In the post where lucy and dominic have a heartfelt conversation, why was such a..."spicy" young thing so willing to suddenly open up? It goes totaly against her way of living up to this point.
In the part where the told get handed out, it seems clunky. Sort of like it is halfway between story telling and filing a report. This is mostly because the topic itself is a bit of a clunky one.
I see two ways to fix it. Actualy gut the difficult pretext of making a situation where they get the tools handed out and replace it with an announcment and a table as you just about did that anyway or go into a 20 paragraph detailed training session where he wanders about and talks to each of them so that you could work out the limits of each of their magics and hand out the tools.
This post has been edited by Craft aids: 26 April 2011 - 05:07 AM