Bittersweet Candy Bowl

Links? Lyrics? Names? your favorite filthy songs!

I’ll start this off with one of my own personal favorites. I’ve onlt ever heard my friend sing it, so some of the lyrics may be out of order, since he’s not actually sure, but I put them in the most logical order.

Barnacle Bill the Sailor Man

Who’s that kno-king at the door?
Who’s that kno-king at the door?
Who’s that kno-king at the door?
Said the fairly young maiden

Well

Open the door you Fucking hoar
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor
Open the door you Fucking hoar
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor

Shall we Go - to the dance?
Shall we Go - to the dance?
Shall we Go - to the dance?
Said the Fairly young maiden

Well

Fuck the dance and off with your pants
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor
Fuck the dance and off with your pants
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor

What if my parents - should come home?
What if my parents - should come home?
What if my parents - should come home?
Said the fairly young maiden

Well

I’ll fuck your mom and blow your dad
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor
I’ll fuck your mom and blow your dad
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor

What’s that thing - between your legs?
What’s that thing - between your legs?
What’s that thing - between your legs?
Said the fairly young maiden

Well

That’s my pole to stick yup your hole
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor
That’s my pole to stick yup your hole
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor

What’s that running - down your leg?
What’s that running - down your leg?
What’s that running - down your leg?
Said the fairly young maiden

Well

That’s the shot that missed your twat
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor
That’s the shot that missed your twat
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor

What if it - should be a girl?
What if it - should be a girl?
What if it - should be a girl?
Said the fairly young maiden

Well

We’ll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
I’m Barnacle Bill the Sailor
We’ll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
I’m Barnacle Bill the Sailor

What if it - should be a boy?
What if it - should be a boy?
What if it - should be a boy?
Said the fairly young maiden

Well

We’ll send him to sea and he’ll fuck like me
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor
We’ll send him to sea and he’ll fuck like me
I’m Barnacle Bill the sailor

This song is sufficiently filthy. Google the lyrics if you don’t believe me.

“Sir Psycho,” Red Hot Chili Peppers.

The nigga song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWxoSeqDddU

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, I’m 100% nigga

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, I’m 200% nigga

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why do police hate niggas

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, they hate us cuz our dicks is bigga

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why do you call yourself a nigga

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, cuz I’m a mothing fucking nigga

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why you drink so much beer

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, I don’t drink beer, I drink my own malt liquor

Because I’m a nigga

Mother fucking nigga man I aint no african american shit, fuck that, I’m a nigga, I aint mixed, I’m nigga

N I G G A Nigga

You already know

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why you eat so much chicken

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why wont you make in my kitchen

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why you call them hoe’s bitches

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, cuz them hoe’s is bitches

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why you stay in the hood

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, cuz I don’t like livin by peckerwoods

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why you aint got no job

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, seven dollars
an hour wont feed my dog

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why yo pants gotta sag

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, cuz hand-me-downs all a nigga had

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, why you scared to go to court

shit, cuz that judge looked just like the motherfucker that our ass on the boat, and made me a nigga

You better not cum speedy Gonzales
Like you usually do
Just when I’m getting Started,
You’re already through
If you need a distraction
Try pretending you’re in mass
Instead of fantasizing
That this is Tina Turner’s ass

Speedy Gonzales
Pleases don’t Cum yet
I’m only on the foreplay
And you’re on the cigarette

Hé hé hé proceed to cum quickly
I did.

La LAAAAAAAAA la la la la la la



… When Telus was using the actual speedy Gonzales song in their commercials, you have no idea how much I laughed every time they showed. There’s more to this song, but damned if I can remember it.

@Jerk
So explicitly dirty that most of the phrases were cut off entirely from Rock Band in an attempt to censor it.

S.E.X. By Nickelback

You know there’s a dirty word
Never gonna say it first
No, it’s just a thought
That never crosses my mind

Maybe in the parking lot
Better bring your friend along
Better rock together
Than just one at a time

S is for the simplety
E is for the ecstasy
X is just to mark the spot
‘Cause that’s the one you really want

Yes, sex is always the answer, it’s never a question
‘Cause the answer’s yes, oh the answer’s yes
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question
Then it’s always yes, yeah

I’m loving what you wanna wear
I wonder what’s up under there
Wonder if I’ll ever have it
Under my tongue

I’ll love to try to set you free
I love you all over me
Love to hear the sound you make
The second you’re done

S is for the simplety
E is for the ecstasy
X is just to mark the spot
‘Cause that’s the one you really want

Yes, sex is always the answer, it’s never a question
‘Cause the answer’s yes, oh the answer’s yes
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question
Then it’s always yes

Yeah, yeah, yeah
(Yes)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

S is for the simplety
E is for the ecstasy
X is just to mark the spot
‘Cause that’s the one you really want

Yes, sex is always the answer, it’s never a question
‘Cause the answer’s yes, oh, the answer’s yes
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question
Then it’s always yes, yeah

Yes, sex is always the answer, it’s never a question
‘Cause the answer’s yes, oh, the answer’s yes
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question
Then it’s always yes

Yeah, yeah, yeah
(Yes)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
(Yes)
Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah
(Yes)
Yeah, yeah

There was an old farmer who lived on a rock
He sat in the meadow just shaking his
Fist at some boys who were down by the crick

Their feet in the water, their hands on their
Marbles and play things at a half passed four
There came a young lady who looked like a

Pretty, young preacher
She sat on the grass, she pulled up her dress
And she showed them her

Ruffles, and laces and white fluffy duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children, so they would not spit

While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
Refuse, and litter from yesterday’s hunt
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her

Eyes at the fellow, down by the dock
He looked like a man with a sizable
Home in the country, with a big fence out front

If he asked her politely, she’d show him her
Little pet dog, who was subject to fits
And maybe she’d let him grab hold of her

Small, tender hands with a movement so quick
And then she’d bend over and suck on his
Candy, so tasty made of butterscotch

And then he’d spread whip cream all over her
Cookies that she had left out on her shelf
If you think this is dirty

You can go fuck yourself.

Lol. Arrogant Worms.

Fack by Eminem

Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I’m gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack faaaack
Fuck I am
I am,
I’m going to cum
I’m cumming

I never seen no shit like this
This bitch can twist like a damn contortionist
Condom on my dick
Of course it is
This bitch don’t know what abortion is
So I can’t cum in her
Fucks like a porn star
Looks like jenna
Fuck I’m gonna
Cum
I think my rubbers coming off
But oh it’s so fuckin wet and soft
Fuck I’m gonna start letting off
I’m squirting and she’s not getting off
And she’s on top
I’m gonna fucking, oh god
Oh don’t do that
Don’t stop
Stop, don’t, I don’t mean don’t stop
Ah Wait a minute
Oh ohh fack
I’m gonna fucking cum

Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I’m gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack fack
Fack I am
I am,
I’m going to cum
I’m cumming

Oh wow oh aww
I need a cigarette now
oh I’m so fucking hot and your so fuckin hot
Oh my God
I wanna facking fack
No, not fuck
I said fack
F A C K F A C K
fack fack facking freak me
oh yeah girl c baby
They call me mr freaky
Lets call your sister threeway
Have some threesome
Me so horny
And your such a fuckin babe
I wanna go down on u
Fack u shave
Oh god damn
here I go again
I’m gonna cum, I am

Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I’m gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack fack
Fack I am
I am,
I’m going to cum
I’m cumming

Ok I’m done
I already came twice
You ain’t gonna make me cum
I’m all out of gas
Not so fast
Ah Your finger just went in my ass’
Ahh that hurts take it out now
Oh wait a minute put it back in
In in in
This don’t mean I’m gay, I don’t like men
I like boobs
Boobs boobs
Now See that gerbil
Grab that tube
Shove it up my butt
Let that little rascal nibble on my asshole
Oh yeah right there, right there
Uhhh I’m cumming
Oh yeah
Fack I just came again
Ok pull it out now
Oh fuck yeah
Wait he’s not out
He’s still crawling around up there
Oh fack I think it’s stuck
Oh but it feels so fucking good

Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I’m gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack fack
Fack I am
I am,
I’m going to cum
I’m cumming

Shove a gerbil in your ass
Through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass
Through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass
Through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass
Through a tube
Ewww
Eww ewww


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Djrj44mwuLg

@ SkylineFaux: What could they possibly leave in that song? D:

I don’t think anyone can top eminem.

Look up doctor dirty

On* by mcchris. More funny than dirty, but it fits haha.

On star to find the clit, I need Onstar to find the clit
On star to find the clit, I need Onstar to find the clit
No shit

I pushed the On star button a long time ago
Don’t you see how late it reacted?
She only come when, she come when she wanna
I think her junk is dead, hope she’s an organ donor
I think I got the basis to find my way to home base
But I’m thinking of a way if I don’t see your O-face
I want your teeth clenched, face pressed in the pillows
I want your toes to curl like decomposing armadillos

But I hear you yawning while I’m all in your stuff,
I want to solve the case of the mysterious muff.
So let the curtains billow, snap the panty elastic
Get down to it before we kick it monastic
your body’s fantastic, I like every part
As for the parts I can’t find, I don’t know where to start
There’s anxiety inside of me with every performance
So shoot me up a flare and let me know your coordinates!

On star to find the clit, I need Onstar to find the clit
On star to find the clit, I need Onstar to find the clit
No shit

okay i gotta say… WTF WITH THIS NIGGA SONG.. i am dissapointed in it but im also laughing so hard :

I will survive in auschwitz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUoanho82H4

nothing dirty about this Not at all

My friend ctaught this song to kindergarteners

My name is Pablo
I come from Mexico
And I make a dollar a day

I go see Lucy
She give me Pussy
And she take my dollar away

EVERYTHING by Rucka Rucka Ali

http://www.ruckasworld.com/Videos.htm

JESUS CHRIST!!! (O_O) well, the most offensive and self-centered songs would be from Foamy the Squirrel: http://www.illwillpress.com/

Shuck N Jive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDfWAr8ut_I

http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&ob=av2e

Every thing by rucka ruck ali?
I freaking love this song.

I know a dirty limerick, does that count

Any way

”there once was a man named enus”
*Brick’D*

Aww, finish it, dirty limericks are good enough

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHV6fjPvCe0

This one is the best.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Seh8cNirlU8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkpJlu_O9Sg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gODGsc38qkQ

There once was a man named enus
And he quite liked the look of his penis
But one day he found out
And gave a loud shout
”Holy shit that just a weenis”

lol who are you^

There once was a girl from Ealing
Who said she had no sexual feeling
then a young man named Boris
Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped from the ceiling

^ hahaha brilliant