After a long night at the aquarium, I have come to the conclusion that dolphins are very selfish lovers. They dominate you throughout the entire session of intercourse, then leave during the middle of the night and never call you back. Honestly, what kind of jerk does that? If I were to get back into the swing of things, I'd much rather be with a raccoon or an octopus. I hear they're very generous lovers. Anyone know of any good raccoon or octopus hangouts where I can find myself a new lover?
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My conclusion on sex with dolphins
- #1
- 08 August 2012 - 05:20 PM
- crystalgardian
- Member
No, but you did a wonderful job of scarring me for life... 
- #2
- 08 August 2012 - 05:24 PM
crystalgardian, on 08 August 2012 - 05:24 PM, said:
No, but you did a wonderful job of scarring me for life...
This shouldn't scare anyone. It should inform people not to hook up with random dolphins you find at the aquarium bar, even though they say they'll call you back and that one day you'll meet their parents and be happy together.. It's all lies!
- #3
- 08 August 2012 - 05:29 PM
- Leaving_a_Comment
- Member
I've heard that the speed of the ejaculation of a dolphin can actually kill a man, how did that go for ya buddy?
- #5
- 08 August 2012 - 06:33 PM
- MintyFishbowl
- Member
You can go with a cat in case you're into masochism.
- #6
- 08 August 2012 - 06:38 PM
Leaving_a_Comment, on 08 August 2012 - 06:33 PM, said:
I've heard that the speed of the ejaculation of a dolphin can actually kill a man, how did that go for ya buddy?
I made him pull out, duh.
MintyFishbowl, on 08 August 2012 - 06:38 PM, said:
You can go with a cat in case you're into masochism.
I don't like the whole barbed penis aspect of cats.
- #7
- 08 August 2012 - 06:39 PM
- crystalgardian
- Member
... Theres always mans best friend.... I heard Dobermans will actually willingly go at it with a person. 
... why am I talking about this?
... why am I talking about this?
- #8
- 08 August 2012 - 06:46 PM
crystalgardian, on 08 August 2012 - 06:46 PM, said:
... Theres always mans best friend.... I heard Dobermans will actually willingly go at it with a person.
... why am I talking about this?
... why am I talking about this?
Hmmm.. There's a doberman that lives the across the street from me... Maybe I'll visit him sometime.
- #9
- 08 August 2012 - 06:47 PM
- Jerk
- Member
crystalgardian, on 08 August 2012 - 06:46 PM, said:
... why am I talking about this?
Because you are interested in bestiality.
MintyFishbowl, on 08 August 2012 - 06:38 PM, said:
You can go with a cat in case you're into masochism.
Have your boyfriend attach toothbrush bristles to his dick and bite your neck the next time you go at it. It's supposedly kind of like that. The bristles are to scrub out the remaining man juice you've taken during the course of your day; the biting is so that he doesn't pull out.
- #10
- 08 August 2012 - 07:46 PM
- SpaceMouse
- BCI Member
- his custom license plate literally reads "M0US3Y"
aren't more people raped by dolphins every year than attacked by sharks
- #11
- 08 August 2012 - 07:48 PM
SpaceMouse, on 08 August 2012 - 07:48 PM, said:
aren't more people raped by dolphins every year than attacked by sharks
- #12
- 08 August 2012 - 08:32 PM
- memyselfandi
- Member
Sad thing is that dolphins do rape and gang bang other dolphins. Bottle nose dolphins are also racist and go kill other, smaller dolphins. They also rape them for fun after they are dead.
Smart like human, act like humanity.
Smart like human, act like humanity.
- #13
- 09 August 2012 - 07:11 AM
- CaptainBaconMan
- Member
memyselfandi, on 09 August 2012 - 07:11 AM, said:
Bottle nose dolphins are also racist and go kill other, smaller dolphins.
Porpoises are not smaller dolphins.
- #14
- 09 August 2012 - 07:43 AM
- falconboy99
- BCI Member
CaptainBaconMan, on 09 August 2012 - 07:43 AM, said:
memyselfandi, on 09 August 2012 - 07:11 AM, said:
Bottle nose dolphins are also racist and go kill other, smaller dolphins.
Porpoises are not smaller dolphins.
Copy that, Mr. Ventura.
- #16
- 09 August 2012 - 04:38 PM
- Leaving_a_Comment
- Member
Point is: Dolphins are dicks, there is a reason there is a shark week and not a dolphin week, they are obviously superior underwater animals.
- #17
- 09 August 2012 - 05:15 PM
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