Bittersweet Candy Bowl

I can’t help it. If someone sets me up, I have to finish it. It’s like Tourette’s.

I’m a victim here. :.(

… I will refrain from setting you up again, then. Do take care not to look closely at my posts, will you? ^_^

russian roulette paler goes to sudan
sadanese man says “weve got a much scarier game then russian roullette here.”
one of these 6 beautiful women will give you a free blowjob.
russian asks” hows that scary?”
sudanese man replies”one of them is a cannibal”

lets play russian roulette with a glock!
there will be no losers!

So i was driving along and sorta day dreaming to the point where i barely noticed the care in front of me at the stop sign…

I quickly slammed the brakes, but not in time to not give the car in front of me a good jolt. After cursing to myself for rear ending someone, i saw the door open and the angry driver stepped out.

To my surprise, he was a midget, and had a great big beard, he looked like a dwarf! He motioned with his hand for me to get out of the car, so i did. He glared at me and yelled,

“I am NOT Happy!”

So i looked at him and said,

“So which one are you then?”

And THAT is when the fight started…

“man, i am SO hungry.”
“hello mr. hungry. may i call you ‘so’?”

There were two men who were alcoholics. Both of them went out to the town to get smashed but they both forgot there wallets, leaving them with only one dollar.

The first man, after some thinking, told the second man, “I have an idea! Let’s go get a hot dog!”

The second man said, “How is getting a hot dog gonna solve anything? I’m not even hungry…”

The first man replied with a plan, “We arn’t gonna eat it. We’re gonna use it to get us free drinks!”

The second man had no idea where his friend was going with this, so he asked, “How is a hot dog gonna get use free drinks?”

The first man then explained, “What I’m gonna do is take the hot dog and hide it in my pants. We’ll then go to the bar and ask for a couple of drinks, and tell the bartender that we’ll pay after the drinks. After having a few, you’ll get down on your knees and suck on the hot dog, which I’ll stick out from my zipper. If it goes well, we’ll get kicked out and not have to pay for the drinks!”

The second man replied, “That sounds like a great idea! Then let’s go buy a hot dog!”

So they both go and buy the hot dog, and were standing outside the bar when the first man said, “Now remember, we can’t risk having to many drinks, or the bartender will probably still make us pay before kicking us out.”

The second man nods in agreement, and they both go in.

After having a few shots of whisky, then threw their plan into action! The second man got down on his knees and started sucking on the hot dog. The bartender who was furious with this action made them both leave, forgeting to make them both pay for their drinks. After a quick high five, the two men went out to the next bar.

The plan was working perfectly, bar after bar the two men went on drinking without having to pay a cent. After the eleventh bar, the second man began rubbing his legs and said to the first man,

“Could you be the one to suck the hot dog? My knees are starting to hurt from kneeling all the time…”

The first man then turned to the second, and replied, “You think that’s bad? I lost the hot dog eight bars ago!”

Nobody liked it…?

man, i had an entire book of stories like that, jake, but it fell into a river, then got burned, then thrown back into the river, picked back up, stapled back together, then left at the camping site.

anyway, good story jake, but a predictable ending

“Have you heard the joke you’re not supposed to tell gay people?”
“Why no, I haven’t. What is it?”
“Sorry, I can’t tell you.”

Ironman is a super hero
Ironwoman is an order.

wow is this the lame jokes thread no i dont think it is

You guys want to know a joke?









Women rights ahahahahahaha!

Truly, it is. ^_^

Oh, and:


How many wrestlers do you need to change a light bulb?

I have no idea. I use replacement light bulbs, myself.

<1> hey do you know if BT will go thru wall and 15 meters to my garden?
<2>if BT means battle tank then yes…