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Romance Problems

  • Craft aids
  • That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
    Banned
If romance seems to be ruening your good times and she keeps talking about all the other people she likes, maybe you two are better off as freinds? If that's incorrect, you would be freind zoning her and that's not cool. It could just be cold feet. Wait, scratch all that.

If one unplesant day is enought to get you to question the relationship entirely, maybe there shouldn't be a relationship.

@esalaka
read the page.

Also@esalaka
there has been at least one reported attempted pedofilic relationship
  • #201

Oh, damn you, don't break my automerge, boyeveryone.

asdf: Do you want to talk about it? There was this one kid who used to ask me all the time what he should do about some girl and I kept telling him the same thing and I guess he did it in the end so I already have experience in ruining potential relationships for 15-year-olds

I'm not even being ironic, except maybe in that ruining potential relationships part. Because that was totally not caused by me yelling at the kid. It was accidental. And happened while both people were located around ten metres from me. So you would be safe I guess.

This post has been edited by esalaka: 10 January 2012 - 09:58 PM

  • #202

Alright then, I trust you know.
But all I really want her to know is that I like her. I don't want to change her feelings for her GF or get nervous around me.

There's a problem with this that I don't understand though. See, she wants to know who I like. Hehe, but I believe that she
already knows how I feel about her! Before Christmas break, as I was about to leave, a friend of mine pretty much told her...*insert my rage here*
Now, after we got back from break, she suddenly starts talking to me and fallowing around? Pretending that she doesn't know?
She doesn't know how bad it hurts me though :(.

This post has been edited by asdf: 10 January 2012 - 10:14 PM

  • #203

Wait

So basically
a) A friend of yours already essentially told her
b) She follows you around and talks to you
c) She pretends she doesn't know

I'm just guessing here but
Maybe these things are related?
  • #204

Related to what? (I feel stupid)
Oh yeah, and she straight up told me that someone told her, but she "forgot".
Oh, and at lunch another friend of ours goes, "Yeah dude, she likes you too, so yeah". She was in full hearing distance...but no comment or expression. :nope:

This post has been edited by asdf: 10 January 2012 - 10:21 PM

  • #205

I can't speak from personal experience but all these alpha as fuck people from the internet told me that if you're interested in someone you should ask them out.

From personal experience I can tell that usually if you really have something for her while she couldn't care less confessing is a great way to drop all that silliness. I used to have a crush on a girl who wasn't interested me at all. She claimed she didn't want a relationship of any sort really. (And now, a year or two later this girl younger than me is engaged to some guy from whereever. Go figure.)
  • #206

My advice is to let her know that you ____ her. Like her, dislike her or whatever, get that out there.

Secondly if you do like her make sure that after telling her that, that you make it known that you want her to square away her other relationship. Also remember that you are young so this stuff should really be all about having fun, nothing too serious.
  • #207

I can agree with the above

But remember that I'm the person who nobody likes (:() and who's never had a girlfriend for probably various reasons

So me agreeing with that is based purely on some intuitive sense of how the world should work and not how it actually works

This post has been edited by esalaka: 10 January 2012 - 10:29 PM

  • #208

View PostJerk, on 10 January 2012 - 05:17 AM, said:

It's just high school romance. Take a step back and detach yourself first and then tell her to detach herself. The only reason you should bother to say that you'd just let a chance with her slip past you is that you don't trust yourself enough to keep her happy, in which case your self esteem is pretty fucking low, or you're too scared to take a risk and be candid with her about how you feel without ending up sounding like a creeper, in which case your self esteem is pretty fucking low. Her actions are literally saying, "This is important enough to me that I would inflict bodily mutilation on myself to distract me." Can you reconcile what she does with what she feels for you? Allow me to answer that: yes, you can, and you can pick your words carefully enough to tell her how you feel without making her feel like a negative response would devastate you.


^This.

TL,DR: Don't worry, just go for it and choose your words carefully so that you won't make her feel like it's a huge deal to you if she says no, but still something that makes her feel that you care about her and you really mean it.
  • #209

Nik when I'm told that I look age 21 from a distance, sound age 16 over Internet chatting, get into clubs and movies by lying, and hang around with guys age 17+, I begin to question my actual age.

This post has been edited by asdf: 10 January 2012 - 10:30 PM

  • #210

Fine then, have fun. If you think you won't have fun with that then don't do it. If you think you will then go for it.
  • #211

Everyone who likes anyone ever should just get it out in the open. Rejection is not a horrible thing and you will get over it as long as you don't dwell on it for ages and mope around in the dark corner of your bedroom listening to Hawthorne Heights while crying over a photo of the the person you stalked liked.

But no seriously, unless the person is a very close friend (In which case they won't be such a great friend if they cut all ties with you for confessing to them.) and you think it'll ruin things. Seriously though, "dated" my best friend Kevin for a short time period and we got along the same as before dating. And after we "broke up" we were the same. Of course the only reason why we stopped sort of dating was because he moved several states away and we decided it was unhealthy for us (Being so young.) to fixate ourselves into a long distance relationship. We stayed friends and we still talk.
  • #212

View PostMintyLimeGreen, on 10 January 2012 - 10:35 PM, said:

listening to Hawthorne Heights


I've found that Radiohead works pretty well. Something like No Surprises, Creep, Fake Plastic Trees and Street Spirit should do the trick.

Also, if you want to feel angry Megadeth is nice. I used to use music to get myself to feel terrible when I was 15-16 so I think I know this stuff pretty well.
  • #213

  • Craft aids
  • That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
    Banned
Wait...this isn't about an internal conflict, this is about an external conflict.
She already thinks she knows who you like and she asks you who you like. She doing same retarded things that she did last time she likes someone. She does like someone. One of her freinds has told you that she likes you. Everyone already knows everything.

The issue is that all her freinds and all your freinds are buzzing around you like a bunch of match making, flying anuses and are all waiting for a scene. Because of them, neither of you had to say a word so now you are strugelling with public embarasment but you are still in the "don't be the first one to have an emotion" part of your relationship. If you are the one who she likes, she is probably hurting more then you. After all, didn't you say something about cutting?

What I'm getting is that your only issue is embarasment mixed with the fact that you don't like her quite enough to just get over it even though everyone knows. If you're wrong, at least the social pressure will blow over once she says she doesn't like you.

My recomendations, when someone drags you to the side to tell you to go for it, make them feal like a smelly, pulsating, turd. Say something like, "You're not helping, you're hurting" but using far ruder language. Find a way to say it so bluntly that they will chastise the next person who tryes to inturupt.
Don't just confess, wait until she meantions her guilty love and then ask if you are it. That way you can say "don't chainge the subject, I asked first" when she asks if you like her because the subject is about her relationships rather then your fealings. If she doesn't like you, she doesn't have to feal quite as bad for potentialy hurting you.
  • #214

The funny thing is assuming my relationship holds together (not as though I have no faith, just that I'm always prepared for anything) to college, then I'm bolting for Texas. Dream college there and dream girl in the state above.

... But truly what might be sad or funny is I can't wait to get out of here. Not that I hate anyone here or that I don't love my parents or have friends and stuff, but... I want to move on. Start my own life. As Taeshi said, there's phone calls and stuff, so it's not like they're gone. But yeah, I have no regrets about leaving in 1 1/2 years. The opposite, as a matter of fact.

I'd post something about my e-lationship but I assume that none of you care, I can't think of any problem at the moment (nothing /pressing/ anyway, it would just be a discussion), and I generally can work things out with her.

Oh and it'd be really awkward since she can read this.

Also, Minty and Taeshi... DAYUM. The sacrifices you two made. I'm impressed.

This post has been edited by Lux Aeterna: 11 January 2012 - 12:48 AM

  • #215

View PostLux Aeterna, on 11 January 2012 - 12:48 AM, said:

The funny thing is assuming my relationship holds together (not as though I have no faith, just that I'm always prepared for anything) to college, then I'm bolting for Texas. Dream college there and dream girl in the state above.

... But truly what might be sad or funny is I can't wait to get out of here. Not that I hate anyone here or that I don't love my parents or have friends and stuff, but... I want to move on. Start my own life. As Taeshi said, there's phone calls and stuff, so it's not like they're gone. But yeah, I have no regrets about leaving in 1 1/2 years. The opposite, as a matter of fact.

I'd post something about my e-lationship but I assume that none of you care, I can't think of any problem at the moment (nothing /pressing/ anyway, it would just be a discussion), and I generally can work things out with her.

Oh and it'd be really awkward since she can read this.

Also, Minty and Taeshi... DAYUM. The sacrifices you two made. I'm impressed.


I wanted to do that a year ago and I still do, it is cheaper there then it is here to live and lots IT jobs there. I would recommend you visit a few times before trying to bolt though.
  • #216

If you're saying visit Texas, I do that once a year, since my cousins live there. Well, half my family, really.
  • #217

You do what you have to for love. :P Really though, I don't regret my choice nor did I find it to be a sacrifice. I would never ever pin it on Kyle or guilt him into thinking he made me leave my old life behind. He never forced me to do anything, I did it of my own accord. Guilting him into thinking it was his fault would make me a petty bitch.
  • #218

Well the funny thing is it's actually really convenient that I can go to Texas, considering...

-The reason I mentioned before
-Half my family lives there (and they're awesome)
-I like heat a lot better
-The college I want to go to is there, and it's 7th in the country for my planned major

It's good to know that things work out so easy for me. A part of me feels like I'm not doing much at all if I'm not losing that much, but that's just silly.
  • #219

Talked to some of my close friends about the possibility of me moving to Ontario. They're really upset, but supportive.
  • #220

View PostBourbon, on 11 January 2012 - 02:34 AM, said:

Talked to some of my close friends about the possibility of me moving to Ontario. They're really upset, but supportive.


I do hope it works out for you!

This post has been edited by Zevida: 11 January 2012 - 02:36 AM

  • #221

Good for you Bourbon! True friends will support you even if you moving away makes them sad. Your happiness should be the most important thing to anybody who truly cares about you.

Edit: I'll be rooting for you either way!

This post has been edited by MintyLimeGreen: 11 January 2012 - 04:32 AM

  • #222

I forgot who once told me this, but here's a funny story about romance Internet fiction.

"I have a girlfriend I've been dating for about a year that I love very much. She recently got into an skiing accident and lost her memory. She didn't recognize me or her family. She's finally got out of the hospital last week and returned to high school. I've been trying to make her remember our relationship, but it's really hard. Just a couple days ago I had to teach her what carrots where! I don't know if I can continue this relationship anymore, because she doesn't even seem interested in me. What should I do?"

Note, this was posted on the Current Events board of GameFAQs years ago. It's just funny to me the audacity of the Internet. Why do people think blatant lies like this are even alright? Seriously? Teach her what carrots are? Does she have the mentality of a 3 year old or something then? Why the hell is she back in High School? If you're going to lie on the Internet to look cool, at least lie well enough to make your story plausible. What's more terrible is the people who actually believe them. I feel sorry for those people, because they are clearly fucking retarded and will probably die out there in the real world.

This post has been edited by MintyLimeGreen: 11 January 2012 - 07:51 AM

  • #223

  • Chris
  • teabagging furfag
    Member
@Every Craft-Aids post ever.


  • #224

View PostBourbon, on 11 January 2012 - 02:34 AM, said:

Talked to some of my close friends about the possibility of me moving to Ontario. They're really upset, but supportive.


The southern region (GTA, Ottawa) or somewhere remote?
  • #225

Hamilton, maybe more near Toronto.
  • #226

There's this girl that I haven't seen in about 5 years(she lives in Arizona). When I first met her, all I can remember was telling a joke to my friend and hearing her laughing in the background. When I turned to see her, well, she's probably the cutest girl that I've ever really met. We'd always be with eachother almost every day of the week, and she was
always so happy...it was like, anything we did together(even if I didn't like it) was still fun. She's the only girl that I've never once gotten mad at, or anything. She's unlike any other girl I have ever met. Unique if I say so myself.
I recenty received a letter in my mail from her.
I want to write back, but I just don't know what to write.
This girl...I think that this is the girl that I
love...but I'm not sure.

But this is the problem, "She lives in Arizona" hundreds of miles away from me. For all I know, she might already have a boyfriend...girlfriend...whatever. I just don't want to break myself over this, because I don't think a distant relationship would be healthy for me. But I also think that this might be the best girl that I'll ever meet.
Get over her, or just wait for a miracle....UGH

This post has been edited by asdf: 02 February 2012 - 03:19 AM

  • #227

So what specifically is the problem? What is the decision you need advice on? I hope you don't want advice on the whole general thing cause that advice can get really messy really quickly.
  • #228

Guys. I like this girl. What should I do?
  • #229

That's a great conversation opener for someone you haven't talked to for what I'm assuming is a year or two "I want you" yeah I know that's not what you mean I just think I'm funny
But in all seriousness. If you haven't ever been mad at her, that's pretty much a sign that you don't know her well enough. Take it slow, calm down, no one's going anywhere (because she's gone anyways ololol im so funy). Don't get mad at her if she chooses a relationship with someone she can actually see as opposed to a long-distance one, you'd probably choose the same in her position. And you're right, long-distance relationships, in the long run, end up not being healthy, so you just might to want to, I don't know, not.

tl;dr: Give it awhile of talking to her before you go "omgz i luv u", and understand that'd she probably prefer a relationship that's actually there. Long-distance relationships are usually dumb.

View PostPurin, on 02 February 2012 - 04:16 AM, said:

Guys. I like this girl. What should I do?


Stop, drop and roll.

This post has been edited by Octahedron: 02 February 2012 - 04:19 AM

  • #230

Perhaps he should also get on the floor? Then do the dinosaur!
  • #231

  • Craft aids
  • That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
    Banned

View PostPurin, on 02 February 2012 - 04:16 AM, said:

Guys. I like this girl. What should I do?

Cuting off your genitals with fix that

View Postasdf, on 02 February 2012 - 03:10 AM, said:

There's this girl that I haven't seen in about 5 years(she lives in Arizona). When I first met her, all I can remember was telling a joke to my friend and hearing her laughing in the background. When I turned to see her, well, she's probably the cutest girl that I've ever really met. We'd always be with eachother almost every day of the week, and she was
always so happy...it was like, anything we did together(even if I didn't like it) was still fun. She's the only girl that I've never once gotten mad at, or anything. She's unlike any other girl I have ever met. Unique if I say so myself.
I recenty received a letter in my mail from her.
I want to write back, but I just don't know what to write.
This girl...I think that this is the girl that I
love...but I'm not sure.

But this is the problem, "She lives in Arizona" hundreds of miles away from me. For all I know, she might already have a boyfriend...girlfriend...whatever. I just don't want to break myself over this, because I don't think a distant relationship would be healthy for me. But I also think that this might be the best girl that I'll ever meet.
Get over her, or just wait for a miracle....UGH

Weren't you just in here about a girl?

Had you considered that you are just trying to find a girl as soon as you can and that you might be jumping to conclutions?

In any case, the steps are simple

1.Get first impression of girl(asuming attraction)
2.Ignore

or

1.Get first impression of girl(asuming attraction)
2.Become her freind
3.get freind zoned 300 times and then find "the one".

or

1.Get first impression of girl(asuming attraction)
2.Bang within 30 hours
3.If she sticks around you can make a futile shot at cortship with this brod you don't know

This post has been edited by Craft aids: 02 February 2012 - 07:01 PM

  • #232

Those are shittiest 3 steps to being a dumbass I have ever had the displeasure of reading, craft. You need to work on your comedic touch.
  • #233

  • Craft aids
  • That doesn't sound like a rape. That sounds like suprise sex
    Banned
What?
It's not like anyone is going to be honest and mature about their fealings while still balancing the basics of freindship and managing not to be needy or a creepy stalker.
  • #234

Sometimes I wonder if people like Craft Aids just take words that bear vague relevance to the topic and throw them together haphazardly in a way that they hope makes sense.

And sometimes spelling them wrong.
  • #235

View PostNik, on 02 February 2012 - 04:25 AM, said:

Perhaps he should also get on the floor? Then do the dinosaur!

You make me chuckle XD I love that song

Back on topic:

So you haven't seen her in 5 years? Have you also been out of communication with her for that long? If that's the case, DON'T TELL HER YOUR FEELINGS YET! That can come off as really creepy, really quickly. Talk with her as you would an old friend. Get to know her more. I'm sure she has a lot to tell you in the five years you've been apart.

Plus, how far away is Arizona from where you are? If it's not within reasonable driving distance, I'd highly suggest you don't go any further with any romantic pursuits. If you can see her twice a month (maybe even once a month), then chill with her for a while before making a decision to deepen your friendship. Maybe she'll also be open to the idea of being more than friends after a few visits.
  • #236

How can you even be sure of your feelings? People do change and 5 years is a long time. How do you know she still is the same? Take at least a month of communication to get to know her and then maybe work on asking to go further after that grace period.
  • #237

Alright next time I should be more detailed.
I'm wondering wether I should just move on to someone else, or wait one day to see her again, and see how things would go from there.

I've actually taken most of these things into consideration.
@Nure of course I wouldn't tell her that!
  • #238

View Postasdf, on 03 February 2012 - 05:07 AM, said:

Alright next time I should be more detailed.
I'm wondering wether I should just move on to someone else, or wait one day to see her again, and see how things would go from there.

I've actually taken most of these things into consideration.
@Nure of course I wouldn't tell her that!

I will say this, don't hold your hopes up that maybe in the future you will see her and everything will click and be awesome, cause chances are that won't happen. Instead pursue others you may be interested in and stuff, and if you see her in the future and it does click then awesome.
  • #239

Nik is right. Don't keep yourself held back for the hopes of having a person you don't even know is available for you. Keep your options open and get to know people in your general area!
  • #240

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