Bittersweet Candy Bowl

So it’s that time of the year when a young man’s fancy turns to the untimely passing of various celebrities. Me, I’m starting a celebrity dead pool. I think betting on specific celebrities wouldn’t pick up enough action, so I’m just setting down the professions and we can all pick one of those that will lose one of their esteemed members.

- musician
- actor
- athlete
- politician
- religious figure (I’m looking at you, Fred Phelps, you son of a whore.)
- reality television
- miscellaneous celebrity

I’m juggling 5 FORUM PAGES NEW RECORD!! lol xD
…
It’s harder than you think.




Seriously.

ORLY?

@Goldwulf Q. Triplesexy: When over the counter pain meds fail, move onto percription. Also Gary Coleman died? Google says yes…I didn’t even know he was in such bad condition
@Ninja: I almost discovered the location of my local Ninja when I suddenly got an inexplicable fear for my life and gave up.

You may be nameless, but you’re obviously not brainless!

I need to be doing something productive but I love you guys too much to leave you alone. Unattended. Vulnerable to the elements of the internet.

Plus, if I stay up longer I might see the elusive Lisa.

I brought a Master Ball this time.

Careful, Taeshi might have already captured her! If so she’ll just block the ball and you will have wasted a MASTER BALL!!!!

Taeshi has built up quite the artist harem.

Would you expect anything less?




(@Taeshi: I’M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I said, a long time ago, she’d start building a harem. Which brings up the question of why she doesn’t let them out of their cages more often. Is it so she can control the flow of pornography? Methinks she’s a Harkonnen.

The porn must flow.

Well my jerky-flavored friend, it looks like you’ve DUNE it again.

*bangs head against table after bad pun*

I aim to torture…

*loads up shotgun* That’s it you’re going down. *remembers that it is a Ninja, unloads shotgun* Oh nevermind…

Hey! I’ve been nice to you so far! Why would you even think about attempting (an admittedly impossible) deed like killing me! Do you want me to find you, kill your family, burn your house, and shred your corpse into so many pieces that you’d cover the continental United States? Or do you want me to do something worse, like bring out the REALLY bad puns?

You choose, (maneless), you choose.

I have anti-Ninja spray to protect me, as for your bad puns? Bah! I’ve read Vogon poetry! Do your worst!

First, Vogon poetry is onlly excruciating when read aloud by an actual Vogon. Otherwise it’s just bad, nothing more, and it’s never had any puns in it.
Second, Take this!

PS Anti-Ninja spray only works in the commercials. I would know, we Ninjas make the stuff to sell to people foolish enough to but it.

Well in my defense I don’t want to actually meet a Vogon I try to avoid things that won’t think once about killing me (or worse). And that was a comic was about a 5.5 on my WHAT THE HELL?!? scale

Just wait, I have more…

…
Oh God…

Oh. So you’ve found it, haven’t you.

Oh dear…

Hey! They’re not THAT bad. I haven’t even BEGUN to fight!

leik four times, thank you!! you have links to that thing EVERYWHERE!!!!


EDIT: Late post is late

Redundant is redundant!

And your welcome.

And obvious meme is obvious

And stupid continuation of what is obviously a moronic idea to begin with requires a lot more words than is strictly necessary between its two parts to be considered stupid.

And tired (nameless) is tired, I bid you all goodnight

Ditto.

… He forgot the *.

Wait, why are you all leaving me? ^_^

I AM A LIVING PERSON TOO I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW.

Because it’s almost 5a.m. in the bread basket of America (fuck yeah!). I’ve to stay awake ‘til I feel better.

Isn’t sleep what’s usually meant to make you feel better?

Normally, but I can’t sleep when I’m sick. I have to wait for it to go away.

Ah.

Get well soon ^_^

Oh well. I’ll be away for half an hour. Think well of me while I’m gone ^_^

(looks out window)
God damn snow doesnt it know what month it is!!!

Apparently not.

Holy crap Goldwulf, where are you?

Calgary Alberta Canada, but the snow just stoped, now its cold rain

Oh okay, that’s still crazy though. I love snow so I would be outside right now if I were you, but that’s only cause I see it around here maybe…..once a year?

Yeah i dont mind it, and the rains nice because this towns dry as hell most of the time, always supriseing and hilarious to see my coworkers smart car buried completely in snow in the morning.

Awesome. I love my town cause it’s great for swimming, but holy crap we have a bubble that protects it from snow. Literally, every time there’s a huge snow storm in my part of the state, the storm splits up, goes around, and then starts again as soon as it’s past the county limits. EVERY FREAKIN TIME.

At least your weather doesn’t switch from hot, humid, and sunny to raging thunderstorms every hour or so!

my old towns weather does that all the time, one minute its blazing hot and the suns so bright you cant mve more than ten feet without taking a break and the next the rain falls in sheets strong enough to throw you to the ground. From Windsor with its wet hot weather to cold dry Calgary that’ll fuck up anyones system

Did you get hail with your rain as well? We had marble-sized hail a couple days ago.

Good morning, well its still barely morning in California, after a rare late May rain shower a couple days ago it is beautiful, sunny, and clear far as the eye can see

Lifting weights, popping pills, going back to sleep, feeling sorry for myself.

Yay.

Guess what time it is!



It’s Jerk’s Name-Changing Time!

Let the suggestions begin!!!!