Bittersweet Candy Bowl

this had to be done. post your Chuck Norris ‘facts’ here.

Chuck Norris pities Mr. T.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. TWICE.

Chuck Norris has something on his shoe. It’s your face.

chuck norris one time made a chuck norris joke
but then i punched him in the face because those arent funny and hes human just like everyone else
then i went home and had some oreos
it was a good day

Once upon a time, there was a guy named chuck norris and he was in a whole bunch of b movies so everyone made a big deal out of him when there was nothing special about him so they made a bunch of chuck norris jokes that mocked the fact that there was nothing special about him by making him look awesome when he’s not and the obvious contrast was funny but then someone complained so another guy had to come along and write a big long post to describe and mock the entire evolution of this mess

once upon a time i didnt care because theyre still not funny

Long long ago in this very forum a man said that what is and isn’t funny is a matter of opinion and while you are free to share your own opinion, doing so more than three times in a half hour interval is really annoying, not that you did, but for future reference

once upon a time people did care about opinions on the internet
this was long long ago

Snooths. I’m pretty sure that was never ago.

they once made a chuck norris toilet paper,it was a big success and made alot of money.

i agree with *ninja.
snooths, stop being such a downer and let other people have thier fun, your oppinion does matter. but this is a thread for us to mock chuck norris. not mock the people mocking chuck norris.

chuck norris eats nails for breakfast… without milk.

STOP TAKING ME SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I’M BEING SARCASTIC FOR A REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you can see Chuck Norris, you have one second to live. if you cant see Chuck Norris, it’s already too late.

scientists have discuvered the power need to create the universe at ~1 chuck norris round-house kick.

chuck norris can play the violin with a piano.

On behalf of Texas, you’re welcome.

Sorry for Bush, by the way.

Chuck norris can slam revolving doors…

Chuck norris doesn’t have hair on his balls, cause hair doesn’t grow on steel.

I have four testicles. Two for reproduction, and two for slapping my foes in the face.

Chuck Norris can teach David general relativity. And Kizuna’s name.

But when it was new it was funny, was it not?

Whenever someone makes a Chuck Norris joke, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a kitten in the face.

Billy Mays killed Chuck Norris, then used OxiClean to get rid of the blood stains.

EDIT: And by “killed,” I of course mean “sold him a full execution, with an extended warranty, all for five easy payments of $29.99.”

I am Chuck Norris, Spartacus and Jesus Christ.

Also Batman.

Or a hobo on crack.

I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in sexiness.

I rather fancy the idea that Chuck Norris does have another fist behind his beard. ^_^

Inb4 awkward fist fetish.

Oh wait, it’s Chuck Norris - that makes it perfectly ok.

(+1 kicked kitten)

I am frustrated by the frustration that causes the frustrated life in what a lot of frustrated people live in frustration in where the frustrated families try to survive, but they are frustrated by the economic problems and the frustrating global relations, and so they frustratingly try to shoot themselves, but for they’re frustration the bullet got frustrated and didn’t work.

And also chuck norris got frustrated by reading this and roundhouse kicks his own face.

Oh no, Spradic, whatever must you think of me? I merely find the thought… endearing. ^_^

chuck norris once came to my boxing gym. i made a chuck norris joke and he kicked my ass.
this is not a joke. he really did. his brother aaron pulled him off me

also he was a world champion fighter for like, 17 straight years. there really was something special about him.

Chuck norris wants a foot job from daisy

One time, Chuck Norris went back in time to fight himself.

Chuck Norris won.

Bruce Lee > Chuck Norris = Fact

Tis true, Bruce Lee did kill Chuck Norris in Way of the Dragon.

but chuck was the world champ


he is still very strong.

Oh no don’t get me wrong, after Bruce Lee killed him, he rose from the dead, absorbing all the badassery that Bruce kicked into hims and thus transformed into God himself.

Don’t we have any plausible Chuck Norris facts? For instance, he has a beard? ^_^

He has another fist UNDER his beard…

Chuck Norris’s tears can cure cancer…

Too bad he’s never cried.

Not… quite what I was looking for, but fair enough. ^_^

Chuck Norris can relate with ILB.

He also likes boys.

/BURN.

Hee. ^_^

Chuck Norris can make a girl climax by pointing at her and saying “booya”

there are no steroids in baseball, just players chuck norris has breathed on.

Rainbows occur when chuck norris round house kicks Richard Simmons.

Actually, I quite liked that last one, Flash. But poor Richard ^_^

Chuck Norris ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did as it was told

The chief export of Chuck Norris is PAIN!