Bittersweet Candy Bowl Forums

looking throught the topic, your art has improved heaps, as has your writing. I really liked the piece you showed me and i'd be happy to proofread any other chapters as you write them.

This is yet another excellent art thread that I haven't seen before. There seems to be a lot of those. Anyways, I like the art, though. One slight correction though: on the piece with the band, the body of the guitar should be bigger and should be lower on the person's body. Also, the neck seems a bit narrow. Other than that, though, your art is excellent.

Thanks to both of you! I enjoy constructive input, which is something I don't get much of anymore.

Johnny, the Kurissen piece is a work in progress. I'll be sure to fix the guitarist next time I'm working on it.

Chapter 1 - The Revelation said:

Just a grammar mistake for you to correct there. 6th paragraph.
these are the remains of extensive editing, unfortunately!

Chapter 1 - The Revelation said:

Chapter 1 - The Revelation said:

Chapter 1 - The Revelation said:

Chapter 1 - The Revelation said:

Chapter 1 - The Revelation said:

i'm gonna stop here, but there's a lot of little mistakes. it's worth checking as they are quite distracting from and otherwise very entertaining story.

This post has been edited by Migrant: 26 February 2012 - 11:11 PM

Thanks! Yeah, I know The Revelation is full of typos, I have been planning on correcting them for some time now. The fact that you're calling it "very entertaining" though makes me feel like I've at least done something right, and I appreciate you giving me a heads up on at least the first few errors.

I finished reading it not long ago. I really like it actually. This is book material. Chapters ten onwards need a bit of work done on them to keep them on the right feel and style. If you want me to, I can make a list of typos for you for the ones that are mostly finished though. I really like where the story is going and I'd buy the book if it gets published (is that your aim here at all?).

(also, i keep reading your name as "Carchajoles" for some reason. Reminds me of carajoles / caracoles, i guess.)

Sure, I'd love a list of typos!

Actually, believe it or not, I'm wanting The Revelation to be web only. At least, for right now. I'm just very finicky about quality.

Ugh, can't focus to write. I instead chose to rewrite a poem I wrote years ago (for an ARG promoting the book The Revelation is based on). Well, it's rather horrific, but it's not what you think. This was originally meant for said book's sequel, which was put on the back burner a long time ago. It makes sense in context, but only if you look at it metaphorically. If you're wanting an answer, just look at the next few chapters of The Revelation. With a good grasp at symbolism, you'll pick it out quickly.

All right, everybody, I have a redrawn Kelpie for you all to see.



A kelpie, or Water Horse, are carnivorous horselike monsters that dwell in deep lakes and rivers. When seen on shore, they appear to be gorgeous horses and will offer a ride to whomever sees it. Upon touching the skin, it excretes a powerful adhesive, and drags the victim down into a water grave. Oh, and did I mention it's carnivorous? Well, it eats every single part of your body except the heart and liver.

I'm ditching the last kelpie. It looked wrong. Here's a newer, better version.

Horrifying. Thought you should know

This post has been edited by Tabris: 01 March 2012 - 03:52 PM

Render and Ravage, Fiona's customized trench knives. They will play a role in The Revelation, but it will be relatively small.

Been re-shading the latest Roderigo Somers pic. Here's the first round:

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 03 March 2012 - 01:11 AM

So yeah, I REALLY didn't like how my first draft of Render and Ravage turned out. Too spikey and symmetrical. I really wanted them to have a rougher feel. So instead of using nothing but the paths tool, I pulled out the drawing pad I got for Christmas and sketched them out. Then I used the paths tool to ink them, and finally edit them.

These are meant to invoke something hand made. At the same time, they are designed to be visually similar to the Mark I trench knife. You can see that Render (the one on the left) is broader and somewhat more curved; it's meant to slash as well as thrust. Ravage on the other hand is slightly longer and thinner; it's a pure thrust weapon, but it also functions as a parrying tool. Of course, the guards are both spiked, giving punches are little more oomph, and the pommels are spiked as well--useful for breaking windows and knocking back an enemy.

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 03 March 2012 - 11:24 PM

Ditched my previous reshades and started over from scratch. A lot of the techniques I picked up were applied here. There's one more round of shading, which will add some light, and then I'll add the finishing touches.

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 09 March 2012 - 01:04 AM

Wow, I really like how you colored his hair! The weapons look pretty cool too. I'm a tiny bit scared of how his arm is bending though. Other than that, your art has improved a ton!




...Kelpieeee

This post has been edited by Tiggy: 08 March 2012 - 05:34 AM

That kelpie does look pretty awesome, yo. c:

Heh, it's funny that the first one I posted was actually a redrawing, and the version everyone likes is the original. I guess I should leave well enough alone, eh?

By the way, Chapter XV of The Revelation is out, for those of you who are interested.

Render and Ravage, colored.

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 09 March 2012 - 04:51 PM

Well, I went back and looked at Fiona and thought "bleh. How can I make this better?" The answer was as simple as redrawing the edges of the torso, reshading the image, and adding a few highlights. Suddenly, she seems a lot less like a dead cat person and a lot more like a human-cat hybrid.

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 18 March 2012 - 06:39 PM

New weird creature!
Well, kinda new. The pencil drawing is completely new, anyway, but this is just the latest update to a very old Deathscape harrow.




Meet Lycopardus pardalis, or "Lyco." These wolf-like creatures run in large packs. There are two different groups of Lyco--the "servant" variant and the "vagrant" variant. The servant variant is tasked with locating living beings who have come in direct contact with a life vein, at which point they kill and eat the infected entity and send the soul to Arkae'is. Thankfully, life veins are not only rare but extremely difficult to come in contact with.

The vagrant is far more sinister: running in an extremely large, unruly pack, they attack vulnerable creatures--often, women and children--and eat them alive. They are ruled over by a very large almost hairless Lyco with humanoid features, and the bring the juiciest parts of their kills to feed their "alpha." It is never seen outside the den, which makes telling the relatively harmless "servant" Lyco from the extremely dangerous "vagabond" Lyco impossible until it is too late.

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 16 March 2012 - 11:56 AM

Chapter XVI of The Revelation is out, for those of you who are actually reading it.

Edit: Just so you know, all drawing projects have been suspended while I completely retool Devon Carter's drawing. This won't be a from scratch thing like Fiona was, but more of a massive edit like Roderigo's pic. Pretty much all I have left to do is the clothes, so stay tuned!

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 18 March 2012 - 06:41 PM

Devon Carter redesigned. Shading's off, it will be corrected, probably by tomorrow night. Shading's fixed, but I need to do wrinkles, maybe later.

Devon is Fiona's father. He's a prominent businessman, an heir to a Fortune 500 company, and an accomplished and respected marine biologist.

This post has been edited by Carcharocles: 19 March 2012 - 07:13 PM

There will be no more original art or fiction posted here. If you're a follower of my art or stories, please visit my Deviant Art Page instead. Any fiction posted directly to the site that is not BCB related will be removed.

On the off chance that I post fan fiction or fan art, I'll post it here. I simply feel there isn't enough traffic on this thread to justify it anymore.