Bittersweet Candy Bowl Forums

Finally, after 2 projects that didn't even start, and a project that... well we all remember Lt's first try for doing that..... here it comes..

Bittersweet candy bowl, the audiocomic!



You can subscribe to the channel if you wish.

BCB audio comic youtube channel

Feel free to criticize.

Special thanks to Lt_Amazil. Because without his unbreaking spirit, that project would have never seen the light.

This post has been edited by Volgrand: 31 October 2011 - 12:22 AM

It's pretty good, actually! I just think some voices need more emotion though, like Paulo's.
But I really liked Daisy's voice. Mike's too, to an extent (needs a little more emotion, also is kinda nasal).

Also Yashy's voice was weird.

This post has been edited by Hero: 31 October 2011 - 12:44 AM

It's for the most part really good. It's much better than I expected actually

I guess my only real complaint is that some voices lack some emotion, but that's about it.

I loved Daisy's voice, but Paulo and Lucy were honestly practically deadpan.

And dear god Yashy's voice. What.

But yeah, far better than I expected.

This post has been edited by Sparkfur: 31 October 2011 - 12:38 AM

=l dammit, schools hate youtube.

for those who don't know, i'll also be working on a mock trailer for the bittersweet candy bowl movie...also, thanks for the "unbreaking spirit" part volgrand.

Man Amazil, don't spam your projects in the thread!

Anyway guys, we all agreed that we will be listening to your comments. I calculate that after that video we will take longer to make the second chapter, as we will have to change lots of things

Agreeing with what the others said here
Daisy's voice =

Everyone elses was okay

Yashy...

OW, that slap really hurt, judging from the sfx.

Yep. I think I exagerated a little bit with it

its a decent piece of work. exactly what i was expecting in the character voices thread.

i like the use of panning and zoom. the running sound effect was like a horse hoof clopping along.

Volgrand, on 31 October 2011 - 12:47 AM, said:

well, since it's part of the audiocomic, and made FOR the audiocomic, i don't think it's technically spam

Dr. Klaus, on 31 October 2011 - 01:24 AM, said:

oh you know she liked it

Why...is it...that I dislike...Mike, Lucy, and Paulos voices? They seemed kind of bland and too deep to me.

Daisy was perfect! That voice was so cute!

Meanwhile: "They'll summon, park
BEEAAAAARS". While that David voice is quiet, and seems to be low quality, I feel that it was good, and should be left as is. (but it could be a bit clearer)

This post has been edited by asdf: 31 October 2011 - 06:51 AM

Looks like I might be first to deliver a serious critique.

All things considered, I have to say that I believe this is an 'alright' attempt. There's clear evidence of time and effort involved and that's great enough as far as most of Amazil's projects are concerned. Though there's just a few things that seem to take this down a bit from being better in my opinion:

Your intro isn't appealing and looks awful. The whole point of an intro is to catch the viewer's attention; your video begins with an intro sequence proclaiming "We gladly present for all BCB fans" that is proximately 1/4th the window size at the top of the video and is written in what appears to be in Comic-Sans. You have a full 360x360 of resolution space on youtube to play with so why is the welcome that small and up the top of the screen of all places? Your intro should be in the center of the video, it's where people initially focus their concentration.

The next slide of the intro has the title of the movie which was rendered in Powerpoint of all programs. The font choices are bad and so are the colour choices, it doesn't contrast off the background picture and instead merges in with it making most of it unintelligible unless you really squint your eyes.

Why is it like this? This is the intro to the video, it's about as important as the rest of it. It's where you surprise us and catch our attention. You were looking for voice actors for a longest time, why didn't you also look for a digital artist with basic paint program knowledge who could've produced a better looking title? I don't even imagine it could've taken that much effort to ask Suit or Tae for the BCB logo. That alone would've worked better than what you initially have.
-

The actual video starts off with the DJ talking in the middle of the intro to the song, all radio DJ announcements generally happen at the end of a song. Technicalities aside, I thought the initial music selection is an awful choice, it's not exactly a memorable song nor a good one. The initial moment the audio starts should have been repositioned to start a little later, as the singer starts at the precise time Yashy yells "Lift off!" causing a horrible mix and mash of audio.

The sound effect for Yashi falling doesn't sound appropriate and lacks any real power. This is the case for most of the sound effects, some of them sound very generic and are lacking fidelity. They're either too soft, too loud or just don't seem appropriate. You've got expressions in the comic that read "SLAM" but you've got the sound of a door closing normally instead. There's a number of occasions when sound effects could've fit in perfectly and instead there's nothing there.

Already stated by a few people already; Bonbon doesn't sound appropriate for Yashi at all and his microphone doesn't exactly help his case. Frankly I envisioned Yashi having a higher pitched voice similar to Chirpy since they are the same height. On that note though I thought Shada did an excellent job of Chirpy. Though I thought her interpretation of Lily sounded too impulsive than calm and motherly. She does a really impressive job of Daisy, though while it's damned cute, she makes her sound rather ditzy.

Tabris made a good attempt at Lucy but her timing appears to be off on a number of cues, Eg: "Dont. let yashi and chirpy destroy anything." and "You slapped me, on the asssssss".

I'm assuming JB was to voice Mike according to the old thread so I'll ignore his current voice. Frankly I think NSSG sounds alright for Paulo, better than Darkspeed's interpretation, but his voice is rather flat and doesn't show any life, ie Paulo's cheeky demeanor. Amazil, I think Taeshi iterated on a number places that David doesn't sound like a Derpy kid. He's supposed to sound relatively normal like Paulo.
-
Reiterating again, it's a pretty good attempt, but if you went back and fixed up these errors, I believe it would turn out a lot better. Also consider cutting your credits to something that doesn't scroll or take almost a minute of your 4:30 minute video

This post has been edited by LackLuster: 31 October 2011 - 04:10 PM

concerning music, we had a pretty big discussion about that in the cast dropbox discussion. i had given volgrand 2 pretty fitting, and memorable songs (the beginning of "when we first met" by hellogoodbye, and the chorus of "if you're wondering if i want you to (i want you to)" by weezer)

...umm yeah about JB... umm he couldn't participate in chapter 1 due to technical difficulties. also, regarding david's voice, it's a bit instinctive to have david sound derpy. if i do his voice like i would a normal person, it'd sound weird to me.

This post has been edited by lt_amazil: 31 October 2011 - 09:25 PM

LackLuster, on 31 October 2011 - 04:08 PM, said:

I like your critique. It pointed out a lot of things that I can say we need to work on. Whether we'll edit Ch.1 a bit more then re-release it is entirely Volgrand and Amazil's call. But either way, we'll get better as the chapters go on.

Yeah...Volgrand didn't use any of the more appealing lines that I sent him (because trust me, I sent him A LOT of line readings). I realize I sound rather flat, but I'm very new to this stuff, so of course this won't be my best work. I'll be sure to get better and try harder as the project moves forward. Thanks again for the wake up call.

Was I the only one who thought Jordan sounded like a hillbilly?

Other than that, I'm pretty much going with what everyone else said: liked Daisy, didn't like Yashy, hope to hear a better Mike.

I like your critique as well LackLuster, I will try to make Lily sound more motherly. We will discuss this and other critique, then fix it for episode 2.

Well I'm at work and I cannot write a lot now . While I already knew a lot of points that lackluster pointed, he has also pointed lots of things I didn't think. Thank you very much for your time, it helps a lot.

S-sorry about the not so good Yashy voice

NintendoSegaSonyGuy, on 31 October 2011 - 09:58 PM, said:

i don't think we should re-upload. it seems unnecessary, and it'd be better to watch it progress. of course since we're trying to make this as equal as possible, it's up to Volgrand who can agree or veto.

lt_amazil, on 01 November 2011 - 03:10 AM, said:

I think we can search a mix of both. It would be boring for everyone to redo the 1st chapter once and once again until finding the perfect result. I say to continue to doing next chapters, changing what was pointed here, and when we have the best possible result redo the precedent chapters.

Do you agree?

lucy, get your goddamn pets off me :l

why the fuck does david sound like a narc

Lucy actually doesn't sound as bad as I thought, it seems like a much more lighthearted performance than the grumbly one in Darkspeeds' animation, which is an improvement!!!

I just love th slap...is sooooo damn funny......

Good job guys~!

Nice attempt, glad to see you have managed to make something after all this time and effort. Chirpy's voice was nice, I like what you did with the park bears and the turtle too.

I agree with most criticism which has been said so far, one thing I noticed though, your credits are wonky and not properly aligned.

Volgrand, on 01 November 2011 - 07:09 AM, said:

hmm, it seems like a good idea. we'll do it then! i have tomorrow off so i'll be able to work on the trailer

I still don't see the point of a trailer, but Do as you want.

Taeshi, on 01 November 2011 - 07:17 AM, said:

Maybe it sounded too deep?

Taeshi, on 01 November 2011 - 07:17 AM, said:

Hmmm actually I though it sounded funny and... well I don't know, more or less I imagined David with that voice.

Taeshi, on 01 November 2011 - 07:17 AM, said:

What would you recommend to improve it? Personally I think that maybe Tabris should try to speak faster.

Volgrand, on 01 November 2011 - 05:32 PM, said:

Ehhh
I was chillin with an illin, fillin penicillin pills, villain why you grillin me...been slippin 'n' trippin, sippin nothin but Robitussin, wasn't much I could'ha done bout it.
Cain't help dat I was sick dat whole week.
If you want it redone, I could do it again. I also neglected to ask for vocal direction on his lines. I take all blame.

This post has been edited by Dr. Klaus: 01 November 2011 - 11:13 PM

Gey guys.

Just wanted you to know that I am actually in holidays back at my home. So this week I will not be able to work on the project.

And Shada, I m pretty sure I sent you the email with the instrumental to shada8@ etc etc. Check if you have it please.

i believe you mean "HEY guys." we don't wanna insult people. i'm sad to hear that, but since we have much to do, and it'll probably take more than a week to make episode 2, i think it's alright. and also *cough* *cough* don't talk about the instrumentals *cough* *cough* no one here knows about that yet *cough* *cough*god i'm sick*cough*

This post has been edited by lt_amazil: 04 November 2011 - 09:55 AM

You still casting?

yes, but you'll have to fight the current cast for a spot. also, this isn't the place for it the sign-ups belong here http://www.bitterswe...__1#entry191888 send your audition there.

How bout you Volgrand, you still casting?

SevenSilverStripes, on 06 November 2011 - 04:40 AM, said:

since volgrand and i are working together, i don't see how the answer will change, but okay then.

Right, I knew that

Amazil said anything that had to be said. We work together.

ALRIGHTY FOLKS, the mock trailer is now up!

"why the hell are we kissing"

One thing though...
...my hair should be long enough to put in a ponytail.

This post has been edited by Dr. Klaus: 08 November 2011 - 01:11 PM

I really don't know what to think about that, at first it looked like it would be a disaster, it surprised me how it actually turned out though. From 0:30 at "A story about Hate" to 1:05 just before the "About, friendship" appeared seemed a bit cheesy to me.

Everything either side of that was actually pretty good though and I liked it. The initial recruitment, showing the cast, and even the kissing scene were all done very nicely in my opinion. I especially like how some of the cast have their own poses in their images as if they are real photos, like Volgrand, you, and BIP, even Aka standing there with her cheerful smile. Also how the music cuts out and came back strong after the kiss punch...Who is that you are kissing by the way? Shada?

This post has been edited by matty_batty0: 08 November 2011 - 01:53 PM

So then the parts are cast?

A bit too cheesy for my tastes.

Dr. Klaus, on 08 November 2011 - 01:11 PM, said:

well you never gave me a description so i had to guess on yours and bonbon's

matty_batty0, on 08 November 2011 - 01:31 PM, said:

first of all i'm glad you like it, secondly i really wanted an argument scene so it shows a small ounce of struggle that happened. as for the music, it went just as i hoped it would especially in the kiss scene. also, yes that was Shada .

Junior Boomer, on 08 November 2011 - 09:22 PM, said:

yeah, i think when i was making it this video was playing in the back of my mind. ...especially when i wrote "wannabe academy award winner Shada"

Well, at first I was like....

The I was like...

Then I was like and

Finally.... I laughted a lot. Yep, it's kinda funny. You should be carefull with the music level over the voices (I could not understand you almost all the time). And you need a new microphone Amazil

Volgrand, on 09 November 2011 - 11:00 AM, said:

unfortunately i don't have the money for one =[ hopefully i can get one for my birthday.

I think Murderer said it best, I often fear audio versions of comics, mostly because I don't feel they'll get the voices to be the same as they are in my head, get the timing right and, this is going to sound really snobby but most webcomics come from Americans or have Americans as their main fan-base and the usual accent of people who do these things sounds fake (which is ironic because the types of accents I expect are those similar to American TV show accents which are actually fake). But, as Murderer said this turned out pretty well.

Still some criticisms though: the emotion in the voices doesn't seem to live up to that in the comic, however I fully expected and accept this because I find the emotion in the comic very large, and certainly not the level you would expect to be matched in real life (not any criticism on the comic, I actually like it that way). Also, the voice of Daisy seems too deep, I always expected her voice to be very mouse like, bubbly and a bit breathy. Just a point, no disrespect to the voice actor. Finally, as I thought, the timing and the way things are said is occasionally off. However, after watching it a couple of times I realise most of these problems are simply with the way I expect things to go, the timing itself does actually work, just not the way I expected.

As a final compliment, the music and sound effects are very well done!

lt_amazil, on 09 November 2011 - 06:00 AM, said:

I swear I sent it in along with the email containing the mp3...

This post has been edited by Dr. Klaus: 11 November 2011 - 04:02 AM

lt_amazil, on 09 November 2011 - 06:00 AM, said:

Oh sorry I forgot to give you the picture, ermm.
Wait, what was the picture for again and where am I in this?

He doesn't need a new Mic, he needs to learn how to remove background noise.

It's quite easy with Audacity.

BonBonToro, on 11 November 2011 - 08:22 PM, said:

At first I had noticed that BonBon wasn't in the opening scenes, but now that he mentions it, he isn't in the cast listing at the end either.