Bittersweet Candy Bowl

Granted: unfortunately it’s in pesos. Good news! You have a life-time supply of toilet paper!

I wish I could have unbreakable wishes. :|

Granted, but due to the variability of time, they become broken before you wished for them to be unbreakable.

I wish that made more sense.

It makes more sense, but only to your broken mind. But don’t fret, the local asylum is a very comfortable place to live…

…although I still wish I could escape it

Congrats! You escaped the asylum!
Unfortunately you ran into me and I am still cross about how you told me people hated me. So I kill you.
But wait, it seems like you are back in your padded room. Huh.

I wish I had to ability to sleep for very short periods of time but be rested.

Granted, but you are awake all the time, driving your friends and family to death by sleep deprivation. and then you get haunted for the rest of your life, which isnt long, because you are eated by a cat.

i wish that i hadnt made that joke again.

Granted, Paulson is haunted to death and you somehow succeed at breaking the wish anyway, damn you. So you are eated by a cat.

I wish for unbreakable wishes.

Granted, but everyone kills you for wishing such an obvious thing.

i wish, i wish for a… new laptop.

Granted, but you drop it on the way home and the warranty won’t cover it

I wish I had more colour in my padded cell

Granted! It’s red, from your blood, from you bashing your head against the wall so much you start bleeding from the ears and eyes and become blind.

I wish that wish wasn’t so morbid.

Granted: you go catatonic from pure unadulterated joy. The downside is that they have to feed you with a tube and you don’t control your bowel movements.

I wish weeoooweeeooo I’m a ambulance!

granted, the driver is drunk, and drives off a cliff. you laying pieces, rusting at the bottom of the ocean.

i wish my warranty would cover the laptop that i dropped.

Granted: But you lose the ensuing court battle and have to pay for it and a new laptop.

I wish Transformers would hurry up and come to earth and be my friends.

they do buyt they step on your house first

i wish my laptop had working wireless

@ LaCommie: Granted, but one day you discover that they weren’t real transformers, they where all the forum people disguised as the transformers and they will be with you forever, even if you hate them they will love you back. (Actually…granted…where is the break? they’re nor REAL transformers)

I wish for logic don’t rule space-time, and we can make our own logic and live in a perfect world, and when that happens, i die in the worst horrible way possible and then, my pieces get eated by a cat

Granted, but you eated a poisonous cat

Oh, and I wish for world peace./

@Multiplier: Granted, but when it starts to work, your whole laptop explodes and so your hands explode too and you will never be able to touch a computer or laptop due to your hand condition and a terrible fear to computers.

Same wish as above

@Gabriel Silva: Granted, but when the world is in peace, a race of super cats grow and eat every human in the world, starting with you.

I wish my work’s PC didn’t change IP address so often so i can edit my own comments.

Granted, but every time you close the your browser, it deletes your cookies, effectively doing the same thing.

i wish i could get this song out of my head -> http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=g0Cbfm1PStA&videos=BJ9lwBYTvFE&playnext=5

Granted…

MONSTER, HOW SHOULD I FEEL!?

I wish I had my own internet connection.

granted, you now are the proud owner of the only internet connection on earth. everyone tries to kill you so they can use it. but you survive, only to realize that your life has no meaning, and you kill yourself by eating a grenade.

i wish that someone could answer this question correctly.
“is the answer no?”

Granted, but you are not satisfied with “maybe.”

I wish I was great at every video game, but also not a conceited jerk.

Granted, but now no one wants to play with you. Even if you are not a conceited jerk, they still hate loosing every time.

I wish I was more attentive to important details around me.

Granted: In fact, you are so attentive that you can’t block anything out. You feel every little thing and soon go crazy by the simple feel of your clothes.

I wish someone another wish was made.

granted,but it will be made by me
and i’m a bad person.

i wish smoking was cool again.

Granted, as long as you’re smoking with your eyes.

I wish my dad didn’t smoke.

….
I can’t really break that wish without sounding like an asshole, so I’ll just say “Granted ”
Ummm…

I wish that life hadn’t killed the dream I dreamed.

Granted, instead it kills you directly.

And just because you couldn’t I’ll break my own wish by making my dad an alcoholic drug abuser instead.

I wish I could control time.

NOT GRANTED.

I wish this wish would not be granted and a blackhole would come eat this thread and it would never be ressurected ever

Granted, but you fuck up the time-space continuum so badly that you no longer exist because you’re parents never met.

I wish that I could blow up a skyscraper without ANY consequences of ANY KIND.

Granted, but you never ACTUALLY blow it up - you just could.

I wish that Summer would never end.

granted, but all the crops would die due to insolation and heat, so people would starve to the death

I wish i could reborn as a monocellular being

……Granted. This wish needs not be broken. :S

I wish for a plate of teriyaki salmon.

granted, but you would be intollerant to the ingredients.

I wish i didn’t get ninja’ed so often (or people get edit their post so fast i can’t check back)

Granted, you will only get ninja’d once more in your life. when you least expect it, a REAL ninja. then you will die and get eated by a cat.

i wish i could play the guitar.

Granted, but then you become famous as hell but also sad, lonely, and abuse alcohol/drugs (stereotyping musicians lol sorry), dying at age 40 from cocaine overdose.

I wish that it was impossible to overdose on any narcotic.

Granted: demand for previously prohibited substances skyrockets and the already-established drug lords wage a full-scale war against each other that for a monopoly on production that escalates into World War III.

I want to go home. I hope my sandwich is still edible.

You are allowed to return home, but apparently the place you call by that very name has been taken by an evil alien named N. Oxide, who has turned it into a great parking lot. Everybody who lives there are *ahem* concrete slaves.

I want to break the sandwich wish too, but I cannot bring myself to do it. Eat and be joyful ^_^

My wish? I wish I could see the rain.

There is no way in Hell I am breaking a wish by ILB. ._.

But we’re not in Hell yet, are we? ^_^

(Well if you won’t then I will have to damn myself in order for the continuation of the game.)

Granted, but it rains so much that eventually it causes floods and destroys your house, which causes you to never want to see the rain again.

I wish to not receive hate for breaking that wish.

EDIT: Ninja’d by Boomer.

Granted, but now everyone loves you so much, ILB gets jealous and kills you.

I wish there was no such thing as the boob rule.

Granted, but it is replaced by the liver and kidney rule and physical evidence must be put forth.

(Me? Kill someone? ^_^)


I wish I knew how to play the harp (and, in continuation, I wish I had a harp).

Granted, but you become so good at playing your newly acquired harp that you attract many suitors that will pester and obsess over you constantly, driving you insane.

I wish for a universal remote.

Granted. It controls you, too. All by itself.


I wish I knew sadness more closely than I do. ^_^

((Dude, no. You engaged my writing drive! Prepare for horror!))

At first, your wish is not granted. Confused, you go about your life as usual, thinking that the forums have failed you. Then suddenly, your girlfriend breaks up with you for a bullshit reason that makes absolutely no sense (alternatively, your crush begins to hate you ala LucyXMike). Horrified and Angry, you drive home after in tears, recklessly passing car after car. Suddenly, there is a loud BANG and you feel the world spinning around you before falling unconscious.
You wake up in your completely totaled vehicle, somehow still alive, and realize you’ve been in a horrifying traffic accident. Somehow, you are able to stumble out of the car and look around. What you see makes you want to commit suicide. You’ve hit two cars, one carrying your parents and any siblings you have(they were off on some family function you’d forgotten about). The other is the car of your best friend or friends. All are dead.
After processing the death scene and other various things the police require you to do, you go back to your empty home, only to find it literally empty. You’ve been robbed of everything that you own, your only possessions the clothes on your back.

Congratulations, you now know sadness VERY closely.

i wish Bambalooza had made a wish.

Granted but he writes another wall of text that I don’t read because only people who don’t know ILB could break her wish.

I wish I had some corn flakes.

Granted, they are full of razor blades though.

I wish I had made a wish in my last post on this thread.