Bittersweet Candy Bowl

The looooove boaaaat.

No, I’m kidding.
This was the brain child of Toasty, JB, Rukral, Maverik, and I in the BCB chat one day and I took it upon myself to try and author a story that would rival Love Me in forms of horror in the later chapters. Mind you, it starts off slow.

Knock yourselves out.

As always, comments and critique are welcome. It’s my early Halloween gift to you generous folks here at BCB and a special gift for Suitcase and Taeshi on this lovely unholy and satanic holiday.

lolfirst

pre reading thoughts: “oh god… susan has made something to rival love me? what the fuck?”

after reading thoughts: “huh… this reminds me of ILB’s story so far…”

that’s because it’s not done ffff

sorry bout the incompleteness of my last post, i had to run.

anyways, the story so far is good, lots of potential, and i am still very interested to see if you can top mavie.

I expect more David antics every chapter! I couldn’t stop smiling the whole time.

And what about your other fic? Will jerk have to kill a puppy?

Chapter 2

fdkjgldfh inb4 “waaaaaaah romance”

It’s not working

Very clever Susan….

I fixed it : smug :

also tribute that chapter to tae <33333

better

“You’re the reason that Sandy broke up with me. After you… told me… how you felt, all I could do was discuss you with Sandy.”
“And it hurt her, so she gave me an ultimatum. Stop talking to you.”
“But… I couldn’t do it… You’ve been my friend for far too long…”

HMMM, this seems so firmiliar… >_<

Oh and glass fight, I approve.

I said it was a tribute to tae’s gift ;_;

I was reading during the edit.

Also, in edit mode, I notice that there is a Daisy telling me to go to the store on the ranbow bar thing. I just noticed that.

Anyway, I forgot to mention that the other stuff was good too.

Another EDIT, instead of making a new post. I want to have a glass fight with gameking, and only I have glass.

AND THEN THEY BANGE-
Oh I’m sorry got confused for a moment there, mixed up authors.
Awesome part! Can’t wait for the mind ruining horror to destroy this tender moment! Although this part was really sweet. You really are very good at writing.

hrm… second chapter and there already back together? new record?

Ooh, it’s chilling so far

@David Ideas Inc.
Accepted. At dawn, near Dead Man’s Drop. Bring your sharpest glass.

I want in this glass fight now. if you don’t let me come i will cut [with glass] you both from a distance *evil smile*

I have a feeling Lucy’s about to be impaled. ;D

Still waiting for my Titanic reference.

“I’ll never let go~”

k gonna stop procrastinating and start working

And then Mike turns to her:
…

“We’re no strangers to love
You know the rules, and so do I”

*hip gyrations* bow chicka mow mow

new chapter *teehee*

I approve of David’s attempt at the beginning of the chapter, and him not losing his default face during the horror.

So THAT’S the turtle’s intentions…

Yay for your good writing.

This was very well written, but…
*Spoilers!
that whole bulkhead bifurcating Sue death scene and the mercy kill seemed so astonishingly out of place. I even did some research online, and I can not find a single article or document saying that bulkheads create a seal in a way that could in theory do that to someone. A bulkhead is, from what I gather, used primarily to stop water from leaking through the sides. Even if it was used to seal off flooded areas, it seems more likely they would install a watertight door (With the crank in the middle) than say “oh you’re trapped so die now” or force them to Indiana Jones under the door, despite the ships age, because bulkheads were largely reworked after the sinking of the Titanic. I’m going to stop now as I can literally go on forever.
Also, that whole mercy kill scene in general seems forced. It feels really out of place with the characters.
And again, blah blah blah blah, rant rant rant rant rant blah blah rant blah rant blah blah.
This price was still very well written and had a great pace and very realistic dialog. Just hope you learn a little more about killing.

the boat was sinking and there really wasn’t time to whine about killing sue ;_;

also the bulkhead idea wasn’t mine but I see where you’re coming from

It’s not the leaving quickly part that seemed so weird, it was Tess. It seemed like if she was willing to do that, crying on the sinking ship and holding them all up might not have been the immediate responce. Don’t get me wrong, it was really good up until she started crying, but it just confused me. Not a game breaker by any means, just confusing.

Love…

I will say no more.

Does anyone (propably susan) Have a clue what the ship’s name means? I do.

@Gameking218 Take a look at the Black Mesa Research Facility. They build boats and stuff this way so that this kind of shit would happen if something went wrong.

Great way to start the “game,” Susan. I never would have thought of it.

@Riff2580: I got it and smiled for great justice.

So will there be any more to this?

Yes, but I’m currently working on a shorter project so this will be updated soon.

I liked it, good to see a MikexLucy Fanfic… was confused when everything went from lovey lovey gooey gooey to OMG CHAOS GIRL CUT IN HALF!!! but overall good story hoping there is a good ending to this :O

David is a phsycopath!! He watched Sue die and smiled the entire time!

Good dusty good.
I didn’t think it was enough
but you have affected the masses well.
(the reveiw was mine)
now to go from psycopah to entity

*stares into space*

I think people like this have depressing real lives and that the computer is the only place where they are noticed.

I somewhat have that problem too.

bump

Fantastic, I especially liked the Mike X Lucy

Susan, promise me you’ll make a book of all your fanfics. Or SuitCase could make another book of all the best ones. I assure you this’ll be in there. Fantastic contrast, could it be called bittersweet? *brick’d* But seriously, brilliant work. Next update please!

And Wolf, did you expect anything else? Susan is a rabid MikexLucy fan.

Use the edit button ಠ_ಠ

I WANT MOAR STORY

wait there is an edit button :o

GAHHHH UPDATEEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?!?