Bittersweet Candy Bowl

how many blonds dose it take to screw in a pickle?












At least 2 and it would have to be an incredably large pickle.

Don’t think of a polar bear!

(Lol random reference).

I can tell by your hangdog expresion, that you’ve been out once again hanging dogs.

Chuck Norris: He pities Mr.T.

It looks like I can tell the terrible jokes now.

9 out of 10 people enjoy group rape.

54 replies WHAT

two muffins are in a oven one looks over to the other and sad “Man it’s hot in here” the other muffin sad “….HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN !!!!!!!!!!!!! “

Alright this ones old, not original, and offensive, but get over it.
A Muslim walks into a bar, BOOM!!!

@Kariz: My PS3 suffered yellow light of death, my friend’s Wii was fried by a power surge, my other friend’s Xbox? STILL WORKING PERFECTLY, now that’s just a cruel joke from fate itself

Also-two peanuts walk into a bar, one of he gets assaulted…
And finally-dyslexics of the world untie!

What do you call a black person flying a plane?

















A pilot.

A couple is doing it right now, she starts moaning “Yes- more- call me dirty things!”
He : “kitchen, bathroom, toilet…”

Bruce lee:He pities chuck norris

How does Lady Gaga order or steak?
Raw Raw Raw ah ah

What lettuce does she request be put in her salads?
Roma Roma ma

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
P-p-p-poke her face

Whats the diffence between a Ferari and a migrant worker
I dont have 50 feraris in my basment makeing shoes

you spelled ferarri wrong

see if i had 50 of those id spell it right

You both spelled Ferrari wrong.

this thread needs an instantrimshot button.

This thread needs euthanasia

i dont particularly care about the youth in my own country let asia take care of its own kids

Ba-dum TISH!

Did you hear about the Dyslexic Devil Worshiper?

He sold his soul to Santa.

Wow, this thread is corny enough to feed all the kids in China.

An English lord walks into a fine drinking establishement without a hat on and….
Bwahahaha what kind of proper English lord leaves his manor hatless eh whut

I worry for the minds of some of you….

Chuck Norris is so awesome, when he ships a couple, they IMMEDIATELY become cannon.

Also, bump.

civilwarcannon.png

Huh. Talk about a face that can launch a thousand ships.

Chuck Norris is so lame,when he ships a couple,they IMMEDIATELY break up and go seperate ways,and bruce lee comes and kills chuck norris for doing it

Whats the sound of a cymbal and a pair of drums falling off a cliff….






























*ba-dum-tsh*

We’re really dredging the bottom of the humor barrel now, aren’t we?


Oh well…

What goes “Hahaha *BONK*”










Somebody laughing their head off.

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?





You open the door, put in the elephant, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?





You open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.

The king of the jungle holds a conference of all the animals. Which one does not attend?





The elephant, because he’s stuck in the fridge!

There is a river but it is known to be infested by crocodiles. How do you cross?





You jump in and swim across - all the alligators are at the animal conference!

Wait… The giraffe was the one in the fridge because you took the elephant out. So why can’t the elephant attend the conference?

How many elephants can you fit in a minivan?

4

How many giraffes can you fit in a minivan?

None, there are already 4 elephants in there.

How can you tell if there is an elephant in the fridge?

There’s footprints in the butter.

How can you tell if there are 2 elephants in the fridge?

You can hear giggling when you close the door.

How can you tell if there are 3 elephants in the fridge?

The door wont quite close.

How can you tell if there are 4 elephants in the fridge?

There’s a minivan parked outside your house.



How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one but the lightbulb has to WANT to change.

How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

LETS GO RIDE BIKES!!!!

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one but it’ll take about 6 episodes.

Yeah, the over 9000 answer works too but its been done to death.

@Jay The First: 50 jokes?
If you don’t understand then I’m wrong and you can just ignore this

Two cows are in a field.
One of them goes “Moo!”

And the other one goes:
“I was gonna say that!”

Two cows are sitting in a field. One turns to the other and says, “Y’know, I’m kinda worried about this mad cow disease that’s been going around.” The other gives the first cow a funny look and replies, “It really doesn’t matter to me, I’m a helicopter!”

my stomach hurts

Indigestion caused by an overdose of terrible jokes, eh whf? I know just the cure!

Leftover pizza bites dipped in chocolate and thrown into an omelet with apple slices and peanut butter.

Works every time!

no it just hurts
i eat some pretty strange foods though
peanut butter and bacon hotdogs/ fried mars bars/ everything bagels with tamato cream cheese bacon and scrambled egg are some notable ones/ im not trying to be funny here or anything

Sounds good! I personally like the whatever’s-left-in-the-refrigerator-sandwiches, mostly because they have such variety! It’s nice to meet another person who has an open mind when it comes to food!

Reminds me of what I do at fast-food stores I like to call “Skittle Juice.” Basically, if they have a soda-dispensing machine, pick and choose 3-5 sodas you like and distribute them evenly in your cup. I personally suggest Dr. Pepper, Orange Soda, Sprite, Fruit Punch, and Coca-Cola.

Not bad, but I try not to put too many different sodas together as it dilutes the flavor of each one. I usually do 2 or 3, no more.

MiwAuturu, bingo. I’m so ashamed of myself.

What do you call a mythical horned equine beast that loses its testicles?









A eunuchorn.

What do you do if you’re stuck in a room with a lion, a tiger, and a bass player, but only two bullets in your gun?

You shoot the bass player. Twice.

What’s the difference between a clarinet and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

What’s the difference between an oboe and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop up the oboe.

How many guitar players do you need to change a lightbulb?

Five. One to do it, and four to complain that they could’ve done it better.

How do trumpet players greet eachother?

“Hi. I’m better than you.”

How can you tell that a stage is level?

The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

How is a violinist’s fingers like lightning?

Neither strikes the same spot twice.

What’s worse than a mediocre vocalist?

A good vocalist.

How many pianists do you need to change a lightbulb?

One, but he’ll pay someone to do it instead.

What’s brown and rhymes with snoop.









Dr. Dre!

^this is the first “great” joke in this topic imo
i giggled