Bittersweet Candy Bowl Forums

Hello there fellow BCB fans, here is a little short story (horrifically short) i wrote.
Please feel free to rant, comment and especially criticize

-----Roughly three years after graduation day------

On that day, the heavens let her tears fall. All of Micheal and Sandy's friends stood by, wishing them well, one last time, before their train left.
Mike came to despise Lucy after all these years. After many of Lucy's desperate attempts to gain mike's love back, he grew to hate Lucy more than anything.
The poor Khao Manee stood far away from Mike and his friends, not wanting to be seen, not wanting to destroy their little moment.
As the train left, with Sandy and Micheal waving goodbye to everybody from their window, Lucy fell on her knees, sobbing heavily.

As she waited for her taxi to get back home, she thought of all the mistakes with mike she had made, every stupid mistake she wished she could have gone back and fixed.
She thought of the Alley, Acapulco, and all the other times Micheal had saved her. Suddenly, she felt two hands on her shoulders, two familiar hands.
"What do you want Paulo?"
"Hey Luce, you want me to ride home with you?"
"Sure, thanks"

Its pretty good, but you should make it longer. I'd enjoy reading another one of your stories