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Hey, kick that guys head in to within an inch of his life.

I'm not joking 16 year old self it will save you so much trouble.

AHAHAHHHAHHHHAHHAHHAHHHHSCASHCJ

"I know you havn't been doing your homework, get on it you lazy bastard."
"When you get a girlfriend, make sure she isn't a bitch."
"Speak up."
"Practice your music, you're not going to get anywhere otherwise."

These also double as my new year's resolutions.

There really are a lot of people who want to give their past selves romantic advice, aren't there?

I probably wouldn't even take romantic advice from the future. I don't believe in taking romantic advice from others, and myself right now is only barely same enough sometimes.

"You like computers. Why the hell are you considering doing anything but computers. Also, go play more video games. Maybe more friends."

"Quit studying for that pilots license. Turns out we're legally colorblind."

I wouldn't dare give my past self relationship advice.

I probably remember my first relationship much differently than it actually happened. I know I'm selectively forgetting the (many) things I did wrong and unfairly remembering her mistakes more clearly. My advice would be biased in that way.

Ughhhhhhh so much but it's more like "Here's what I learned from my lesson"

"you know that geeky guy that always walks the same way to school that you do? Start talking to him more. Trust me, it will be good."

"Don't fail any fucking classes."

"Because you failed a buttload of classes Freshman year, Senior year next year is going to be a living hell. Time to put on your big girl boots."

"And by the way, Senior year will be filled with soooo much drama. Just end the relationship now, you'll save yourself a lot of heartache, girl."

"STOP CUTTING YOURSELF. Seriously, it's going to make it hard to find work."

"Never mix Free Time and Espresso beans ever Again."

"Chill out dood, there are things in life more important than just school."

"You are NOT an engineer."

"Whatever you do, DO NOT get a student loan, go to a cheaper school instead. Also learn how to operate a business, and start your own. This is your path to freedom."

"Hey man, you can draw! You just never tried to before. Give it a try, it will be fun. Also, you will suck at first."

"Visit www.bittersweetcandybowl.com, you will like it. Help SuitCase and Taeshi whenever you can, and try to get along. You will learn a lot from them along the way."

"Marvel vs Capcom 3 will come out in 2010. Buy it, I almost won a tournament and only rented it once. You're a natural. Your team is Dante, Captain America and MODOK, learn to play them."

"Regarding relationship advice... sorry, this is something you will have to learn by yourself. I'll just give you a little spoiler: you really do like that girl, enjoy being with her while it lasts. (On second thought, this would disrupt everything)."

"You love Apple. Get a Macbook when you get the chance and they have switched to Intel processors. Oh BTW, if you decide to build a computer yourself, get an Intel processor, the extra cost is worth it."

This post has been edited by ZoeStellan: 26 December 2011 - 11:59 AM

"Cut your damn bangs and part your hair to the right, you know thats where the natural part is, that middle shit makes you look like a hippy...The lotto numbers for next week are..."


I jest, it depends on what day I got there I guess? Maybe don't slake off in college, I dunno.

"Don't go to the prom, you're wasting money for 2 tickets."
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BEANS GO IN FOR 3 MINUTES NOT 90 YOU RETARD!"

"No, vet is not what you like. Neither is graphic design. Know that career your psychologist told you not to even look at? Yep, Engineering. Systems engineering. That's the one."
"Enjoy your time with him, but he's definitely not the one."
"Don't go to prom. Seriously, not worth it, the memory is going to kill you."
"Don't be a bitch."

"Break your computers hard-drive before a hacker steals your fathers bank account!"
"Game Design is not what you truly want, pursue another career."
"Riley has suicidal thoughts, prevent her from killing herself!"
"Your group of friends is very dangerous, leave before you nearly get killed!"
"Do NOT horseplay on a bridge without rails! You killed Justin!"
"Quit looking so far in the future, and focus on the reality now"
"Don't let your computer absorb all your time"
"Find a girlfriend"

"You better be hot by now."
"Read more mangas, you lazy ass."
"Buy the hunger games books already."
"Make money."
"Get smarter."
"You suck."

dotsonface, on 27 December 2011 - 06:53 AM, said:

I feel you, man :'(

Oh no... I am sorry to hear that.

In my own case... I would not tell myself anything. The intricacies of time and causality would mean that ultimately, nothing would change. Hence, saying good advice would be entirely ineffective, and anything I could think of to better would be, well, hollow and vain.

However, if there was one thing I would tell myself at that age, it would be: "Stop listening to me." This because if I was going to say something that would be entirely unhelpful, I might as well make an effort to have it be just that.

I believe that if I had the chance I would still not say anything, because the only thing I would want to say is something I was saying to myself back then as well. And I didn't listen to myself, apparently.

pearlcrox, on 27 December 2011 - 02:07 PM, said:

Noooo do that now don't wait until then (I'm just assuming you're not that old judging by that "by now" part in your post)!

I have to say, though, I might not ever want to change things after this year--because as I might have said elsewhere, the chaos effect dictates that even the slightest microscopic difference will alter the future...

This post has been edited by Lux Aeterna: 27 December 2011 - 08:09 PM

This is about two years ago

"stop being so lazy in the class room and PICK UP YOUR GOD DAMN GPA"
"continue drawing, you will be awesome"
"Get over him already, He's just interested in your body. Don't let him touch you."
"you will find someone who loves you"
"Don't mess with that relationship. you're only going to screw yourself over and hurt two people."
"Find a site named Bittersweet Candy Bowl. It is an awesome web comic."
"Stop being so god damned depressed, suck it up. the bullying happened quite a while ago, and that event... the girl will have karma bite her in the ass eventually"
"OPEN UP. stop being so defensive around people."
"control your bad habits."
"be nicer to people and you will have more friends"
"cheer up. high school is almost over and you will get out"

"I am you in the future. This is my time machine. Come with me and let's conquer the world!
Or destroy the space-time continuum, whatever happens first. It'll be fun!"

Ok, now for a serious piece of advice:
"Stop being so serious. Chicks like funny guys. BE FUNNY!"

THen MAYBE I'd be funny by now.

"There is this really cute, nervous, shy, social outcast girl who goes to another school. You best get to know her now to help prevent her from adopting unfavourable "habits". She's got similar problems that you do, think about that, you both are equally fucking miserable and can actually relate to eachother. GET OVER THERE AND MAKE NICE. Also, she will worship the ground you walk on 4 or 5 years from now, so there's you incentive."
Something I'd say to me about meeting our future lover.

This post has been edited by ChewySmokey: 28 December 2011 - 02:16 AM

Perhaps you should never pursue that aspect of your life. Either way, learn to loosen up a little or your tightly-wound anxiety-ridden self is going to have to deal with some very real, very difficult issues, if you can't let them go.

Just drop it. I'm serious. It will only create more trouble, and you can afford to sacrifice a little pride you've plenty to spare. This isn't your own little personal crusade.

Ouch, I'm a nervous wreck, arent i?

Not to be depressing but..... Honesty is key right?

This can apply to my whole high school self not just 16 ( Ya ya I'm still in high school but this is based n my shit so far )
This will be the year. Your year. Don't let yourself get a abusive bf again, you do not need to stick with him. Or be caught in any more friend drama, basically self your way to nice and you let your self get stepped on. STOP IT. We both know that we have a back bone so use it!

Let's go back to 15, seeing seeing as I'm 16..

"Put. The knife. Down."
"Trust your friends more, they love you more than you think."
"Be careful with her, you can't trust her, she's less sweet than you think and she's going to make all hell break loose."
"Don't obsess over school so much, learn to take things in stride."
"Don't be so afraid of falling for him, he's a good kid."

Kaxbe, on 24 December 2011 - 01:01 AM, said:

Dude, chillax. It's a reference from Little Miss Sunshine.

Advice to my former 16 y.o. self? "Try to do things that are far more productive. Warcraft III, DotA, and FFXI are all sucking your precious time away."

This post has been edited by AntiChristCreep: 30 December 2011 - 06:14 PM

"Don't worry you can eat the whole chocolate!"

"Watch your weight because when you're 19 you're gonna get big. Also, your hair looks really dumb."

>> I mean, I dropped it by the time I was 21, but still!

Oh also, forget him, you guys will still be good friends and have fun a prom but its not going anywhere, save yourself the annoyance. Instead, in about 2 years time you will find a webcomic about cats in high school that is filled with drama. That November you will volunteer to do the voices for all the girls in a fan made date sim. DO IT FAGGOT.

Also Chem two will kick your ass, study hard for it.

´´Hi future me, how has my life been?`` (I'm 15.)
If I could give advice to my 14 year old self on the other hand...
´´Practice drawing. Stop playing random games from Steam, just draw some more. It'll pay off, trust me...
AND DO YOUR F**KING HOMEWORK, MY LIFE WAS HELL FOR ABOUT 2 MONTHS BECAUSE I NEGLECTED IT!!!!``

This post has been edited by mAceOfHearts: 01 January 2012 - 04:15 PM

"STOP. BEING. SUCH. A PANSY-ASS BITCH. Also control yourself, life's gonna start kicking you in the balls repeatedly all throughout and after college."

"Tell her you love her!"
"Study dumbass..."
"the lottery numbers for the next 5 years are..."

Right, I forgot about the lottery...

If you win the lottery every week for 5 years, someone would call cheating and stop you.

Leaving_a_Comment, on 02 January 2012 - 10:23 PM, said:

Yeah, of course, thats why you are smart and choose when to win carefully :B the prizes accumulate after all... just get the biggest one and give results to people who would give you a "commission" for the info or help someone or something ¬¬, lol...

Cheating would still be suspected if you won even once a year, particularly if you won the highest sum every year on top of that.

Besides, lotto winnings are distributed to several people who have the correct numbers. You could win more on a jackpot of, say, a million shared on two than one of two million shared between five.

I don't know how it works in Europe, but in North America, top prizes are not often shared, due simply to the odds against of more than one ticket with the same winning numbers being purchased. Lower prizes are more often shared, as you have to match fewer numbers to win.

HumanTamer said:

Does this mean you are 11 years old? ^_^

look around, slowly, and take in everything exactly as it is. It's going away soon, and won't be the same again.

wacko, on 03 January 2012 - 03:57 AM, said:

attn: wacko sucks at math

Yes. Yes, I do.

Reminder to self: do not post when tired.

"Kill yourself and spare yourself the agony."

"Hey kid. You should do your fucking math homework. And write more."

"Writing is your forte, and don't let anyone tell you that you can't for any reason. You have the potential of greatness that few others have. Out of those thousands of books that are written every year you can make it and shine!"

"You listen too much. Open your mouth and speak. And don't think your king brain just because you're the only one spouting useless information every minute of the day, your best friend's smarter than you she's just more down to earth and shows it less."

"You don't get how powerful words can be. The wrong words, from the wrong person, can twist and warp and stunt happiness until death is prefferable.... Look. You have the words to change people. The right words, in the right place, can change everything. Everything and anything can change with the power of words. You can save lives, I've done it before. Fucking WRITE it if you can't say it. Write poems, it doesn't even have to rhyme if you can get your feelings across clear enough. Girls go apeshit over that stuff. You can be king of everything around you if you just let the words flow forth."

"Every moment you live is a new one. The future is malleable by every step you take, and the past is open to the manipulation of lies, but this moment right now is solid. Whatever comes next, you can change it."

"When you see Michael Buss, the tall ginger who pretends he's a biker-to-be, I don't care if you're not as strong as him yet I want you to punch him square in the fucking chin and tell him to never go near your best friend. Because he'll put her through hell. Absolute hell. He's a coward, punch him before it all begins not when it's all to late. He'll run."

"Don't wait for perfection. MAKE perfection, FORCE it to be perfection, strike out into the world and FIND perfection. Everyone wants it, you think it'll fall into your lap if you sit on your ass? You don't think that someone else would catch it on the way to you? You are your own master, and you can master yourself to near-perfection if you but try, and once you have yourself mastered you'll find just how wonderously malleable the world is."

"Go camping more. A lot of inspiration and revelation is to be had in the woods."

Shape up and actually apply yourself.

You know more than most people in your class.

Don't get involved with the following people in any way that's not friends (names of most of my exes.)

By the way don't take any planes out of Boston on September 11th 2001.

Stick with music, practice it, even if you have to BEG for lessons, you'll thank me.

Don't attend concerts unless they're worth it, trust me Massive Attack is worth it, Prodigy and Marilyn Manson, not so much.

Invest in a little company called Google.

Above all, don't be an idiot, you're better than this.

Susan, on 03 January 2012 - 05:32 AM, said:

Well that would just create a time paradox, it's physically impossible to do that.
And you shouldn't, I guess.

Quote

Really? I did not know. But I figured, if sometimes more than ten people manage to get the winning numbers in Norway, a country with scarcely more than four and a half million inhabitants, one with over three hundred million people living in it would experience quite a bit of the same. ^_^

Don't tell your friend how you feel they will never speak to you again. You can still be friends if you don't.

ILB said:

I suppose it'd depend on how the lottery was structured, and the odds of winning. For example, in Canada we have Lotto Max, where you pick 7 numbers out of 49, and you must match all 7 to win the jackpot. The odds of winning or sharing the jackpot is 1 in 28,633,528 per ticket bought.

The United States has bigger lotteries with larger jackpots and longer odds. For example, in Powerball, you have to match 5 numbers out of 59, plus a sixth number out of 39 drawn separately. The odds of winning the grand prize is 1 in 195,249,054 for each $1 play.

Fun fact: I once won $3 on a Powerball ticket, but sent it to a friend in Minnesota since I wasn't about to fly back there just to collect $3.

The plane ticket would have been worth how much? ^_^

It would have cost probably like $650 return.

Well, if you had simultaneously won a plane ticket to Minnesota and back it could have been worth it.