AWWESSOMMMEEEEE JasminexAugustus
Ace's works
- Ace
- BCI Member
Geez, I seem to have forgotten about this thread huh. Sorry bout that y'all, if I'm not working then I'm doing homework which is ironic because it's summer and I should have more free time...
Anyways No new chapter at the moment, although I easily could upload a new chapter out of what's written so far I'd rather have this be one big, massive chapter (I'm guessing 3-4K words by the time I'm done). Hopefully I can get this finished tomorrow night after work but it may have to wait until Sunday to finish completely, I hope y'all can forgive me my trespass.
(Also, no he's not Augustus in disguise, and Augustus isn't actually Siamese, there's just something called continuity)
Anyways No new chapter at the moment, although I easily could upload a new chapter out of what's written so far I'd rather have this be one big, massive chapter (I'm guessing 3-4K words by the time I'm done). Hopefully I can get this finished tomorrow night after work but it may have to wait until Sunday to finish completely, I hope y'all can forgive me my trespass.
(Also, no he's not Augustus in disguise, and Augustus isn't actually Siamese, there's just something called continuity)
This post has been edited by Ace: 11 June 2011 - 06:03 AM
- #52
- 11 June 2011 - 06:02 AM
- Ace
- BCI Member
Guh. Good lord this chapter clocks in at 4,001 words, quite the feat if I do say so myself. Sorry anyone who has been waiting for two weeks between my updates, but here we are! Finally reached one of the turning points in the story and we see the culmination of something growing in the story from the very start. So, take a seat and have a read, it's a long one, but I hope y'all think it's a good one.
Tides Chapter 10: Voyage
Tides Chapter 10: Voyage
- #53
- 12 June 2011 - 05:43 AM
- SushiJaguar
- Internet Tough Guy<br>P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member 
RAWR LOOK I'M BEING ANGRY IN CREATIVE ARTS GRRRRR RAGEFACE.JPG
Happy now? God, you're so needy Ace.
Happy now? God, you're so needy Ace.
- #56
- 12 June 2011 - 05:45 PM
- SushiJaguar
- Internet Tough Guy<br>P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member
Ace, you know how much I despise out of character writing, even more so in fanfics. Tides is so far-fetched I couldn't make it past chapter six.
- #58
- 12 June 2011 - 06:09 PM
- SushiJaguar
- Internet Tough Guy<br>P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member
unless
You fucking moron you left that there on purpose.
Or are you really that retarded?
You fucking moron you left that there on purpose.
Or are you really that retarded?
- #60
- 12 June 2011 - 10:21 PM
I really love your work. 
"Me, Myself, and Mike" was a little too weird for me. I don't mind reading lemons (though I typically look for stories with a little more to it than just blatant sex), but this was just...eh. Really offsetting and nonsensical.
"Cracked" was pretty good. David always knows how to put a smile on someone's face. Other than the sex, I'm sure all of this could happen if Sandy DID actually come to Roseville and meet David.
"Silence is Golden" was really heart-warming. I've always liked Amaya and her silent demeanor. I wish there was more fanfiction focused on her out there.
"Sweet Spot" is the best BCB one-shot fanfic I've ever read. Definitely the most well-thought out one. It had a great concept and a great idea. "Mike and Jasmine are actually really similar when you come right down to it, so what if they were to meet and have a meaningful conversation?" Incredible job. The best part is when they hug. MikeXJasmine FTW!
I've been reviewing each chapter of "Tides" over on fanfiction.net, under the username 'NintendoSegaSonyGuy'. It's your most ambitious, longest, and probably best work. Jasmine is a very interesting character, and you handle her emotions really well. Daniel is JUST LIKE Augustus, which makes him a force to be reckoned with. I do sometimes wish that more chapters focused on Paulo (and maybe Lucy), but I realize that the focus is more so on Jasmine than him. I'm not complaining. It's a great story and I hope you continue for a long time.
"Me, Myself, and Mike" was a little too weird for me. I don't mind reading lemons (though I typically look for stories with a little more to it than just blatant sex), but this was just...eh. Really offsetting and nonsensical.
"Cracked" was pretty good. David always knows how to put a smile on someone's face. Other than the sex, I'm sure all of this could happen if Sandy DID actually come to Roseville and meet David.
"Silence is Golden" was really heart-warming. I've always liked Amaya and her silent demeanor. I wish there was more fanfiction focused on her out there.
"Sweet Spot" is the best BCB one-shot fanfic I've ever read. Definitely the most well-thought out one. It had a great concept and a great idea. "Mike and Jasmine are actually really similar when you come right down to it, so what if they were to meet and have a meaningful conversation?" Incredible job. The best part is when they hug. MikeXJasmine FTW!
I've been reviewing each chapter of "Tides" over on fanfiction.net, under the username 'NintendoSegaSonyGuy'. It's your most ambitious, longest, and probably best work. Jasmine is a very interesting character, and you handle her emotions really well. Daniel is JUST LIKE Augustus, which makes him a force to be reckoned with. I do sometimes wish that more chapters focused on Paulo (and maybe Lucy), but I realize that the focus is more so on Jasmine than him. I'm not complaining. It's a great story and I hope you continue for a long time.
- #62
- 14 June 2011 - 02:25 PM
- SushiJaguar
- Internet Tough Guy<br>P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member
I'd tell you that you missed the entire point of M, M, & M but I got run over by a train.
- #63
- 14 June 2011 - 02:30 PM
SushiJaguar, on 14 June 2011 - 02:30 PM, said:
I'd tell you that you missed the entire point of M, M, & M but I got run over by a train.
You seem to be talking just fine despite the train attack...
- #64
- 15 June 2011 - 04:09 PM
- SushiJaguar
- Internet Tough Guy<br>P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member
Well one finds it hard to throw oneself in front of a train, especially when it was Ace who ordered the one who threw himself in front of a train to throw himself in front of a train.
- #65
- 15 June 2011 - 05:57 PM
I agree. Takes a hell of a lot of will power to commit suicide like that. So you didn't get hit by a train, then. What was the point of Me, Myself, and Mike?
- #66
- 15 June 2011 - 06:10 PM
- Ace
- BCI Member
NintendoSegaSonyGuy, on 15 June 2011 - 06:10 PM, said:
I agree. Takes a hell of a lot of will power to commit suicide like that. So you didn't get hit by a train, then. What was the point of Me, Myself, and Mike?
To prove that it could be done. It was a kind of a dare by an old IRC'er named Dr. John to write Mike x Mike x Mike and I said WELL SHIT LETS DO THIS. I giggled many times while writing it.
- #67
- 15 June 2011 - 07:01 PM
- Ace
- BCI Member
Oh, not that I'm sure anyone particularly cares, but if you haven't noticed, Tides is on some kind of hiatus while I deal with being out of town/ working on my painting before wargamescon. Kind of sucks leaving on that chapter though, but whatchagunnado. Thanks for reading if you do, if not, well, why did you click the link? 
- #68
- 22 June 2011 - 07:55 PM
- Purin
- Member
Well that's a relief. I don't have to sit here curled up in fetal position, sucking my thumb waiting for some indication of an update or hiatus.
Stupid question: Wargames, what exactly is that? I've played a many "wargames," so I am curious as to what you were specifically eluding to.
Stupid question: Wargames, what exactly is that? I've played a many "wargames," so I am curious as to what you were specifically eluding to.
- #69
- 22 June 2011 - 07:59 PM
- SushiJaguar
- Internet Tough Guy<br>P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member
WARGAMES IS WARGAMES
IT'S SERIOUS BUSINESS.
IT'S SERIOUS BUSINESS.
- #70
- 22 June 2011 - 09:18 PM
Ace, on 22 June 2011 - 07:55 PM, said:
Oh, not that I'm sure anyone particularly cares, but if you haven't noticed, Tides is on some kind of hiatus while I deal with being out of town/ working on my painting before wargamescon. Kind of sucks leaving on that chapter though, but whatchagunnado. Thanks for reading if you do, if not, well, why did you click the link?
It's fine; we understand. Take all the time you need (cause God knows I certainly do). I can't wait to get that message of the next new chapter in my Inbox.
- #71
- 22 June 2011 - 09:33 PM
- Titanium Dragon
- BCI Member
Ace demands thread bumps. And for me to read Cracked ; ;
- #74
- 04 July 2011 - 02:16 PM
- Titanium Dragon
- BCI Member
Ace, remind me to read Cracked tommorrow. I feel awkward logging into AdultFanfiction.net at an airport.
- #77
- 04 July 2011 - 10:45 PM
- OneLonelyPickle
- Member
Ace, on 22 June 2011 - 09:59 PM, said:
WARHAMMER 40K HURRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Do you play 40k?
- #78
- 06 July 2011 - 05:53 AM
Ace, on 06 July 2011 - 01:27 PM, said:
OneLonelyPickle, on 06 July 2011 - 05:53 AM, said:
Ace, on 22 June 2011 - 09:59 PM, said:
WARHAMMER 40K HURRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Do you play 40k?
Does the pope shit in the woods?
Um...Yes?
- #80
- 07 July 2011 - 03:38 AM
- Ace
- BCI Member
Ayup, I started writing again. I expect all of three people will get the notifications in their e-mails soon. Still, I plan on finishing this through since I had a breakthrough and can realign my endings properly again! Yaaaaay!
Anyways, onto this next chapter. I decided I wanted the two sides of the main characters again and while each is long enough to be it's own, short chapter I felt they went better together like this. Oh and I do have the next chapter basically ready so at least I don't deny anyone for a long period of time! Thanks everyone who is sticking with this and welcome to anyone new! You should read Cracked.
Tides Chapter 11- Castaways and Message in a Bottle
(Is just having way too much fun with the water themed titles now)
Anyways, onto this next chapter. I decided I wanted the two sides of the main characters again and while each is long enough to be it's own, short chapter I felt they went better together like this. Oh and I do have the next chapter basically ready so at least I don't deny anyone for a long period of time! Thanks everyone who is sticking with this and welcome to anyone new! You should read Cracked.
Tides Chapter 11- Castaways and Message in a Bottle
(Is just having way too much fun with the water themed titles now)
- #81
- 14 July 2011 - 05:21 AM
- Borg Lord
- Talk shit about furries and see how mad I get!
Member 
I found the phrase "He seemed lacked an impulsiveness and suave manner" disruptive to my reading, and it didn't help that a line break comes in the middle of it; I ended up highlighting the line just to make sure I wasn't accidentally jumping ahead a line. "He was over… well mostly over, her by now" also bothered me, as the comma should of course come after "well", not after "over". And I don't think Sue would say "shut it McCain" so lightly.
- #82
- 14 July 2011 - 09:18 AM
- Taeshi
- one hot bitch
Administrator 
Hahaha, it's nice that you made off Paulo to be pretty sad about the news, if anything he would have gotten really angry at Jasmine and avoided her from then on, because he would assume she's two-timing because didn't she get together with Daniel the day after they broke up? He would feel cheated and unfair because he's the one that put the time and effort trying to see her, and then when he complains, she goes with some dumb popular guy. What a bitch.
It's interesting to see him in a light where he's just mopey, Paulo tends to lean more to feelings of anger and frustration, though I think if they ever did come across, he wouldn't want to lash out at her and would be a kicked puppy about it ffff
It's interesting to see him in a light where he's just mopey, Paulo tends to lean more to feelings of anger and frustration, though I think if they ever did come across, he wouldn't want to lash out at her and would be a kicked puppy about it ffff
- #83
- 14 July 2011 - 03:46 PM
- Ace
- BCI Member
@Borg Lord: Thank you for pointing out those mistakes, sometimes I gloss over the work and make a change and it kind of throws a sentence or two out of proportion. I should have it fixed, although I won't take out the Shut it McCain portion because I love using that line and I feel she would say it more as a dismissive gesture than actually meaning it.
@Taeshi: Curses you caught it before I fixed those errors that Bord Lord pointed out. Yeah, I'm not going to lie when I say that I see Paulo as more of an emotional guy than he really is. Perhaps it's for the plot of the story, perhaps it's how my mind works but well that's how it is. Besides if you want anger you'll get it next chapter. I suppose.
Speaking of chapters, since I edited this latest one, the link may be broken so I'll have to upload the real one when I get back home, for now please just click on *gulp* chapter 10 and then go forwards, it should be fixed by then.
@Taeshi: Curses you caught it before I fixed those errors that Bord Lord pointed out. Yeah, I'm not going to lie when I say that I see Paulo as more of an emotional guy than he really is. Perhaps it's for the plot of the story, perhaps it's how my mind works but well that's how it is. Besides if you want anger you'll get it next chapter. I suppose.
Speaking of chapters, since I edited this latest one, the link may be broken so I'll have to upload the real one when I get back home, for now please just click on *gulp* chapter 10 and then go forwards, it should be fixed by then.
- #84
- 14 July 2011 - 05:37 PM
Yay! You're back!
I just realized something while reading this new chapter: Augustus has a little brother, doesn't he? He mentioned it to Daisy somewhere back in an old chapter of BCB (Taeshi can confirm that). Is Daniel supposed to be Augustus' little brother?
I don't find it so wrong that Paulo is more emotional in this story than he typically would be otherwise. I kind of have Ace's same thought-process. Paulo will be similarly discorded in my story as well (just as soon as I get to that point in it).
I just realized something while reading this new chapter: Augustus has a little brother, doesn't he? He mentioned it to Daisy somewhere back in an old chapter of BCB (Taeshi can confirm that). Is Daniel supposed to be Augustus' little brother?
I don't find it so wrong that Paulo is more emotional in this story than he typically would be otherwise. I kind of have Ace's same thought-process. Paulo will be similarly discorded in my story as well (just as soon as I get to that point in it).
This post has been edited by NintendoSegaSonyGuy: 14 July 2011 - 10:36 PM
- #86
- 14 July 2011 - 10:36 PM
- Junior Boomer
- BCI Member
NintendoSegaSonyGuy, on 14 July 2011 - 10:36 PM, said:
He mentioned it to Daisy somewhere back in an old chapter of BCB (Taeshi can confirm that).
EDIT: Ah I see the quote you're talking about, though who knows if he was just lying about that, unless Tae confirmed it, in which case carry on citizen.
This post has been edited by Junior Boomer: 14 July 2011 - 11:15 PM
- #87
- 14 July 2011 - 10:53 PM
- Junior Boomer
- BCI Member
There we have it.
On the note of the actual story, something about Daniel obviously doesn't seem right and I'm thinking he's not as deep as he gives the appearance of being. My prediction is that he's going to turn up bad and Paulo's gonna have to save the day or something, though that's a very flawed statement on it's own without any real proof. I'm just curious to see what comes next.
On the note of the actual story, something about Daniel obviously doesn't seem right and I'm thinking he's not as deep as he gives the appearance of being. My prediction is that he's going to turn up bad and Paulo's gonna have to save the day or something, though that's a very flawed statement on it's own without any real proof. I'm just curious to see what comes next.
This post has been edited by Junior Boomer: 15 July 2011 - 12:56 AM
- #89
- 15 July 2011 - 12:55 AM
Taeshi, on 15 July 2011 - 12:09 AM, said:
Augustus is an only child.
Alright, cool.
- #90
- 15 July 2011 - 04:59 AM
- Ace
- BCI Member
Tides Chapter 12: Rock the Boat
Don't rock the boat baby
Rock the boat.
Don't tip the boat over.
But no seriously, let's take a looksie...
@Taeshi: Yeah, probably. I don't have a problem on the outset having her get yelled at but deep inside my heart of hearts (which is next to my heart of the cards) is probably a center that has that all... there. But no seriously I didn't think about that getting all streamlined and Paulo whatevering.
@JB: Oh dear no, JB saw through the plot already, what a shocker.
Or did he? Oh I guess you'll have to read to find out!
Sorry if this chapter feels a little fast, I could have Dickens'd the hell out this but god knows when I would have been able to throw it out. Besides, it let me, as Keima says: See the ending!
Yeah. There's that.
Don't rock the boat baby
Rock the boat.
Don't tip the boat over.
But no seriously, let's take a looksie...
@Taeshi: Yeah, probably. I don't have a problem on the outset having her get yelled at but deep inside my heart of hearts (which is next to my heart of the cards) is probably a center that has that all... there. But no seriously I didn't think about that getting all streamlined and Paulo whatevering.
@JB: Oh dear no, JB saw through the plot already, what a shocker.
Or did he? Oh I guess you'll have to read to find out!
Sorry if this chapter feels a little fast, I could have Dickens'd the hell out this but god knows when I would have been able to throw it out. Besides, it let me, as Keima says: See the ending!
Yeah. There's that.
- #91
- 17 July 2011 - 05:44 AM
- Taeshi
- one hot bitch
Administrator
Hahahahhahahahaha I love this chapter. This is the best "FUCK YOU FOR THINKING AUGUSTUS IS SIAMESE" chapter ever.
You have an entertaining writing style and I an insanely intrigued by what you're getting at :-[ also aaaaaaaa paulo is so cute when he's pathetically wounded
You have an entertaining writing style and I an insanely intrigued by what you're getting at :-[ also aaaaaaaa paulo is so cute when he's pathetically wounded
- #93
- 17 July 2011 - 10:16 AM
Augustus is not the kind of person who uses coarse language, so I figured he wasn't the guy who Paulo almost ran into at the start of this chapter. Not to mention, Augustus probably wouldn't kick Paulo while he was down. Some words would certainly be exchanged, and he probably wouldn't help Paulo by calling for help or even bothering to help him stand up, but he wouldn't kick him. Speaking of Augustus, he's not a Siamese cat? Then what the hell is he?
When Paulo asked Augustus why he helped him, I almost figured Augustus would reply with something like, "Looks like I'm not the monster Daisy and Abbey made me out to be, am I?" Some kinda witty line like that or something. I do like what he did say, though. "Because I like seeing people get what's theirs is all, oh but do be gentle, I hear the lad's got himself a new girlie." Very clever line, Ace.
Keep it up, man. You're a great writer. Even more impressive is that you've created a story that Taeshi loves. Why is that so impressive? You have an OC in your story. Taeshi hates OCs. She still loves and follows your story. You should be proud.
When Paulo asked Augustus why he helped him, I almost figured Augustus would reply with something like, "Looks like I'm not the monster Daisy and Abbey made me out to be, am I?" Some kinda witty line like that or something. I do like what he did say, though. "Because I like seeing people get what's theirs is all, oh but do be gentle, I hear the lad's got himself a new girlie." Very clever line, Ace.
Keep it up, man. You're a great writer. Even more impressive is that you've created a story that Taeshi loves. Why is that so impressive? You have an OC in your story. Taeshi hates OCs. She still loves and follows your story. You should be proud.
- #94
- 17 July 2011 - 09:22 PM
- Junior Boomer
- BCI Member
Ace, on 17 July 2011 - 05:44 AM, said:
@JB: Oh dear no, JB saw through the plot already, what a shocker.
Or did he? Oh I guess you'll have to read to find out!
Or did he? Oh I guess you'll have to read to find out!
Yeah I know I was being a captain obvious pointing out that Daniel's probably a dick, but I felt like writing some sort of prediction. Great chapter though, Augustus at his finest. I'm interested to see the confrontation between Paulo and Daniel and how Jasmine reacts to it, which will probably be her thinking Paulo beat him up for another reason and Daniel manipulating her viewpoint and yadda yadda.
- #95
- 17 July 2011 - 09:46 PM
- Ace
- BCI Member
@nintend...seg...guy...
Anyways so yeah, for the astute reader it should have been obvious who the person was, but how would Paulo have known? I was going off the assumption that he was predjuiced against Augustus, especially not knowing too much about him, while his anger clouded his vision. So yeah, he'd beeline to him. And to reinforce the point augustus did say that line. Also it's fun to write Augustus while smirking like I imagine he would.
@JB: stop that.
Anyways so yeah, for the astute reader it should have been obvious who the person was, but how would Paulo have known? I was going off the assumption that he was predjuiced against Augustus, especially not knowing too much about him, while his anger clouded his vision. So yeah, he'd beeline to him. And to reinforce the point augustus did say that line. Also it's fun to write Augustus while smirking like I imagine he would.
@JB: stop that.
- #96
- 17 July 2011 - 11:04 PM
- Catalyst
- Member
Ace, on 17 July 2011 - 05:44 AM, said:
Sorry if this chapter feels a little fast, I could have Dickens'd the hell out this but god knows when I would have been able to throw it out.
I actually liked the tone and style with which you wrote this chapter. It seems to reflect Paulo's slightly pissed off mood pretty well. After all, Paulo pretty much single-mindedly rushed after Augustus without much thought, so it's appropriate that you didn't insert too introspection or divert the reader's attention to other issues before that point. That's not to say I don't enjoy your normal style of writhing, just that the style you employed here seemed an appropriate choice given Paulo's mood.
- #97
- 18 July 2011 - 01:47 AM
- Junior Boomer
- BCI Member
Ace, on 17 July 2011 - 11:04 PM, said:
@JB: stop that.
My heart bleeds
- #98
- 18 July 2011 - 02:34 AM
Ruins the fun for everyone else!
- Ace
- BCI Member
Ahaha would you look at that it's been 10 days haha okay. 
Uhm yes! So time to dole out excuses, 1. studying for a test 2. Homestuck
Those are all I have. Sadly this is also all I have Tides Chapter 13- The calm
It's not much, but it's a set up for the next chapter, which is mostly complete! However I may be detained due to other circumstances until like, Friday, so I wanted to put something out. Don't worry, the next one should be good, so all I can say is I hope this will Tide you over until then!
Get it?...
Eh?
Yeah.
Uhm yes! So time to dole out excuses, 1. studying for a test 2. Homestuck
Those are all I have. Sadly this is also all I have Tides Chapter 13- The calm
It's not much, but it's a set up for the next chapter, which is mostly complete! However I may be detained due to other circumstances until like, Friday, so I wanted to put something out. Don't worry, the next one should be good, so all I can say is I hope this will Tide you over until then!
Get it?...
Eh?
Yeah.
- #100
- 26 July 2011 - 05:44 AM