Bittersweet Candy Bowl

Yes. You read that right. A thread where we can review movies. Thus, by using each other we can determine if a movie is worth our time or not.

We will use the Augustus scale. Where one is bad and 5 is hella awesome.

at this thread

Here’s my review for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

First off, let me say that I loved it. I’ve read all the books and I loved how they handled the story in the movie.

However, fanboyishness aside, I have to give you all a real review.

The visuals in Scott Pilgrim were amazing and fit the quirky story very well. The cast handled the characters well, even if they are a bit different than that in the book. You can’t help to fall in love with the game humor that is scattered throughout the movie. The movie is put together very well.
However, despite the great characters, visuals, and humor, the movie did have its flaws. The flaw that stood out the most to me was the plot. Now, the movie does very well with the plot despite condensing the books quite a lot. However, there are a few holes and a few parts which just don’t make sense at all. In the movie, they mention how Kim and Scott used to date and that there is a bit of bad air between them because of the break up. However, they don’t say WHY there is that between them, leaving people who haven’t read the books (or watched the animated short on adult swim) confused when Scott apologizes for the whole relationship. And when Envy appears, the viewers only know that Scott had his heart broken by Envy. The “why” is not really explored nor is there any resolution from their meeting during Todd’s fight.
However, despite this, the movie never loses its charm, and for that, I give Scott Pilgrim the following rating:

out of 5

Review for “Prince of Persia”

While I never really played the video games much, i wasn’t big on the game style, we had free movie tickets, and not much looked interesting at the time. I must say that for a video game movie I was somewhat impressed. As expected the plot wasn’t anything special, but they really wen’t all out for some of the action scenes. It was pretty awesome to watch the acrobatics play out on screen, and even with my limited knowledge of the game I was able to recognize a lot of the things that you are actually able to do in it. if you’re looking for something plot intensive then go ahead and skip this, but if you just want to be entertained for a little while with some cool action scenes, well tis is a movie to see.

I give it
out of 5

Review for “The Expendables”

When I first heard about this, I was just about as excited as I was when I heard about “The A-Team” movie. Meaning, I was all, “huh, that’s cool” but then quickly though, “this could be really good or really bad.”

It was really bad.

Throughout the movie, they try to bring back the classic action-movie feel with all the intrigue and explosions that made us love older action films. However, you’d think that with all those big name actors in it, the movie would be good, right? Wrong. The actors were pretty much the movie’s only selling point other than, “Hey. You’re a man, right? Men like action movies, right? Do you? Good. I think you like action movies. This is an action movie. For men. Yeah…” And there wasn’t the old “too many actors trying to overshadow each other” effect going on here either.

The plot sucked ass also.

out of five

Alice in Wonderland:



That is all. ^_^

I think you could expand a little there ILB, but I agree with the rating

Alice In Wonderlad (dunno how to make augustus)
Zombieland (6augustus)

I expect a review for “Vampires Suck” sometime tomorrow.

Do it, dickwads.

“Dickwad” is a term of endearment.

Thank you for reminding me I have to go see that

I refuse, Dumb-ass!

“Dumb-ass” is a term of endearment.

” ‘X’ is a term of endearment” is MY catchphrase. Get your own.

Also, “The Switch” looks good, kinda-sorta. I might watch that and review it for y’all.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Go see it. It’s awesome.

However! I must warn you. It’s really only for you if you’re into the sort of thing it’s on about. To best describe it, it’s like the mixture of a video game and a comic meshed together and brought to life (with awesome music, but that’s just me). The action is purposely a tad flashy and sound effects come flying off the comitted action in onomatopoeia. There’s lots of video game referencing and sounds for little snippets of humor, like at one point where he goes to the bathroom and there’s a little full bar that says “pee bar,” that empties then disappears. Stuff like that.

So some people like it, where as some people hate it, pointing out the same exact reasons for doing so. “It’s like a video game and comic.” Yeah. That was intentional.

Also, there are those who refuse it because they don’t like Micheal Cera, and some in that group that just didn’t think he could pull off a role in an action oriented movie. Which, let’s be honest here, after all those soft-hearted roles you’ve seen him in (ignoring their strange similarities), did you really think this boy could throw down? Well he can!

Still, if you like Micheal Cera (not entirely necessary), video games, comics, action, music, comedy, this is the movie for you. Go see it. Twice!

out of five.

Oh hey, Triple movie review time Bitches!!

Vampires Suck: and a half.

Fairly funny spoof of our least favorite book series: Twilight. Not the best movie in the world but far from the worse. While it’s not terribly original (I’ve seen the same jokes on the homemade spoof of it) It was actually every entertaining and fun. I would advise going and seeing it in the theater if you really hate Twilight and want to laugh at it’s idiocy, but if you are short on cash it can defiantly wait till it comes out on DVD to watch.

Inception

GO SEE IT NOW. This movie is amazing, I’m being serious. While not the biggest mind rape in the world, you honest get so involved in the film that you can’t take your eyes from the screen. Go see it now, for real.

Easy A

This actually a really good movie. I found it funny, cute and laugh out loud hilarious at several places. It’s all the fun of the 80’s teen movies with modern time hilarity. It’s purposely pokes fun at the cliches we have all grown to love and how much of a Hell hole high school can be. You will not regret watching this movie and if you do, come back here and tell me what you didn’t like about it.

Kay, I’m done.

I really want to watch Easy A, but I’m holding out until The Social Network comes out.

NO go see Easy A.

Woman, I have no money. I have to save whatever cash I get my hands on! Current funds is five bucks!

Is that movie about 3D owls any good?

I just finished watching Resident Evil: Extinction. Believe it or not, this was not the worst zombie movie I have ever seen, and I like me some zombie movies, even if they be cheesy. Here’s the thing: there is sand everywhere. There should not be that much sand anywhere on Earth except the Sahara. It is ridiculous.

Who the fuck chose Ali Larter as the rebel leader? John Connor she ain’t. Unless you want to go with that bitchy Nick Stahl, Terminator 3, “I’m a whiny cunt” John Connor, in which case Ali Larter and her massive jaw are excellent. Especially in the Department of Terrible Decisions.

And I will never get tired of Milla Jovulvavitch swing those ugly-ass knives around in slow motion. She is the most awful super weapon in the history of awful super weapons. In the time it takes her to kill one zombie (in an unnecessarily elaborate way), she could have killed the twenty-nine of those bastards.

The monsters were pretty terrible too. I know monsters are supposed to be terrible, but I was half-waiting for Jenovavitch to pull off their masks and reveal that it was Old Man Zuckerman the Groundskeeper all along.

Anyway, if someone puts a gun to your head and demands that you watch this movie or infect yourself with AIDS, you can watch the movie, but you might wish you had AIDS.

Your score is:
out of a possible

NOW GET OUTTA MY SIGHT YOU DISGUST ME

the social network

Now, just to get this out of the way: Yes. I know that this is a movie about facebook. However, it is more than about facebook. It is a story about whether or not you think Mark Zuckerberg is an asshole or not. It keeps you guessing the whole time about his moral standing.

Not really. But it is very entertaining.

The movie is able to be humorous and hilarious at the same time, even though the dialogue for most of the movie seems derivative of a “Gilmore Girls” parody in which at least one of the girls is either Jesse Eisenberg or Justin Timberlake. All the characters are likable even when they are being complete dicks to each other, and the exchanges between them show this and make a spectacle of it.

Justin Timberlake’s portrayal of Sean Parker nearly stole the movie away, but Eisenberg’s straight performance of Mark Zuckerberg overshadowed that of Timberlake’s. The four “villains” of the movie were able to seem both menacing and pitiable at the same time, making their exchanges even hilarious whenever they would receive bad news. Also, Brenda Song takes the “crazy and insane Asian” bit and just rolls with it.

Overall, the writing was great, the acting was great, and you’re missing out if you do not go out and see this.

out of

Sweet! I’ve always wanted to be a movie reviewer! (Puts on a tuxedo and special hat and sits in a chair)

Hello I’m King, I….don’t have a catchy catchphrase, but I do have this review.

Resident Evil: Extinction. (Warning, SPOILERS)

I came here with low standards, I’ll admit. I hardly play the games, and the movies were only meh to me. This movie was too. Just average. Nothing I’ll remember, nothing I really hate. Its just….average. Its okay, but not horrible.

My favorite parts of the movies involved the Executioner (big axe guy) and Wesker. Wesker was probably the best character in this movie! He was a badass! But not even he could make this movie amazing. For this scene hurt the movie BAD.

Wesker has injected Alice with a serum to make her human. No healing factor, telekinesis, speed, or strength. Right after he’s done declaring this, the plane they’re in hits a mountain. Alice survives.

….No…..No….You….you can’t do that movie! YOU CAN’T! You just finished saying she’s human! A HUMAN DOESN’T SURVIVE A PLANE CRASH A-OK! THEY DON’T! How could they have missed that!?

What really gets me is that this could have been avoided EASILY. Just go…

Wesker: This serum will take your powers away. It will take a few seconds to kick in, but once it does, you’ll be human. (Plane crashes, Alice lives)

Another thing is that the clones from the last movie were AMAZINGLY underused. They were almost one hundred percent pointless. Its sad too, because I was kind of curious to see how they would use them.

In the end, if you really want to see the movie, wait for the DVD release. As for me, I honestly think they’re milking this film series WAY too much.

2 out of five Augustus….How do you make that face?

By the way, do the movies have to be new, or can we suggest older movies?

Eh, I guess any movie would be fine.

and you make itlike this ; )

Remove spaces.

Where the wild things are - Slow and boring the only things I liked was the way it was shot with some awesomely framed shots and excellent practical effects.

Alice in Wonderland (2010) - Beautiful looking but the plot is to simple and linear for Alice in Wonderland.

Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue - I’m a Disney animation fan boy so I loved it. My biggest complaint is how Tink was able to put together a waterproof drainage system without glue or some sort of adhesive she also cuts a rubber hose with a piece of broken glass witch was a surprise as they could of had her use a knife or scissors as not to encourage kids to play with broken glass.

Up - I liked this film until they met the “villain” I could not buy him as a bad guy, to me he was a victim, all he wanted to do was to bring back a live specimen to prove he wasn’t a liar and a kid and old guy start fucking with him, he had no hostile intentions until he was pushed.

Oh. Fantastic! Then let me tell you guys about one of my childhood favorites. Star Kid (spoilers, but to be honest, the plot is pretty predictable).

Star Kid is a sci fi/action movie. Here’s the basic plot.

Midget aliens are good and peaceful. Broodwarrior aliens are evil. Broodwarriors destroy 11 planets before meeting midget aliens. Midget aliens get their butts handed to them on silver platters because….they’re peaceful and tiny. To win the war, the midgets make an advance suit of armor, think Iron Man. When their lab is attacked, they send the suit off to another base, but one of the Broodwarriors shoots it, damaging it. This sends the suit to Earth, where a young boy discovers it. When an elite Broodwarrior goes to Earth to retrieve it, the boy and Cy, the suit, must combat it.

I loved this movie as a kid, and I still do, but now that I’m older I see its flaws. The plot is pretty predictable. Don’t expect any big shockers. Also, the main hero, the kid, is kind of a jerk. Yeah, he gets better, but still. One bully spits in his comicbook, he nearly kills him with the suit!

Its flaws aside, the movie has some really good CGI and suits considering it was made and released in the 80s. The Broodwarrior aliens are pretty badass looking, and Cy looks cool too. The action is decent, though again, a little predictable at times, and the humor is actually kind of funny.

In conclusion, if you’re looking for a film to watch with the family or a film to just watch for fun, this is a great choice.

and a half out of

Guardians of Ga’Hoole

This movie is visually stunning and by far worth watching in 3D it’s also darker then what I was expecting from a kids movie these days. As for the plot it’s not deep but it was good.

There was a 3D Roadrunner cartoon before the movie that was awesome it’s creators took full advantage of the 3D technology.

As for the trailers there are two that are ether going to be terrible or so bad it’s good. The Smurfs movie and the Yogi Bear movie I’m not sure about them.