Bittersweet Candy Bowl

ummm jerk a kama is a weapon like a mini scythe in my training i weild 2 kamas and the technics normally
need to have open spaces to slice the body
the katana is a sword
normal shuriken is a ninja star
cyclone shuriken is the new shuriken which has the blades hidden and can be putted in ur pants the blades come out when you are gonna throw it

Well, in Japanese it might be, but in Hindi (I think that is the name of the language?) it does refer to stages of life.

Unless somebody messed up my education. ^_^

lol sure u dont mean karma?

It’s an Indian concept, Noir. Not sure if it’s Buddhist or Hindu (I assume Hindu), but yeah, actually I had the concepts mixed up. Kama Sutra as a whole is a goal in life. “Kama” means body, and it’s something by which to set a goal in every day life.

I had to dig a little to remind myself, but I digress: I’m playing uppers versus downers right now. I pop a xanax and drink a Red Bull on an empty stomach (it’s like having a clean playing field as far as drugs are concerned) and wait to see which affects me first. If it feels like xanax is winning, I drink more Red Bull.

@Jerk: You do realize that at some point your heart, so confused as to whether it should be speeding up or slowing down is one just going to say f*** it and stop?

On a happier note, Tramadol

Oh dear. ^_^

why does so much happen in the 20 hours im not on the internet each day!?

Damn it, by the time I realize I have a grammer error it’s to late to fix it.

Well, Chaz, those 20 hours are six times the length. ^_^

@ (nameless): Spoiler alert: I’m very well aware of that.

but im like…. really off topic now.

What topic?

You cannot be specifically off-topic in an off-topic thread. Just like you cannot derail a bicycle. ^_^

I feel funny, the Tramadol is hitting me much harder than is does normally.

You should not stay in such a violent relationship. ^_^

so if i said something random it wouldnt be off topic?

The official topic is “dog semen.” We try to avoid talking about it.

can i have a direct answer?

Semantically, it would not. So no. ^_^

I do not feel well at all, I think I should lie down for a bit.

Aww… I do hope you get better soon.

Yes maybe you should. wouldn’t want to bet sick all over the internet, now would you?

Don’t overdose on that Tramadol, brother.

Oh dear. I just thought of a terrible joke to go with that. ^_^

Don’t hold out on me, ILB. D:

Basically, it was “Yes, otherwise you’ll go around spewing sunshine. ^_^”

okay….
<.<
>.>

at the moment i am reeeally depressed for some unknown reason. You may have noticed it i was being really evil and creepy and emo for a while before Taeshi decided she disliked my posts (which = me. I caused the posts therefore it is me she hates. its the Causation arguement) and frequently threatened to ban me for it.

Truth is im always like that: very antisocial and rather creepy and stereotypically i have a huge scar on my right wrist. (not from cutting it though) like an emo. Also i am constantly cautious of everyone and never answer questions in a forthright way, which annoys my peers to no end. Several attempts to “vent” my anger and “heal” my “emotional scars” have ended up horribly wrong as caused me to be extremely defensive.

as such i am prone to insane fits of rage and prolonged periods of depression on a frequent basis, and if you were to see me walking down the corridor at my school, youd notice i constantly wear a rather creepy scowl on my face. its a habit and since the new “year 7” kids have arrived theyre all scared of me. which has done *wonders* for my confidence.

as a result anyone who is not directly my friend is a potential enemy to me and i act casually/hostile respectively

i am surrounded by lovers or love influences which frequently trigger my “thought chains” to centre around my accepted fact that i am unlikely to be loved and i refuse to allow anyone i care about to love me at all, since i know im a terrible, anti-social, abusive person. Which only serves to depress me further. Dieing alone is an unwanted fact i have come to accept.

My mind works in a very abstracted way, as the teachers at my school have only recently discovered. I excel and things that are considered ratjer complicated and come up with un-necessarily complicated answers to questions. However i struggle at the simplest things, which my tutor puts down to my psychology trying to find some non-existent hidden complexity behind something obviously simple.

What plagues me most though is anticipation. I am fully aware that my emotional scars wont heal if i dont talk about them and bottling up anger and suppressing happiness is very unhealthy. However i have discovered (most recently on this forum) that no one (mainly Taeshi recently) has even the slightest desire to allow that to happen. In reality, i have gained such a reputation and been in school long enough to know that no one i know wants to know either and i refuse to burden my friends with it.

On this forum, i am mortally terrified that with a single post i could get myself banned forever and possibly not read the comic again, and this has borne rather negative feelings towards the website admins and many forumites, though as i previosuly stated it isnt anything personal, i just retain my cautiousness around you people, since i consider none of you a friend.

For the past few days i have been faking happiness for the sake of Taeshi because i have no other choice. Which doesnt help.

Now that ive said all that, i really expect the worst. But at least it helps that ive SAID it, even if Taeshi and Suitcase do decide to snap and ban me for it, a fear that is well placed. I have read past comments by taeshi , and i see her point, but im not going to pretend to be something im not for her. if they do ban me for this, i will lose all remaining respect for them and go on with my life.

And lastly, i DONT want any sympathy, i DONT want to draw attention to but rather explain a bit about myself so people will STOP ASKING, a practice which stands me in good stead at school. I DONT distinguish annoying from hating. I DONT want to be negative i just am, i DONT try to be a bad influence, and i DONT EVER be something im not. its morally wrong. its what internet rapists do.

So if for some reason you dont LIKE what i had to say, then i dont need to hear it i already know.

This is very long. im sorry about that but i feel a whole lot better for saying it.

Mi unico anhelo es…encontrar un lugar donde desansar…un refugio donde resguardarme…una mano calida que toque mi frente…y una dulce palabra que me anime a seguir luchando…


English mother *Censored* do you speak it? Yeah i do…but i don’t *Censored* Care! it’s a random chat after all, moonspeak? Nah…Latin Speak! Right eh Taesh?

Oh, Chaz…

yeah. im not proud of it.

If anyone cares I’m feeling better, even double checked with my doctor who said such a reaction is unusual but nothing to worry about.

And consisdering all of the other crap I’ve seen on these forums I seriously doubt Taeshi is really considering banning you.

Just ignore Chaz,ILB.

Good to hear, . ^_^

*Peeks open her eyes and sees that it is two hours past when she had laid down to “close her eyes for a second.” LaCommie rolls out of bed with a growl and stumbles over to the computer to do “homework”.*

I HAVE to stop these Friday night naps.

ILB,taeshi wants people to ignore chaz (Lol im not supposed to be saying this but i dont care)

chaz, if your going to talk about it, make a thread, if not, light a fire in worship of the pagan gods.

Fun times.

So how is everybody this fine friday evening, or whatever time it is where you are?

yup. especially when you merge the new with the old, and sacrifice a virgin to the helicopter blades.

*Her hair is every which way and a grimace is on her face as she points to her other post and grunts.*

yes, but now you can stay up later.

But I have to get up early tomorrow morning. This was not a good thing, and I feel like crap.

then you are screwed.
have fun with that!

Yeah getting up early in the morning is quickly becoming one of the worst aspects of my life at the moment.

Oh, at least you get a bit of fresh air. ^_^

i always get up early so i dont mind it.

I right now own a shuriken

Noones ever here

is there anyone out there that feels as lonely as me?

You are quite unlucky with the times you get on, sweetie.