Bittersweet Candy Bowl

I had to explain spooning to her.

At first, I lol’d. Then I srs’d. Then I started giggling like a schoolgirl.

Still, not as bad as when I had to explain to a teacher at my high school what dry humping was… it’s a miracle I managed to keep a straight face

oh my that must have been awkward and how did that come up in conversation?

on a side note when i first read your post i fell out of my chair because i was laughing so hard

I had the disturbing experience of hearing my 9 year old cousin talk about sex. I did not need to know she knew what oral sex was already.

@goldwulf

She was making coffee and said “how many spoons of coffee?”

I lol’d

Wait until you have to explain “Donkey Punch” and “Cleveland Steamer.”

…

*facepalms*

This was a set-up, there is no way I could have resisted this. NOT FAIR.

whats spooning :3

XD reminds me when i had to explain to my best friend what a masochist is XD.

@Cap
Just say Lark90

Nah. You’re just a guy with a death wish.

my friend made me explain what a Dirty Sanchez was to his girlfriend.

I had to explain what dry humping was to my teacher…

I do not know what spooning, dry humping, donkey steamer, Cleveland punch or dirty Sanchez means, and I must say that I am rather happy about that. ^_^

is she hot?

At first I saw the thread name: “My poor sister.”

Then I saw the NSFW designation.

I cringed.

I came in, read through a few posts.

I cringed again.

Dry humping is self-explanatory. Spooning is just a kind of cuddling where one person curls up behind another. Like when you’re putting spoons away and they all fit together.

I’m not allowed to tell you what the other three are, but just so I don’t disappoint my fans, there is something called “The Angry Dragon” where, once a girl has finished giving you oral, you punch her in the face so that semen and blood shoot out of her nose.

What if she spits?

It still works that way too. As long as you’ve got blood and semen leaking, I don’t see why it should matter.

That’s still a pretty dick move though…

That’s pretty bad but so is “Bucking Bronco.” The point of that one is to do something in mid-coitus, ideally doggystyle, that pisses her off and your job is to hold on until you climax. I’m still not sure if that one counts as rape or not.

Like grabbing her ta-tas and saying “Huh, your sister’s are better.”?

Like slapping her ass and yelling your last girlfriend’s name repeatedly. If you’re doing anal it’s even better because her sphincter shuts the way it would during a donkey punch.

This is why I love Jessie. She is too sweet for me to be able to even talk like this around her.

hmmm Bucking broncos the correct name? i always thought it was called rodeo style

also at my brother work, they have Cleavland brand steam ovens, make of it what you will

Hee, Johnny, I stopped reading at “spoons”. ^_^

Whether dry humping is self-explanatory or not, I may never know. I will be much content with not knowing what either that or the other things are.

So perhaps I had better find somewhere else to post before I inadvertently read something I should not? ^_^

This entire thread was just to bait me and, God help me, I bit.

Don’t forget reverse cowgirl, always a faverite