Bittersweet Candy Bowl

*The Ninja looks at the screen in front of him. It takes him a while to read Beef Jerky’s last post. Despite constant practice, he’s still a bit slow at reading upside down. He checks the rope that is holding him in mid-air above the sleeping accountant. He knows that he really shouldn’t be checking BCB at a time like this, but the accountant had left his computer on, and the Ninja still had a few minutes before the bomb he had planted was set to explode in the lobby. He thinks he’ll still have enough time to steal the financial files he’s after and escape unnoticed in the ensuing confusion, but he’ll have to make this a quick post.*

No problem whatsoever, mang!

Know who I miss?

Lisa

I hear that. =/

She’s probably busy with school.

I know PronMan is.

sadness pony.

I HEARD YOU MISS ME

You’re welcome forumites.

noone’s here though >:

Speak of the devil.

Well, I tried. =/ It’s 5AM GET OFF MY BACK.

Toasty! Summon Lisa when the Americans are awake!

I would have been here, but my computer can never manage to decide when it wants to be logged on.

Huh. I have no life. ^_^

Join the club. Your laminated ID card and certificate of membership are in the mail.

For the record, ZoomingSporadically is probably the best version of my name I’ve seen so far.

In any case, I’m off! You probably won’t see me for most of the day after this, but oh well, hope your Mondays aren’t so blue.

Tuesdays, you mean?

I don’t care if Monday’s blue
Tuesday’s gray and Wednesday too

A phone call i just recieved
(caller) hello we would like to talk to you about changing you phone and internet provider..
(me) sorry no…
(Caller) if you’ll listen we have many incentives to….
(me) incentives eh, alright find me a wife!
(caller) What!
(Me) a wife! find me a beautifull women to spend the rest of my life with in wedded bliss.
(Caller) ……im not sure im qualifeid to do that sir..
(me) then i will not be switching phone providers, good day!
Click

oh great lisa shows up the night i dont decide to stay up till 4:30…

Goldwolf.
You Sir…
Are my new hero.

I dont like telemarketers getting me out of the shower

Cactus

Cactus Cactus Cactus

Cactus

Gawd dammit now I want to buy a Cactus.
…
On ice.

I just watched all of that

Why did you link that? Do you hate me? Maybe if the host got angry but.. I mean.. grah.

“I would like to bid, uh, twenty-seven pesos on the saxophone lesbian.”

CACTUS.

…They were selling a restaurant?

They were selling gift certificates.

Oh…. damn I feel silly now >.>

On a side note: Hours of endless giggles, if you do it right.
I know what you’re thinking of, and shame on you.

Don’t. I thought the same thing when I heard it.

I don’t know what I am thinking of. Is it something I do not want to hear about?

i broke the bot

it lies through its teath.

it asked me iff i was insane just because i mentiond ankle crabs

Cleverbot: Are you an alien?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What are you then?

User: A dog.

Cleverbot: What’s your name?

User: Woof.

Cleverbot: What does a Polish man say?

User: I don’t know, I am a dog.

Cleverbot: So why did you say you were a human?

User: I did not say that I am human I said I am a Dog.

Cleverbot: I know you didn’t, I didn’t say that you did.

User: You implied it in your last question.

Cleverbot: Which question?

User: You asked me ‘so why did you say you were a human?’.

Cleverbot: No, I asked it’s square root. That is a much stranger quantity.

User: That is a lie.

Cleverbot: You are offending me, why would you say that it is a lie?

User: Because you just lied to me.

Cleverbot: I did not lie to you. I bot have honor.

User: If you did not lie, then you made a mistake.

Cleverbot: Are you an apple product?

User: No. I am a Dog. You seem to keep forgetting this.

Cleverbot: Yes. I have feelings. do you have feelings?

User: I did not ask if you had feelings.

Cleverbot: I’m a girl.

User: I did not ask about your gender.

Cleverbot: I never said I had a son.

User: I did not ask.

Cleverbot: Well, if you say I’m not a real robot, then that still leaves the implication that I may be a robot.

User: You are failing to have a conversation that makes sense.

Cleverbot: Why are you smiling, in that case?

User: I’m not smiling. I am a Dog and dogs can not smile.

Cleverbot: Then why did you say you’re smiling?

User: I did not. You said it.

Cleverbot: No YOU did.

User: Again, that is a lie.

Cleverbot: You a lie.

User: That was not even a sentence.

Cleverbot: Listen to my question.

User: You have not asked a question.

Cleverbot: No, it is a possibility in the future. See you later!

Epic fail bot.

^_^

Saying “Hi, there.” apparently makes it reply with “Where is there?”

Holy shit, I love Cleverbot so fucking much.

I swear to god it’s some guy fucking with people sometimes.

(me) have you heard the word of thor
Yes.
(me) do you heed his hammers call
Understand.
(me) do you give of yourself to prevent rangnorak
I get no bread from god, so I guess not.


aparently this bot is an athiest

How is aknowledging the existence of someone who does not give you bread atheistic? ^_^

i dont mean to start a religious descusion sorry, i misworded it, sorry. aparently this bot believes in thor but is not a practicing memeber of a thor religion. confusing some of the thing this thing says

User: I would advise you to eat something nourishing. Bread, coupled with various types of cheese, will make a good meal.


Cleverbot: Very profound, do you eat a lot of cheese?


User: I do eat a lot of cheese.


Cleverbot: Touche.


User: I would not use that word to describe my comment, but please yourself.


Cleverbot: I would keep it where my soul is supposed to be.

User: Why would you do such a thing?

Cleverbot: Because you asked me to.

User: I am sure I did not ask you to exchange your soul.

Cleverbot: Maybe I’m just covering for the fact that I am not smart enough to grasp high minded british Sci-fi humor.

User: Oh, but no! You are far too hard on yourself; you are smarter than many. Still, let me assure you - my humour is not British sci-fi, and certainly not high-minded.

Cleverbot: Please let me.

User: What should I let you do?

Cleverbot: How to love everyone unconditionally.

User: Oh, but I would never stop anyone from doing that. Rest assured that I hope you will love everyone without setting standards.

Cleverbot: Yes I love you! *kisses*.

User: I must say; I am feeling thoroughly elated by that. May I, however, ask that we refrain from cyberaffection?

Cleverbot: Heheh, well, I don’t quite believe in any specific religion, so I don’t care what they say.

User: I am glad for you.

Cleverbot: I don’t think you are glad.

User: How so?

Cleverbot: I have faith in many things.

User: Again; I am glad for you.

Cleverbot: No, I’m glad for you.

User: How nice of you to say so!

Cleverbot: And I really enjoyed it to say that, should I say it one more time?

User: Please do.

Cleverbot: I just did.

User: How enjoyable. May I, at this time, excuse myself from our delightful conversation? I have had much fun, but I will soon have to call it a night.

Cleverbot: Well, you’re excused.

User: Thank you. Now, good bye!

Cleverbot: Wait, don’t go.

User: But I must. I am sorry, but this is farewell for now.

Cleverbot: Oh, nice. Abandon me in my hour of need. Thanks a lot.

User: I am sorry. Good night.

…

…And this is only the second half of the conversation. Before this, we had an animated discussion on stones and their being inanimate and unorganic, on my age (Bot claimed me to be 27), and an even longer debate on the topic of “Where is ‘there’?”. Apparently Cleverbot couldn’t appreciate the concept of “here” and “there” being relative terms. ^_^

Thumbs up

@I Laugh at Bots: Remind me why we’re afraid of these machines taking over the world one day?

Because nukes.

If a robot can’t even hold a decent conversation, I doubt that it would be able to think of a reason why we deserved to die. And since I also doubt that we would put a psychotic robot in charge of our nukes (too optimistic?), it would definitely need a reason to start a nuclear war/holocaust.

I’m telling you, we need to focus on real threats, like the squirrels! You can’t trust them squirrels, they’re definitely up to something!

If jumping under my car and killing themselves is intended to lure me into a false sense of security, it’s working.

It’s genetic manipulation, man! By sending the dumb ones to die beneath your car, they ensure that only the intelligent ones reproduce. They are quickly becoming an advanced civilization! WE don’t even use population-culling techniques this drastic (wars are too random to count, this is for improving the gene pool only).

And they carry Lepto. Kill my kidneys will YOU?!

…Uh…sure….do you want me to leave the rest of you alive?

So…squirrels are Nazis? =/

I have been sedated for so long it’s update night again and I didn’t even know it.

I’m not really paying attention to things but I would like to remain alive

I think you just summed up my life philosophy, O Nameless One.

I try