just barely strong enough, tolerant enough to keep trying. If I weren’t, I’d just dig my coward’s grave.

Well, you still have that much. You are in for the long haul, but it’s good to see that you’re gonna do it…I still fear for your liver.

I’m back. Sorry for the long-ass delay, shit went down on skype between me and my two closest friends there, serious drama. One friend of mine passed on some logs to another friend of mine that that person wasn’t supposed to see, because they implied me hitting on that friend’s girlfriend, which I wasn’t doing. there was a scare among the three of us (friend 1, friend 2’s gf and me) about a possible break-up of friend 2 and his gf and that would have been very bad.

*pants* Didja get all that?

If it’s not fucking worthit then just go kill your self, end it all right now and all the pain stops, all the shit ends. Your just hiding behind the pain of loss as an excusse to booze and not put yourself in pains way. You’de be fucking supprised what the little acts can do. they can set things in stone and completly change a persons mind, but your being weak by not swallowing your fear and seeing her. I may sound heartless right now but i’ve had to put up with my far share of shit and i am optimistic as i am. If Shannon had to do the ssame thing i’de prolly be fired because they would have to drag my away from her bedside

*reads Lark’s post*
…
*twitches, resisting the impulse to go grammar nazi*

And i’m Yelling every fucking word Vincy

@ Icky-poo: I got that :|
@ Lark: Pain of loss and pain of permanent ulcers along my entire digestive tract that I can only feel when I’m not fucked up by abusing illegally-acquired Oxycontin or alcohol. Everything else is too complicated to get into right now, suffice it to say that I can’t see or talk to her. I rely on the word of mutual friends (weak, at best). The communication lines are down and all I can do is find a way to chemically calm myself until she wakes up.

EDIT: I know you’re yelling, I’m just…I can’t explain it. Words fail me. I appreciate it, for what it is. I’m just…

I’m sorry Johnny… I can only speak from experience here that things aren’t always doom and gloom, though you may go through periods where it seems that way. Personally I had a rough period of 3 years where long story short a group of developers and the city itself were trying to steal our land and ruin the small family business that was both out livelihood/retirement plan. There were literally malicious attacks every Fucking day: ranging from computer hacks to death threats and even firebombs. During this time both my parents and myself gained gray hair from the stress. My so called friends (all except a few) from school turned out to be complete assholes. The girl I was with for two years went insane and we were looking at being sent to the poor house… My good friends weren’t around at the time and my parents had enough problems as it was, and it got to the point where suicide was looking like a wonderful solution…I couldn’t do it, in fact I wouldn’t do it, There was no Fucking way I was going to give anyone the satisfaction or put that kind of a heartache on the ones I loved. Needless to say, things improved. I met some good people and I’ve tried to stay on top of things regardless of what may be happening, because the truth is that there are things and people worth living for…

I’m just sad that you seem to keep getting the short end of the stick. From what you’ve described to us over the past 7 months is that Jessie is one of those people worth fighting for… I don’t know the whole situation and it doesn’t seem like you are too hopeful… I can understand your loss of faith, because I can’t lie to myself and say that good people die for a reason, maybe they do, but I have yet to truly see it outside of major historical figures… I don’t know what else to say Johnny, I can only imagine the sense of helplessness you are going through and I hate that there isn’t really a good solution for it… I know you have had plenty of heart to heart talks with her, but as painful as it is, you should try to talk with her at least one more time if you truly think it is happening, least you regret it later. Whatever happens Johnny, we are here for you. I wasn’t lying when I said it has been an honor to have known you.

I can stay up if you want to keep talking this out.

People are wussies, Lark. If it makes either of you feel better, he’s doing better than me. The fact that he is meeting people and talking about his problems (both of which things I don’t do) means that he is exposing himself to potential pain. But one can only take so much, and she’s difficult to reach anyway.

All i’m saying is when i want something done, come hell or high water, it gets done. I’d prolly get fired, maced, and arrested but i Would not leave until she woke up, fuck the consequnces, but i’m an idiot. hell if i could get off work and go see her my self and give your sorry ass some news i would but i only get sundays off right now. And don’t think i would do it for just you, hell no, i’d do it for myself and every one elsse on here who give a shit about you and pray she’s alright

hi, will you guys talk to me?

Jerk sent me here on a whim and so here I am.

What’s with all of this stuff? We all have issues. Some of us apparently have some serious ones involving life, but hey, that’s how it rolls. I don’t know you guys at all, so I’m probably not going to be able to sympathize right, but oh well. I felt like commenting on it.

You picked a wrong time to show up Bae, i’m pissed at Vincy (Jerk) and am bitching at him right now

ah, cool. I’ll just let you steam a bit and I’ll be back tomorrow.

@ Sean: If I lived near you, if I knew where you were, I’d give my freedom to make some motherfucker pays for that shit in blood. But I am hanging on for Jessie as best I can, sober or not. Dealing with losing her wouldn’t be my only problem by a long shot.

@ Baeleox: You didn’t show up at a bad time, per se, I just happen to be drunk of my skull and, really, I don’t want them to take out their frustration at me on you.

So, guys? Please don’t. u.u I’m being a shitfucker, yes, but please don’t be frustrated if I send someone here. If I did, it’s only because they seem like the kind of person we might want.

I’ll talk to you! This is a dramatic moment though. These happen maybe every other every other night. If you don’t feel like getting involved, you might come back tomorrow around noon.

Edit: Oh, too late. Am sad.

Hi Baeleox, I’ll welcome you regardless. But yeah this is certainly an awkward time to show up.

@Lark: Cause getting pissed at a dude in an incredible amount of physical and emotional pain definitely helps him get over it. I understand what your saying, but making him feel more like shit probably isn’t going to help right now.

“deepsigh” You know what, i;m spent. It’s late, i’m tired, work starts at 4 tomarow, and the anger has drained me. I’m through, i’m going to sleep, tslk to you people later
“looks at Vincy and shakes my head in diapiontment”

@Sean yea it does, it’s what helped my pick myself up befor. once from outside, from a good friend of mine. And onece frome the inside, i saw myself and got disgusted and angery, i had to change myself from that creacher i had become so i forged my anger an used it to become better, so yes, in my opiniom it does help

@Jerk:

I appreciate the offer, and believe me you are one of many to offer said services, however I couldn’t risk getting anyone in trouble for doing said services. Now if it happens again or to someone else I care about, then they are done. Besides they got theirs by the end of it plus their names are mud in the city’s eyes for not being able to hand us over on a silver platter.

Regardless, I’m hoping and praying for her until the end.

thank you for the welcomes, but I agree with Lark right now. It’s late, I have to do a project involving origami due tomorrow, and have to get up at 6 for other high school activities. I’m gonna take Scotch’s advice and be back tomorrow after school. Have a nice life until then.

Take care then Bae, and Lark.

@ Scotch: Jerk is being a drama queeeeen hahaha
@ Lark: Fuck, I’m sorry, Lark, I’m just not ready to be that yet. Well, you know what I mean. I’m scared. And there’s nothing inherently that can be done or said to snap me out of it, and I’m disillusioned too.
@ Baeleox: Don’t mind me, I’m being a shitfucker tonight due to sheer tequila ingestion. They’ll accept and love you anyway eventually. :B I will help them when I’m sober.
@ Sean: If I prayed, I’d pray for her. And for you. And for everybody I like that’s in pain, that I see something and I see something unjust and I get so angry I can’t take it. Sometimes I think we’re the only gods we have and vigilantism is our only recourse.

Lark, I know this might sound condescending, but take it as best you can: I’m proud of you. I really am. I was the King Shitfucker when you showed up and you have really adapted so well that I think everybody has a chance, deserves a chance. You are my baseline for how I think everyone else should be: malleable and amiable.

Oh, go on with yo’ bad self.

@ Sean - Do you live in Hinamizawa? : D

Somedays it certainly seems that way… To be honest I was losing faith in humanity more and more until I found the people in this forum. It gave me hope that there are enough decent people in the world who give enough of a fuck to recognize said atrocities and to strive to make a difference.

@Scotch:

North Carolina, I’m probably closer to Leaving a Comment who is in Tennessee, than I am to you.

RC: Fourth season of Total Drama serie went will it end? X~X

@ Sean - Well, it’s good to hear that it is over. Is there a chance that they’ll come back?

@Raxki: As long as it has a heavy viewership then probably in another year or so.

Also, welcome to the RC/forums since I think I have yet to greet you.

@ Sean - Oh, I tried to make a joke. And I live in Ohiowa so I’m closer than you think.

@ Raxki - Can’t stand that show. I never liked the animation and the comedy is decent sometimes but every other time it’s fart-based.

Good night everyone.

And Vin, my e-mail address is seansoc89@aol.com if you ever need to contact me.

Movin’ to the country
Gonna eat a lot of peaches

I HAVE BROUGHT DRAMA TO REPLACE THE GAY SEX
OH GAWD, WHAT HAVE I DOOOOONE?!

Oh, don’t worry about that, honey. *licks Jerk’s eyeball out of his head…seductively*

HNNNNG NOT TONIIIIGHT I am just not in the mood ;_;

I know, I’m just shitfucking.

oh shit, don’t start emulating my words. that is a terrible path to follow.

It really is a delightful word. But, if you say so, I’ll leave it to you.

No, go ahead. I will never tell you to do as I say and not as I do.

The horror will surely never end. ^_^

@Jerk: I won’t give you a religious speech, but really, whether you are religious or not, praying will help. So long as you are sincere (and sober), it cannot hurt.

Vincy, i will not apollogise for what i said last night, but know this, i will take more then just me geting pissed at you to actully hate you so it’s back to normal for me.

“sigh” Anger is such a draining emotion, i dislike being it, but after an outburst and some sleep i feel like a million bucks. So i hope you have a Great morning Vincy