Seven Minutes in Heaven - a Mike/Paulo fanfic
- 13 August 2011 - 06:21 PM
But by all means, go back to what you were discussing.
- 13 August 2011 - 08:18 PM
This was really awesome, I loved this!
- 14 August 2011 - 03:21 PM
Wouldn't it be nice to have all those good chapters arranged in a way that they're easily found?
I mean, if I want to find that one that I liked the most, I'd have to go through all this topic...
I have a feeling someone must have pointed it out already...
- 14 August 2011 - 05:49 PM
- 15 August 2011 - 02:16 AM
Anyway, I updated the first post as suggested and also added a little something something which I will post here as well. Because gosh darn it I spent all of a ten minutes on it and I want you peeps to see it:
jesus paulo, you need better material or mike will withhold nookie since he is not above such girly tactics. apparantly.
- 22 August 2011 - 09:10 PM
those green eyes.......................
- 23 August 2011 - 03:04 AM
Ch.10: Excellent level of angst. Seriously, you could NOT have done a better job here. Well, except for one thing. What I find most interesting is the reference to The Picture of Dorian Gray. You say it is a book that had many allusions to homosexuality? And Mike was reading it on the plane-ride to Acapulco? I found that amazing. You could've taken it further by referencing the gay dream Mike has that first night they stay in Acapulco, you know.
Ch.11: Oh yeah, I had forgotten how well you had been following the canon. Bravo.
Ch.12 and 13: I didn't think Paulo would act that casual. Hm. Were the other characters ever notified that Mike and Paulo had been fighting over Lucy?
Ch.14: This was really unexpected. I REALLY like this one, because as a few other people already said, the issue of Paulo's mother not being around hasn't been brought up before. Here was a little gem of BCB fanfic writing.
Ch.15: Very conclusive...yet kind of anti-climatic. First off, I kind of wish you had included one more chapter before this one, detailing how Tess had thrown the party and the spin-the-bottle game. That would've been wonderful build-up. Then it felt weird when Mike and Paulo slowly began to warm up to each other after their fight in the closet. Hugging each other and shit... Even going as far as admitting their crushes for each other. But once you got past that fact, it was still anti-climatic. I'm not a yaoi fan, but I almost expected Paulo to kiss Mike. I think it would've been stronger if you had that happen. Then, and only then, would Mike have to go on about why it couldn't work (because of Lucy and Sandy).
Epilogue: Haha. Interesting. Maybe you could turn this into a sequel?
And after all this...we discover that you can draw as well as write. Wow. You have some talent, man. Keep up the good work.
I don't think anyone has requested anything yet...How about you do a MikexJasmine story? Weird pairing, I know, but after reading Ace's story "Sweet Spot"...Just gave me new insight on the potential on MikexJasmine, or at least Mike and Jasmine becoming very good friends if given the chance.
- 29 August 2011 - 12:49 AM
I'm bumping to express appreciation for how terrific this story was. Veronica read the whole thing to me in bed last night and it was cute, funny, clever and engaging throughout. I agree with Vero that it's the best BCB fanfiction I've read.
You sprinkled in clever references and jokes throughout that I noticed and appreciated, and seemed to have a lot of fun telling the story.
The few bits of criticism I noticed in this thread reminded me a lot of the complaints A Certain Other Great Writer received for playing with words. But I value it. I think it shows you're well-read and exciting. I'm even willing to forgive you for saying ugly things like "brainfart" and "piss in his cheerios" because of your kind attitude. Just great work.
I noticed that you're no longer around, according to your profile. Please come back. I'd love to see more of your fiction, it's truly exciting and makes me really glad that BCB has gathered at least a few erudite, truly articulate writers among its fans.
- 27 June 2012 - 07:09 AM
- 27 June 2012 - 07:32 AM
@ Taeshi & SuitCase: I... am a bit overwhelmed. I mean, I mostly wrote this to entertain myself at a time when things where starting to become not so awesome for me. The fact that it managed to not only entertain random folks on the forums but the people who created these characters and the story as well... that's a ridiculously pleasant bonus I couldn't have hoped for. You guys are ever so swell.
Thank you for the kind comments. I'll try to lurk a little around the forums, see how things go. I do miss the comic and the recent chapters are so cavity-inducing sweet and fluffy it's, like, all I could ever ask for right now. <3
Oh, and SuitCase, I'll definitely try and go read those other fanfics. The promise of wordplay beckons me.
@ NintendoSegaSonyGuy: I've always been heavily inclined to try to adhere to the style choices of 'less is more' and having a strict word economy. As well as being heavily POV-influenced: probably why the story comes off as someone writing a blog-entry in the third person whining about 'no homo srsly' and hatin' on ferns. I can totally understand why that's not everybody's favourite pie flavour, so I am very grateful you still managed to read through it.
Ch. 14: Lani is a golden egg of a side-character, seriously. I like her a lot!
Ch. 15: Um, well. I was eager to wrap it up. Adding another chapter... at the time, I didn't have any more ideas, and adding more might have come off as unnecessary padding, simply because I didn't have any more material left in me. Pacing issues are weird to discuss, since people have different opinions on how things should progress. I'd already written out a lot of angst, and stated indirectly in the chapter with Lani that a lot of time had passed and... most of the story is awkward 'dancing around the issue' stuff... I don't know, I guess I didn't have the mind to write it so it still came across as somewhat 'fresh' and 'entertaining'. Thus the weird curve in pacing. Sorry, man.
As for kissing and stuff? I honestly felt it might have been too 'cliché' or 'forced'. They had just come to deal with the fact I made them gay (sorry boys), plus they have so many other emotional entanglements. Kissing might have added a certain stronger emotional atmosphere, but the point is, that's the last thing they need. It's not something that was realistic at this point in their lives. And I just... I had already taken on a pairing not many people are fond of, I didn't want to shove a(nother) kiss in their face.
Also, no sequel. Sorry.
Sorry for the long post. I'll be lurkin' for a while, if you don't mind.
- 27 June 2012 - 01:43 PM
Also Paulo was all "no dramas dude" and kissing woulda been so drama
- 27 June 2012 - 02:56 PM
- 27 June 2012 - 04:04 PM
I'd also agree with your stylistic decision to economize on words. I think the best tales are those which pack a large punch in just a few well-chosen words. I'd like to see what types of BCB stories you could tell in 500 words or fewer. And actually, you did start a thread for that...
- 27 June 2012 - 07:27 PM
One thing, though- Wilde's novel is Portrait of Dorian Gray, not Picture.
- 07 July 2012 - 09:22 PM
- 08 July 2012 - 09:19 AM
- 08 July 2012 - 12:54 PM
- 08 July 2012 - 01:00 PM
im a huge Yaoi fan (sexual/non-sexual) because i love the connection they have with each other.
i want more MikeXPaulo <3
- 21 March 2013 - 07:00 PM
- 22 March 2013 - 04:15 AM