Bittersweet Candy Bowl

Granted
Cryokinesis: the ability to manipulate cold or ice with one’s mind
However you go into a depression from knowing this because you realize that it’s a useless fact, and you don’t really know anything of importance.

I wish I could kill with a thought.

Granted, but you then think “I wonder if it would kill me to ponder my own death”, and then die because you thought of your own death.

I wish I had the power to kill a yak, from 200 yards away… with mind bullets!

Granted: the mind bullets come from your mind but you have to fire them from your urethra like highly-pressurized kidney stones.

I wish I had a pool noodle and also a pool to put it in and some clean water to put in the pool and a house to put the pool behind and an attractive, intelligent female harem between the ages of 18 and 28 to keep in the house and sometimes the pool and also a lot of money to afford all of this.

Granted: But all the women look like Icarus.

I wish I had a bazooka gun.

(@Jerk I was ninja’d, stupid wii is a bitch to reply with)Granted, you get it all through ties to the mob, unfortunately you now have a price on your head. you stepped on the wrong toes on the way up.

I wish I was pyrokinetic.
(Not hard to figure out what that is if you look at the cryokinetic post)

Granted: Congrats, your brain is now on fire.

I wish I had a cool gang to fight the mob.

(Sorry JJ )

Granted: but they all get killed by the mob and you lose and die.

I wish my harem were sexually attractive again and did not look like Icaras in any way.

Not granted, make a different wish

I wish that someone cheers you up and that this wish don’t get broked.

Granted: I feel better now, but it is only temporary.

i wish I felt better for a prolong period of time.

@Leaving a comment: Try taking a walk or a run, helps me to take my mind off of things
I wish I had a job that pays

Granted: you are a whore.

I wish LaComi felt better for a prolonged period of time. :|

Granted: But then I get eaten by a cat.

I wish this thread would stop getting depressing.

Granted, but the only way that happens is you ODing on antidepressants. you die.

I wish i would stop killing people off for their wishes.

Granted. You randomly kill people for no reason.

I wish my internet got fixed already =( gprs sux

Granted, It’s fixed, but it takes an hour to load the smallest page

I wish I could breathe underwater

Granted, but then you will be eat by a mutation of a cat-fish and a shark.

I wish i can find the nirvana

Granted: they’re in the entertainment section of Wal-mart.

I wish I could stay awake forever and not ever have to sleep and not get sick from it and also a delicious sandwich might be nice.

Granted, but the sandwhich is made from cat, so other cats eated you for revenge.

I wish that Ray William Johnson didn’t make crappy youtube videos based around the idea of “Hey look! I’m describing this video and pointing out the obvious and then making the most obvious retarded jokes in order to get over a gazillion subscribers! AMIPOPULARYET!?”

Granted, but then the youtube sensation Fred gets all of Ray William Johnson’s gallizion viewers,and then Fred’s viewers will lose all of their brain cells from watching him.

I wish that the bugs would leave me alone when I go outside.

Granted, you are attacked by birds instead.

I wish that I had a scanner and tablet.

Granted. They’re evil.

I wish for the ability to shapeshift into a wolf at will. (I think I know what the break will be)

Granted: you’re a female omega wolf and everyone can rape you as they please.

I wish for the heat death of the universe.

@ Jerk: Granted, but you will be the first thing that die, and then another universe is created and everybody else re spawns, except you.

I wish i can have a very painful death, and nobody remember me.

Granted but your death was at the hands of an advanced alien race. No one remembers you because the aliens destroyed the world after they killed you.

I wish that everyone in the world had a friend.

Granted: But their ‘friends’ are actually clones that want to kill them and take over their lives. They succeed and everything continues normally.

I wish I knew why we can’t be friends.

Granted: BECAUSE PEOPLE HATE YOU

I wish I could control matter at a molecular level.

D: Why?!

Sorry La Comie, we don’t hate you, but I had to break your wish somehow.

We love you Commie, don’t be sad (even if the Abbey’s smiley is cool). Just breaking wishes, it’s like a business…nothing personal here

@MiwAuturu: Granted, but you make a mistake trying to lift a truck filled with plutonium and make a chain reaction and the explosion is so big that destroy a whole city. Now human race want you dead, they chase you. They kill you and make you little pieces and they give your body pieces to cats, and at the en of the day you’ll get eated by many cats.

I wish i can be LaCommie’s Friend

Granted, but everyone else becomes jealous and the eat your heart to gain the power of La Commie friendship.

i wish that you would read this wish.

granted as well, except that now you’re launched into the endless sea of endlessness and redundancy for making an inescapable fact.

I wish that by saying MikeXSandy, I would get jumped by all the MikeXLucy shippers and assassinated.

Granted: But beforehand you are tortured in a hideous and painful way.

I wish for the keyboard on my laptop to work again.

…except that after it starts working, Mike and Lucy (see? I learn!) decide to have a romp on it, covering it in… sticky stuff.

I wish that Lucy would get a bazooka.

Granted.She vaporizes you after fucking mike

I wish this ninja would not get wish’d

Granted: But that makes little sense ad everyone takes turns beating you endlessly.

I don’t want to wish for anything I have friendship, what more could I need? :’D

But to keep it going, I wish I didn’t have to fix dinner tonight.

Granted.You are killed by a serial killer and thus do not have to make dinner

I wish .

Granted, you wish for a period, and you get one. then you discover it is usless and your life means nothing.

i wish that Sue could get in on some of the love.

…a wish upon a staaaaaaaar~…” sang Lucy (thus you are granted your wish), before she was abducted by Final Fantasy Cat so that Thug Cat (from Confrontation) could have his horrible way with her.

I wish that Mike would go to save her.

Granted, but on the way to save her, he sees Sandy and abandons his mission to have a happy life with her.

i wish that i could read Taeshi’s mind at a distance.

except that you read EVERYTHING in Taeshi’s mind at once, which means you suddenly download her entire life up to the point of access. The experience breaks your brain and you become a vegetable.

I wish that non-lethal but massive explosions were a regular part of my life.

Granted: even without your skin, you and all your loved ones are still technically alive.

I wish to kill God and then become Him and then unbreak my wish.

@ Dr. Burple: Granted, but she only thinks in Souppy and you find it boring and you die from brain cancer due to your superpower, that was actually triggered by a brain tumor.

I wish i could meet every person in the forums without die, or causing any harm to they, they’re families, myself or another in the whole universe.

@bambalooza: Granted, but soon you’ll get bored of them and you commit suicide.

@ Jerk: Granted, but as soon you be a mortal again, a lot of religious fans crucifies you for killing god.

Same wish as previous post, random ip so couldn’t make the edit. My apologies.

Granted, they’re so boring in real life you fall asleep and wake up wondering if it was a dream.

I wish I knew the meaning of life.

Granted, you learn that life has no meaning and commit suicide.

i wish that i could shoot yogurt out of my armpits.

Granted, but then Billy, Mandy, AND the Grim Reaper team up on you and yell:
“HEY!! NO RIP OFFS!!!” And SCYTHE your ass!!

I wish that I had an infinite supply of top-of-the-line Chinese Oolong tea available on demand.

Granted, but all you can drink is Chinese Oolong tea. and the Chinese kill you for taking all their tea.

i wish that it was Friday.

Granted, you wake up in a dirty alleyway with a splitting hedache. It’s Friday, two weeks from now, and you have no idea what happened, but you have a strange scar on your lower back. (lolmissingkidney)

I wish I had the money from Dr. Burple’s stolen kidney

Granted, but i hunt you down and kill you horribly for stealing my kidney.

i wish i had my kidney back.