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Corrupt-a-wish For the litteralist in all of us

Granted. You are now an eggplant, which is rich in potassium :D

I wish I wasn't sick :/
  • #721
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:06 AM
You can no longer bust rhymes and drop hot beats.

By the way, you've been gone for a while! How you been?

I wish the KKK hadn't taken my baby away.
  • #722
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:10 AM
Granted. Al Queda did.

I'm good! Holidays are a bit crazy plus was out of the country for a bit making internet hard to get to. Hope your holidays were awesome!

I wish the Wii's online system was better.
  • #723
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:18 AM
Granted. It has no online system, which is better than what they have now.

I wish I had a robot girlfriend.
  • #724
  • 02 January 2011 - 04:33 AM
Granted. but before you can do anything, she goes insane and kills you.

i wish i could get any video game i wanted for at least half-price!
  • #725
  • 02 January 2011 - 04:35 AM
Granted. All of the video games you buy are priced at 150%, which is still at least 50%.

I wish for some moderately warm hot chocolate.

This post has been edited by Seg: 02 January 2011 - 05:02 AM

  • #726
  • 02 January 2011 - 05:01 AM
Granted, but you spill it everywhere!

I wish nothing bad could ever happen to me

This post has been edited by Baconator: 02 January 2011 - 05:03 AM

  • #727
  • 02 January 2011 - 05:02 AM
  • SushiJaguar
  • Internet Tough Guy<br>P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
    Member
Granted, but everything bad by your perception is actually the best things that could happen to a human.

I wish I had a self-refilling bottle of Magner's.
  • #728
  • 02 January 2011 - 06:04 AM
Granted. You keep on using it, until it malfunctions and causes a flood.

I wish for a laptop with a holographic display.
  • #729
  • 02 January 2011 - 10:38 AM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Granted. Your thighs are now displayed holographically to everybody within a distance of fifty metres.

That does sound rather silly. ^_^

I wish this band I like would release an album soon.
  • #730
  • 02 January 2011 - 12:29 PM
Granted. Said band rushed the album just for you, and it sucks horribly. They tank their career.

I wish I didn't have writer's block.
  • #731
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:03 PM
  • Craft aids
  • That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
    Banned
Now you write the first thing that coes to mind and it always sucks horridly.

I wish that harry potter movies 3-6 didn't suck.
  • #732
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:06 PM
Granted. They were fantastic, but like many fantastic movies, they didn't feature enough explosions and special effects to keep the interest of a young audience, and they flopped at the box office.

I wish I December 26 - January 2nd were omitted from the calendar.
  • #733
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:10 PM
  • Craft aids
  • That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
    Banned
We are currently in january 2nd.
the 2nd was removed.
We were removed.
The world is saved from humans.

I wish I could fly.
  • #734
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:13 PM
Granted. Your arms are replaced with bat-wings, and you are unable to do the simplest tasks a human can do. Fly away!

I wish it wasn't cold outside.
  • #735
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:16 PM
  • Craft aids
  • That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
    Banned
Bat wings are actualy very capable. Try again.
  • #736
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:17 PM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Granted. It is now searingly hot outside, and inanely cold inside.

I wish I knew the ups and downs of a harp.
  • #737
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:18 PM
  • Craft aids
  • That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
    Banned
You forget the middles.


now then

Bat wings are actualy very capable. Try again.
I wish I could fly.
  • #738
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:19 PM
Granted. Your arms are replaced with grasshopper wings, and you are unable to do the simplest tasks a human can do. Fly away! :P

I wish I could come up with better wishes this morning.

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 02 January 2011 - 03:20 PM

  • #739
  • 02 January 2011 - 03:19 PM
Granted, except they all come true.

Including the hideously devious corruptions.

Your life now sucks horribly.

I wish it was impossible for the next person to post to corrupt wishes.

This post has been edited by entertained: 02 January 2011 - 07:23 PM

  • #740
  • 02 January 2011 - 07:22 PM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Granted. However, since I do not post to corrupt wishes but to provide wishes for corruption, your ploy fails. :smirk:

I wish it was possible to have fifty replies per topic page.
  • #741
  • 02 January 2011 - 07:25 PM
Granted, except all of the replies were made by horny, dirty hobos who now know where you live and are currently traveling towards your house to rape you.

I wish I was dead.
  • #742
  • 02 January 2011 - 07:30 PM
Granted. However, I was the murderer, and I raped the body.

Your anus now sucks horribly.

I wish ILB would post to corrupt wishes.

This post has been edited by entertained: 02 January 2011 - 07:41 PM

  • #743
  • 02 January 2011 - 07:38 PM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Granted.

I wish I could post my wish without repeating myself. ^_^
  • #744
  • 02 January 2011 - 07:56 PM
Granted, you just need to try harder.

I wish I had a penis-free pizza.

This post has been edited by Wolf: 02 January 2011 - 08:03 PM

  • #745
  • 02 January 2011 - 08:03 PM
Granted. The soda, however, is filled to the brim with cocks.

Your unhealthy meal now sucks horribly.


I wish Kaxbe would post a video on YouTube of him singing the BCB theme song.

With a German accent.
  • #746
  • 02 January 2011 - 08:31 PM
Granted. But then he deleted the video off youtube before you got to see it.
I wish my friend would stop whining and give me some chewing gum.
  • #747
  • 02 January 2011 - 09:08 PM
granted but the gum is misspelt and you end up chewing a gun. you die horribly.

I wish My milk shake brought all the boys to the yard.
  • #748
  • 02 January 2011 - 09:10 PM
Granted, however they were like : "it's better then yours.".
  • #749
  • 03 January 2011 - 03:54 AM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Do you have a wish for us, too, Wolf? Otherwise I will have to grant you emptiness. ^_^
  • #750
  • 03 January 2011 - 12:37 PM
Your emptiness is granted. there is no upside. you are an unemaginable void. you can't even think anymore because a though would fill the emptyness and render it no longer empty.

I wish Australia would sink
  • #751
  • 03 January 2011 - 05:15 PM
Granted. You will now have to live with the fact that you just killed 22,521,155 people in cold blood.

I wish I had a tame wolf as a pet.
  • #752
  • 03 January 2011 - 05:18 PM
Granted. The wolf, however, is only tame around you, and in your absence it kills and eats stray children.

I wish I had a Sandy Bridge processor.

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 03 January 2011 - 05:21 PM

  • #753
  • 03 January 2011 - 05:20 PM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Granted. You now have a machine that can process sandy bridges, and nothing else.

I wish I was a bird. ^_^
  • #754
  • 03 January 2011 - 05:38 PM
Granted. you fly right into a window and brake your neck.

I wish i could stop posting rubbish on the internet.
  • #755
  • 03 January 2011 - 05:49 PM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Granted. You stop posting on the Internet altogether.

That sounds mean, but I really did not mean it like that. ^_^


I wish I was a cat.
  • #756
  • 03 January 2011 - 05:56 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, the transformation is incomplete in both size and posture, and you are forced underground to hide from the furries.

I wish I hadn't made that post in Who Is Right.
  • #757
  • 03 January 2011 - 05:59 PM
Granted. it wasn't you after all just sombody else using your username.
but everybody thinks it was you.

I wish the internet would STOP!
  • #758
  • 03 January 2011 - 06:01 PM
Granted. The internet now obeys red lights and stop signs, but it still refuses to use its turn signal.

I wish I was 20 pounds lighter and 3 inches thinner.
  • #759
  • 03 January 2011 - 06:04 PM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Granted. Somebody comes up to you with a chainsaw and makes the necessary adjustments. ._.

I wish I was a dog.
  • #760
  • 03 January 2011 - 06:12 PM
Granted. You are changed into a dog at the most inconvenient time of your life.

I wish I had the power to manipulate stuff.
  • #761
  • 03 January 2011 - 06:48 PM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Granted. You can now manipulate Stuff.

I wish I was a fish. ^_^
  • #762
  • 03 January 2011 - 07:00 PM
Granted. I catch you, and unfortunately do not realize it is you until I am halfway through with filleting you.

I wish I had a tablet.
  • #763
  • 03 January 2011 - 07:23 PM
  • ILB
  • secretly a man :smirk:
    Member
Granted. You now have an unwieldy piece of rock buried beneath the house in which you live. Something is written on it, but it is insignificant since it is obviously a bogus and a fake.

I wish I was a fox. :love:
  • #764
  • 03 January 2011 - 07:42 PM
granted. you spend your whole time running for your life from a pack of hounds followed by red coated toffs on horse back.
i wish i coulf fly right up to the sky............
  • #765
  • 03 January 2011 - 08:34 PM
Granted, you can go up, but not down! You die of hypoxia at 60,000 feet. I wish that I had a working Saturn IV moon rocket I could use.
  • #766
  • 03 January 2011 - 09:21 PM
Granted. The U.S. Military then confiscates it from you.

I wish the holidays were longer.
  • #767
  • 03 January 2011 - 09:23 PM

View PostAlalix, on 03 January 2011 - 09:23 PM, said:

Granted. The U.S. Military then confiscates it from you.

I wish the holidays were longer.


How could they confiscate it from me! I'm Canadian!
  • #768
  • 03 January 2011 - 09:26 PM
thats an act of WAR Star! Canada must emediatly retaliate with mounted police strikes from across the border.
  • #769
  • 03 January 2011 - 10:27 PM

View PostAlalix, on 03 January 2011 - 09:23 PM, said:

I wish the holidays were longer.


Granted. Every day is both Christmas and Laylat al-Qadr, and Hanukkah has been extended to last year-round. No one ever goes to work again and human civilization quickly collapses upon itself, spawning worldwide riots and causing an untold number of deaths. Almost the whole of human knowledge and wisdom is lost amid the destruction, as libraries are burned, servers are physically destroyed, and learned men fall prey to the riots. The few survivors are reduced to a Bronze Age level of sophistication. Humanity has essentially been reset, but you don't have to go to work tomorrow. 8-D


I wish Aquinas' Compendium Theologiae had been completed.
  • #770
  • 03 January 2011 - 11:08 PM
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