Bittersweet Candy Bowl

The Guardian

By, Sean (SAS)

Setting: Lucy is relaxing under the same tree that Mike and herself used to chat under and it is around Noon on a Saturday.


….guess that jerk isn’t going to show up after all.

“Hey there…”

*Smack* Who are you and why did you sneak up on me?

“Ow…My name is Sean and I wasn’t trying to spook you.

Well what do you want?

“Easy I just came to talk, you have been so distant to the others as of late and I can tell your hurting inside”.

I……What the Hell, are you stalking me? Answer before I make you less of a man!

“Err… I prefer to think of it as acting as a guardian, but….Sorry I have to start from the beginning.”


“A couple of years ago a friend of mine was approached by a gang leader who recruited by threatening to kill the kid’s friends and family…..He refused and despite putting up one hell of a fight, he was killed. The police said there was too little evidence despite knowing exactly who did it and having precedents to work off of. He was going to be a father…. After that I became determined to get the evidence I needed to put him away. After tracking him for awhile I found out how many followers he had and knew I couldn’t approach him alone, but more importantly I overheard of how he had a run in with you and your group of friends. He revealed his next scheme and……it involves you raped, your friends betrayed by those they care for and even death. I couldn’t stand by and let that happen, so I have been watching over you and your friends to make sure his plan doesn’t succeed. However I have grown attached to your lives and more importantly I have seen how hurt you have been recently after your ordeal with Mike’s rejection and Paulo’s escapades to boost his pride. Basically I’m here to help. If this is too much though, I will leave you to your thoughts.”

Wait…..no it’s ok really, and thank you. You have gone through so much…. and please… I would like someone to talk to.

“She had been hurting all along, always left to her thoughts and never secure enough to open up. I don’t blame her, the second she did tell anyone they immediately went behind her back. She reminded me of myself back in early and middle grade school. We talked for hours and when we were finally done it was dark.”

-Well, well, what do we have here? Oh do stay, if you behave you can witness our fun.-

“How about you get the fuck out of here! You think the three of you are enough to take me… Lucy get ready to run.”

-No I think these two can do that without my help, Take him!-

The first guy charges in with a tackle, I quickly dodge, hook his leg and trip him. The second I recognize as Augustus, he hesitates and when he goes in for a punch he purposely misses and swings around me to make it look like I threw him on the first thug. Augustus gets up and notices that the leader just pulled out a gun and took aim. Augustus tackles me, but not before I receive a shot to the gut. Lucy screams, I scream, everything starts to blur.

“NNNGH!……*cough*…..dammit……ca..can’t get up….”

-Augustus! What the fuck was that! You weren’t trying to save him were you?-

:No, I…..I didn’t see you with the gun…I was trying to take him down like you said.:

-Prove it then.-

:….What…:

-Finish him off-

:I….alright:

Augustus takes the gun and walks over to where I’m struggling, but Lucy jumps in his way.

“Lucy get out of the way, get out of here.”

No, I can’t do that…..I can’t lose you too.

“Lucy…..”

:Its alright I have a plan, when I turn to yell back at the Boss grab my gun and scare us off… alright?:

“Thank you…I knew you weren’t like them.”

:Hey Boss! The dudes bleeding out shouldn’t we just….:

I grab the gun.

“Back off! All of you….Get out of here or it won’t just be your manhood I’ll take from you!”

-Hes bluffing-

“Really? You just tried to kill me, what further excuse do you think I need to finish you off.”

He takes a step forward, I shoot and graze the top of his thigh.

“Need anymore proof.”

-Lets go guys, BUT DON’T YOU THINK THIS IS OVER!-

They leave.

A stranger runs up.

~Are you alright….Oh God…I’ll call an ambulance.~

I start to pass out.

Sean, hang in there….Please…..

“I’m sorry……I…….”

SEAN!!!

“Where am I…..I’m not dead, I can hear, but I can’t see anything….Whats that beeping….Wait, I hear crying….Lucy?”

~Are you sure you will be alright~

Yes, and thank you for your help, if you hadn’t called that ambulance….

~You should thank yourself. It was your CPR that kept him alive till the paramedics got there. You must really care for him.~

Well, I mean…..Yeah I do, but more as a…..(smiles) Guardian.

~Well I will leave you two alone then.~

Sean….I’m not sure if you can hear me, but please… pull through…..I couldn’t look at myself if you died…..not for me, not after you’ve done so much. I have always had trouble connecting with people, and this is why….they always end up hurt or end up leaving me one way or another……Please…..don’t go……not you too. They say you will most likely recover from the injury and…the coma, they just don’t know when. Well don’t you worry…I will come visit every day until you do….. I tried to tell the others about what happened, but none of them believed me or cared…..they think I’m just trying to get attention. At least I know, I can watch after them and you. Thank you….for everything.

She leans in and kisses my forehead…I may not be able to speak, but I can always muster up a smile. She sees this and sheds a tear, not in sadness, but in joy as she leaves.

Outside the hospital.

-I don’t want anything ruining my plans, tonight we end him-

:I don’t think that’s necessary the guy was bleeding out and now he is in a coma…:

-I wonder about you, I don’t think you’re on our side. You know what happens to my enemies.-

:No…its nothing like that, I mean the guys out of commission, besides that hospital is heavily secured. Do you want to get thrown in jail and lose your chance at revenge.:

-Alright, I guess your right. Now I remember why I keep you around, what you lack in strength you make up in smarts.-

As the others leave Augustus looks back at the hospital, lost in thought.

:I hope he does pull through….for their sake.:


To be continued?

Hope you enjoyed it.

Notes: The whole gang leader killing a friend thing really happened, police eventually arrested him after he killed two people in a rich gated community, but after two years he is back out on the street again.

Character Specs:

All characters except the stranger and myself are copyright of Veronica “Taeshi” Vera

Those characters were Lucy, Augustus and the Rapecat dude and his dog thug from the confrontation chapter.

The stranger was a Tabby Cat of age 35: Female

My Character:
Name: Sean
Species: Maned Wolf (Fox on Stilts)
Age: 20
Height: 6’ 03” (Yes I really am that tall)
Weight: 230lbs
Physical attributes: Broad shoulders, athletic body (Soccer 13 years in a row), Dark Brown/Black hair, Hazel eyes, etc.
May post character drawing….

Nice job bro, sorry about the coma. Lolz

Thanks, and I could use a good coma to catch up on sleep.

The action scene is a little fast-paced.

Have you ever been in a fight?

No, so what?

A real fight is fast paced because it occurs in real life and not a scripted movie.

I prefer movies.

I suggest Sherlock Holmes then, it even has a slow motion breakdown of a fight.

Ah Sherlock Holmes, now there is a heroic man of brilliance to admire.

I actually enjoyed Sherlock Holmes and would love for all fights to be in slow motion.

I think that would get annoying after awhile, although it would most likely resolve in world piece.

Holmes here

I told you not to go wandering into that mystery thread.

Sorry, Lucy didn’t accept my apology yet.

I… Just… Ummm… Wow?

I don’t know where to start…

Ok, maybe first with what Stereotypical Critic said… The fight scene WAS a little quick… I HAVE been in fights. Plenty of them. I know how fast they move. But what’s real and what’s entertaining are two different things. It’s not so much that the fight is over fast. It’s that it’s not paced particularly well when you read it here.

Why are there little to no descriptions of what’s happening? Just dialogue. It’s kind of weird to read… And sometimes you put quotation marks around a character speaking… Sometimes you don’t… Sometimes it’s around one of the few moments of description… It’s very confusing. You should pick a method and stick to it. Preferably one that makes sense.

Finally… The story itself is… Bad? I don’t really know of a nicer way to put it… You started out strong by having Lucy be… Well, Lucy. Which is more than I can say for some fan stuff I’ve encountered. But after hearing one of the most convoluted and worrisome story’s from someone who just confessed to be stalking her and her friends during their most private moments, she immediately accepts this as a good thing and then decides to let him in past her defenses? And then after he is seriously hurt during the fight, she reacts like one of her best friends is going to die? This just plain seems wrong. For one thing, she doesn’t just up and accept anyone that quickly. This is a mistake that many people make for some reason… But besides that. If Lucy had reacted badly to this, rather than just accepting it, I might find it believable… So I guess that’s something to think about.

I mean… Usually there’s something positive I can contribute to the flow of the story… But I just can’t see anything to be perfectly honest. It’s one big self insert Gary Stu story.

Oh! I stand corrected. I liked how you used pre-egsisting villains, rather than dredging up someone we know nothing about. That was a nice touch. And I personally think you got Augustus mostly right… Though I think he probably would have been craftier to avoid his boss catching on to his unwillingness to kill.

I don’t know… If you think you’ve got an interesting story to tell, keep telling it. I’ll try and be as constructive as I can with any criticisms…

Thanks for the feedback, I wanted to avoid the standard script of Lucy:…. Augustus:…., but that does make it rather confusing. Each character has there own style of quotations and so to clarify: Lucy had no quotations, I had Quotations, Rapecat dude had the (-) quotations, Augustus had the ( quotations and the stranger had the (squiggle type) quotation. As for details: I worked on it during intermittent periods of work today, so I agree I could have taken more time.

I think I will declare this as a teaser and put some serious effort into the revisión. Thanks again.

I’ll be very interested to see what you come up with

If you intend to use such a unique style of writing as to distinguish each character with special quotation markings, that’s fine. But it may be prudent to warn the reader in some way first ^^;

@Taeshi: Does the Rapecat dude have a name??? I can’t remember/find it.

Alright then Rapecat shall remain his name for now.