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Insult Thread: Limericks vs. Haikus

The goal of this thread is to insult the person posting above you. However, there is a catch: You can only post in limerick or haiku, alternating.

For example, person 1 writes a limerick. Then person 2 writes a haiku insulting person 1. Then, person 3 picks the better insult out of the two posters above them and then writes a limerick insulting person 2.

This way, we should find the most effective means of insult. Which poetic style will win? Limericks with their potential for nonsensical slurs? Or haiku, with their simple, straight-to-the-point stings?

Keep in mind that you may have to edit your posts, and please keep tally of the winning poetic style at the end of your post. Winners will be declared on the bottom of every fifth page. After that, the scores will reset.

Next post starts the game with a limerick.

This post has been edited by Kaxbe: 27 November 2011 - 12:47 AM

  • #1
  • 27 November 2011 - 12:21 AM
There once was a man named Kaxbe
He's the poster right above me.
He's a bit hypocritical
And rather, quite cynical!
But I don't think he cares.

Next is a Haiku

This post has been edited by Shada: 27 November 2011 - 12:31 AM

  • #2
  • 27 November 2011 - 12:31 AM
Shada's lines lack flow
Your rhyming scheme is messy
You just really suck.
  • #3
  • 27 November 2011 - 12:34 AM
once there was a man named kax
who devoured semen like snacks
the only thing he would lick
was hefty loads of the dick
which he would proceed to blow like a sax

edit: oh i guess im supposed to say which one i liked more and i guess thats kaxbe because shadas limerick didnt flow real well IMO

This post has been edited by whf: 27 November 2011 - 12:39 AM

  • #4
  • 27 November 2011 - 12:36 AM
snooths your artwork sucks
I'm sure you suck lots of balls
You should just quit now

OHGOD LETS HOPE I COUNTED RIGHT

whf wins for me!

Limerick:1
Haiku:1

This post has been edited by Carmen: 27 November 2011 - 12:46 AM

  • #5
  • 27 November 2011 - 12:44 AM
There was a girl who was a tease
Whose legs were open in the breeze
She would always go wild
and was frequent with child
but would abort them as quick as a sneeze.

Snooths won out of you two.
  • #6
  • 27 November 2011 - 12:51 AM
Kaxbe's a whore bitch
His limericks are complete shit
Go die in a ditch

Also, between Kaxbe and Carmen, Kaxbe definitely won
  • #7
  • 27 November 2011 - 11:05 AM
Storm thought he would write a haiku
Though he knew that his brain cells were few
He wrote down a bit
But his insults were shit
And wrecked his poetic debut

Gabe wins, obviously.
  • #8
  • 27 November 2011 - 06:00 PM
It's hard to compete
with a limerick so sweet
not bad for a fag

Jerk wins, how could he not?


Limerick 4
Haiku 1

This post has been edited by Bourbon: 27 November 2011 - 06:19 PM

  • #9
  • 27 November 2011 - 06:18 PM
There was a douche named Bourbon,
Who spent all his time at a hentaicon,
But try as he might,
Not even that sight,
could get his two-inch dick a hard-on.

Jerk won.

Limerick 5
Haiku 1

This post has been edited by Sparkfur: 27 November 2011 - 06:29 PM

  • #10
  • 27 November 2011 - 06:29 PM
Spark eats massive dick
He slathers it on his face
He thinks its sausage



Oh shit...I'm going with spark, the ending was magnifico.

This post has been edited by CaptainBaconMan: 27 November 2011 - 06:42 PM

  • #11
  • 27 November 2011 - 06:41 PM
His suit itches, his
Strategically placed hole
Is in disrepair

Quote

The haiku that reveals seventy to eighty percent of its subject is good. Those that reveal fifty to sixty percent, we never tire of. - Matsuo Basho


Bourbon won, but only because I found Sparkfur's rhyme-scheme less tolerable.
  • #12
  • 27 November 2011 - 06:44 PM
There once was a thing named Jerk
He had to do the most work
While on a rock,
Sucking hard on a cock
He slipped and fell off with the turk

Jerk won... What's the score?

This post has been edited by The Swimmer: 27 November 2011 - 07:02 PM

  • #13
  • 27 November 2011 - 06:59 PM
WHY YOU SKIP ME JERK?
  • #14
  • 27 November 2011 - 07:20 PM
I WAS STILL WORKING ON MINE WHEN YOU POSTED AND THEN I WAS LIKE "WELL, FUCK IT, I REALLY LIKE MINE" SO I LEFT IT UP.
  • #15
  • 27 November 2011 - 07:29 PM
Captain Bacon sucks
While Jerk is just plain lazy
Suck my dick, bitches
  • #16
  • 27 November 2011 - 08:11 PM
Kaxbe may know the future,
But concepts he cannnot quite capture,
When he's having sex,
with the user named Rex,
his ejaculation is quite premature.

Kaxbe won that.

Limerick 6
Haiku 3
  • #17
  • 27 November 2011 - 08:53 PM
Why attempt, Sparkfur?
You can't limerick for shit
you're gayer than AIDS

Kaxbe won again

Limerick 6
Haiku 4
  • #18
  • 27 November 2011 - 09:12 PM
His logic is that of a fool
His kindness is quite cruel
He can't grow his dick's size
No matter how hard he tries
He's simply quite the tool

Bourbon won that.

Limerick 6
Haiku 5

EDIT: And being insulting is so difficult... ;__;

This post has been edited by Lux Aeterna: 27 November 2011 - 09:48 PM

  • #19
  • 27 November 2011 - 09:45 PM
He falls to the floor
Sobbing as he wipes away
His father's semen
  • #20
  • 27 November 2011 - 10:07 PM
You know your destination
You get there without confrontation
Goodbye, illusionary friend
The session is at the end
Of your daily masturbation

I hope I understood what a limerick is.
Also sorry for the terrible idea. My creativity goes to shiiii after midnight.

edit. a person that thinks fag is a weak insult should not vote here. So I won't.

This post has been edited by Arnas Baubkus: 27 November 2011 - 10:35 PM

  • #21
  • 27 November 2011 - 10:24 PM
His words make no sense
No creativity, just
Kill yourself, dumbass

Jerk won.

Limerick 6
Haiku 6

WHY IS NO ONE DOING THIS ANYMORE ^
  • #22
  • 27 November 2011 - 10:28 PM
At birth his mom cried
A girl destined for greatness!
wait no that's a dick.

Blast, ninja'd. EDIT:

Hare pounds out his lines oh so quick
No talent; hopes speed does the trick
I, tortoise, agree
you wrote fast poetry,
but in skill you were thoroughly licked.

also, Lux won.

This post has been edited by Quaddy: 27 November 2011 - 10:46 PM

  • #23
  • 27 November 2011 - 10:32 PM
Thinks he's a genius
But what me makes up with brains
He lacks in penis.

Also, Quaddy wins.

Limerick 7
Haiku 6

This post has been edited by Jorje: 27 November 2011 - 11:49 PM

  • #24
  • 27 November 2011 - 11:48 PM
Your size, I cannot abuse,
'cause by your mom’s word, it is huge!
But for what it’s worth
your oversized girth
shall tragically, never be used.

I feel I can't really make a fair ruling here.
  • #25
  • 27 November 2011 - 11:57 PM
Just make up your mind
It's not a hard concept, man
don't be a faggot

I'll vote Quaddy, even though for some reason his insult was 'you have a large, mint condition penis'.

Limerick 8
Haiku 6
  • #26
  • 28 November 2011 - 12:43 AM
There once was a young forumite
Whose Limerick was simply not right!
if you ask Quaddy why,
he'll just tell you, "I
really could not fit an accurate description of the sheer douchebaggery of Bourbon into a standard form limerick. I mean, that tiny, poorly drawn smile, the inability to grasp simple concepts, the abuse of the word 'faggot' as a generic insult when any human being with a functioning brain could have thought up something more original, Jesus, My opinion of Boubon would simply not fit into a limerick as we know it. Really I should have waited so I could judge to poems that weren't mine, but I could not pass up the chance to insult Bourbon

I.
vote.
Quaddy.

I made up my mind.


(limerick 9
haiku 6)

This post has been edited by Quaddy: 28 November 2011 - 12:57 AM

  • #27
  • 28 November 2011 - 12:54 AM
Quaddy waves his ass
In the air hoping someone
Will ram it roughly

With his posts, Quaddy
Scrapes quality threads from the
Forum's uterus

PS: Bourbon won that round easily. Jesus Christ.
  • #28
  • 28 November 2011 - 02:44 AM
Only said fag twice
yet still got his panties twisted
it was a haiku


I vote that I won, on the grounds that you mocked my limerick skills when I didn't write one, then failed at being funny in your own. Faggot.

Edit: damn, ninja'd. Well, I'll leave that one as a present. Jerk won.

You like to think you're so dapper
by acting like nothing's the matter
yet deep down inside
there's a heart that you hide
that's crying because you can't have her

This post has been edited by Bourbon: 28 November 2011 - 02:54 AM

  • #29
  • 28 November 2011 - 02:49 AM
Your visage is gross,
You a coprophiliac?
'Cuz it's on your face.

Limerick 10
Haiku 8

I'm not really sure about this, but I think Bourbon won that.

This post has been edited by Sparkfur: 28 November 2011 - 03:10 AM

  • #30
  • 28 November 2011 - 03:08 AM
Sparkfur is a disgusting furry
Who would jerk off in a hurry
laptop covered in cum,
he'd lick it and say "yum"
"It's thick and as spicy as curry".

Bourbon won, if only because it was unexpectedly harsh... Like, seriously dude... That was a really low blow.

This post has been edited by Kaxbe: 28 November 2011 - 01:14 PM

  • #31
  • 28 November 2011 - 12:45 PM
Your meter's so forced
when you shoved it up your ass
shoulda used more lube.


Sparkfur wins for creativity :D

Haiku 9, limerick 11
  • #32
  • 28 November 2011 - 12:59 PM
With subtlety just out of reach
Quaddy tried for a moment to teach
So he wrote something down
But hit "post" with a frown
Since he can't practice what he can preach

Gabe wins, and should probably know I found Bourbon's fucking hilarious. :D
  • #33
  • 28 November 2011 - 01:55 PM
He cries every night
and drinks to forget the truth
that no one loves him.

Tough call, But I'm going to say Jerk wins.

V.2.0

He can't get it up
Erectile Dysfunction
Tears hit his limp dick.

This post has been edited by Jorje: 28 November 2011 - 02:46 PM

  • #34
  • 28 November 2011 - 02:36 PM
His name is written like some nordic shit
And his writing is comparable to it in wit
And I think he will cry
As he sucks on, oh my,
his mother's dried up hairy tit.
I vote Jorje. Oh wait, that's 6 syllables on the second one. Dumbass.

Jerk it is.

This post has been edited by Phantaruz: 28 November 2011 - 07:06 PM

  • #35
  • 28 November 2011 - 07:01 PM
He gathers his words
And sprays them like Zyclon B
Not bad for a Jew

SORRY JORJE, that round goes to the new kid.
  • #36
  • 28 November 2011 - 07:09 PM
Trying to insult with holocaust jokes
maybe you should focus less on penis strokes
you think that im hurt
as your partner squirts
And to anal you try him to coax.

I vote for Jerk.
Btw, I am only a jew in the national meaning , word-faggot. I am an atheist, much like yourself.

This post has been edited by Phantaruz: 28 November 2011 - 07:25 PM

  • #37
  • 28 November 2011 - 07:24 PM
A self righteous jew
"actually, I'm atheist"
like we give a shit

my vote goes to Jerk, if only because Phantgasm's last line fell flat.
  • #38
  • 28 November 2011 - 08:25 PM
"oh gosh" the dried semen says in the pic
I wonder from whose shrivelled old dick
This piece of shit comes,
inside the bums
Of his dad covered in oil slick.

Meh, still a bit rusty. Bourbon wins for me.

This post has been edited by Phantaruz: 28 November 2011 - 08:39 PM

  • #39
  • 28 November 2011 - 08:39 PM
You lack common sense.
Posting every other post.
Give others a chance.

But yeah, in all honesty, dude... give some time between posts. You're monopolizing the limericks. I vote for Bourbon because your stuff is actually already getting stale.
  • #40
  • 28 November 2011 - 08:51 PM
Limericks are stupid, but I'll still try.
I hate you lots, and really wish you'd die.
A stupid little runt
from your mother's cunt
and your avatar's fucking Pinkie Pie!

Kaxbe wins
Oil slick?
  • #41
  • 28 November 2011 - 09:15 PM
But Haikus are worse.
Limericks are easier.
Mojo's a nigger.
  • #42
  • 29 November 2011 - 01:38 AM
Your skills are lacking
Did you say 'I hate you lots'?
How old are you, five?

Kaxbe wins, and I also agree you shouldn't post if you're able to judge yourself.

Jesus, you beat me by like a minute, not even. Fuck, limerick, limerick...

On Jorje's night of conception
his folks should have used contraception
and if they only knew
the douche he'd grow into
mom would swallow without apprehension

This post has been edited by Bourbon: 29 November 2011 - 02:02 AM

  • #43
  • 29 November 2011 - 01:38 AM
Bourbon's mother wipes
Her semen-stained cunt as his
Dad pays her then leaves

Bourbon wins.
I will take all of you nigger faggot Jew women out with haiku alone.
  • #44
  • 29 November 2011 - 03:35 AM
Jerk is a pig and a skunk.
He's a ghoul and a jerk and a punk.
He's a phlegm-basted clod,
An androgynous fraud,
He's pugnacious, the terrible drunk.
 
  • #45
  • 29 November 2011 - 03:47 AM
asdf just
took my spot, and for that he
will pay quite dearly.

Jerk won

This post has been edited by Codysseus: 29 November 2011 - 03:51 AM

  • #46
  • 29 November 2011 - 03:48 AM
Cody must think that he's funny
and that his girlfriend is his hunny
But he must not know
that she is a ho
and that cunt better get me my money.

asdf wins

This post has been edited by Jorje: 29 November 2011 - 03:56 AM

  • #47
  • 29 November 2011 - 03:53 AM
Jesus Christ it was
five minutes ago that I
left my haiku here.

Disregard me I
was responding to Jorje
you should type faster.

This post has been edited by Codysseus: 29 November 2011 - 04:10 AM

  • #48
  • 29 November 2011 - 03:54 AM
I'm sorry to skip all you rascals
this may sound like childish prattle
but it must be said
asdf has fled
and lets Google fight all of his battles

Cody would rather post rhymes
but it appears that he hasn't the time
with balls navy blue
and no one to screw
he instead humps a cat (which is fine)

Tired reference is tired, but meh. Jorje wins for the last line, up until then it was pretty mediocre.

This post has been edited by Bourbon: 29 November 2011 - 06:03 AM

  • #49
  • 29 November 2011 - 05:19 AM
Illusion master
Yet acts like a sick bastard
Was shoved up his ass

Bourbon won

This post has been edited by The Swimmer: 29 November 2011 - 05:25 AM

  • #50
  • 29 November 2011 - 05:24 AM
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