Bittersweet Candy Bowl

usually i’m a pretty easy going person. easy to get along with, etc… however, in grade 1-5 i didn’t have any friends (not the important part) and that may have had something to do with this.
note: i try to maintain a view of mind > emotion

anyways, over the past year and a half (about 20 months) i have been having extreme emotional interference with my day to day activity. which for me is odd. i have masked it, hoping for it to go away. it hasn’t so far… and its gotten to the point where almost anything will make me feel this way. (listed later on) today, while driving to ottawa, i heard a song. this song, made me burst into silent tears behind my sunglasses. (i don’t view crying as a bad thing) the feelings seem to last longer each time something like this happens…

the feelings are as follows: depression, fear, anxiety, pity for myself, anguish, lonesomeness (is that a feeling? ), and rage. another thing is a tight warmness right above my diaphragm.

any help or scientific evidence for why this is happening would be greatly appreciated.

I guess you crave attention?
I’m no psycologist, so my best guess is you are afraid of what’s to come and what isn’t.

Sounds like you have social anxiety. My friend goes though pretty much the same things. Sadly I don’t have any evidence for this as I am not a doctor. Would care to expand on how an average day for you goes? If you want to of course.

I’d consult a therapist. And a physician, within regards to tight warm feeling in your chest.

Go to a doctor or you will end shooting people in the subway…

Scientific-ish:
It’s not an uncommon problem. Sometimes emotional imbalances are caused by a shift in your hormones. This could mean anything from puberty to the change in season could cause your body to have an altered state of chemicals. For example, I have seasonal depression and anxiety. I take a vitamin called St. Johns wort for this, you can get it without a prescription (but of course I asked my doctor first, just to be sure).

Other:
Maybe there are issues in your private life that you aren’t dealing with, or don’t know how to deal with. Bottled emotions do leak out after a while.

In any case, you don’t have to worry about repressed memories or anything bad like that. Most of the so-called ‘repressed memories’ are implanted by the (neo-Freudian) psychologists themselves.

I do have fits of BAWWW. But usually that happens at night when I’m thinking about the temporal nature of everything. After I cry, everything seems to make more sense. But I can’t blame you if you feel worried every time you cry, especially when each time you cry longer.

Can you describe the tight warmness? Cause that’s the feeling I get whenever I think about something romantic.

But we can rule some things out. Since I’m going to assume this developed gradually, this isn’t Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Also, since I’m going to assume that what you’re feeling isn’t INTENSE pain or terror, this isn’t any of the panic disorders either. I don’t think it’s social anxiety disorder, because that usually happens when the person is in a crowd or in any of the ‘social’ events. If the things you usually think about are “HOLY SHIT THIS IS GOING TO BE A DISASTER”, then it may be generalized anxiety disorder, but I doubt you were thinking about the song being a disaster when you cried after listening to that song.

I dunno. Usually anxiety disorders are pretty intense. They range, sure, but I don’t think silent crying would count as anxiety.

However, a lot of the things you’re describing points to a depressive disorder, even though… hm. That shouldn’t be it either. You’re having bouts of depression, instead of an all-encompassing feeling of low mood/self-esteem. (Albeit the fact that you’re having more frequent bouts… )

But again, we need you to be more specific, and if you can, could you describe what your feelings were focused on? E.g. you are anxious of the car spontaneously exploding, you are fearful of what you’re doing in life, etc.

Also, don’t worry gais, I’m completely certified. I aced my AP Psych test, and thus I’m a qualified clinical psychologist. Yeah.

(PS. I don’t advise you to ask for advice about your psychological health on the internet. We can help to the best of our knowledge, but it’s usually pretty limited).

Just don’t web MD it. You’ll just be paranoid until you talk to a professional.

1. Seek professional medical help. If you have a regular physician, check with him / her. They can help point you in the right direction.
2. Keep an open mind about treatment options when they bring them up. Some pills get shit done, regardless of what smelly hippies and Scientologists will tell you.
3. Do not ask the internet. Not now, not ever, regarding anything.
4. Dog semen.
5. Good luck.

well… thanks guys. i’ve just run out of ideas on what is causing this. it actually makes no sense to me…..

@ryan: there was no focus. just everything…. holy shit…. did i just realize that i am insignificant spec in the big ol universe? (probably not… )

relatively similar to what i had before. for me, when i found a purpose to my life, i was content, and it stopped. except the loneliness. but hey

and you are an insignificant spec, we all are, but matter deeply to people around us so hey.

@GoldenArbiter01

Yeah, that’s the feeling I get sometimes when I lay on my bed. I go like: Hey, this city’s pretty big. I wonder if you can see it from space… wait, if you can’t see it from space, how will people even relatively close to earth can tell you exist? And what of the stars, galaxies, and everything?

And then I talk to myself about infinity and how even the biggest number seem like zero when compared to infinity. Then I think about humanity having a very temporary existence in universe. And then I think about how the universe itself is temporary.

But usually at this point, I go like “but hey, I can taste what I eat, feel what I touch, even if this all seem insignificant from outer space, it’s much bigger from my perspective.” And then I think about all the great things in the world, even if it is just a speck of dust in space.

No focus? Oh gee. That sounds like depression. Do you feel down, with low self-esteem even when you do your daily hassle? If you do, consider going to a clinical psychologist. Not psychiatrists. These problems (in my opinion) should be solved by a change in perspective, not a change in neurobiology.

But if the psychologist holds up inkblots and asks you what you see, walk out of the office. Same thing goes for psychologists who ask you about your childhood memories.

i got over the perspective thing years ago.

it may very well be depression. but it isnt a constant thing. its only whenever i see (hear etc) something either really happy, or really sad. also, i think its some kind of disorder relating to being alone for so long… and if it is that, then i just need to suck it up and move on.

thats the only thing i can think of that would cause it.


Edit: actually, now that i think about it… it might actually be caused by physical pain, and seeing other people without it. (i have 2 forms of scoliosis, and most likely arthritides as well. )