Bittersweet Candy Bowl

Post things that you’ve said before you that you fancy to be either philosophically enlightening, helpful, or just funny. It doesn’t really matter. Post things you’ve said that you like.

I’m not particularly great with words, but here’s the best one I can really think of

“Human nature is more often defined by what we do not know then by what we do.”

“All of man’s greatest adventures started with a step in the wrong direction”

twitters tweets that have been twat

“A facepalm is just a high-five to the face.”

Fetishes. “Sure, you can have a 500 pound landwhale reverse cowboy you vigorously, fine. I’m just not paying for your life insurance, that’s all.”.

“i dont think ive said anything worth quoting in my entire life” - whatanamazingdayforapicnic o’ sanchez, holland, 1945

“That dead girl’s totally into you.”

“If money is the root of all evil, what is the root of money?”

“Power corrupts, and absolute power is actually pretty neat!”

@Jerk, I need some context. I must know what that quote was about.

Admit it, BaconMan: you’re a cop. >_>

I think BBQ is a Mortuary assistant.

Scary, innit?

>

Remind me to never die in America.

It’s cool, at this rate it won’t be America much longer, and if it comes to that I’d like to be in Australia..

Death is just a form of consent.

…

“Death is just a form of consent.” - me, just now.

“Touch my corpse and my ghost will shove that formaldehyde so far up your ass that you’ll shit soup for a week, in addition to dying a slow, horribly painful death.”

Me, just now.

>

You make a compelling argument, Jeff.

Well, my friends all say that my logic is impeccable.

aww yeah, the snipers oath:

” Definition: ‘Love’ is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds. “

“Thrice a day keeps test cancer away!” >

“^_^”

Twenty-nine times before lunch. Every single day.

Truth and beauty are wonderful words,
But shrapnel is shrapnel,
And in the end, I am alone with the things I have done.

Huh? Yeah I gotta say I’m not really much for quoting myself, maybe a few of my characters have had good lines, but myself as far as insight-full goes? Yeah skipping that. But if there is a one line philosophy that I often try to follow it’s ‘Perspective is everything’

I come up with stuff all the time, but tend to forget it pretty quickly. I used to carry a notebook around to write in, but I’ve since given up the practice. One that I do remember though is “Change, like the wind, is inevitable. One must learn to be like the wind, accepting change and moving on.” I’ll post more if I remember ‘em. ^^

Dude, you probably heard that somewhere, I’m pretty sure some french guy said that.

Hm.. though, wait.. comedic quotes he says? Well here’s an online one that no one will let me live down. On a little chat line we were one. One dude was arguing over his wife over something, and she was clearly winning; while the rest of us were having a generic talk about what pets we have, what kind, the number what have you……..and it went something like this….

Husbandarn it why do you always win!
Wife:Because I have a Vagina!
Bribri (responding to a pet question):I have two!


Oh.. boy…. I never heard the end of that one haha. Even to this day the people present bring it up from time to time. Long after it was said someone asked me ‘So.. it’s two pussy’s you have right ^____^!”

Ah I love the internet.

“It’s better to say nothing and let people think you’re an idiot, than to speak and confirm it.”
By my teacher.

“Never let a high powered stapler launch a staple up your fingernail.”
By Me.

“I have the funniest story about what happened to me this weekend. But I can’t tell you, because I’d have to start it with the words ‘[My friend] and I were listening to Aqua this weekend’…”

If there’s grass on the field, play ball. But get a form of government ID first.

“Getting deported is just like a free ride home” Me to a mate when we were sent back from Wales.

“That doesn’t narrow it down!”
- myself, when told by a friend that he was the one in the photo who wasn’t looking like a faggot

hehehehehe.

Good one Billy. Though I am wary of the homophobia.

If I wasn’t one hundred percent sure the quote was mine, Jeff, then I wouldn’t claim it. ^^ Also, “Anyone can recognize opportunities on the horizon, but few see the ones closest to home.” And Liam would appreciate this one: “Any man would give a million tears for a single smile from his beloved. But a man truly in love knows that she’d only trade it for one of his.”

The first is fairly generic, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d heard something similar. Both are my quotes, though; I’m no thief. ^^

“I’d be unstoppable, if I bothered to get my ass off this chair”

S’kay, Abelin, I was just saying, didn’t mean for it to come out like that.

Also that second one is corny as.

*Snerk*

Sweet, but terribly corny.

Dunno if I got this from somewhere, or if I had it in some sort of epiphany or something, but I’ve always had the quote of “An intelligent man knows not when to end a fight, but rather when not to start.” in my mind for the past year or so.

If anyone knows where I could’ve gotten that from please tell~

…

Got no idea, sounds like Sun Tzu, or Napolean. Someone like that.

Speaking of Sun Tzu, even if this isn’t my quote it’s still awesome.

“If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that - and I think he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal; because HE INVENTED IT!”

I’m pretty sure Tzu just wrote the book on it.

WE invented it when one ape slapped another.

Lol, dude, the quote is from this.
http://www.teamfortress.com/soldier.htm

Ohhh.

@Kyle:I’m going to go with snipers oath

I’ll bet you money that this is all one big prank that some future dead man came up with.

~Quote from a character in a fanfic I’m writing. If anyone can find it I will literally shit myself in amazement.

“You need to change the status of your Myspace page so I’ll know whether to lust after you publicly or privately.”

I think I made this up. Maybe I didn’t.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice. Then watch while everyone tries to figure out how you did it.

Nah, I’ve heard it before