Bittersweet Candy Bowl Forums

discuss Pope Benedict's announced resignation from the position of pope.

only one pedophilia joke allowed.

How is he going to get another job if his only qualification is "Ex-Pontificate"?

he's leaving for "health reasons" ye bastard, p sure he ain't gonna be applying to be a walmart greeter anytime soon

I heard about it on the radio this morning that Darth Sidious Pope Benedict resigned. I laughed a little, but then I continued about my day and forgot about it. Will anyone even remember him after they get a new one?

Generally he'll be remembered for a while, but maybe after 3, not as much. If he had succeeded in everything he tried to do he would have been highly successful, more so than he already was, but then again, there aren't a lot of leaders that accomplish everything. Aside from health reasons, he's probably resigning so people can't take advantage of his weakening mental state to undo his progress.
That's just my 2cents anyways. (Not really sure how hard this community centralizes around issues like these, so if I just made a serious post in a thread meant for jokes, whooopsiiiies)

Does he ever make a face that isn't a rape face?

I dident think the pope could resiene.

Well if what I heard on the radio this morning is correct this is the first papal resignation since the 1400s

who cares

Miw, I believe I can confirm that, I heard something similar.
I'm surprised he actually resigned, didn't think he was smart enough to do so.

To be fair, this is not the middle ages, and the position of pope simply fails to possess the degree of significance that it did in times prior. While this resignation might ride the metaphorical tides of the media, there is a high probability that everything which occurs after this in regards to who becomes his successor or what that person plans to do will not be recognized as legitimate news by anyone except poignantly pro-Catholic news networks. We will not hear about what the current pope did, arguably because none of it was exceptionally different or deviating from the way in which the Catholic church has always operated. We will not care to hear about the history of the line of popes that all look eerily similar and have similar names, primarily because anyone who is not devoutly Catholic is not interested in what superficially appears to be a blatantly redundant and repetitive historical cycle. We will certainly not bother to scrutinize the next pope, as the aforementioned masses will not care, and the aforementioned devout Catholics will accept him unquestionably. This event will not enter the standard history textbooks - except potentially as a footnote under an asterisk, we will not remember it within a week's time, and nothing will be drastically altered as a result. Alternately, in simplest words,

SuitCase, on 12 February 2013 - 04:33 AM, said:

Give me a call when they appoint a pope that is not a caucasian male in his later years, or one that legitimately alters the religion; that would be something worth incurring a digression over. For the time being, though, there are many more important matters which could be discussed - the least of which not being, for example, the way in which modern media sensationalizes events which truthfully bear little to no relevance to the general population to the extent that they garner conversation in practically every forum on the internet.

/overtpessimismandapathy

This post has been edited by apocryphalValidity: 12 February 2013 - 07:45 AM

apocryphalValidity, on 12 February 2013 - 07:44 AM, said:

Pope John Paul the first (who came before the second) made big changes to catholic religion and started to bring it out of their middle age mentality. John Paul II, continued his work, making lots of changes during his first years. This earned his an attempt on his life (later blamed on a Muslim scapegoat), after which he took things more slowly. Look them up on Wikipedia. Benedict on the other hand was more conservative than his two predecessors. I haven't followed him that closely, tbh. But one of his big moves was appointing several new (German) cardinals.

apocryphalValidity, on 12 February 2013 - 07:44 AM, said:

It tends to matter little to people of Anglo-Saxon origin because most of them are Anglican or Protestant (with exception to the Irish & descendants). But it's worth reminding you that Catholicism is still the largest Christian sect as well as the largest, richest and most influential organised religion in the world. These events bear great direct relevance to 1.2 billion people, including 49% of westerners, and indirectly affect the life of the rest of the world, too.

This post has been edited by Migrant: 12 February 2013 - 08:30 AM

I just wanted to commend Kaxbe on his fantastic topic name.

otherwise SNOORRREEEEE

If you stay pope until you die you ain't gonna get a pension

Any good news thread demands a human sacrifice. If people aren't being gunned down for my amusement, I'm not interested.

Taeshi, on 12 February 2013 - 09:07 AM, said:

to be honest, Taeshi, the topic name was really the main reason i made the topic. other than that, the only thing interesting about it is that this is the first time a pope resigned since, like, 1400's or something.

When the austerity measures kick in, the next pope will be wearing a Burger King crown.

I just really want a Pope Hilarius, please next pope, make my dreams come true and become Pope Hilarius I.

One interesting theory is that the pope resigned after learning of a major scandal heading down the pipes, as he quit shortly after learning of "the discovery of a network of gay prelates in the Vatican, some of whom – the report said – were being blackmailed by outsiders." it's makes sense as well, he probably didn't want this to tarnish his record even more after the pedophilia scandal and left the thing for the next poor bastard.

Also, one of the top candidates for papal succession, Turkson, is fucking terrifying on his anti gay stance Read up

Quote

so the Roman Catholic Church is one step closer to Westboro now?

Judging from recent history, the top candidates for Papal succession are rarely the ones who get chosen. Then again, Benedict was the exception to this trend.

Theology is retarded, so being declared Pope is basically the coronation of King Retard. This is an important event for retards of all shades of white.

When I saw the thread title, I thought there was going to be an Eggs Benedict joke.

I was disappointed.

you're a special kind of dense motherfucker

This post has been edited by Kaxbe: 04 March 2013 - 05:13 AM

No, I got that you were trying to make the joke in the title... it just didn't work. Hense why I thought you might have actually made it in the thread itself.

again

The Vatican put together a little digital album for Pope Benedict and it's almost entirely in comic sans

Kaxbe, on 06 March 2013 - 04:16 PM, said:

I will never understand such blatantly half-baked attempts at appealing to the digital age; you either make something online with a legitimate amount of effort, or make something print-worthy that is not in that atrocious comic sans. A few less pictures of Benedict in Palpatine's lightning hands pose might have made it marginally less terrible, but still, why anyone would fathom that comic sans font was a good idea for this is entirely beyond me.

Clearly, the next pope - or at least someone in the Vatican committee - needs to have attended a high-school-equivalent IT class at the bare minimum before attempting to do anything with the Internet in any way whatsoever.

Page 26 said:

Christians can never be sad because someone they know died... uh, I don't get it.

This post has been edited by Migrant: 07 March 2013 - 11:11 AM