Bittersweet Candy Bowl

Granted automatically.

But you will be eated by a cat.

I wish I had the ability to teleport.

you teleport into a wall and die.

i wish i could play Left 4 Dead 2 right now.

Granted, but you get transported INTO L4D2 and then are eaten by zombies.

I wish that 12:00:00 would arrive sooner…..

Granted, 12:00:00 arrives sooner for YOU. no one else is affected, and you age rapidly and die.

i wish that people knew that the enemies in L4D and L4D2 are not zombies.

Granted, but soon after, another virus sweeps the nation in L4D3 and they all actually become zombies, and no one will believe you.

I wish I never had to sleep.

Granted, but after a week you decide that you don’t mind sleeping as much as you currently do, and then sleep regularly by choice.

I wish I could use CTRL+Z in real life situations.

granted, but it only undos stuff YOU do, you dont remember making the mistake, and everyone else does.

i wish this game could be played till one of you guys dies.

granted, but your favourite forumite dies.

i wish i was that the earth would finally give up on humanity and kill everyone. painfully.

Granted, but you are reincarnated as an alien on Htrae, which is remarkably like Earth.

I wish I knew what the next 3 lottery results would be.

granted, but you would end on a deserted island. have fun.

I wish i can have a D7

Granted, but it spontaneously explodes in your hands, killing you.

I wish that I could write a fanfiction coherently.

granted, but everyone hates it.

i wish i could manipulate the space time contineum

Granted, you accidently destroy all of reality.

i wish to for Spratic Zoom to tell me if he knows anything about Our-City.

NINJA’D, BURPLE

He does, but you lose your hearing right before that.


I wish that Jerk wasn’t Ninja’d.

granted, but you are ninja’d instead

i wish i could rule the world, and bring happiness and prosperity to all the lands. through military means of course.

Granted. But you are corrupted by various things, including drugs and money, and the world plunges into an eternal civil war, during which an unwatched natural disaster devastates your hometown. The world burns. Thanks a lot, hero.

I wish for a kitten.

Granted, (oh this is so obvious, i almost hate to do it) you are eated by the kitten.

i wish that i was not ninja’d by Jerk.

Granted, but your face becomes

I wish for a wish that cannot be broken by the users on this forum.

Granted, your wish is broken by Souppy, who deletes your post.

i wish my new Abbeyface was happier looking.

Granted, but someone punches him in the face, now he’s sad again

I wish for green!

You get a grumpy old Mr. Henry Green. He hits you with his cane.

I wish for people to just settle on IRC or Skype and end any and all confusion now.

granted, they settle on irc. but then someone complains so they move back to skype, and the process repeates itself.

i wish i had 3 more wishes

Granted, i then steal your wishes to wish the wish below three times.

i wish that i had a gun (therefore, i have three guns)

You have no ammo.


I wish I could find the IRC chat page that was on this site somewhere.

granted, their all walter ppk’s though.

i wish i was more awesomer!

you become so awesome that God kills you for being too awesome.

i wish for ammo for my three guns.

Looks like somebody got Ninja’d by a Ninja

I wish that Ninja would be Ninja’d by another Ninja immediately after he Ninja’d me.

Wait, Bambalooza, my girlfriend? Now that is a confusing thought. ^_^

Oh, and two wishes to break? Better get to it, then.

1. You receive ammunition for your guns. But sadly, you forgot that your weapons are made for shooting water, not bullets, and a large army is waiting on your doorstep (think Shooter).
2. Granted. They absorb each other and become a Superninja.

I wish life was like a box of chocolates. ^_^

Granted, your life is now like a half eaten box of chocolate liquors.

i wish this thread was more active.

You lose track of what is happening. ^_^

I wish I knew how refrigerators work.

(You can have a girlfriend, ILB. It’s almost legal now.)

(That doesn’t mean I want one. ^_^)

Granted but now everybody who has a broken refrigerator comes to you for help.

I wish ILB had a girlfriend

(*high fives Junior Boomer* Thank you for this. xD)

Granted, but apparently the perfect tense implies that this was long ago and it didn’t last more than a day.

(Why do you insist on assigning me this gender ^_^
Oh, I know what you mean. But still )

I wish woodchucks could chuck much wood.

(Curse grammatical errors )

Granted but the wood chucks chuck so much wood that they cause a global wood shortage.

I wish I didn’t get carsick when I am driven long distances

Granted. You get seasick instead.

I wish for a long blunt stick covered in seaweed. ^_^

I smash your head open with a long, blunt stick covered in seaweed.

I wish I had a new jacket.

You get a brand new straight-jacket. It only has a little blood on it, but don’t worry: that’s your blood.

I wish RAAAAAWR I’M A DINOSAUR

Granted but then BOOOOOOM a meteorite crashes into the planet and causes your extinction.

I wish there were no such thing as short shorts for men.

but they made a revolution y

wish lucy wasn,t mean

Granted, Lucy becomes the new Sandy. Sandy then becomes Lucy.

I wish Mike would hurry up and get with Sandy already.

Granted. ^^ Sandy comes to visit Mike, but as they are walking together, a Lucy Hater infected with Yellow Fever mistakes Sandy for Lucy, and shoots her in the head.

I wish all these ads would go away.

Not Granted.go search the forum for why they are here or ask taeshi or suitcase.also you could just use adblocker

i wish that person hadnt made a dumb wish

Granted
but they did.

I wish i had a better computer.

Granted, but your computer breaks in a very “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” sort of way, the result of which also somehow breaks your original computer. You are forced to use a cellphone for your computing needs.

I wish for a greenhouse.

Granted, you get a green cardboard box. by some odd coincidence, your house burns to the ground, and you are forced to live out of the box. you now have a Green House.

i wish i could have broken that wish with one word.

Broken.

I wish I had immensely controllable telepathy.