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God i hope im not shitposting


so, there's this girl i like, and i really think she likes me.
I would ask her out or something, but i don't know if i could handle a relationship outside of school.
I've only got decent grades, i'm not very social in the first place (although, around her, talking is just much easier )
I live with my dad and step-mom, who are both very protective and i doubt they'd let me go somewhere alone
I'm a bit of a nerd and i don't think she is a gamer like me.
Really, the only time i go out, is when its to Walmart (BTW, Walmart is more busy than malls here in central Florida)and thats to buy food with my parents.
the last time i went out to do something with my friends, it was 2 years ago, to go play paintball (very fun BTW)
Typically, my day consists of: waking up, go to school, go home, do school work, play games in last few hours, bed.
i dont have a job yet, but im looking (stupid economy) and that will fill more time.
i don't have a cellphone, only house phone, that gets shared. (ofcourse, i'm the only one in my family that doesn't have one )

Probably the worst part of this all, I've only been in 1.5 relationships before (the .5 is because, well i don't count long-term phone talks as a relationship)
I don't know what it takes to keep her happy,but before i met her, i just was so mopey and depressed, and now, I actually feel happy.
I just don't know if having a relationship outside of school would be good for her. way i see it, my time orientation, limitations, and social-awkwardness
would just make it hard for us to really have something.

please, help prove me wrong and tell me how i could make this work!

She's really nice, fun, smart, and perky. She's the only girl who i could spend all day gathering the courage to say how i feel, but when i see her, get really nervous and and can do nothing but talk to her!

This post has been edited by star adder: 05 November 2011 - 04:19 AM

Well first of all don't compare her to the characters here. That might fool you into something different.

Also just make sure you have that confidence up and believe that what you want to happen in the relationship will happen for you. As far as I know women love confident men regardless of how "socially awkward" you are. If she feels the same about you then don't worry about having a job or a cell phone just have fun doing the things you usually do with her. You can hang out and have fun without money or video games.

Just make sure you're ready to ask her out. Get to know her a little more. Try and get to know her intimate side so you have an idea of what you're getting into. If you can ask her friends what kind of things she likes. Or just start being super nice and pleasant around her and she how she responds to you. Not only will it score you points but it will also help you break your social standing.

Good Luck to you and I hope this helps.

How did this previous relationship go? You managed that one didn't you? What is the difference between that one and this one?

I have absolutely no right to decide whether this would be a shitpost or not.

First, if you really wanted a relationship you'd just make it work, phone access or not. Sometimes you'll need that, sometimes you can just get online and talk to her. As long as you keep conversing with her (as opposed to say, bitching), you're doing good.

Second, relax. If there's even a chance to for you two to be happy for awhile, you are obligated to try it. Ideally, try to spend some time with her until you build up a comfort zone, and then just articulate how you feel about her as confidently and sincerely as you can. Don't expect an outcome, just get it off your chest and what will be will be. And if you're rejected? Then you're rejected, but you got social experience under your belt by doing so and it seems to me you need that more than you'd need a relationship.

Finally: you are going to commit to this. I realize that a wall of text on the internet can only do so much for the person at the keyboard, but it doesn't mean any less when I say you owe it to yourself to see this through regardless of the outcome. This is how you grow up, and the sooner you try chipping away at that awkwardness, the sooner you can get past it, over it and on to the truly important things in life like getting a good job or just being happy with who you are.

the last one? it was 4 years ago (first year of middle school) and well, it was well. we talked, passed notes, kissed. making-out was the most intimate we got. Then i listened to rumors, and before i even heard the whole thing or asked her, i thought she was cheating and just stopped seeing her. then she moved across the US.

ya, i realize that was a complete idiotic move on my part and will never do it again.

just last year, i apologized over the phone, and we tried to have a long-distance thing. I learned that i hate talking over a phone for more than an hour, staying up past midnight(EVERY NIGHT)and dealing with her bosnian problems when i can't even see her (that was the .5)

the difference? this ones not a whiny bitch who has multiple stories of her friend/brother (as in she likes him as a brother status) getting her undressed.
This one, i can see and talk to without a piece of metal burning my face for hours

This post has been edited by star adder: 05 November 2011 - 04:40 AM

Jerk....that was really good. Fuck i'm all inspired now.

Agree with Jerk. He knows his shit.

Yeah, what Jerk said. His last paragraph especially is spot-on: I had to do the same thing myself. In my case, we ended up not clicking together, but the experience was valuable and helped me to grow, and I definitely don't regret making the effort.

What Jerk said.

Took me many tries to understand it myself, and wish someone had told me sooner.

It would probably do well for you to tell her how you feel. You don't have to jump into a relationship right away. If she feels similarly, talk to her about the logistics of it all, and if you both agree that it can be done and you're both ready for it, then step up to the plate, slugger!

damn. you and I are very much alike. cept i decided to stay friends with this girl i like and wrote a song for. I'm waging technology wars with my father, and I'm so accustomed to my freetime that i don't have room for anyone else not that i really want anyone else anymore. every relationship i was in i was screwed over. and i was too blind to see it at the time. even my closest friend that was the closest thing i had to a real girlfriend lied to me. I just can't trust anybody anymore. I lose my self in my hobbies and i am fulfilled. wow. I just wrote a paragraph about me.

I say goodluck, but I would stay friends for awhile. friendship beats the hell out of a girlfriend, took me awhile to see that.

Relationships are complicated... I just got out of a long term relationship with my long-term boyfriend. (single life is so boring -_-)

Alright. So first things first; if you really want to be with this girl, then you'll overcome your fears and ask her out. It doesn't really matter how you keep in touch with her, as long as you're talking with her. Constant communication is very important in a relationship.

Secondly, try and take a step back and gather all of the information you can about the situation. If you really do like her, I suggest trying to become her friend before dating her. That way you'll know the ins and outs of who she is as a person. And as you go along your way, surprise her with little things that you'll know she likes. When and if you do ask her out, don't be afraid. Get what you need to say out, and don't expect any particular outcome to come of it, because you'll either set yourself up for failure or get your hopes up and come crashing down. Either way, having that kind of... of an experience will definitely help you assess future relationships.

Lastly, you gotta make sure this is what you want to do. You can't go into this, get knee-deep in and say "oh, no, i don't want this anymore". You have to be committed. Relationships are part of growing up and getting older. Asking people out never really gets any less awkward, you just get used to and learn how to handle those situations in a mature and less-awkward manner. And if she ends up liking you, and wants to be in a relationship, your nerdiness and geeky side won't matter to her, so don't worry ^_^

Good luck.

Relationships.... SIGH =P I've got so much drama going on regarding them, I feel like I'm an expert on this. =P

THATS IT!
i'm going to ask her next weekend (this weekend is my cousins wedding )

Go luck to ya =)) I'm sure you'll do fine. Let us know what happens =D

I'm rooting for ya!!

Hah, relationships.


..

Anyway, good luck in that attempt

I can assure you any pessimism you might sense in this post is not there and you're merely imagining it.

(Gosh, what, I'm actually really honestly not being ironic what the hell)

GO GET THAT ASS.

TheMysteriousMan, on 08 November 2011 - 05:27 PM, said:

Win.

Pro-tip son: Get to know her. How long you known her? Has been longer than two months? Getting into a relationship without knowing the person of interest and knowing yourself is just asking for a hardcore suckerpunch to the heart bro.

Yeah, that's a big thing I would say too. I know that I screwed up my last relationship because i rushed into it way too quickly. I hung out with her a few times, and we felt a connection, so we went for it. We didn't get to know each other NEARLY well enough before actually going out, and so that caused the downfall of our relationship (we still hang out and stuff though, so that's good ). Make sure you hang out with her a lot before making a move, and make sure that you're not being impulsive. That's the only advice I can give. If you really like her, I say go for it. :3

I can also speak for the "don't rush into anything" bit. My last girlfriend and I were set up by friends. We saw each other a couple times, then decided to make a relationship out of it because we got along really well. She broke up with me 4 months later (maybe 5, can't quite remember the timing) because "we didn't have time for each other", but considering she stopped acknowledging my existence, I'm pretty sure she didn't like me as much as she had thought (probably because of my drinking, and other things too probably, like being a depressive piece-of-shit).

just fucking typical, shes taken!

this is the 4th girl whom I like, and I could swear they like me,
but I end up finding them tonguing some other guy.

just when i was about to ask how she felt about me,
she boasts about this other guy shes seeing

This post has been edited by star adder: 14 November 2011 - 10:20 PM

Are any of your teachers hot? Best to plan for alternatives.

This post has been edited by Purin: 14 November 2011 - 10:21 PM

any teacher ive seen are 30+
either way, i wouldn't consider it.

MILF or maybe GILF nowadays

Admit it, Purin. You're hot for Lani Amalu.

He's got her as a fursuit and enough Rohypnol to act out whatever fantasy with her he wants.

star adder, on 14 November 2011 - 10:18 PM, said:

Now, um, you put this in a negative connotation, as though you blame her... Or is it just me?

Either way, the best thing you can do is be happy for her (be happy for her happiness, I s'pose) and move on. Or wait. It depends on how much you care and how transient you believe her relationship is.

well, she was the only girl who i could talk with without either of us getting bored.
everyday she would hug me, and i mean full embracing, not just a girl free hug thing(a bit clingy, but i liked it).
occasionally, she would even sit on my lap with me holding her.
but, she isn't whorish, just really nice and caring

to me, it seems she is just very ignorant on how much that could mean,
or she was trying to play with my emotions.

shes very nice, so i'm going with the ignorance.

Jerk, on 15 November 2011 - 02:16 AM, said:

There isn't enough Rohypnol in the world to replace a fleshlight. I mean what?

she started bragging about her boyfriend because she picked up on your vibe and wanted to set some boundaries.

it was her friend who said it first, then she showed me a text from the guy

Ouch . But hey maybe some other chicks can come soon
Wish you some luck

Jerk, on 15 November 2011 - 02:41 AM, said:

That is what it sounds like to me, at least an awkward situation was avoided, right?

Just wondering, why did you get shown a text from the guy? And what will you do now? Are things weird between you two now or what?

This post has been edited by matty_batty0: 15 November 2011 - 08:50 AM

Don't worry Star, these things take a lot of time. If you give it enough time, she could break up with him and then go to her, but take time. Time is the key, and don't stalk her. Stalking her isn't good.

matty_batty0, on 15 November 2011 - 08:48 AM, said:

she was showing off because apparently the other guy is hot. i suppose things will just stay the same, its not like i told her how i felt yet. and no things aren't weird between us, just hope she doesn't want to sit on my lap anymore (especailly since her dad is the teacher )

This is a case of "didn't find out everything". I try to avoid situations like this by spending a LOT of time finding out about the person first.

For example, my school has these thing called "block days" on Wednesday and Thursday (on Wednesday there's only odd periods, so 1, 3, 5, 7, and Thursday there's only even, so 2, 4, 6, 8) and to make up for people who don't have a lunch period, both days include a 35 minute "block lunch" for the entire school. Since they could spend the time with anyone they wished to, I hang out with them for a couple weeks during Block Lunch to see what the deal is. One girl I was interested in earlier in the year spends her block lunch with some other guy more often than not (she also shares a locker with him, along with like 5 other people) so I decided to not get my hopes up. As for the girl I'm chasing after now, I'm the only guy that hangs out with her during Block Lunch; all the other people are girls (most of whom I already know).

Aside from a trip to Italy I took over the summer, my record lowest time spent getting to know a girl before asking them out is about 8 months, which was in 7th grade. And the girl actually made moves on me first, which obviously made it easier. I knew my second girlfriend for a year before we started to get close. And now I'm going for a record two or three months.

tl;dr Take your time and get to know as much as possible about them. It'll work out better in the end.

star adder, on 15 November 2011 - 11:59 AM, said:

Fair enough with no more lap sitting, but why didn't the teacher thing matter before?

holy cow this guy is almost the same person as me except I'm .5 relationships less and was never mopey. Go and ask that chick out unless it will stress you to much in which case it is best to be friends

matty_batty0, on 15 November 2011 - 05:15 PM, said:

really, after i thought about it, it didn't and doesn't matter. it's not like hes said anything about us.

ok, now iv'e really reconsidered even asking her at all.
found out she smokes cigs and joints, which, im completely against .
unless, of course, she was making it up to look cool, but that would mean shes just stupid

star adder, on 15 November 2011 - 09:44 PM, said:

Great job

You never know someone until you try to get into their pants.

...

So you either assume she's a liar or make a prejudiced decision about her character regarding something you know virtually nothing about.

Maybe you should wait before you date.

jerk, she went into details about how her sisters got her into smoking.
I get enough smoke from my mom.
Whenever I return to my dads house after visiting my mom, he questions me if I was smoking.
I have a smokers cough, and I DONT EVEN SMOKE!
I certainly wouldn't want to be with someone whos already addicted to the crap, let alone marijuana or whatever its called.

so again i state, I'm completely against smoking, and if shes bullshitting it up, than shes just being retarded.

This post has been edited by star adder: 16 November 2011 - 01:31 AM

Boohoo. You find out some detail deal-breaker about your latest crush.

Tough tits, kid. You will spend entire relationships learning to put up with stupid shit. Get over yourself. At some point you have to say "fuck it" and just

I believe i misunderstood you earlier, i thought you were saying i was wrong for not liking her smoking habits.
i'm already over her, nice gif BTW

anyway, i suppose this thread can be closed if any moderators take notice

This post has been edited by star adder: 16 November 2011 - 02:11 AM

...or it could be turned into a general relationship advice thread if there isn't one already?

sounds like an excellent plan Detta.
so, i guess if anyone is having problems, come here, explain your situation and, i suppose get help/sympathy.

It's really good for you at this point to point out what you can and can't deal with in a relationship. I dated a smoker for awhile, and I didn't smoke. It bothered me at first but I got over it once he respected me for not being a smoker and me respecting his decision. It didn't affect our relationship, it was just one of the things we didn't have in common which is completely fine (there were PLENTY of other things we did have in common). Since you don't have much experience in relationships just yet, it's going to be trial and error for a bit and there will be some hard feelings from time to time. This is how we learn best sometimes...particularly in social interactions. Then, you learn how to deal with it effectively.

Another thing is if you are looking for a long-term relationship with this girl or just want to experience a bit of dating? If it is the first, I would assess how you feel about yourself first and how you feel around others besides this one girl. It doesn't sound like you get out much and interact with people which isn't necessarily your fault because of the environment you grew up in. If you desire to go out and do more, have you considered an after school activity/club that maybe you can compromise with your parents? If your passionate about video games or perhaps something else (for example I meet once a week with a group of friends to go rock climbing), there might be something out there for you that might be worth while. Sometimes when we converse and interact with others with similar passions, it makes socialization a hell of a lot easier. This also builds confidence in you with respect to others outside the group and you feel better about yourself. I am, by no means, suggesting that this is necessary, but if it is something that interests you then why not give it a try to see how you feel about it?


So if I were to give advice, I would say: know and learn what you want and makes you happy and what you don't want, What are you willing to put up with, and have fun and enjoy life .

Detta, on 16 November 2011 - 02:24 AM, said:

Now are we talking about giving advice about relationships in general or waiting for someone to ask for help?

Because I can do either, but I'm just curious.