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One step beyond Another Fanfict

Poll: Give me your opinion? (21 member(s) have cast votes)

What do you think of the history?

  1. It's the best think I have ever read! (5 votes [23.81%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 23.81%

  2. It's ok (14 votes [66.67%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 66.67%

  3. It's ok but needs some work (2 votes [9.52%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 9.52%

  4. Normal for me (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  5. What the heck were you thinking on? (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  6. Man, stop writing please! (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

Problems with my english?

  1. It's perfect! (2 votes [9.52%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 9.52%

  2. Not bad, you could do it better (19 votes [90.48%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 90.48%

  3. What? You write in english? I though it was spanglish! (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  4. Learn english before writing, you moron! (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

You think that the characters are ok?

  1. Yeah, they fit with their personalities (10 votes [47.62%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 47.62%

  2. They are a little Out Of Character, but it's ok. (11 votes [52.38%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 52.38%

  3. They tottally different from BCB! What are you doing man? (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  4. Well it was ok until... WTF WITH SANDY??? (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

Vote Guests cannot vote
@Sammy: I see. Maybe it would have been better to say "Jaw" instead of mandible. And well, I consulted with a british friend and he confirmed that I should have writen "beated up" instead of "smacked". Changing it, thanks for the advise.

@redjack: Yeah, McCain rocks.
  • #51
  • 28 April 2011 - 11:00 PM
Wonderful chapter :D
Waiting for more XD

I think the second objective of Augustus is kill Alejandro...
and... MCCAIN ROCKS XD
  • #52
  • 28 April 2011 - 11:14 PM
BCB McCain for president? (not the real life one)
  • #53
  • 28 April 2011 - 11:17 PM
New chapter almost as long as the last one. I want to see your reactions at the end of the chapter :D. Enjoy it.

One step beyond Chapter 12, a bittersweet candy bowl fanfic | FanFiction

This post has been edited by Volgrand: 16 May 2011 - 11:09 AM

  • #54
  • 16 May 2011 - 11:09 AM

Quote

You know hun

That sounds like something Katie would say
  • #55
  • 16 May 2011 - 11:14 AM
Damn this shit be good :D
  • #56
  • 16 May 2011 - 12:24 PM
Is it me or each time I receive less feedback? :s
  • #57
  • 16 May 2011 - 07:25 PM
Well to be frank I would say that Sandy doing something like that isn't something I would see her do so easily. But that's just my opinion of how I see her. In my eyes Sandy is too innocent and sweet to do something like that. The Judo grip I have to say suited her XD
  • #58
  • 16 May 2011 - 07:36 PM
I'm getting this when i click the link:

Quote

FanFiction.Net Message Type 1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter not found. Please check to see you are not using an outdated url.
New chapter/story can take up to 15 minutes to show up

This post has been edited by Domafari: 16 May 2011 - 07:37 PM

  • #59
  • 16 May 2011 - 07:36 PM
@Peturd: You're right, didn't saw it when I wrote it down.

@Redjack: At start I though on Tess doing it, but when I wrote how the dog said "Sweety, let those losers alone and come with a real man." I found it obvious that Augustus would tell Sandy to do it. And after all, Sandy is more than capable to defend herself from a single man :D.

@Domafari: That's strange, the link works for me. Try going directly to fanfiction, or click on any other chapter to go to the history.
  • #60
  • 16 May 2011 - 09:02 PM
  • Borg Lord
  • Talk shit about furries and see how mad I get!
    Member
If I had artistic talent I would definitely try to draw the group all dressed up to go out bar-hopping and thug-interrogating.

I had some actual comments but then I answered them myself, so now all I can express is surprise that the bar doesn't card obvious minors. It could get shut down for that.
  • #61
  • 16 May 2011 - 09:08 PM
the link works for me now.

Ahh, another great chapter...
you've done a great job on it again.


Does Tess have a fake ID?
Shes only 17 and was able to buy drinks with alcohol, and i thought the drinking age was 21 in the US?

This post has been edited by Domafari: 16 May 2011 - 09:13 PM

  • #62
  • 16 May 2011 - 09:12 PM
@Borglord and Domafari: Well... huuuh... ehhhm.... this is a bar for the bad guys of the fic! So they don't care about laws! :D I didn't really think on it as in my country (spain) when I was 16 we always found out different ways to get into the pubs and buying some drinks with alcohol.
  • #63
  • 16 May 2011 - 09:16 PM
Well I think in Europe people are allowed to order alchoholic drinks when their 16 like beer. But strong alchoholic drinks like vodka and other such liquids you need to be 18 for. Still beats 5 years ey ;)
  • #64
  • 16 May 2011 - 10:12 PM

Quote

"Augustus and McCain did a face palm at the same time."


BEST LINE EVARRRr
  • #65
  • 16 May 2011 - 10:23 PM
^ Agreed XD
  • #66
  • 16 May 2011 - 10:40 PM
@redjack, well nop. You can't order alcoholic drinks before 18. But not everyone respects that law :D.
  • #67
  • 16 May 2011 - 11:37 PM

View PostVolgrand, on 16 May 2011 - 11:37 PM, said:

@redjack, well nop. You can't order alcoholic drinks before 18. But not everyone respects that law :D.


Technically beer is an alchoholic drink and yet Holland lets kids of age 16 to buy and consume them ;P that and Marijuana is legal XD
  • #68
  • 16 May 2011 - 11:40 PM
Holland is different :D
  • #69
  • 17 May 2011 - 01:30 AM
Wow, since may I didn't upload! I'm sorry guys, but I was too much focused on other projects. Anyway, here you have, enjoy it.

One step beyond Chapter 13, a bittersweet candy bowl fanfic | FanFiction
  • #70
  • 22 July 2011 - 03:04 PM
  • Borg Lord
  • Talk shit about furries and see how mad I get!
    Member
I'm surprised Sandy's arm isn't broken.
  • #71
  • 22 July 2011 - 07:35 PM
Isn't broken but it will be a problem.
  • #72
  • 22 July 2011 - 08:55 PM
One step beyond Chapter 14, a bittersweet candy bowl fanfic | FanFiction

New chapter.

It took a while, I know. It was a combination of my laziness and the difficulty to find a proper way to the group to succeed. I hope you like it.

This post has been edited by Volgrand: 31 August 2011 - 05:45 PM

  • #73
  • 31 August 2011 - 04:04 PM
Well, new chapter. Only about 3, maybe 4 more to end the fict.

One step beyond Chapter 15, a bittersweet candy bowl fanfic | FanFiction

If you want a fast summary of the chaper: Action and more action.
  • #74
  • 07 September 2011 - 11:55 AM
Oh god.. Volgrand this was one of the best action fics I've read in my life. I mean the detail could use a bit more work such as grammar and such but the plot and ideas covered here. WOW. Especially that scene between McCain and the black dog. I've seen allot of movie moments myself and was expecting something entirely different from what you showed us. Kudos to you my friend. You made a great fic.
  • #75
  • 07 September 2011 - 09:47 PM
This is turning out to be a lot more intense than I anticipated. I like how the story has come along.

This post has been edited by Purin: 07 September 2011 - 10:11 PM

  • #76
  • 07 September 2011 - 10:11 PM
Glad that you liked it. I was expecting something as "VOLGRAND, YOU MONSTER!!" because of the ending of the chapter :D.

I really had difficulties to find out a way so the kids could do it without dying.
  • #77
  • 07 September 2011 - 10:47 PM
Thats some dark stuff you got there
Its a pretty good read, Ill keep my eye on it ;)
  • #78
  • 07 September 2011 - 11:53 PM
  • Borg Lord
  • Talk shit about furries and see how mad I get!
    Member
I very much approve of badass McCain. Also, his methodical preparations remind me of the Luggage, and in particular that scene where Rincewind is explaining how the Luggage is fiercely loyal, and if you kill its owner it will hunt you down. You can outrun it in the short term, but it never sleeps, will always know where you are, and will never give up.
  • #79
  • 08 September 2011 - 12:35 AM
That was really good. no kidding, the last two chapters were something to really take in and enjoy.

Everything presented has the right blend of action, sacrifice, and dark overtones that make everything work well.

Keep it up.
  • #80
  • 10 September 2011 - 10:11 AM
Chapter 16 has been launched!

Finally, I wrote chapter 16. I'm so sorry for the delay, but I have been busy with other matters... and I wasn't in the right mood to write that :D. Anyway, now it's done.

2 chapters left to finish the fict.

Hope you like it n_n
  • #81
  • 20 November 2011 - 04:01 PM
This was another one of your great chapters. I really enjoyed David's dialogue 8-D
  • #82
  • 20 November 2011 - 04:14 PM
Chapter 17 on the air!

Yes, the chapter 17 is, finally, ready. I'm sorry for the delay. At the end of the chapter there is an explanation of what hapenned. Hope you enjoy it. Reviews are encouragedThank you in advance for your reviews! :)

This post has been edited by Volgrand: 04 May 2012 - 05:09 PM

  • #83
  • 04 May 2012 - 03:45 PM
I started to read 3 minutes ago, and alreay can say, this fic is great!!!!


Changed my mind in the moment that the weapon shoted in Abbey, unharmed is one thing, dead it's another ¬¬

This post has been edited by Mil_Faces: 11 May 2012 - 12:53 AM

  • #84
  • 10 May 2012 - 08:51 PM

View PostMil_Faces, on 10 May 2012 - 08:51 PM, said:

I started to read 3 minutes ago, and alreay can say, this fic is great!!!!


Changed my mind in the moment that the weapon shoted in Abbey, unharmed is one thing, dead it's another ¬¬


Life is unfair :). Anyway I still have some more chapters to write. The end will be slightly different to what you probably imagine.
  • #85
  • 13 May 2012 - 02:01 PM
I can understand that life is unfair, but, until now, Alejandro it's the only one winning here...
And, please, don't kill Lucy!!!
  • #86
  • 13 May 2012 - 06:33 PM

View PostMil_Faces, on 13 May 2012 - 06:33 PM, said:

I can understand that life is unfair, but, until now, Alejandro it's the only one winning here...
And, please, don't kill Lucy!!!


Wait until next chapter and you will see ;)
  • #87
  • 13 May 2012 - 11:35 PM
One step beyond Chapter 18, a bittersweet candy bowl fanfic | FanFiction

Yep its been a long time. Here you have another chapter :)
  • #88
  • 06 September 2012 - 02:41 PM
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