Ace's works
Nothing good can come from David paying a guy to stalk Augustus (I bet he hired Daniel). Even less good can come from Paulo telling David what happened. Oh boy, this looks like a major setup for something big coming up! Can't wait!
- #101
- 26 July 2011 - 10:35 PM
- Ace
- BCI Member
*Nudges forwards a parcel. You open it to find a wondrous gift.*
Tides Chapter 14- The Storm
Yaaaaay I did it. I mean I hope it works alright but I did it!
Sorry to disappoint Nin..seg...guy... but why would he ever hire Daniel, that's silly. And Bord Lord, the story isn't the important part although you wouldn't know from what I wrote here. I do enjoy David however. And weather themed puns. Anyway, here we go, I'd say I'd hope to get another chapter out soon, but we all know I'm a god damned liar. Enjoy!
Tides Chapter 14- The Storm
Yaaaaay I did it. I mean I hope it works alright but I did it!
Sorry to disappoint Nin..seg...guy... but why would he ever hire Daniel, that's silly. And Bord Lord, the story isn't the important part although you wouldn't know from what I wrote here. I do enjoy David however. And weather themed puns. Anyway, here we go, I'd say I'd hope to get another chapter out soon, but we all know I'm a god damned liar. Enjoy!
- #103
- 30 July 2011 - 02:32 AM
Ace, on 30 July 2011 - 02:32 AM, said:
Lol, is my name that long? Do the ellipses save that much time?
This post has been edited by NintendoSegaSonyGuy: 30 July 2011 - 02:52 AM
- #104
- 30 July 2011 - 02:52 AM
- Taeshi
- one hot bitch
Administrator 
UGHGHGHGHGHGH MISUNDERSTANDING PLOTS
HOW I HATE THEE
(nothing wrong with you doing it, but it's a plot that causes me so much anxiety and frustration BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE IN THE STORY DHFKDHRFGK)
you're making it harder not to put jasmine on a bus HAHAHAH
HOW I HATE THEE
(nothing wrong with you doing it, but it's a plot that causes me so much anxiety and frustration BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE IN THE STORY DHFKDHRFGK)
you're making it harder not to put jasmine on a bus HAHAHAH
- #107
- 30 July 2011 - 06:54 AM
- SushiJaguar
- Internet Tough Guy<br>P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member 
I don't get it
Why is Paulo being a pansy
Daniel didn't even bark or anything.
Why is Paulo being a pansy
Daniel didn't even bark or anything.
- #108
- 30 July 2011 - 11:29 AM
- Ace
- BCI Member
Well apparently the intention of making a character that everyone comes to hate was successful! I'm a writer durp. A writer who apparently commits sins of romance writing....
But uhm. Yes... I'm sad no one picked up on the chapter titles this time but maybe it was too much to ask.
Also, sushi! I didn't know you still read this! I feel so loved.
But uhm. Yes... I'm sad no one picked up on the chapter titles this time but maybe it was too much to ask.
Also, sushi! I didn't know you still read this! I feel so loved.
- #110
- 30 July 2011 - 06:09 PM
- Borg Lord
- Talk shit about furries and see how mad I get!
Member 
Taeshi, on 30 July 2011 - 06:54 AM, said:
UGHGHGHGHGHGH MISUNDERSTANDING PLOTS
HOW I HATE THEE
(nothing wrong with you doing it, but it's a plot that causes me so much anxiety and frustration BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE IN THE STORY DHFKDHRFGK)
you're making it harder not to put jasmine on a bus HAHAHAH
HOW I HATE THEE
(nothing wrong with you doing it, but it's a plot that causes me so much anxiety and frustration BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE IN THE STORY DHFKDHRFGK)
you're making it harder not to put jasmine on a bus HAHAHAH
Is this really a misunderstanding plot, though? Is a plot based on a deliberate deception not different from everybody making too many mistaken assumptions?
Although I would have expected Paulo to try to defend himself, but perhaps he simply realized that Jazz would trust Daniel's word more than his and didn't want to make Jazz even angrier by making her think he was slandering her boyfriend as well as threatening him.
- #111
- 30 July 2011 - 06:33 PM
Of course Jasmine and Daniel were at the same restaurant. God, Paulo just can't seem to catch a break. Not in this story and not in the most recent chapter of the canon comic. Poor guy...
I want to murder Daniel right now. I sure as hell hope he gets his just desserts when this is all over...You should be proud, Ace, for writing a character that's so despicably evil and yet so cocky and awesome at the same time. Too bad Paulo didn't knock him the fuck out, but it makes sense that he wouldn't. Jasmine was there, after all.
I'm surprised David acted "stern" after what occurred between Paulo and Daniel. My first thought is that he shouldn't know what happened, since Paulo made a whole great big story to cover up with his potential problem with Augustus in the first place. Not to mention, if David was hauled up in the bathroom after having a burger known as the "Gut Dominator", then he wouldn't have been expecting Paulo at the table. Usually bathroom complications take a lot of time...Just sayin'.... Anyway, you can tell that David was pissed off after that whole episode. It was weird to think of David as "angry", or "distressed", or whatever else other than obliviously jovial. I hope the next chapter starts right up with them outside of the restaurant, and David interrogating Paulo over what actually happened. Don't just never mention it again; it's important, after all. David has a right to know.
Me thinks Lucy will help Paulo forget about his problems... =)
I want to murder Daniel right now. I sure as hell hope he gets his just desserts when this is all over...You should be proud, Ace, for writing a character that's so despicably evil and yet so cocky and awesome at the same time. Too bad Paulo didn't knock him the fuck out, but it makes sense that he wouldn't. Jasmine was there, after all.
I'm surprised David acted "stern" after what occurred between Paulo and Daniel. My first thought is that he shouldn't know what happened, since Paulo made a whole great big story to cover up with his potential problem with Augustus in the first place. Not to mention, if David was hauled up in the bathroom after having a burger known as the "Gut Dominator", then he wouldn't have been expecting Paulo at the table. Usually bathroom complications take a lot of time...Just sayin'.... Anyway, you can tell that David was pissed off after that whole episode. It was weird to think of David as "angry", or "distressed", or whatever else other than obliviously jovial. I hope the next chapter starts right up with them outside of the restaurant, and David interrogating Paulo over what actually happened. Don't just never mention it again; it's important, after all. David has a right to know.
Me thinks Lucy will help Paulo forget about his problems... =)
This post has been edited by NintendoSegaSonyGuy: 30 July 2011 - 10:43 PM
- #112
- 30 July 2011 - 10:42 PM
- Taeshi
- one hot bitch
Administrator
Bord Lord: It's a misunderstanding plot because Jasmine is under the impression that Paulo was being the jerk and Daniel is the nice one, leaving her to react in an ignorant fashion, but the viewer is aware that Daniel is actually in the wrong, but no matter how much you know that the characters in the story have less knowledge so they've misunderstood the events.
I find that really stressful to the point where I have avoided shows that used the trope (I don't really know what the trope name would be, honestly), like I stopped watching Glee because there were two misunderstanding plots happening at the same time (A woman pretending to be pregnant when she wasn't, and another girl pretending the baby belonged to her boyfriend but really belonged to another guy)
I don't think badly of the person that uses it, but it makes it really hard to enjoy because I get really indebted in characters that I get really frustrated and mad ;.;
I find that really stressful to the point where I have avoided shows that used the trope (I don't really know what the trope name would be, honestly), like I stopped watching Glee because there were two misunderstanding plots happening at the same time (A woman pretending to be pregnant when she wasn't, and another girl pretending the baby belonged to her boyfriend but really belonged to another guy)
I don't think badly of the person that uses it, but it makes it really hard to enjoy because I get really indebted in characters that I get really frustrated and mad ;.;
- #114
- 31 July 2011 - 09:59 AM
- Ace
- BCI Member
Kay so, I wrote chapter 16 on Saturday but I decided I wanted chapter 15 beforehand, which means 16 would have been 15 but then this happened and Drunkhammer and uhm.
Tides Chapter 15- In the Wake
Tides Chapter 16- A new Heading
New chapters yaaaaay!
But seriously. I grossily overestimated something so uhm. Chapter 17 will be the last chapter. Hope y'all will be excited!
Tides Chapter 15- In the Wake
Tides Chapter 16- A new Heading
New chapters yaaaaay!
But seriously. I grossily overestimated something so uhm. Chapter 17 will be the last chapter. Hope y'all will be excited!
- #115
- 06 August 2011 - 07:50 AM
And this is where I call bullshit. Come on, what the fuck is Paulo doing? Go after Lucy, you freaking moron! I get the message, or whatever: don't leave the one you truly love. But come on, man! Paulo said it himself, that he doesn't think things could go back entirely to normal between him and Jasmine. What that translates to me is that he doesn't seem to think that he could be her boyfriend again. So okay; it'd be fine if he would just go to help her, whilst going after Lucy. But from the looks of it, that doesn't seem to be happening; he's going to throw all his cards on the table and go after Jasmine.
Seriously, that's pretty sad. Lucy got the entire short end of the stick in this story. Paulo never even gave her a chance.
Ch.17 will be the last chapter... Aw...that sucks. This was a really good story. Probably the one BCB fanfic that stuck the closest to its source material that I've ever seen. I'm really sad to see it end. It better be one hell of an ending, Ace!
Seriously, that's pretty sad. Lucy got the entire short end of the stick in this story. Paulo never even gave her a chance.
Ch.17 will be the last chapter... Aw...that sucks. This was a really good story. Probably the one BCB fanfic that stuck the closest to its source material that I've ever seen. I'm really sad to see it end. It better be one hell of an ending, Ace!
- #117
- 06 August 2011 - 02:28 PM
- Taeshi
- one hot bitch
Administrator
Really liked Chapter 15, especially showing Daniel getting all frustrated and impatient, and trying to keep his cool at the same time. I like that you let the cracks of his real personality show through, it would be very silly to have him be completely 50/50 with his personalities :-[ THEY GOTTA LOSE PATIENCE EVENTUALLY.
I was seriously nervous when I saw the phone call bit at the end, because I assumed you were going to incorporate alejandro or some shit (you know, sneaky blabbering to some other phantom evil, i've seen that done in so many fanfics).. but I really should remember that you're not a terrible fanfic writer, and you would never do something so stupid like that. I APOLOGISE FOR SPLIT-SECOND DOUBTING YOU.
I thought the bit with Lucy getting all "bawww he doesn't love me" felt a bit forced and out of character, though. They might have a thing for each other, and I did really find the scene where she was amused at how they keep getting near each other, but continually pursuing their love interests really sweet.. but the end bit seemed kind of.. yeah, she's not THAT weird and bouncy between Paulo/Mike. Mike will always be that incredible object of her affections, she might feel a bit jealous about Paulo, but Mike is the true reason to her misery.
MY ONLY PROBLEM. THE PAULOXLUCY FELT A BIT FORCED. which is funny because you know me
i ship it
like a ship
I was seriously nervous when I saw the phone call bit at the end, because I assumed you were going to incorporate alejandro or some shit (you know, sneaky blabbering to some other phantom evil, i've seen that done in so many fanfics).. but I really should remember that you're not a terrible fanfic writer, and you would never do something so stupid like that. I APOLOGISE FOR SPLIT-SECOND DOUBTING YOU.
I thought the bit with Lucy getting all "bawww he doesn't love me" felt a bit forced and out of character, though. They might have a thing for each other, and I did really find the scene where she was amused at how they keep getting near each other, but continually pursuing their love interests really sweet.. but the end bit seemed kind of.. yeah, she's not THAT weird and bouncy between Paulo/Mike. Mike will always be that incredible object of her affections, she might feel a bit jealous about Paulo, but Mike is the true reason to her misery.
MY ONLY PROBLEM. THE PAULOXLUCY FELT A BIT FORCED. which is funny because you know me
i ship it
like a ship
- #118
- 06 August 2011 - 03:06 PM
- RedJack
- BCI Member
Paulo just wants closure NinSegaSony whatever the fuck you wnna say your name as. He has that sort of tendency to not leave things unsettled. At least thats how I see it anyways. And regarding to the anti-LucyxPaulo occurance, I guess Ace just wanted to focus more on Jasmine and Paulo and this Daniel person rather than have too much spotlight on Lucy. Again thats how I see it. I might as well be completely wrong.
- #119
- 06 August 2011 - 03:34 PM
RedJack, on 06 August 2011 - 03:34 PM, said:
Paulo just wants closure NinSegaSony whatever the fuck you wnna say your name as. He has that sort of tendency to not leave things unsettled. At least thats how I see it anyways. And regarding to the anti-LucyxPaulo occurance, I guess Ace just wanted to focus more on Jasmine and Paulo and this Daniel person rather than have too much spotlight on Lucy. Again thats how I see it. I might as well be completely wrong.
My name is NOT that long! And it's easy to spell! Everyone knows about "Nintendo", "Sega", and "Sony". They're pretty famous companies! I just find it hilarious that both you and Ace awkwardly shorten it the way you guys do.
You say that Paulo has a tendency to resolve things...Fair enough. So are you saying that things were completely resolved between him and Lucy? I'd have to disagree.
I'm sure that's what Ace was going for, the whole focus being on Jasmine and Daniel, and I don't mind. We all know him as the biggest Jasmine fan on the site.
Still, it was just a little saddening, as all, that Lucy was left behind crying by Paulo. Look at it in a slightly different context and it almost seems like Paulo was breaking up with her, even though they were never together.
- #120
- 06 August 2011 - 04:39 PM
- SushiJaguar
- Internet Tough Guy<br>P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member
It's retarded and like a scene from Shakespeare, the ending to chap 16. Bit of a let down from the high-quality fic I've been reading so far.
- #121
- 06 August 2011 - 07:02 PM
- Borg Lord
- Talk shit about furries and see how mad I get!
Member
I think everybody gets confused because nobody wants to take the time to type out your full name, "Nintendo" apparently nobody wants to use as your name (perhaps to prevent any possibility of confusion with the company?), "Guy" is clearly too ambiguous to use as a name, and calling you "NSSG" would make you, as far as I know, the only person on the forum generally referred to by his initials. I'm going to call you "NSSG" anyway, but that's just me.
- #122
- 06 August 2011 - 07:05 PM
- Ace
- BCI Member
Ahaha, yeah okay I suppose I deserve this bashing for chapter 16. It needed to be there, but at the same time y'all are right, it was forced and I did play it overly dramatic. I was really nervous about it, especially that last line there, but maybe it's my latent Paulo x Lucy hate goin on anyway. Still, it's not like he's abandoned her, it's just that he has to bail out Jasmine first. Can't leave her down and out. I suppose it boils down to I didn't know how to approach this chapter is what it boils down to and I took the wrong approach it seems.
And for the chapter before it, that one I also worried about for that last portion, I ran it over my head over and over whether to keep it or not, but in the end I decided to because it makes the next chapter that much easier. And no, he's not in Alejandro's gang, he was just talking to some random douche friend of his from where he moved from. I mean he's only been in town like 3 weeks, how would he have joined that gang. That's just silly talk.
Also, Nintendo Sony Sega Guy. I will call you SuperNES from now on. And no, it's not like he's breaking up with her and I'm sorry it came across that way.
But yes, it's coming to an end, I hope chapter 17 will be a fitting end! When I write it. Soon.
(Maybe)
And for the chapter before it, that one I also worried about for that last portion, I ran it over my head over and over whether to keep it or not, but in the end I decided to because it makes the next chapter that much easier. And no, he's not in Alejandro's gang, he was just talking to some random douche friend of his from where he moved from. I mean he's only been in town like 3 weeks, how would he have joined that gang. That's just silly talk.
Also, Nintendo Sony Sega Guy. I will call you SuperNES from now on. And no, it's not like he's breaking up with her and I'm sorry it came across that way.
But yes, it's coming to an end, I hope chapter 17 will be a fitting end! When I write it. Soon.
(Maybe)
- #123
- 06 August 2011 - 10:47 PM
- Taeshi
- one hot bitch
Administrator
It's really weird because tbh if you hate PauloxLucy so much, why was that particular scene added? You made it seem like they had more feelings for each other than they should have, or at least made it so Lucy was really broken about it.
I think you could have made it so she was encouraging, but shaken more because she feels sympathy because she's dealing with the same thing (Mike), and after Paulo left maybe she would have thought to herself about how it's really not that easy with her own problem. That woulda been great, showing the parallel to the struggle.. only on Lucy's side, she can't win.. and you woulda left without having to write any of that terrible PauloxLucy you don't like so much! She didn't really need to ask if he'd rescue her.
Just a suggestion, if there's something you don't see fit, you could work around it without having to force yourself to add it. PauloxLucy doesn't have to be necessary when they're in the same room together, they could interact in a platonic way just as much as any other pair! They've been generally doing that for most of the comic.
BUT YES THANK YOU, btw i wrote 16 instead of 15 the last post, I apologise if that confused you!
I think you could have made it so she was encouraging, but shaken more because she feels sympathy because she's dealing with the same thing (Mike), and after Paulo left maybe she would have thought to herself about how it's really not that easy with her own problem. That woulda been great, showing the parallel to the struggle.. only on Lucy's side, she can't win.. and you woulda left without having to write any of that terrible PauloxLucy you don't like so much! She didn't really need to ask if he'd rescue her.
Just a suggestion, if there's something you don't see fit, you could work around it without having to force yourself to add it. PauloxLucy doesn't have to be necessary when they're in the same room together, they could interact in a platonic way just as much as any other pair! They've been generally doing that for most of the comic.
BUT YES THANK YOU, btw i wrote 16 instead of 15 the last post, I apologise if that confused you!
- #124
- 07 August 2011 - 02:12 AM
@Borg Lord
That's fine. Most people on Deviant Art called me "NSSG", or "NSSGuy" anyway. Ace, you can still call me SuperNES if you so prefer.
@Ace
You already kind of hinted at LucyxPaulo in a previous chapter. That seemed to kind of bite you in the ass here, as it would've been unrealistic if Lucy and Paulo were to act purely in a platonic way together in Ch.16. Lucy seemed to be more than letting on that she had feelings for Paulo. Because of that, I understand why it went kind of wonky. But like Taeshi said, why even include the scene? Closure wasn't even necessary by that point. But by reopening the wound, you inevitably have to close it back up again.
That's fine. Most people on Deviant Art called me "NSSG", or "NSSGuy" anyway. Ace, you can still call me SuperNES if you so prefer.
@Ace
You already kind of hinted at LucyxPaulo in a previous chapter. That seemed to kind of bite you in the ass here, as it would've been unrealistic if Lucy and Paulo were to act purely in a platonic way together in Ch.16. Lucy seemed to be more than letting on that she had feelings for Paulo. Because of that, I understand why it went kind of wonky. But like Taeshi said, why even include the scene? Closure wasn't even necessary by that point. But by reopening the wound, you inevitably have to close it back up again.
- #125
- 07 August 2011 - 06:20 AM
- Ace
- BCI Member
I'm sorry for posting here with nothing to show. I hope I didn't get your hopes up, that is just the worst, I'm sorry. Anyway it's been over two weeks and as you see, I have nothing to offer. One last chapter eh? Jesus...
Okay I'll be square, I've actually been busy which is shocking for me, but apparently after work, people want to be in my presence, and with studying I've been low on time I like to write. But to be fair during these times I've had the worst writer's block and I don't feel adequate about anything I've written so far.
SO, as a summary: I'm sorry that there won't be the last chapter for a little while, I'm just letting you know in case you are actually waiting for it. Or something.
Thanks for understanding.
Okay I'll be square, I've actually been busy which is shocking for me, but apparently after work, people want to be in my presence, and with studying I've been low on time I like to write. But to be fair during these times I've had the worst writer's block and I don't feel adequate about anything I've written so far.
SO, as a summary: I'm sorry that there won't be the last chapter for a little while, I'm just letting you know in case you are actually waiting for it. Or something.
Thanks for understanding.
- #126
- 22 August 2011 - 12:19 AM
- Taeshi
- one hot bitch
Administrator
That's fine! You are busy, there's nothing wrong with that!
Also haha yeah you got my hopes up FFFFFF i was like OH ACE POSTED but he didn't mention it in the IRC or anywhere so maybe it's just a notice of being busy-- yeah i was right
Also haha yeah you got my hopes up FFFFFF i was like OH ACE POSTED but he didn't mention it in the IRC or anywhere so maybe it's just a notice of being busy-- yeah i was right
- #127
- 22 August 2011 - 04:15 PM
I know what it's like to be busy and you can't write. It's cool, dude; we can wait for as long as you need. And writer's block sucks shit...
This post has been edited by NintendoSegaSonyGuy: 22 August 2011 - 10:36 PM
- #128
- 22 August 2011 - 10:36 PM
- Ace
- BCI Member
HEY SCRUBS.
Oh wait that's me. I'm the scrub. In scrubs. So comfy
Four Play (NSFW)
New Story! More info on the first page but I hope y'all enjoy. Doublet asked me to write this, and if y'all are patient for a few days you may get a surprise related to the story.
Oh wait that's me. I'm the scrub. In scrubs. So comfy
Four Play (NSFW)
New Story! More info on the first page but I hope y'all enjoy. Doublet asked me to write this, and if y'all are patient for a few days you may get a surprise related to the story.
This post has been edited by Ace: 19 June 2012 - 09:09 PM
- #129
- 19 June 2012 - 05:08 PM
- Ace
- BCI Member
SuitCase, on 19 June 2012 - 08:25 PM, said:
Put this stuff up on AFF and Fanfiction.net, you idiot!
Okay everything is fine on AFF anyway and this was uploaded to FF. I want to find the original files before I upload Cracked and MMAM to FF and they are hiding on my portable hard drive and I'll dig it out of storage later.
This post has been edited by Ace: 19 June 2012 - 09:28 PM
- #131
- 19 June 2012 - 08:37 PM
- SuitCase
- Administrator
You should, and make sure all your stuff is uploaded to both.
I finished reading the story. It's an interesting premise and it's reasonably engaging once you slog through the first part (where porny suspension-of-disbelief must remain in full effect for some time.) I think it's littered with cliches and feels messy and first-draft-like, though. There are some elements, like the epilogues, that are a nice idea implemented roughly.
I finished reading the story. It's an interesting premise and it's reasonably engaging once you slog through the first part (where porny suspension-of-disbelief must remain in full effect for some time.) I think it's littered with cliches and feels messy and first-draft-like, though. There are some elements, like the epilogues, that are a nice idea implemented roughly.
- #132
- 19 June 2012 - 08:49 PM
- Doubletails
- Member
With Four Play, Ace worked a really big favour for me. Ever since December 2011, I had been working on illustrations, drawing inspiration from a secretive/obscure BCB piece of work. The series of images started rolling from there. Before long, I found myself with a series of images that seemed to want to tell a story. Needless to say, Ace was top bro with the suggestion that he should write the story.
I worked with Ace over following months and it has been until now that we've convened to release the story, along with the illustrations. It has flaws, but we really hope you enjoy it nonetheless. It was a very fun ride, and I wonder when I will next engage in an adventure of epic proportions such as this.
Illustrated Four Play PDF (NSFW)
This link will give you access to the most recent version of the project. A whooping 65-page story which includes 21 illustrations done by yours truly. It is best viewed in Two-Page mode (like a book) on your Adobe reader.
EDIT: Oh what a hasty post. I also have SuitCase to thank for setting a very eye-pleasing layout for the .PDF. Without his assistance, the result would have been a far less aesthetic, less organized .pdf.
I worked with Ace over following months and it has been until now that we've convened to release the story, along with the illustrations. It has flaws, but we really hope you enjoy it nonetheless. It was a very fun ride, and I wonder when I will next engage in an adventure of epic proportions such as this.
Illustrated Four Play PDF (NSFW)
This link will give you access to the most recent version of the project. A whooping 65-page story which includes 21 illustrations done by yours truly. It is best viewed in Two-Page mode (like a book) on your Adobe reader.
EDIT: Oh what a hasty post. I also have SuitCase to thank for setting a very eye-pleasing layout for the .PDF. Without his assistance, the result would have been a far less aesthetic, less organized .pdf.
This post has been edited by Doubletails: 20 June 2012 - 11:12 PM
- #133
- 20 June 2012 - 10:45 PM
- DLancer
- Member
I find the story idea itself to have been a bit incredulous. But that doesn't stop it from being well written. All the characters save for
Sort of sad I called the ending of it. Ruined my surprise.
Oh well, live and read more fanfiction.
Doubletails did an amazing job to visualize the scenes. Which I am grateful for as some of it was a bit hard to imagine at first. (I didn't have the luxury of these images when I read it.)
There were a few minor errors as well but it didn't detract from the whole. Tipos happen, I know.
Spoiler
seemed to be quite in character. The only real gripe I have is with the pacing at the end, it just seemed to go on and on. But it sort of had to as well to complete the story. Sort of sad I called the ending of it. Ruined my surprise.
Oh well, live and read more fanfiction.Doubletails did an amazing job to visualize the scenes. Which I am grateful for as some of it was a bit hard to imagine at first. (I didn't have the luxury of these images when I read it.)
There were a few minor errors as well but it didn't detract from the whole. Tipos happen, I know.
- #134
- 21 June 2012 - 01:46 AM
- Catalyst
- Member
First, I like the small references to "Sweet Spot" and "Tides" – nice little Easter eggs for those readers who are familiar with your work. You're also pretty brave in imagining how the rest of BCB will play out (yeah, Daisy x Paulo!) and as I was reading the exposition, I had fun imagining the scenarios you lay out. The Jess x Lucy memory that wanders through Lucy's mind is a nice foreshadow as well.
But what I really wanted to talk about is the last line. Oh man, is that a loaded sentence.
I like that you do not explicitly state what happened and leave it as a nice surprise for sharp-eyed readers to discover.
But what I really wanted to talk about is the last line. Oh man, is that a loaded sentence.
Spoiler
I like that you do not explicitly state what happened and leave it as a nice surprise for sharp-eyed readers to discover.
- #135
- 21 June 2012 - 03:33 AM
I read it.
I knew from the beginning that SOME sort of foursome would take place. You warned from the beginning that "Four Play" was NSFW. But you're a good writer, Ace, so I expected more than just sex. It was a one-shot that was almost 20,000 words long, after all! Speaking of which, I personally think you should've divided it into chapters, but whatever. Here's my *mostly* positive review (SPOILERS FOR THE STORY INCLUDED, OBVIOUSLY):
For its flaws here and there, I still adored this story. One of your best.
I knew from the beginning that SOME sort of foursome would take place. You warned from the beginning that "Four Play" was NSFW. But you're a good writer, Ace, so I expected more than just sex. It was a one-shot that was almost 20,000 words long, after all! Speaking of which, I personally think you should've divided it into chapters, but whatever. Here's my *mostly* positive review (SPOILERS FOR THE STORY INCLUDED, OBVIOUSLY):
Spoiler
For its flaws here and there, I still adored this story. One of your best.
This post has been edited by NintendoSegaSonyGuy: 22 June 2012 - 04:47 AM
- #136
- 22 June 2012 - 02:08 AM
- Purin
- BCI Member
Even fathoming that such a girlfriend like Sandy could exist...this is why Asian women are so awesome. They have no problem with you having other concubines, as long as you assure her that she is the #1 concubine in your heart.
Interesting read and illustrations.
Interesting read and illustrations.
- #138
- 23 June 2012 - 05:05 AM
- Ace
- BCI Member
Ooookay, lets reply to some things shall we.
First off @Suitcase: I don't have anything to say really. I did only one complete read-through and changes, and I think Doublet went through and changed some things also. I am the worst editor. Especially of my own material. Some of the images existed before the story was written so alot of it was to connect the dots somehow. I'm still happy enough with how it turned out. Thanks for the suit-level half praise of the epilogues. Doublet liked them which was the important part!
And again, thanks for making it look so great.
@DLancer: Yep its incredulous. Three characters? Oh that could have been pulled off I think. Four Characters? Difficult! I had to mull things around and that's what I assumed I could get away with. Oh and since you spoilered, lets respond in kind.
@Ninsegtasaurusguy: Well.
For its flaws here and there, I still adored this story. One of your best.
@Purin: Thanks! Be sure to tell so to Doublet if you haven't already
First off @Suitcase: I don't have anything to say really. I did only one complete read-through and changes, and I think Doublet went through and changed some things also. I am the worst editor. Especially of my own material. Some of the images existed before the story was written so alot of it was to connect the dots somehow. I'm still happy enough with how it turned out. Thanks for the suit-level half praise of the epilogues. Doublet liked them which was the important part!
And again, thanks for making it look so great.
@DLancer: Yep its incredulous. Three characters? Oh that could have been pulled off I think. Four Characters? Difficult! I had to mull things around and that's what I assumed I could get away with. Oh and since you spoilered, lets respond in kind.
Spoiler
@Ninsegtasaurusguy: Well.
NintendoSegaSonyGuy, on 22 June 2012 - 02:08 AM, said:
Spoiler
For its flaws here and there, I still adored this story. One of your best.
@Purin: Thanks! Be sure to tell so to Doublet if you haven't already
- #139
- 26 June 2012 - 04:31 AM