Bittersweet Candy Bowl

It’s a good thing there aren’t any bees or we would be screwed

Nope.
More bees

Comi’s going to win. :|

Sorry.

*villain*
HA! they are distracted! now to enact my-
what the hell?!?
BEES?!?
NO GET AWAY!
SHITSHITSHITHSHITSHITHSHTIHSIHIRHIHISHITISTHISTHIH TISTI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…
…
…
well, now that that’s over with, time to enact my MASTER PLAN!
*giant bottle of shaving cream the size of the moon floats into orbit*
excellent….
*giant razor the size of equal proportions to the shaving cream floats into orbit*
OH YEAH! YOUR ALL F*CKED NOW!!!!!!

*Glances to the sky* I’m sorry *Ninja we will have to finish this later.

*Calling her team on the radio, when her three fist robot arrives she jumps in it and tips her hat to the ninja*

Tah, tah for now dearie! *smiles and flies away to defeat the villians.*

@Ace:Nope.
More Raid

@Jerk: I’ll never be able to bring myself to kill her.

@La Commie:

I don’t doubt your abilities, only your tactical sensibility.

*The Ninja hurries through the saloon to the bar. shoving the cowering bartender aside, he grabs all the Vodka, White Lightning, and other liquors with exceptionally high alcohol content. He then snatches up a few cleaning rags and runs up to the roof. Standing well back from the edge, he starts hurling Molotov cocktails over the side of the building at the precise angle required to have them land behind the rain barrel.*

You now have a flaming robot to defeat this evil villain.

Giant baby-faced sun is in position, aftershave lasers are on standby.

Prepare the space dog canon! Put the shield up and prepare to engage!

Roger, shields up, firing on your mark.

*villain*
hmm….it appears they want a fight…well i’ll give them one….
GO MY ARMY OF OVERLY PREPARED BOY SCOUTS!
*boy scouts*
YES SIR!
~they zoom off into the mesosphere~
target spotted, its on fire….APPLY WATER!
*villain*
this will be interesting….

*minion*
sir the portal is ready!
*villain*
good bye, giant robots, i leave you with this giant man eating cookie as a leaving gift….
~walks through the portal and it closes~
*minion*
RELEASE THE COOKIE!

~~((I am having WAY too much fun with this….))~~

the world watches in aw as a colossal pac-man shaped cookie descended onto their only saviors, along with 12,000,000 boy scouts (overly prepared)

~~((good night, someone take over my villainous duties while I’m gone? a third party please))~~

Counter with overly pushy Girl scouts!! Launch the dogs on that cookie and fire the after shave lasers……NOW!

Madam the cannons have stopped working! There appears to be cookies crumbs in the firing barrels!

Not to worry, launching giant glass of milk for sun baby to help finish the cookie.

As her beautiful assistant, I would have to kill you if you did.

I will shoot myself, kill God and rip a screaming, bleeding hole into this world as an Eldritch Abomination, in that order. I’m paraphrasing, of course.

*yawn*

Ugh. I command you to kill me. *rolls around*

Why do you wish death upon yourself?

Because I’m siiiiick

I just had the sudden urge to reply to all the threads in the BCB forum in such a way, so that they would be in alphabetical order.

I would murder you to death, Pyro, so help me.

do ya wanna help

…potentially. :|

*loads crossbow* I have a bad feeling about this

Don’t be a pussy. Just do it.

*shoots Jerk in the left kneecap shattering it, reloads* now you can’t walk, enjoy

*walks up behind (nameless) and grabs the crossbow* “nono, (nameless), you’re doing it all wrong” *shoots Jerk in stomach so his acids eat up the surrounding flesh. or something*

You both suck at this. *grabs the crossbow and shoots both of you in the genitals, then shoots himself through the brain*

Ooooh, yeah, you kind of preempted retaliation there, didnt you?

1. The point in the first place was to kill me.
2. Do I know you?

1. At which I fail, obviously
2. Nope

He is a Narwhal!!!



Don’t let him touch your balls!

Well…at least they stop Cthulhu eating you…

Its not a horn, its a satellite reciever! You know, for the internetz

It’s a colossal, razor-sharp brain cock.

Oh no, that’s a secondary function

Cock is not a function, but it has functions. Reproduction is the secondary function, second to, say, humiliating defeated enemies right in the face.

Jerk you are aware that my own crossbow can’t possibly hurt me right? Also how did you possibly shoot us in the first place? You grabbed an EMPTY crossbow and you have nothing to load it with. Finally it would take too much time to reload it before I could just punch you in the face. My logic wins out. So… *grabs crossbow back* I’m leaving before Jerk says ‘screw logic’ pulls out a gun and I end up dead for the third time *runs away*

@Jerk Good point! Although I shudder to consider what the ramifications of reproduction with a “colossal, razor-sharp brain cock” would be. For instance, HOW WOULD THAT WORK D:

@(nameless) So do I still have my genitals or not? Oh wait, that’s right, mine would’ve shattered the bolt on impact anyway since I’m a narwhal. With a brain cock. That’s razor-sharp

@Eggpie: Thanks to logic, you do, however seeing as I had reloaded Jerk still got shot in the stomach

Awesome. Logic is good.

@ (nameless): Ever seen the ending to the Hellsing anime? I did that, but possibly with semen. My amorphous metallic semen.

@ Eggpie: Vagina dentata. That’s how it’d work.

i indulge in dragonquest and return to check in and find brain cocks and toothed vaginas, glad to see the spirits still alive. carry on then

Speaking of the toothed vaginas, has anyone here seen the movie “Teeth”?

My magnificent imagination.

I don’t even want to know..

Well if you haven’t then DO NOT WATCH IT unless your into that kind of thing and you’re okay with seeing severed male genitalia.

No thank you, Jerk nearly gave me that experience firsthand

I surf the net looking for the most horrifying shit imaginable.

When I get on the internet that stuff finds me, I don’t even have to look for them.