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I never understood it when I was a kid, and I still don't, but apparently, it runs in the family, so they had me do it at this catholic church during my oh-so-young age where I'm somehow expected to understand its significance. The guilt they put me through was quite overwhelming at the time, where they tried to keep me "sinless" until that ceremony, and the pressure terrified to no end. Goddamn religion. Confessions with a priest were some of the most awkward moments ever.

If they do it right, the concept of being pure and doing the right thing and coming clean about your flaws and mistakes should be refreshing and not awkward or a guilt trip. Sadly, people are stupid, and they can't make religion work.

Nobody ever tells the truth in confession anyway. I was a real perverted kid growing up, what the fuck made them think I'd tell an 80 year old man who was also one of my teachers that I had discovered masturbation? So much guilt over that.

All I remember about my first communion was that I was the only kid in a white tux (like a bawse) and that my first words coming back from receiving the Eucharist were 'why does Jesus taste like cardboard? You'd think the son of God could have some flavor'. 40 Our Fathers and 60 Hail Marys later...

Not a fan of religion in general, as religion is man-made.

I can't tell you, I ain't Catholic but I am Christian.

@Bourbon
At Orthodox churches they use real fucking bread, so I loved that shit as a kid. The wine was sweet.
So I take it you went to catholic school?

This post has been edited by CaptainBaconMan: 10 January 2012 - 06:53 AM

All up until high school. I used to be like really into religion, albeit because I found the concepts and teachings fascinating but felt they weren't getting it quite right in practice. I would take extra classes afterschool as sort of a priest-to-be training program and even became a minister when I was of age just because I thought it'd help. As I got older though I started to understand most people don't really care to hear the peaceful aspects of religion and would rather take everything at face value. Plus, said 80 year old priest scolded me for being sad when my dog died under our Christmas tree saying dogs don't have souls and I wasn't appreciating Jesus enough. Kind of turned me off to the whole 'the clergy are a window to God' idea.

Bourbon, on 10 January 2012 - 06:44 AM, said:

Thus defeating the whole point of confession. See what I mean about the guilt thing?


The bread did taste pretty sweet though, like eating plain cookies. I had a whole bag of them in the post-ceremony party.

This post has been edited by Marshmallow: 10 January 2012 - 07:02 AM

That's mean, you ate all the Jesus and didn't save any for the others. And what the shit, everyone had good Eucharist accept my parish? We had little flavorless wafers with a cross in it that pretty much turned to plain farina in your mouth. We weren't allowed to chew, it was frowned upon. Guess nomming your lord and savior is fine as long as you don't enjoy it.

First communion made made my hate for god increase by 90%. We had horrible teachers that said you would go to hell for even the smallest sins. It sent me onto a depression that I will never forget, to this day, I'm still not over it.
And when I was done with that priest, he says "pray 7 Hail Marry's". Oh please, I
prayed that for 12 years, and it didn't protect me from sin at all. I felt no relief, and no
weight lifted of my shoulders,
no forgiveness...I'm just glad therapy started before I killed myself.
But now I wonder if I still believe in him

nope

This post has been edited by asdf: 10 January 2012 - 07:54 AM

For the longest time, my parent's church made me believe I was going to Hell because I wasn't baptized correctly. Imagine how scared and confused a 9 year old girl would be hearing her teachers and pastor telling her she was going to burn in Hell for all eternity because she wasn't baptized right. Not only that, but later (When I was around 13.) I was forced to go on a mission trip to Mexico. Not only were the Mexicans rude and horrible to us, but the girls were treated even worse and forced to clean and cook the whole time we were there. I promptly outright refused and said the boys should help equally. The pastor said the men (Yes, the 13-16 year old boys were the men and we were the girls. -_-) had more important things to do... Like go get drunk and have a good time.

At that point, I was fed up with the church and refused to do anything. Pastor said I was going to Hell and what not. Told him he could screw himself and locked myself in the room until the mission trip was over. That's when I told my mom I wasn't going to a Christian school anymore. Sent to military school then. Though when I started High School I was allowed to go to a normal public school. That was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. More or less this is the reason why I stopped being a conventional Christian. I still hold certain beliefs, but I no longer attend church because the people there constantly judge you and gossip.

On the topic of communion, I still don't see the point in doing that. It seems pointless aside from me getting a tiny free cup of grape juice and a shitty cracker the size of a tic tac.

Is that the thing where they gather the kid's family and cut off the tip of his penis? Sorry, I'm not very familiar with stupid rituals.

I think Jews are the ones that do that, Jerk.

Jerk, on 10 January 2012 - 07:48 AM, said:

No this is the one where they might tramatize the child, and make them think that they're going to hell at a young age.

Baptists just hold those little fuckers underwater until they get enough brain damage from oxygen deprivation to stick their religion like rabid wolverines.

But kids are like burritos that way: leave them in long enough, you'll get what you want; leave them in too long, you'll get Klansmen and Republicans.

I hate when my burritos hold radical and outdated beliefs too.

My siblings and I were openly called bastard children and products of sin, in front of us and other children, because my parents weren't married in their parish. My grandmother was dying of cancer and my mom was pregnant with me, they had a rushed wedding and no honeymoon to make sure my grandma was alive to see it. This made us disgusting. We were often told we couldn't receive communion with the other kids when certain, more stubborn priests were there, and would be locked out of the church if we were late and made to walk the 4 blocks to school regardless of the weather. My parents weren't allowed to attend mass at all, because my father reacted to our mistreatment by threatening to kick the head priests ass on the alter in front of God himself. They still had to pay the mandatory church donation every week, though.

I'm glad I was baptized improperly then, Jerk.

Jerk, on 10 January 2012 - 08:24 AM, said:

Jerk. I love you.

I remember growing up I was about 18 at this point. Well I wasn't married when I had sex for the first time, my mom told me I was going to hell. I also liked video games growing up along with cartoons and I was told I would go to hell for watching/liking theses. I have had so called Christians tell me I am whore and other things. Which made me turned my nose up at it, if that is what religion is about I want no part of it. I think religion is fine as long you keep it private and not shove it down people's throats.

Kinda NSFW

This post has been edited by Jerk: 10 January 2012 - 05:16 PM

Christian means crist-like. Declairing yourself to be not unlike the son of god always seemed a tad egotistical to me. Now, if only people could deliver on that title.

StrawHat, on 10 January 2012 - 06:45 AM, said:

You must hate so very, many things

MintyLimeGreen, on 10 January 2012 - 07:37 AM, said:

If it helps, there is a point in the bible, no I don't remember where, where the idea of "church" is defined in a way so that any location where you should choose to worship is within the domain of the house of the lord and is good enough. Oh the other hand, I have yet to hear of or find a paragraph that says that we even need an organisation that guides us in worship. A holy man might be needed for confession and babtism, I don't know, but I think that a babtism can be done whenever you choose to accept the lord as your savior. Without that, it's not a babtism. It's just some water, you know?

Bourbon, on 10 January 2012 - 07:17 AM, said:

I am not a picky eater. On the few ocations when I was in a church and somone handed me a cracker, I nom-ed it. I nom-ed it good.

babtism?

Rex, on 10 January 2012 - 07:19 PM, said:

I lol'd.

Craft aids is notorious for his bad spelling.

wacko, on 10 January 2012 - 07:31 PM, said:

Someone should get him a spell checker for his birthday.

They tried that, it took two hostages after spending less than an hour with him. The police sniped it. It wasn't pretty....


On topic: I've honestly never been baptized and never had communion. My mom actually insisted I wait until I was 18, then do it myself. Life is fun when your parents aren't shoving their religion down your throat (she was a baptized Catholic).

Fun fact: my mom got away with the divorce she had because my parents were married by the military. Supposedly. I honestly think the pastor just didn't like the dickhole.

My parents were very lenient about religion, the reason I ended up in Catholic school so long was my family deemed it much safer than the public schools in my area, since I would've had to go to School 9. School 9 was Blood territory. I was white and autistic. Wasn't a good fit.

I've never been baptized, and never been communioned. I've been to a church maybe 3 times in my life.

It helps that I'm not Christian, haha.

I don't know, if conducted properly, it sounds like it could be a positive experience, but I see clearly that in most cases, it wasn't. I find that unfortunate, since I find that there is a lot that is positive that can be gleaned from religion.

Also, Jerk, the bris has a legit reason behind it besides religious reasons - in ancient times it was a lot healthier to not have a foreskin, and to be honest, it still has quite a few health benefits.

[/derail]

Sparkfur, on 10 January 2012 - 08:34 PM, said:

Like in some cases, the ability to actually urinate.

Of course, that issue usually only comes up later in life.

Also, your penis doesn't look like Earthworm Jim wearing a turtleneck.

My parents also sent me to catholic school because they thought it was safer. Protip: it isn't any different. I would have rather had a taste of the real world. All the guilt in Catholicism really screwed up my way of thinking. I chose to go to public high school, of course.

Religion is the opiate of the weak. A method of coping with existence, a technique for controlling others, and an excuse for terrible people to believe they are in the right. I have met more deluded assholes in Christianity than any other group of people.

oh man i sure do remember going to communion at the age of 11 and I went in the confessional and told the priest that i was not a virgin, because I knew I was damned

fun times

Religion, thank you for your eternal knee-jerk guilt-tripping. Sure makes life wonderful.

I don't remember regular guilt, much less Christian guilt.

I went to a Catholic school and everyone's a Catholic here. Seeing the experiences of the forum people, I can say I was very lucky. The teachers and nuns when I was little told everyone that God would forgive them no matter what, but that they should be good people and try not to make mistakes. But they also told us that mistakes were human, and we shouldn't worry too much about them, since Jeebus died for us so no one would have to go to hell. And of course, they told us that if something wasn't our fault, no matter how horrible, we couldn't be doomed for that, that would be silly. Now that I think of it, mostly everyone has tried to act like a "real" and nice, understanding Catholic here.

I can actually see why almost everyone I know IRL feels good being a Catholic after a childhood like that. I mean, it's stupid, I'm not religious at all, but I guess they pulled it off pretty well and people feel safe with their religion.

This post has been edited by Itu: 11 January 2012 - 04:04 PM

Quote

Did they believe that homosexuality was a sin?

This post has been edited by Starwatcher: 11 January 2012 - 05:06 PM

Confession was always very boring to me. not that I don't enjoy lying to a holy man, don't get me wrong, but I just found it to be really dumb that I had to confess everything to the priest before it could go to god, so I just prayed before bedtime instead.

sometimes I wonder if the first priest to institute confession was just a huge fucking gossip.

but yeah, I never did the whole first communion thing myself. we converted to episcopalianism really soon after we moved, which is about as good as a christian religion gets. gays and women have totally equal rights, and it's against the doctrine for anyone to push the belief on anyone. it's also the most laid-back christian church I know of, because they are cool with pretty much anyone. but in that church, you can receive communion at any age, even if you are not a member of the faith. so they never made a huge deal over first communion.

now that I've gotten past religion, I have a quiet laugh at most ceremonies and religious things in general.
also yes, circumcision is a major health benefit, and does not have to be done for religious reasons.

TL;DR: episcopals are the most laid back christians, and yuck sandworms.

Starwatcher, on 11 January 2012 - 05:06 PM, said:

I don't know, actually? On elementary school they would have told us that it wasn't their fault, probably, but on high school they would have told us that they were confused and it was wrong. They would be nice about it and be nice to homosexuals, but they're stupid and intolerance is rooted pretty strongly in them, even if they otherwise try to be good people.

I guess they thought it was wrong, but not really a sin and they'd deem those people as "confused".

EDIT: Of course that's just a general, I'd say "official" position. I've had a couple of much smarter, better people as teachers, and every one of them has their own personal ideas about the subject.

This post has been edited by Itu: 11 January 2012 - 07:03 PM

First communion wasn't so bad. I remember putting up with the ceremony only because I got to wear a suit. Vain much?