This topic is locked
Good zing
Best post
Romance Problems
- Craft aids
- That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
Banned 
@empty, dots, rose
notice that the only people that seem to really feal that people are being harsh all have girls who think that they are stalkers and all deny that they are actualy stalkers even though the rest of thee internet unanimously argees that they are stalkears.
The internet is being harsh to you because you are funny. Understand this and understand it is 100% your fault. Feel worse about it then you feel about the stalking situation and fix it. Understand that we will continue to say entertaining things as long as you subject yourself to our judgment and understand that it will not completely stop doing this when it stops being funny. Also understand that there is truth in the hyperboly and a method to our madness. I will, however, agree that we jumped to the stalking conclution early however, it seems like we were right.
notice that the only people that seem to really feal that people are being harsh all have girls who think that they are stalkers and all deny that they are actualy stalkers even though the rest of thee internet unanimously argees that they are stalkears.
The internet is being harsh to you because you are funny. Understand this and understand it is 100% your fault. Feel worse about it then you feel about the stalking situation and fix it. Understand that we will continue to say entertaining things as long as you subject yourself to our judgment and understand that it will not completely stop doing this when it stops being funny. Also understand that there is truth in the hyperboly and a method to our madness. I will, however, agree that we jumped to the stalking conclution early however, it seems like we were right.
This post has been edited by Craft aids: 06 January 2012 - 06:19 PM
- #102
- 06 January 2012 - 06:15 PM
- TheMysteriousMan
- Member
Short version: We find your suffering amusing.
- #103
- 06 January 2012 - 06:32 PM
- Craft aids
- That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
Banned
Ignored stipulation:we will be helpful while doing it
- #104
- 06 January 2012 - 06:54 PM
- Rex
- Member
Lonesome, dont ask the internet for advice. It will laugh at you, kick you in the groin, piss on you as you curl up in pain, then continue its laughter as your tears mix with the piss.
Pretty much what I am saying is that you shouldn't be telling us this kind of stuff and expecting to actually get advice that isn't riddled with insults.
Pretty much what I am saying is that you shouldn't be telling us this kind of stuff and expecting to actually get advice that isn't riddled with insults.
This post has been edited by Rex: 06 January 2012 - 07:00 PM
- #105
- 06 January 2012 - 06:57 PM
- Nik
- Banned
Rex, on 06 January 2012 - 06:57 PM, said:
Lonesome, dont ask the internet for advice. It will laugh at you, kick you in the groin, piss on you as you curl up in pain, then continue its laughter as your tears mix with the piss.
Pretty much what I am saying is that you shouldn't be telling us this kind of stuff and expecting to actually get advice that isn't riddled with insults.
Pretty much what I am saying is that you shouldn't be telling us this kind of stuff and expecting to actually get advice that isn't riddled with insults.
Which accurately describes the picture that Jerk uses for his avatar. Which is kinda wierd as that is due to Abbey's relationship. Kinda circular stuff going on.
And there are a select few who will give you actual advice, just realize that it will most likely only be a select few.
- #107
- 06 January 2012 - 07:19 PM
- Shada
- BCI Member
Hahaha Kaxbe is right on the money oh god.
You might as well just lock the thread because that reply is basically the best.
I'm just going to mime what everyone has been saying.
Lonesome, she wants nothing more to do with you, find another, it's not hard, stop feeling sorry for yourself and DO SOMETHING except chasing this poor girl around.
Move on.
You might as well just lock the thread because that reply is basically the best.
I'm just going to mime what everyone has been saying.
Lonesome, she wants nothing more to do with you, find another, it's not hard, stop feeling sorry for yourself and DO SOMETHING except chasing this poor girl around.
Move on.
- #108
- 06 January 2012 - 07:33 PM
- Jerk
- Member
I merged two threads to make this one. I'm going to just keep merging them here whenever they pop up. Because they will.
Rex, I'm not going to laugh at someone who isn't culpable for their current problems. I will actually attempt to provide help. This? This isn't romance. It's fixation. And where there's fixation, I say, "Fire at will."
Caveat: if you have a fixation on an unrealistic superhuman image you've built up around a girl, boy or farm animal, this thread is a Venus flytrap. You'll get the correct answer, not the one you want. We're not enablers.
Rex, I'm not going to laugh at someone who isn't culpable for their current problems. I will actually attempt to provide help. This? This isn't romance. It's fixation. And where there's fixation, I say, "Fire at will."
Caveat: if you have a fixation on an unrealistic superhuman image you've built up around a girl, boy or farm animal, this thread is a Venus flytrap. You'll get the correct answer, not the one you want. We're not enablers.
- #109
- 06 January 2012 - 07:54 PM
- Carcharocles
- BCI Member
Do you know what the sad thing is?
I never would've realized the threads were merged if Jerk hadn't mentioned it. They're that fucking similar. I still don't know what fucking thread he merged with Lonesome Rose's.
I never would've realized the threads were merged if Jerk hadn't mentioned it. They're that fucking similar. I still don't know what fucking thread he merged with Lonesome Rose's.
- #110
- 06 January 2012 - 07:59 PM
- Nik
- Banned
Carcharocles, on 06 January 2012 - 07:59 PM, said:
Do you know what the sad thing is?
I never would've realized the threads were merged if Jerk hadn't mentioned it. They're that fucking similar. I still don't know what fucking thread he merged with Lonesome Rose's.
I never would've realized the threads were merged if Jerk hadn't mentioned it. They're that fucking similar. I still don't know what fucking thread he merged with Lonesome Rose's.
Empty Eyes post Car. And yeah, he shoulda just read Lonesomes and took that advice to heart, or something.
- #111
- 06 January 2012 - 08:03 PM
Rex, on 06 January 2012 - 06:57 PM, said:
Lonesome, dont ask the internet for advice. It will laugh at you, kick you in the groin, piss on you as you curl up in pain, then continue its laughter as your tears mix with the piss.
Pretty much what I am saying is that you shouldn't be telling us this kind of stuff and expecting to actually get advice that isn't riddled with insults.
Pretty much what I am saying is that you shouldn't be telling us this kind of stuff and expecting to actually get advice that isn't riddled with insults.
Sounds like Jerk's avi.
Kaxbe, on 06 January 2012 - 06:06 PM, said:
And you're what, 16? 17? You "befriended" this girl FIVE YEARS AGO!
It looks like he is 21. I'm not sure when he updated his page.
- #112
- 06 January 2012 - 08:32 PM
- Chris
- teabagging furfag
Member 
So, I would like to mention a few quick things.
first, I would like to say that I really disagree with the notion that you should talk with her! I think she has made it very clear that you need to let it be. I've been through it, and I can speak from experience. the thing that got you here was trying to talk to her, and she obviously does not want to talk. I direct you to my previous post for why, because I don't want to be repetitive. I feel like the people who are advising you to speak to her are being tainted by their previous experiences. one thing they keep saying is that letting it rest will lead to regret and wanting to know what could have been. yeah, you will wonder, but if you get past it and move on, while learning from it, you will not regret it. they have chosen to dwell on it an brood, and now it is seriously impacting their capability to give advice, and I suspect their own love lives. dot's post really doesn't make much sense in the first place, and it seems to be rambling and confusing.
ochta, you should also take this with a grain of salt. there are two sides to this, and we only get to hear one. the girl is probably very disturbed by this, and there is no doubt that lonesome is playing it down so he doesn't sound bad.
Dotsonface, your advice is very confusing and pretty bad all around. I have already said multiple times why confronting her is the worst possible action. I really don't know what to say to you. it's like you watched a bunch of romance comedies and your brain vomited on the screen. first you need to organize what you are saying, because reading your post gave me an aneurysm. He should not speak with her aside form an apology, and much less CONFRONT her.
well, this should NOT be used as advice because of the sheer improbability of it happening! sure there is a absolutely minuscule chance of the girl who is avoiding you and does not want to speak with you likes you, but perusing her because of that chance is like quitting your job and burning your life savings because there is a chance that the earth might be destroyed by a meteor that day. it's nearly impossible! it is much more logical and intelligent to assume that she is avoiding him because she dislikes him! avoidance is the typical human behavior when someone is calling you and mailing you and always at the mall when you are. all that your story does is give false hope and tell him what he wants to hear.
Kaxbe makes some fantastic points, though I am irked that he stole my joke. come on man, that was the best joke I've come up with in forever, you had to take it? oh well. it's been told now. but other than that what he said is true.
and craft aids.
you are an idiot.
that is all.
now, I have put a lot of thought and effort into the advice I have given in this and the last post, and I would ask that you at respond lonesome, even if just to tell me off, so that I can know you read this.
first, I would like to say that I really disagree with the notion that you should talk with her! I think she has made it very clear that you need to let it be. I've been through it, and I can speak from experience. the thing that got you here was trying to talk to her, and she obviously does not want to talk. I direct you to my previous post for why, because I don't want to be repetitive. I feel like the people who are advising you to speak to her are being tainted by their previous experiences. one thing they keep saying is that letting it rest will lead to regret and wanting to know what could have been. yeah, you will wonder, but if you get past it and move on, while learning from it, you will not regret it. they have chosen to dwell on it an brood, and now it is seriously impacting their capability to give advice, and I suspect their own love lives. dot's post really doesn't make much sense in the first place, and it seems to be rambling and confusing.
ochta, you should also take this with a grain of salt. there are two sides to this, and we only get to hear one. the girl is probably very disturbed by this, and there is no doubt that lonesome is playing it down so he doesn't sound bad.
Dotsonface, your advice is very confusing and pretty bad all around. I have already said multiple times why confronting her is the worst possible action. I really don't know what to say to you. it's like you watched a bunch of romance comedies and your brain vomited on the screen. first you need to organize what you are saying, because reading your post gave me an aneurysm. He should not speak with her aside form an apology, and much less CONFRONT her.
Quote
There is also one possible situation that I have experienced before: Confess Feelings towards a girl, the girl flees you and doesn't talk to you, but when you talk to her and force her to reply she admits that shes in love with you.
well, this should NOT be used as advice because of the sheer improbability of it happening! sure there is a absolutely minuscule chance of the girl who is avoiding you and does not want to speak with you likes you, but perusing her because of that chance is like quitting your job and burning your life savings because there is a chance that the earth might be destroyed by a meteor that day. it's nearly impossible! it is much more logical and intelligent to assume that she is avoiding him because she dislikes him! avoidance is the typical human behavior when someone is calling you and mailing you and always at the mall when you are. all that your story does is give false hope and tell him what he wants to hear.
Kaxbe makes some fantastic points, though I am irked that he stole my joke. come on man, that was the best joke I've come up with in forever, you had to take it? oh well. it's been told now. but other than that what he said is true.
and craft aids.
you are an idiot.
that is all.
now, I have put a lot of thought and effort into the advice I have given in this and the last post, and I would ask that you at respond lonesome, even if just to tell me off, so that I can know you read this.
This post has been edited by Chris: 06 January 2012 - 08:39 PM
- #113
- 06 January 2012 - 08:36 PM
- Amaris
- BCI Member
So, I have (had..? 
) this friend. We've been friends since middle school, and now I'm old (19), so that was a looong time ago. Anyway, that aside, let me give you a little back story on what's going on with me, currently.
Okay, so as some of you may know, my bf broke up with me. I posted a topic about it a while back, when I first joined. Alright, so yknow, I went around making friends, doing what you're supposed to do after a break up, right? Right. So I hung out and reconnected with some people from high school. In HS, I hung out with a group of guys and we were the best of friends. Things were good for a while, but then shit started happening.
My friend (we'll call him Kevin) invited me over to stay the night at his place, with his friend Alec. I agreed, Alec drove me up to Kevin's, and we all had a really good time, until Alec's gf called him in tears about god-knows-what (she always brought drama with her, wherever she went). So, Alec went home. Kevin and I stayed up a good part of the night, playing old Super NES games like Super Metroid and Donkey Kong Country. It was fun. We started getting sleepy, so I set up blankets on my side of his bed, and so did he. I started up some Dane Cook for us to listen to (that guy is hilarious), and things were good. Well, after Dane's 2-hour comedy special was finished playing, we turned out the lights and started to fall asleep. I felt Kevin tickle me, so I tickled him back.... next thing I knew, he had me PINNED DOWN on his bed, and wouldn't let me up. I told him to get the hell off, and he did.
Now I'm sure most of you are like "well, you should have fucking left", but you have to keep in mind it was like 2 AM when this happened, and I had gotten a ride to Kevin's, so I was stuck. So anyway, I turned over, and tried to fall back asleep. Kevin pulls me over, pins me AGAIN, and kisses me.
I had to wait until morning, but I left. I had my dad come pick me up from about an hour away, I was so freaked out. Kevin had told me he loved me, but I told him I couldn't be his GF, for several reasons, the main one being I was still getting over my ex. Kevin now spreads rumors of me at a college I don't even attend, which is shitty, but whatever.
Ok, you still with me? Alright, so that was case #1. So after that, I went to talk to my friend Kellen (also a guy) about the situation. AFter weeks of talking, he admits he loves me. I told him the same thing I told Kevin, and thankfully he understood. Kellen and I are on talking terms, but it is very awkward.
So after that, I reconnected with my friend Gus. We got to know each other again, and for a couple of months had a lot of fun; we hung out, he taught me how to drive; it's was a pretty sweet deal. I was finally healing from the break up. I get a message on facebook from his Ex Girlfriend. She starts flirting with me, and after a couple of days, she is completely smitten with me. This angers Gus, and I ask him why... he says "Because I friggin' love you, that's why!"
At this point, I'm losing my fucking head, right? Gus and I dont talk anymore, because he told me that he wanted to go back to his ex, and being around me was too painful. His ex is still "in love" with me.
Alright. Let's bring this aaaall back to where it started: My only female friend, that I've known for years, that I treat like my little sister. I was talking to her yesterday about how fed up I was with everything. We argued over who was the better kisser, joking around, and then she was like "Can I tell you something, and not have you freak out?" At that point, I was thinking "Oh hell no..." Well, the long and short of that story is, is that she told me she loves me, and wants to be with me. She told me that she thinks she can take better care of me than any man could, and that every time I slept over at her house, IN HER BED, that she thought of making out with me, and holding me close, telling me all of her secrets... And after I told her I couldn't return her feelings, she said "I don't think we can be sisters anymore..."
TL;DR: All of my friends have fallen in love with me, even my long-time female friend that I treated like my sister. In an end result, I am, for all intents and purposes, friendless now because of it.
I'm losing my mind and don't know what to do. I just need someone to talk with, maybe you guys can give me advice, idk. Thank you guys.
EDIT: Also, lol, the home page says "Bittersweet Pony Trough" hahaha. Anyone else catch that?
) this friend. We've been friends since middle school, and now I'm old (19), so that was a looong time ago. Anyway, that aside, let me give you a little back story on what's going on with me, currently.Okay, so as some of you may know, my bf broke up with me. I posted a topic about it a while back, when I first joined. Alright, so yknow, I went around making friends, doing what you're supposed to do after a break up, right? Right. So I hung out and reconnected with some people from high school. In HS, I hung out with a group of guys and we were the best of friends. Things were good for a while, but then shit started happening.
My friend (we'll call him Kevin) invited me over to stay the night at his place, with his friend Alec. I agreed, Alec drove me up to Kevin's, and we all had a really good time, until Alec's gf called him in tears about god-knows-what (she always brought drama with her, wherever she went). So, Alec went home. Kevin and I stayed up a good part of the night, playing old Super NES games like Super Metroid and Donkey Kong Country. It was fun. We started getting sleepy, so I set up blankets on my side of his bed, and so did he. I started up some Dane Cook for us to listen to (that guy is hilarious), and things were good. Well, after Dane's 2-hour comedy special was finished playing, we turned out the lights and started to fall asleep. I felt Kevin tickle me, so I tickled him back.... next thing I knew, he had me PINNED DOWN on his bed, and wouldn't let me up. I told him to get the hell off, and he did.
Now I'm sure most of you are like "well, you should have fucking left", but you have to keep in mind it was like 2 AM when this happened, and I had gotten a ride to Kevin's, so I was stuck. So anyway, I turned over, and tried to fall back asleep. Kevin pulls me over, pins me AGAIN, and kisses me.
I had to wait until morning, but I left. I had my dad come pick me up from about an hour away, I was so freaked out. Kevin had told me he loved me, but I told him I couldn't be his GF, for several reasons, the main one being I was still getting over my ex. Kevin now spreads rumors of me at a college I don't even attend, which is shitty, but whatever.
Ok, you still with me? Alright, so that was case #1. So after that, I went to talk to my friend Kellen (also a guy) about the situation. AFter weeks of talking, he admits he loves me. I told him the same thing I told Kevin, and thankfully he understood. Kellen and I are on talking terms, but it is very awkward.
So after that, I reconnected with my friend Gus. We got to know each other again, and for a couple of months had a lot of fun; we hung out, he taught me how to drive; it's was a pretty sweet deal. I was finally healing from the break up. I get a message on facebook from his Ex Girlfriend. She starts flirting with me, and after a couple of days, she is completely smitten with me. This angers Gus, and I ask him why... he says "Because I friggin' love you, that's why!"
At this point, I'm losing my fucking head, right? Gus and I dont talk anymore, because he told me that he wanted to go back to his ex, and being around me was too painful. His ex is still "in love" with me.
Alright. Let's bring this aaaall back to where it started: My only female friend, that I've known for years, that I treat like my little sister. I was talking to her yesterday about how fed up I was with everything. We argued over who was the better kisser, joking around, and then she was like "Can I tell you something, and not have you freak out?" At that point, I was thinking "Oh hell no..." Well, the long and short of that story is, is that she told me she loves me, and wants to be with me. She told me that she thinks she can take better care of me than any man could, and that every time I slept over at her house, IN HER BED, that she thought of making out with me, and holding me close, telling me all of her secrets... And after I told her I couldn't return her feelings, she said "I don't think we can be sisters anymore..."
TL;DR: All of my friends have fallen in love with me, even my long-time female friend that I treated like my sister. In an end result, I am, for all intents and purposes, friendless now because of it.
I'm losing my mind and don't know what to do. I just need someone to talk with, maybe you guys can give me advice, idk. Thank you guys.
EDIT: Also, lol, the home page says "Bittersweet Pony Trough" hahaha. Anyone else catch that?
This post has been edited by Amaris: 06 January 2012 - 11:14 PM
- #114
- 06 January 2012 - 11:13 PM
- Nik
- Banned
... Make new friends? You are in college or something right? So go to clubs (Not the alcohol and dancing kind, the more cool "People with similar interests" kind), hang out with people from your various classes or something. The only problem I can really see is that you need some more friends.
If there is anything else specific you can say that you would like some advice over then awesome, but for now that is all I can say.
If there is anything else specific you can say that you would like some advice over then awesome, but for now that is all I can say.
This post has been edited by Nik: 06 January 2012 - 11:22 PM
- #115
- 06 January 2012 - 11:21 PM
- esalaka
- Banned
I'm not sure if this thread just actually happened or if I should go to sleep and then re-read this and notice it's not what it looks like
Because that seems like the single oddest reason for having no friends, ever. Although I am able to see why that could happen due to it.
Because that seems like the single oddest reason for having no friends, ever. Although I am able to see why that could happen due to it.
- #116
- 06 January 2012 - 11:25 PM
- Buddy1006
- Member
I Wish I could help, but let's wait for the "romantic professionals ", as I am not very adept in this, but I'd say that I feel sorry for you that all of your friends wanted to be a little too close.
I guess they are all ninjas! Yay!
I guess they are all ninjas! Yay!
This post has been edited by Buddy1006: 06 January 2012 - 11:36 PM
- #118
- 06 January 2012 - 11:35 PM
- Nik
- Banned
Uh, what would you tell any male friend at this point? All these people are apparently looking for something you aren't giving out, so let her down nicely.
And as for the friend thing... I am not sure but maybe there are hobby stores nearby you can hang out and get to know people? You are working so maybe talk with/hang around the other people at work and make friends there.
Edit:
Don't worry Purin, I am here for you.
And as for the friend thing... I am not sure but maybe there are hobby stores nearby you can hang out and get to know people? You are working so maybe talk with/hang around the other people at work and make friends there.
Edit:
Purin, on 06 January 2012 - 11:37 PM, said:
Help
Don't worry Purin, I am here for you.
This post has been edited by Nik: 06 January 2012 - 11:39 PM
- #120
- 06 January 2012 - 11:38 PM
Oh, wow. Can't say I've ever had people falling all over me like that. I would suppose Nik is right: you need to make new friends elsewhere. And of course, you can talk to us on the board without anyone swooning over you (I hope).
I think you've already told your 'sister' the main thing: you can't return her feelings. As a followup, maybe ask her if you guys can still be friends without it becoming too awkward (like with Kellen)? If she says that won't work, then you may have to move on from her as well. But yeah, find new people to be friends with.
I think you've already told your 'sister' the main thing: you can't return her feelings. As a followup, maybe ask her if you guys can still be friends without it becoming too awkward (like with Kellen)? If she says that won't work, then you may have to move on from her as well. But yeah, find new people to be friends with.
- #121
- 06 January 2012 - 11:39 PM
- Carcharocles
- BCI Member
Join a Buddhist monastery, swear off meat and live a life of celibacy. For bonus points, go to a fancy doctor's house and pay him to remove your uterus on his kitchen table, then eat an eggplant sandwich with him.
You are too much woman for the world girl, you should never reproduce.
Edit: gender concept fixed.
You are too much woman for the world girl, you should never reproduce.
Edit: gender concept fixed.
This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 06 January 2012 - 11:43 PM
- #122
- 06 January 2012 - 11:40 PM
- Nik
- Banned
Carcharocles, on 06 January 2012 - 11:40 PM, said:
Join a Buddhist monastery, swear off meat and live a life of celibacy. For bonus points, go to a fancy doctor's house and pay him to castrate you on his kitchen table, then eat a zucchini sandwich with him.
You are too much man for the world son, you should never reproduce.
You are too much man for the world son, you should never reproduce.
Yo Car, she be a girl. May have to fix that paragraph up a bit haha
- #123
- 06 January 2012 - 11:40 PM
- Amaris
- BCI Member
This craziness has gotten ridiculously out of control... I know i should make friends elsewhere, that's just a tough thing to do, yknow? I talked with my sister and she said that she doesn't think we can be friends anymore. So. Haha, Carchar, that's funny. and yeah, Nik, i'll look into that.
Purin, I'm here for ya'.
Purin, I'm here for ya'.
- #124
- 06 January 2012 - 11:50 PM
- ThatGuy
- Member
You have.
The most insane.
Romance drama I have ever heard at this point.
Honestly I don't even know. Some of those people you can still connect with like Kellen. That awkwardness just has to fade over the time you keep hanging out. I'm in people can be in love with you sure but the guy that understands how you feel is probably going to be way more helpful. Also, that seems to be the only person so far in your story WHO UNDERSTANDS BOUNDARIES.
And yeah, if you can find new friends that'd be great too. Honestly try finding work friends if possible.
But the whole "sister" thing, gosh that's just the biggest mindfuck. I can't say I know advice for that.
The most insane.
Romance drama I have ever heard at this point.
Honestly I don't even know. Some of those people you can still connect with like Kellen. That awkwardness just has to fade over the time you keep hanging out. I'm in people can be in love with you sure but the guy that understands how you feel is probably going to be way more helpful. Also, that seems to be the only person so far in your story WHO UNDERSTANDS BOUNDARIES.
And yeah, if you can find new friends that'd be great too. Honestly try finding work friends if possible.
But the whole "sister" thing, gosh that's just the biggest mindfuck. I can't say I know advice for that.
- #127
- 06 January 2012 - 11:59 PM
- Amaris
- BCI Member
Purin: With whatever you need 
Buddy: NO. I dont believe it. hahaha.
ThatGuy: I know I do. It sucks. So much. I hung out with Kellen yesterday to escape all the drama, and then I came home and got those texts from my "sister"... It was a serious mindfuck. Sweet Jesus, was it. I'd love to find some new friends, I most definitely would.
Thank you guys for talking with me... I needed this. Anyone else got any crazy romance drama current/passed that they wanna share? I'd love some kinship, hahaha.
Buddy: NO. I dont believe it. hahaha.
ThatGuy: I know I do. It sucks. So much. I hung out with Kellen yesterday to escape all the drama, and then I came home and got those texts from my "sister"... It was a serious mindfuck. Sweet Jesus, was it. I'd love to find some new friends, I most definitely would.
Thank you guys for talking with me... I needed this. Anyone else got any crazy romance drama current/passed that they wanna share? I'd love some kinship, hahaha.
- #128
- 07 January 2012 - 12:10 AM
- Purin
- BCI Member
This is what happens when you have mostly friends of the opposite sex. My inner circle of high school friends consisted of 1 guy and 12 girls. holy shit, drama city. The worst is when you date within the circle of friends. If you do that, you better damn be sure that he/she is The One.
Girls usually think they can be 'just friends' with guys. But if you ask a guy about a girl who is just friends with, he would totally date his 'girl' friend if she gave him the opportunity. There are some rare exceptions of course.
Girls usually think they can be 'just friends' with guys. But if you ask a guy about a girl who is just friends with, he would totally date his 'girl' friend if she gave him the opportunity. There are some rare exceptions of course.
- #129
- 07 January 2012 - 12:24 AM
- MintyLimeGreen
- Member
Happens a lot, Nik.
Thought it might be worth noting something about the situation. Alisha hates me again. I don't know why. Chris says he's said nothing to her because it would only upset her if she found out what I had said to her. I don't think he's said anything to her though. That would just make it harder on him because she's whine about it for ages and I doubt he'd want to put himself through that.
Anyways, I tried talking to her yesterday. Nothing serious, just some lighthearted conversation. I saw her pop up online on my instant messenger and said hello to her and how I was surprised to see her online, but not Chris since it's highly unusual. She's never online anymore. Chris always tells me how she's not online and how it bothers him that he rarely sees her online and in real life. So I jokingly pointed out the oddity. She ignored me for a few hours, never responding to my message and then she finally responds with a, "Go away and leave me alone already." leaving me rather puzzled.
I asked Chris what was up with her. He tells me no idea, but she's been moody lately. I saw her online again today and tentatively gave a little, "Hello, how are you today?" and got a, "I can't stand talking to you." as a response. I thought, "Meh. Screw it. I don't know why she's always in PMS mode anyhow." and left it at that. See, Chris isn't mad at me, but now she is. Hell I don't even know anymore. I really hope they break up at this point, because I just plain don't like her.
Thought it might be worth noting something about the situation. Alisha hates me again. I don't know why. Chris says he's said nothing to her because it would only upset her if she found out what I had said to her. I don't think he's said anything to her though. That would just make it harder on him because she's whine about it for ages and I doubt he'd want to put himself through that.
Anyways, I tried talking to her yesterday. Nothing serious, just some lighthearted conversation. I saw her pop up online on my instant messenger and said hello to her and how I was surprised to see her online, but not Chris since it's highly unusual. She's never online anymore. Chris always tells me how she's not online and how it bothers him that he rarely sees her online and in real life. So I jokingly pointed out the oddity. She ignored me for a few hours, never responding to my message and then she finally responds with a, "Go away and leave me alone already." leaving me rather puzzled.
I asked Chris what was up with her. He tells me no idea, but she's been moody lately. I saw her online again today and tentatively gave a little, "Hello, how are you today?" and got a, "I can't stand talking to you." as a response. I thought, "Meh. Screw it. I don't know why she's always in PMS mode anyhow." and left it at that. See, Chris isn't mad at me, but now she is. Hell I don't even know anymore. I really hope they break up at this point, because I just plain don't like her.
- #130
- 07 January 2012 - 12:37 AM
- MintyLimeGreen
- Member
This sounds incredibly made up, but I'll be nice here.
Do you purposely flirt with everyone or something? I'm not trying to be mean, I swear, but maybe these people just perceive you as tremendously loose or easy. Maybe the problem lies with you and not the other people. I've had a similar problem of a few people telling me they loved me because they had thought I felt the same way about them because of how I was acting. I'm pretty lax around guys. I act like a guy with other guys. Hell, I've even wrestled a couple of my guy friends when we were playing video games and teasingly arguing who actually won. Without thinking, I put myself in a compromised situation and ended up hurting some people in the process. Just picture a girl wrestling with a close guy friend, on the floor of his bedroom, after playing video games. Now tell me that doesn't sound like I probably like the guy more than I should or that I'm at least projecting something that looks like I have strong feelings for the guy.
If it's not you who is the problem, then I don't really know. Just make less desperate friends, I guess. Or one's that are all currently seeing someone happily.
Also dear god yes. So much trouble will ensue here. My best friend in high School was a guy named Kevin and then we started "dating" and all hell broke loose after that.
Do you purposely flirt with everyone or something? I'm not trying to be mean, I swear, but maybe these people just perceive you as tremendously loose or easy. Maybe the problem lies with you and not the other people. I've had a similar problem of a few people telling me they loved me because they had thought I felt the same way about them because of how I was acting. I'm pretty lax around guys. I act like a guy with other guys. Hell, I've even wrestled a couple of my guy friends when we were playing video games and teasingly arguing who actually won. Without thinking, I put myself in a compromised situation and ended up hurting some people in the process. Just picture a girl wrestling with a close guy friend, on the floor of his bedroom, after playing video games. Now tell me that doesn't sound like I probably like the guy more than I should or that I'm at least projecting something that looks like I have strong feelings for the guy.
If it's not you who is the problem, then I don't really know. Just make less desperate friends, I guess. Or one's that are all currently seeing someone happily.
Purin, on 07 January 2012 - 12:24 AM, said:
This is what happens when you have mostly friends of the opposite sex. My inner circle of high school friends consisted of 1 guy and 12 girls. holy shit, drama city. The worst is when you date within the circle of friends. If you do that, you better damn be sure that he/she is The One.
Girls usually think they can be 'just friends' with guys. But if you ask a guy about a girl who is just friends with, he would totally date his 'girl' friend if she gave him the opportunity. There are some rare exceptions of course.
Girls usually think they can be 'just friends' with guys. But if you ask a guy about a girl who is just friends with, he would totally date his 'girl' friend if she gave him the opportunity. There are some rare exceptions of course.
Also dear god yes. So much trouble will ensue here. My best friend in high School was a guy named Kevin and then we started "dating" and all hell broke loose after that.
This post has been edited by MintyLimeGreen: 07 January 2012 - 12:56 AM
- #131
- 07 January 2012 - 12:53 AM
- Nurematsu
- Member
Same general advice, get a new pool of friends. It'll definitely take time, but it's necessary to escape the drama. Definitely try to salvage what friendships you can (except with "Kevin". Anyone who would push themselves onto you like that should creep somewhere else).
And it sounds like your "sister" is being immature about the whole thing. Ending a friendship just because there's no romantic connection involved is a pretty shallow move. She needs to know that relationships have different levels, and not everybody is going to "advance" to the level of having a romantic relationship with you. Remind her that your friendship with her is fine just the way it is/was.
And it sounds like your "sister" is being immature about the whole thing. Ending a friendship just because there's no romantic connection involved is a pretty shallow move. She needs to know that relationships have different levels, and not everybody is going to "advance" to the level of having a romantic relationship with you. Remind her that your friendship with her is fine just the way it is/was.
- #132
- 07 January 2012 - 01:08 AM
Oh man, I am a evil little bastard sometimes, so I wouldn't tell you what I would do (but just a hint; the best revenges are planned and executed slyly over time, and I am very patient 
). But that sounds like it sucks. At least Chris is still talking to you, just don't try to push anything on him. Don't worry about showing your concern in a casual way, so long as you get the point across; you don't really like Alisha, and she doesn't like you. Then just have a good time with him; you just want to stay friends with him at this point, right? You did the best you could without overstepping your limits as a friend, and now you want to keep the relationships that you value.
). But that sounds like it sucks. At least Chris is still talking to you, just don't try to push anything on him. Don't worry about showing your concern in a casual way, so long as you get the point across; you don't really like Alisha, and she doesn't like you. Then just have a good time with him; you just want to stay friends with him at this point, right? You did the best you could without overstepping your limits as a friend, and now you want to keep the relationships that you value.
- #133
- 07 January 2012 - 01:22 AM
- Chris
- teabagging furfag
Member
well, perhaps take solace in the fact that you must be the most stunning person on the planet to attract this kind of attention?
I don't know. I don't think many have exactly had your problem. I certainly haven't, so I can't speak from experience.
My recommendation would be to find some new friends. I know that's pretty lame advice, but it's all I really got right now for you. I agree with minty though, I think after the third guy you have to assume it's something about you. maybe the next person you become close with, make it very clear that you only want to be friends.
I am very sorry, this is really outside my experience, so I can't be much help here.
I don't know. I don't think many have exactly had your problem. I certainly haven't, so I can't speak from experience.
My recommendation would be to find some new friends. I know that's pretty lame advice, but it's all I really got right now for you. I agree with minty though, I think after the third guy you have to assume it's something about you. maybe the next person you become close with, make it very clear that you only want to be friends.
I am very sorry, this is really outside my experience, so I can't be much help here.
- #135
- 07 January 2012 - 01:57 AM
- Nik
- Banned
MintyLimeGreen, on 07 January 2012 - 12:37 AM, said:
Happens a lot, Nik.
Thought it might be worth noting something about the situation. Alisha hates me again. I don't know why. Chris says he's said nothing to her because it would only upset her if she found out what I had said to her. I don't think he's said anything to her though. That would just make it harder on him because she's whine about it for ages and I doubt he'd want to put himself through that.
Anyways, I tried talking to her yesterday. Nothing serious, just some lighthearted conversation. I saw her pop up online on my instant messenger and said hello to her and how I was surprised to see her online, but not Chris since it's highly unusual. She's never online anymore. Chris always tells me how she's not online and how it bothers him that he rarely sees her online and in real life. So I jokingly pointed out the oddity. She ignored me for a few hours, never responding to my message and then she finally responds with a, "Go away and leave me alone already." leaving me rather puzzled.
I asked Chris what was up with her. He tells me no idea, but she's been moody lately. I saw her online again today and tentatively gave a little, "Hello, how are you today?" and got a, "I can't stand talking to you." as a response. I thought, "Meh. Screw it. I don't know why she's always in PMS mode anyhow." and left it at that. See, Chris isn't mad at me, but now she is. Hell I don't even know anymore. I really hope they break up at this point, because I just plain don't like her.
Thought it might be worth noting something about the situation. Alisha hates me again. I don't know why. Chris says he's said nothing to her because it would only upset her if she found out what I had said to her. I don't think he's said anything to her though. That would just make it harder on him because she's whine about it for ages and I doubt he'd want to put himself through that.
Anyways, I tried talking to her yesterday. Nothing serious, just some lighthearted conversation. I saw her pop up online on my instant messenger and said hello to her and how I was surprised to see her online, but not Chris since it's highly unusual. She's never online anymore. Chris always tells me how she's not online and how it bothers him that he rarely sees her online and in real life. So I jokingly pointed out the oddity. She ignored me for a few hours, never responding to my message and then she finally responds with a, "Go away and leave me alone already." leaving me rather puzzled.
I asked Chris what was up with her. He tells me no idea, but she's been moody lately. I saw her online again today and tentatively gave a little, "Hello, how are you today?" and got a, "I can't stand talking to you." as a response. I thought, "Meh. Screw it. I don't know why she's always in PMS mode anyhow." and left it at that. See, Chris isn't mad at me, but now she is. Hell I don't even know anymore. I really hope they break up at this point, because I just plain don't like her.
So this is the point where you say, "Fuck that bitch who wasn't really a friend to begin with." And guess what? You lost someone who ain't a friend anymore! No loss!
If Chris cares enough to ask why you decided not to be friends with her anymore just explain that if she doesn't want to try to remain friends why should you? A friendship takes work from both sides and she doesn't care about it anymore.
Finally, remember that you being friends with Alisha isn't apart of the friendship with Chris. Those are two separate things and really should be treated as such. I am not saying be hostile, but don't exchange pleasantries and such.
- #136
- 07 January 2012 - 04:23 AM
- Chris
- teabagging furfag
Member
Nik, on 07 January 2012 - 04:23 AM, said:
MintyLimeGreen, on 07 January 2012 - 12:37 AM, said:
Happens a lot, Nik.
Thought it might be worth noting something about the situation. Alisha hates me again. I don't know why. Chris says he's said nothing to her because it would only upset her if she found out what I had said to her. I don't think he's said anything to her though. That would just make it harder on him because she's whine about it for ages and I doubt he'd want to put himself through that.
Anyways, I tried talking to her yesterday. Nothing serious, just some lighthearted conversation. I saw her pop up online on my instant messenger and said hello to her and how I was surprised to see her online, but not Chris since it's highly unusual. She's never online anymore. Chris always tells me how she's not online and how it bothers him that he rarely sees her online and in real life. So I jokingly pointed out the oddity. She ignored me for a few hours, never responding to my message and then she finally responds with a, "Go away and leave me alone already." leaving me rather puzzled.
I asked Chris what was up with her. He tells me no idea, but she's been moody lately. I saw her online again today and tentatively gave a little, "Hello, how are you today?" and got a, "I can't stand talking to you." as a response. I thought, "Meh. Screw it. I don't know why she's always in PMS mode anyhow." and left it at that. See, Chris isn't mad at me, but now she is. Hell I don't even know anymore. I really hope they break up at this point, because I just plain don't like her.
Thought it might be worth noting something about the situation. Alisha hates me again. I don't know why. Chris says he's said nothing to her because it would only upset her if she found out what I had said to her. I don't think he's said anything to her though. That would just make it harder on him because she's whine about it for ages and I doubt he'd want to put himself through that.
Anyways, I tried talking to her yesterday. Nothing serious, just some lighthearted conversation. I saw her pop up online on my instant messenger and said hello to her and how I was surprised to see her online, but not Chris since it's highly unusual. She's never online anymore. Chris always tells me how she's not online and how it bothers him that he rarely sees her online and in real life. So I jokingly pointed out the oddity. She ignored me for a few hours, never responding to my message and then she finally responds with a, "Go away and leave me alone already." leaving me rather puzzled.
I asked Chris what was up with her. He tells me no idea, but she's been moody lately. I saw her online again today and tentatively gave a little, "Hello, how are you today?" and got a, "I can't stand talking to you." as a response. I thought, "Meh. Screw it. I don't know why she's always in PMS mode anyhow." and left it at that. See, Chris isn't mad at me, but now she is. Hell I don't even know anymore. I really hope they break up at this point, because I just plain don't like her.
So this is the point where you say, "Fuck that bitch who wasn't really a friend to begin with." And guess what? You lost someone who ain't a friend anymore! No loss!
If Chris cares enough to ask why you decided not to be friends with her anymore just explain that if she doesn't want to try to remain friends why should you? A friendship takes work from both sides and she doesn't care about it anymore.
Finally, remember that you being friends with Alisha isn't apart of the friendship with Chris. Those are two separate things and really should be treated as such. I am not saying be hostile, but don't exchange pleasantries and such.
this was the confusing part.
This post has been edited by Chris: 07 January 2012 - 04:41 AM
- #139
- 07 January 2012 - 04:41 AM
- Meleeman
- Member
Craft aids, on 06 January 2012 - 06:15 PM, said:
@empty, dots, rose
notice that the only people that seem to really feal that people are being harsh all have girls who think that they are stalkers and all deny that they are actualy stalkers even though the rest of thee internet unanimously argees that they are stalkears.
The internet is being harsh to you because you are funny. Understand this and understand it is 100% your fault. Feel worse about it then you feel about the stalking situation and fix it. Understand that we will continue to say entertaining things as long as you subject yourself to our judgment and understand that it will not completely stop doing this when it stops being funny. Also understand that there is truth in the hyperboly and a method to our madness. I will, however, agree that we jumped to the stalking conclution early however, it seems like we were right.
notice that the only people that seem to really feal that people are being harsh all have girls who think that they are stalkers and all deny that they are actualy stalkers even though the rest of thee internet unanimously argees that they are stalkears.
The internet is being harsh to you because you are funny. Understand this and understand it is 100% your fault. Feel worse about it then you feel about the stalking situation and fix it. Understand that we will continue to say entertaining things as long as you subject yourself to our judgment and understand that it will not completely stop doing this when it stops being funny. Also understand that there is truth in the hyperboly and a method to our madness. I will, however, agree that we jumped to the stalking conclution early however, it seems like we were right.
they could hire you to write disclaimers.
- #140
- 07 January 2012 - 04:46 AM
- MintyLimeGreen
- Member
Ahahahah Jerk you bastard. You merged my posts into this festering pile of High School drama and confused the living hell out of me. I saw, "Romance Problems" and then my name as the topic creator and was so perplexed you don't even know. Mine is technically friend problems. I got a laugh out of this nonetheless. Thank you, Jerk.
Edit: Also, if you notice, I originally was saying Christopher, because of the Chris on the forum. I got tired of typing out his full name and ended up just saying Chris. Sorry Chris.
I got a laugh out of this nonetheless. Thank you, Jerk.Edit: Also, if you notice, I originally was saying Christopher, because of the Chris on the forum. I got tired of typing out his full name and ended up just saying Chris. Sorry Chris.
This post has been edited by MintyLimeGreen: 07 January 2012 - 06:13 AM
- #144
- 07 January 2012 - 06:11 AM
- MintyLimeGreen
- Member
That's true. If this thread because as angst filled as I hope, I could grow to love it.
- #146
- 07 January 2012 - 06:19 AM
- Lux Aeterna
- Member
Well I guess I'll answer both of these in one topic.
@Minty: I mean, I don't mean to be discouraging--or repeat what most others have said, but that's not much that /you/ can do personally without directly intervening... which pretty much always causes problems unless a miracle happens. The best you can do is try to lay out the facts in front of him in such a way that he'll realize he's being used.
... The sad thing about this is, if he's genuinely, irrefutably happy, it's almost a tragedy that he'll likely someday be torn apart from her in an extremely painful way. Because in his perception, it's all aces... But that fabrication will be ripped apart at the seams as soon as things fall apart. And they will, judging by the way things are going.
So yeah, best suggestion I can give is to give him a wake-up call.
@Amaris: ... Wow, this... Wow. What. Okay, since I've never been in this situation myself (I think you might--MIGHT be the only one on the forum who has), I can only offer what I think makes sense. For starters, all of them treat you strangely because of how they've felt, yeah?
Now I'm not saying anything against you personally--and if all of them genuinely love you then you must be a damn good catch (don't take that the wrong way--I'm just saying), but I doubt their love is genuine. Consider that in each case, they treat you differently because you don't feel the same/are still in a vulnerable state from your last relationship. That's... not love. If they loved you, they'd accept it and just keep being friends with you. Infatuation maybe, but if they loved you, they would realize how awful doing that to you would make you feel. I mean, like, in the girl's case it was basically an ultimatum--"LOVE ME OR WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE"
I don't claim to know their minds or them, but maybe they have their own problems that compel them to latch onto you so desperately. I don't know what they are, but it would offer explanation as to their make-it-or-break-it attitude. And God I feel like it's insulting you by saying that it's not real love but that's not what I mean to do... ;;
I guess you have a few options here. One would be to tell them what they're doing and outright accuse them that it's not love, or they wouldn't be doing this. That might not be your style--too aggressive, too self-righteous... and kind of dangerous, because if done wrong, it might seal away any chance of the friendships healing.
Second choice is to ask them to put it aside, at least for the time being. Tell them that you genuinely value what you had and that you don't want it to fall apart just because of an incongruity in how intense each person's feelings are.
Third choice is to, well, get new friends. I know that sounds cold, but depending on how they're acting towards you, you might just want to find new people who won't push you into a corner because of something that isn't even your fault. The friends you have seem prone to guilt-trapping, at least from this experience you've shown us. Besides, as long as you can manage all the people, a wider friend circle is always good.
I'm sorry if none of this helped either of you, Minty or Amaris. But I guess I tried. ;;
@Minty: I mean, I don't mean to be discouraging--or repeat what most others have said, but that's not much that /you/ can do personally without directly intervening... which pretty much always causes problems unless a miracle happens. The best you can do is try to lay out the facts in front of him in such a way that he'll realize he's being used.
... The sad thing about this is, if he's genuinely, irrefutably happy, it's almost a tragedy that he'll likely someday be torn apart from her in an extremely painful way. Because in his perception, it's all aces... But that fabrication will be ripped apart at the seams as soon as things fall apart. And they will, judging by the way things are going.
So yeah, best suggestion I can give is to give him a wake-up call.
@Amaris: ... Wow, this... Wow. What. Okay, since I've never been in this situation myself (I think you might--MIGHT be the only one on the forum who has), I can only offer what I think makes sense. For starters, all of them treat you strangely because of how they've felt, yeah?
Now I'm not saying anything against you personally--and if all of them genuinely love you then you must be a damn good catch (don't take that the wrong way--I'm just saying), but I doubt their love is genuine. Consider that in each case, they treat you differently because you don't feel the same/are still in a vulnerable state from your last relationship. That's... not love. If they loved you, they'd accept it and just keep being friends with you. Infatuation maybe, but if they loved you, they would realize how awful doing that to you would make you feel. I mean, like, in the girl's case it was basically an ultimatum--"LOVE ME OR WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE"
I don't claim to know their minds or them, but maybe they have their own problems that compel them to latch onto you so desperately. I don't know what they are, but it would offer explanation as to their make-it-or-break-it attitude. And God I feel like it's insulting you by saying that it's not real love but that's not what I mean to do... ;;
I guess you have a few options here. One would be to tell them what they're doing and outright accuse them that it's not love, or they wouldn't be doing this. That might not be your style--too aggressive, too self-righteous... and kind of dangerous, because if done wrong, it might seal away any chance of the friendships healing.
Second choice is to ask them to put it aside, at least for the time being. Tell them that you genuinely value what you had and that you don't want it to fall apart just because of an incongruity in how intense each person's feelings are.
Third choice is to, well, get new friends. I know that sounds cold, but depending on how they're acting towards you, you might just want to find new people who won't push you into a corner because of something that isn't even your fault. The friends you have seem prone to guilt-trapping, at least from this experience you've shown us. Besides, as long as you can manage all the people, a wider friend circle is always good.
I'm sorry if none of this helped either of you, Minty or Amaris. But I guess I tried. ;;
This post has been edited by Lux Aeterna: 07 January 2012 - 07:56 AM
- #148
- 07 January 2012 - 07:53 AM
- Nik
- Banned
@ Lux
Just an Fyi. We kinda already mostly 'solved' Minty's problem. At least to the degree that she has talked to Christopher and he had made it clear that he didn't want to hear those things from his friend. So yeah. We also gave the advice to remain friends and be there for him when it ends.
Yeah...
Just an Fyi. We kinda already mostly 'solved' Minty's problem. At least to the degree that she has talked to Christopher and he had made it clear that he didn't want to hear those things from his friend. So yeah. We also gave the advice to remain friends and be there for him when it ends.
Yeah...
- #150
- 07 January 2012 - 03:52 PM