Bittersweet Candy Bowl

You guys probably already know about the Darwin Awards, right? Accounts of people accidentally ending themselves in various (and often phenomenally) stupid ways?

This thread is all about posting your own hypothetical scenarios.

Example:



Umm…that’s really all there is to it.

That’s…actually kind of neat. You get the Jerk Seal of Approval.

One sure fire way to die… mess with Lucy.

I must admit this made me laugh.

Death by Lucy, not a good way to go
Right up their with the guy who though swatting a bug with an undetonated bombshell was a good idea…

Or the guy who tried to hide some of his meth lab ingredients in his pocket and the resulting explosion…well, you get the idea. Bye bye scrotum.

i was going to say that i have no idea what the fuck a darwin award is and that this is a shit idea for a thread but apparently this is hilarious and every1 knows about it i just didnt get da memo so ok

If you like stupid people doing fatal / sterilizing harm to themselves, you’ll like it.

i hate hearing or watching people hurt themselves so i guess ill hate this

Then you’ll hate it. I haven’t been there in years.

i doubt it cant be as mind numbingly stupid as jackass tho

yes it can

jackass is a fucking insult to humanity

My favorite was about the suicide bombers during Daylight Savings Time.

yeah i guessed what it was i just dont find that kind of thing funny at all
esp the genitals part

it sad and funny at the same time…

My empathy terminates pretty fast even without stupidity involving self-harm.

I demand more of those BCB Darwin award comics, DAMN I LAUGHED SO HARD DESMOND! (Of course I’m not serious but it would be nice)

My favorite was the one where some cops were chasing some gangsters in a car chase, and one of the gangsters tried to throw a grenade but instead threw the pin he pulled from the grenade.

Wait, that actually happened? I assumed it was just a joke. ^_^

If people are happy with the thread, I’m happy too.

@ Taeshi: Yeah, I totally forgot about the “not being able to reproduce” point. Thank you for correcting me on that. It’s been a while since I cracked one of the books. Too long, it seems.

@ Tayvin: If I get any more ideas, I guess I could post them. All I wanted to do with the mine was to get people to post their own (likely superior) stuff. I’m glad people seem to like it, though.

EDIT: Ah, that reminds me! To be clear about things, the dialogue in the example actually came from a Rifftrax video I watched. It seemed hilarious in context, then a few days later it and a few other things got into a mental traffic accident…which eventually resulted in this thread.

To clarify for some people, the darwin awards was a thing long before it was made into a movie.

Or I should say a movie was made about them.

my fave darwin award was a tie between the guy who was trying to show off to his gf by holding a rifle by the barrel and clubbing a chicken to death and the one where the gangster pulls the pin on a grenade but keeps his thumb on it to scare off drug dealers, and forgets to put it back in when he is leaving with it in his pocket

My personal favorite is the guy who blew a fuse in his pickup, and decided a bullet, which just happened to be the right size, would make a good replacement. Bye bye balls.