Bittersweet Candy Bowl

Yep, they breed like lucy in a bad fanfic, smell like piss, fly into your hair at every opportunity, and land in your food only to drown there and leave their body as a big F@#$ YOU from mother nature. In the morning, I grab them and throw them into spiderwebs that I see around the outside of the house. During the day, I push them into open, half-empty bottles of various beverages. And at night between all the sex and yacht parties I have (because I’m so rich and accomplished like that) I throw them into my ceiling fan and listen to the *tink* *tink* *tink* of their little carapaci being catapaulted into the hall.

I hate them. Let us discuss ways to end their existence. >8(

You can’t hope to eradicate them all. They are a secret weapon developed by a shady group of disgruntled Ninjas that can never be stopped. The Ninjas and question are very, very dead, but the bugs escaped during the fight. We didn’t even bother trying to capture them all, it would have been an exercise in futility. We figured out a way to avoid them entirely, but that’s a Ninja secret, so I cant tell you. So you are just going to have to put up with them.

It makes sense considering they came from Japan. Still, if a ninja clan had to kill them, even if only to slow the increase of their numbers, how would they do it?

Even a ninja cannot hope to throw enough kunai and stars to eliminate them all.

The first rule of understanding *Ninja:

Always read the name!

First rule of understanding happehface:

I don’t want to :C

Secret ninja bugs huh…. Bring in the napalm, The halways shall run black with bugs,

yeah but I can only guess that BURNING stink bugs will only smell worse. I was thinking more along the lines of hiring chinese slave children to follow me around and kill them for me.

“Let not one bug enter my sight and you shall earn a dollar today.”

If there is anything left of the hallways for it to run on…

I don’t have stinkbugs here that aren’t a metaphor for something else.

Jerk I don’t know what you mean by that, but I’m only slightly hesitant to find out.

It’s your loss, kid. You mighta learned somethin’. >]

I didn’t say I didn’t want to know…

I get Japanese Beetles where I am. They are hard as a rock, big as a golf ball, and are BLIND. I end up getting smacked in the fore head by a beetle going 10 mph.

Does this mean that they fly, or that you spend most of your days in very awkward positions? ^_^

@ Taeshi: A yes, the mosquito, prime suspect for the “when did that happen?” collection of itchy insect bites. Second place: Fleas. Third place but arguably the most annoying: chiggers.

@Happehface: I have only encountered a stink bug once in my life. I remember sitting there while my uncle Jay started messing with it, and all I remember after this is him on the grounding laughing so hard his face was red and veiny and my mom at the door screaming at him.

If you’re going to personify them, Taysh, think of them closer to how they really are: morbidly obese men who defend themselves by farting.

Carcharocles: They are SO annoying when in numbers. I’ll get one in my bedsheets at night and I’ll bump into it with my foot or something and it’ll get scared and let off its stink in my covers, but I won’t know it did that so I’m like “ew whats in my bed”.

Then I lift up the covers and I’m greeted with stinkbug swamp ass at 2am. Then I murder the thing until it’s unrecognizable. >8( I hate them so much.

im british. i dont know this shit. i torture annoying bugs at night by suffocating them with deodorant.

@Chaz: All the british people I’ve met spend their time playing Eve Online and drinking Jack + Coke.

Which means I must be british 8D

well i dont play Eve and i dont know what Jack is, but coke is awesome.

i play WoW and uncharted online though

Jack Daniels…

you… you don’t know what that is? DDDDDDD:

I feel sorry for the poor bugs. I mean, I have never met them, but would it not suffice to just kill them and be done with it? ^_^