I think not talking to her would be better minty.
the only thing that he could really say at this point that would help in any way would probably to apologize, and give her his assurance that the harassment will stop. furthermore, he should forget about getting her romantically, and tell her he only freaked out and went stalker on her because he panicked over loosing such a close friend. he should tell her that he understands if she doesn't wish to remain friends, but sincerely wishes that they do. he should then leave it up to the girl weather or not to remain friends. the only hope is that she looks at your apologetic attitude, and sees that you understand the error of your ways, and that now that you do, the creepiness will cease. even is she does accept, understand that things will be awkward between you for a long time. keep with it, and absolutely drop the romance, and perhaps one day your friendship will be repaired.
remember, I have experience with a situation similar. I pined after a girl, and after "going to homecoming as friends", where I told her my feelings, she avoided me. I tried to get into contact with her, but she seemed to want little to do with me. after I dropped it for about six months, I had a chance to speak with her, and had a long conversation with her. at the end of it we decided that we would be friends, and only friends. now? things are still a bit awkward, but every day a little less. she is a good friend, and I try to be the same to her. it was hard, not picking up the phone and calling again, but I understood that it was the best thing. now things are better. not perfect, but better.
now you should also understand that I didn't go the lengths that you have, and that I only attempted to talk to her, phone or in person, three or four times before I got the message. you have gone much farther, and this greatly impacts the chances you have in saving the relationship negatively. will it work? that remains to be seen. but, an apology and an assurance that this behavior will stop will most likely improve your chances.
if she wants nothing to do with you, smile, say you understand. walk away. leave it.
at that point, there is nothing more you could really do. just get on with your life and file it away into your past experiences. remember it. remember so that it never happens again. learn from it, but don't be bitter.
above all, don't be mad at her. I've seen guys get rejected and place all the blame on the girl, saying that she's just a dumb bitch or whatever. what I am about to say is harsh, it will hurt to hear, and you will want to deny it, but don't. you have no one to blame for this situation but yourself. now, don't be super depressed over this, don't be discouraged. I am guessing you have little relationship experience? the first one always ends up in tears. always. this is your first learning experience in a lifetime of romantic relationships. you will fail. everyone does. it's how we take those failures and learn from them that we become better, and more experienced. this goes for everyone, from the toddler taking his first steps to the teenager trying to get a girl. imagine riding a bike. the first time you got on, you fell off. you can call the bike shitty, you can say the ground was slick and made you fall, you can claim someone yelled at you and distracted you. you can blame any number of things. you can just sit on the ground with a scraped knee and cry all day. but only once you accept that it was your fault, that you are the cause, and understand your mistake, and get back on and try again can you actually learn from it. sometimes the ground is slick, sometimes the bike is shitty. but when something like this happens it is all too easy to blame those around you, and deny your faults. learning to accept that you fucked up is a huge part of life. even the best of men fail. they can fail spectacularly, but what makes them the best of men is their ability to understand their faults and mistakes. you think the world's biggest romeo didn't get shot down a bunch when he began? it hurts. I know. but the only way to learn is through messing up.
now, there is a limit to what we can do for you. you can get all of the advice in the world and still fail, because you lack actual experience. advice helps, but in no way is it comparable or a replacement for actual relationships. you can read all the driving manuals you want, but the first time you get on the road you will still drive like a jackass. we all do. experience is the greatest teacher.
so I guess what i'm trying to say is get back out there and fail
. because you will. because if you do, and you learn from it
, it will
"Experience keeps a dear school, yet fools learn in no other.
This post has been edited by Chris: 06 January 2012 - 01:28 AM