Bittersweet Candy Bowl

Here’s the deal, bitches: the game is to come up with a “fanfic” that compresses as much into as little space as possible.

1. It can be funny, it can be drama, I don’t care.

2. Doesn’t have to be based in anything that has actually happened but fan characters (i.e. characters that don’t appear in the comic) are expressly fucking forbidden. I have absolutely no way to enforce this shit.

(Also) 2: Fan characters suck. Do not use them. (Anywhere. Ever.)

3. It helps to think of it as a haiku in spirit but not in format. No more than two sentences, using as few words as possible. If you only need one, only use one.

Example: Lucy, her foot against his back, violently expels a sleeping Michael from her bed. “Jerkface,” she mutters, then falls back to sleep.

Example: While no less delighted with the anonymous gift, David wonders why his new headphones are slightly scorched.

Example: Though she could understand that his bike had been destroyed, Jasmine wondered what bizarre sense of chivalry compelled Paulo to carry her on his back to the movie theater.

Oooooo… I accept good sir!

——

Though the gesture was nice, and the intent somewhat sweet… Mike just didn’t feel right accepting Lucy’s birthday gift of dressing up as Sandy for the day.

-

“I think I might love you” Paulo said to Jasmine as the sun shone a bright amber light upon their interlocked figures.
“Might has nothing to do with it” Replied the young girl with a smile and a kiss.

-

A bucket of water, a photo of Abbey’s mother, the hat from the flower goddess, an extra loud air horn, and a tape recording of dogs barking. “Today’s going to be a good day” Augustus proclaimed.

Being in an incredibly chipper mood, Mike failed to notice the bandages around Lucy’s wrists.
“Jerkface” she whispered as she cried later that night.

(Wow I didn’t mean for this to turn out so depressing)

Tee hee. ^_^


Try as he might, Abbey could not purge the haunting memories of that terrible night all those years ago. He turned to look Molly straight into the eyes, and said: “I’m sorry…”


… No, I’m not really pleased with that. It can be interpreted in too many ways. Oh well ^_^

Lucy got pissed.”Jerkface!” Lucy said as she slapped Micheal

Nothing compared to the look in her eyes as Mike coyly handed her his old blue scarf.
“It suits you, Lucy.”

“oh god, im pregnant. i wonder who did it?”, thought lucy.

“Lucy, after Sandy and I broke up, I’ve come to realize that I…I really do love you, Lucy,” Mike whispered, taking hold of the the white cat’s hands as he leaned in for a long-awaited kiss, his heart beating in anticipation.
Lucy stared in disbelief at the Korat before her anger suddenly flared up and she brought her leg up to kick him where the sun doesn’t shine, seething as he tensed up. “Fuck you, jerkface, you had your chance.”

^I lol’d.

Mike’s head felt faint, his crotch throbbed in ways he had never thought it could, all building towards the final climax.
“There you go mam, your son is now neutered.”

Maverik… ^_^

Molly held her hand up to her eyes to block the bright and playful sun that sneaked through the tree leaves, “What do you want to do today, Justin?”

“I don’t know.” the dog answered truthfully, “Let’s just sit here today, it’s too hot to do anything else.”

Michael sighed as he snuggled up close to Lucy, feeling the warmth of her body heat and her gentle breath on his face.

“I love you, Lucy.” He told the girl as he held her close, allowing her to silently sob into his shoulder, letting it all out after so many years.

—-

“Are you sure, Michael?” Lucy asked sheepishly, allowing him to carry her up the stairs.

The Korat grinned. “I’m sure, Lucy; I love you.” He told her before gently lying her on the bed and deflowering her with the utmost care.

My turn!

Amaya looked everywhere, but there was no way out. Trapped, she looked back at the dark shape with pleading eyes, tears coming down.

“Sorry. But I don’t do mercy.” Molly smiled. Without warning, she swung her scythe, severing the tabby and spraying blood on the brick walls.

All eyes in the room rested on Sue, to which the question had been posed. She glanced down to McCain at her side, smiled radiantly and proclaimed: “I do.”

—-

This is quite fun. ^_^

The quills were the problem, thought David. Worst blind date ever!

After questioning Molly’s playful swings of a stick, Justin was given a quizzical look not unlike his own. The little girl replied with a giggle “I’m reaping the souls of the innocent for my Dark harvest, silly”.

Michael sighed and stared out over the frozen lake, watching the gentle snowfall with a look of happiness.

“Merry Christmas, my angel.” He whispered as he felt the small velvet box in his pocket.
—-
Lucy smiled at Michael as he handed her a warm cup of cocoa, allowing the liquid to pass over her lips.

“Thanks for letting me get it all out, Michael.” She said, blushing as Michael held her close.
—-
Lucy blew Michael as kiss as she exited the small classroom, leaving him sitting starstruck next to the large form of David.

“So did you two have an orgy or what?” David blurted out in a rather nonchalant manner.
—-
Michael collapsed on top of Lucy, tired from their lustful whirlwind of passion.

“That was wonderful.” She gasped, blushing and breathing heavily.
—-
Michael handed Lucy her necklace and she draped it over her costumed body as the door swung open behind them, revealing David with Paulo in tow.

“I’m a god damn wizard!” David shouted, waving his magic wand around and poking Paulo in the eye.
—-
Michael held Lucy’s hand and smiled warmly at her as the principal finished speaking.

“And now, our class valedictorian – Ms. Daisy!”
—-
David burst into the quaint play and plowed through the seats to tackle Abbey near the balcony level.

“Don’t worry Mr. President, no one will shoot you as long as I’m around!”
—-
Michael twirled Lucy and pulled her back into his warm embrace, slowly rocking her to the beat of the mournful melody that was “The Last Waltz”.

“I had the Last Waltz with you.” Lucy hummed, resting her head on Michael’s shoulder. “Two lonely people together. I fell in love with you, the last waltz should last forever.”
—-
Carson eagerly grasped Paulo’s shoulders and shook him, squealing like a little girl at Paulo’s handsome reflection in the mirror.

“You look like a fabulous groom.” He said, squealing once more.
—-
Michael took Lucy’s gloved hands in his and stared down into her eyes, watching the tears roll down her cheeks.

“I do.” He finished, kissing her before the priest had a chance to finish speaking.

The David and Abbey one me lol.

Justine sighed as he opened yet another boxes of thin mints. How in the world had Molly persuaded his parents to buy 20 boxes of them anyways?

Slightly NSFW i guess.






“Oww. Abbey, That hurts..” Molly groaned as she sat on his lap,slowly taking him in. “It’ll only hurt for a minute,Sorry.” Feeling a strange sense of guilt as he went a little farther.

“Couldn’t you rape Daisy?” Molly asked while hope glinted in her large green eyes.

“No it has to be Molly!” Abbey repeated with harsh assertion.

Blood dripped from the dagger in Lucys hands matching the tears that dripped from her eyes. she had finally stood on her own, with her own support, though her friends comfort would be welcome… (use your imagination hehehe)

Lucy moaned as Paulo inserted himself slowly and carefully. “Would you just get in the damn car already?!”

Lucy clicked the “Post Reply”, button, finally having finished her page-long rant. “Newfags.”

———

David reached down, slowly taking the single flower from the ground, the goddess having not noticed in her rush it had been carried off by the wind. “Someday…”

———

Paulo and David proudly strutted in, having kicked down the door moments earlier. “Fear not ladies, the men are now here.”

———-

Abbey let the last photo he had of his mother fall back into the strongbox he kept under his bed. He locked it, and the haunting words of the foster officer rang clear in his mind: “Molly can never know.”

i know you said no fancharacters but i don’t count mccain as one so

“THIS GAME IS FOR FAGGOTS AND QUEERS,” shouted Paulo as he flipped the chessboard into McCain’s face. As Paulo stormed off, McCain quietly contemplated who he might have more success with.

Daisy stared in horror as Abbey melted, features dripping off his face like a chocolate bunny in a microwave, down into a puddle of hideous grey. Once again, she’d been played for a fool by shapeshifters!

—

Lucy smiled, and leaned up against Paulo, who smiled at her in turn through love-blinded eyes. He had no idea what that stick had been doing up there, but taking it out had clearly been the right decision.

—

“Does this dress make me look fat?” asked Sue, twirling a little.
“Yes,” said McCain.

—

In the middle of their embrace, Paulo broke, and reached for the small packet on the bedside table, but Tess reached out her hand and snagged his wrist.
Pulling him back down to her, she leaned to his ear and said “AIN’T NEED IT”

(avoid sin)

Sue and McCain lol

@ SpaceMouse: I define fan characters as any one not in the comic. If they’re in the comic, they’re not a “fan character,” per se. ROBBLEROBBLEROBBLE

“That was a fun game, Paulo.” David said, completely oblivious to the sexual events that had transpired.

Paulo laughed. “We can do it again anytime you want, stud.”

First Sgt. Rainpop, then Molly, and most recently a white cat with black ears. Windows flashed by, the ground roared up to meet him, and Justin resolved to never talk to strangers, ever again.

Abbey was confused why Daisy would ask for a “pearl necklace” for her birthday when she wore one all the time. Then he realized what she meant.

———————————————————-
It wasn’t that she was sick, or twisted, or insane, or anything like that because all she wanted was to be with Mike forever and nothing was going to stop her. Sandy found the perfect warehouse for them to die in together.

————————————————————-
Later on, David would be glad that he was kicked out of that club for all the people who never get any attention. They were today’s big story on the evening news.

——————————————————————
As Sue clutched McCain’s dead body, she shuddered in sheer terror in the corner of the cafeteria, helplessly watching the rest of her friends get killed. “It’s always the quiet ones…” she thought.

——————————————————————
His friends all assumed that he hung himself after being dumped by his long-distance girlfriend. However, the truth was that he tripped and his scarf got snagged on a very persistent branch.

———————————————————————
“A-am I doing this right?” asked Katie, who had never done this before. “Shut up and just suck me off if you want that ‘A+’,” said Noodles.

Oh dear, Pony. That Sue/McCain exchange was rather amusing. ^_^


The clouds drifted by, the butterflies fluttered whimsically through the air, the creek sang serenely from a few metres away and Amaya thought to herself that life really could not get any better than this.

“Today is the perfect day for a raping,” thought Alejandro.

————————————————————————————-
Jay sighed after he apologized for his behaviour towards Paulo and Tess. “Now that I’ve done that,” he thought, “I’ll never be used outside of this chapter ever.”

—————————————————————————————
Once again, another group of students had lost their way and found their way to the bar. “Perfect”, thought the dog at the bar as he grabbed his crotch.

—————————————————————————————
Work at the coffee bar was difficult for Tess, but at least the pay and tips were good. Especially when she flashed her male customers.

Lucy kills Sandy. Mike and Lucy have 3 kids.

There’s mine

Wait, flashing? How on Earth is she planning to do that? ^_^

Also, Draixen wins a price for simplicity.

I’d like to thank the academy… lol thanks ILB. Also, idk

Oooo, i got another.

Paulo does Lucy. Lucy doesn’t get pregnant.

7 words, top that.

EDIT: Oh wait, that’s not fanfic. Let me try again.

Paulo does Lucy. Lucy gets pregnant.

There, 6 words, top that!!!

Lily stared in disbelief at what laid before her. Yashy, Chirpy and Blur also stared as well. The impossible has happened, Yashy beat Lily in a game of UNO.

(lol, posting this at school!)

“How ‘bout breakfast?” Paulo grinned. Abbey just glared and kicked off the sheets.

“I’m gonna be late!” exclaimed David on the way to school. “It’s pizza day! I can’t miss that!”.
@Tayvin that’s 3!

Sandy. Dies.

There, 2 sentences and two words. Can anyone do better?

Draixen:
Kizuna lived. Not anymore.

FOUR WORDS

EDIT DAMMIT DRAIXEN

Those are not complete sentences, Draixen. ^_^

Whereas something like “Lucy glared.” is a better idea.

What? There was never a minimum requirement. ^_^

These used to be clever and fun, but now it’s a contest of stupidity played between Draixen and Draixen.

Also, these are supposed to be fanfics, ILB. So “Lucy glared.” doesn’t really count…

Tee hee. I’ll post something else soon. ^_^

But what about “Lucy fell.”?