Meowth's Writing Thread

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Meowth's Writing Thread

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

H~~OLY SHI~~T
MOTHERFUCKEERING WRITING

WRITING
WRITING
[right]WRITING

<HTML>WORDS FUCKING EVERYWHERE</HTML>

ALSO i TAKE COMMISSIONS
--

If the story is not currently complete, please bear in mind that genre, summary, and rating are all subject to change.

RATED K+:
No Moment is Purrfect
After receiving some terrible news, Mike finds himself a depressed shell of a person. There is only one person who can cheer him up, but the real question is how far is she willing to go to do it?
This is my first fanfiction in awhile that doesn't involve Omorashi, but my third actual BCB fic.

Cat's Eye View
A cat that hates other cats.

Theme One: Life
Philosophical essay on the nature of life.

Theme Two: Youth
A short story of unconditional innocence.

Theme Three: Content
Really makes you wonder.

Theme Four: Change
Misguided jealousy.

Sometimes.
Shitty DA short story. Don't bother reading this. It is trivial and depressing.

Max and Boston
This is a story about a trainer and his Pokemon. It exposes the predictable and flawed nature of humans through Max and Boston's unique relationship, and shows just how unkind a Pokemon world can be. It takes place in a much more dangerous world than the series or games.

Note to Self

Sewer Man
Don't be a sewer man.

Voices.
A pointless story I almost didn't put here. Another story you shouldn't bother with.

The Second Person
The Second Person 2: Sensational
Non-BCB

Serpents of the Eternal Sands Bathed in the Blood of the Ancients has been added!
This is Purin's PxD commission. He donated $7 dollars.

RATED T:
Feline Hangover
After a party gets a touch out of hand, Mike and Lucy find themselves in quite the embarrassing situation. It's now up to one of them to take responsibility but who will do it first?
My first ever BCB FF. Contains Omorashi references but not explicit. Don't let it scare you.

Jasmine's Judgement
Jasmine finally makes time to go on a date with Paulo, but ends up blowing him off too hang out with her friends. Did she make the right move? Omorashi content. Request by Taeshi

Halloween
The male cast gets trapped in the school. Things get intense. Mild language and sexual theme. Don't read this. It is terrible. Request from Beachsidecheese.

Renaissance Rot
A twisted story that moves seamlessly, and to some, incoherently.

Curvaceous Catburator.
Lucy gets into a car accident, and the only way to save her turns out to be the most ironic of fates. Rating is subject to change. K+ at the moment. Multichapter!

RATED M:
Friends Forever
After receiving some life changing news, Mike's outlook on the world around him changes significantly. This is the story of how he questions everything he once thought was true, and the measures he is willing to take to maintain his self-respect.

Daisy's Dilemma
Daisy finds herself sucked into a book like never before, and with her mind focused on getting to the next chapter she begins to shrug off her real-life needs. As they say, curiosity killed the cat, or at least embarrassed it. Contains Omorashi and mild adult themes.

Mouse in Space
This is a MeXSpaceMouse story I promised the IRC. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Infinity
SusanxSusan. For the IRC again. Not as good as Mouse in Space (in my opinion), but fuck it. You heard me. Butt fuck. Oh, and for those who aren't familiar with her, this is about the person Susan. Not the BCB character.

A Not-So Cliche Summer Part I
A Not-So Cliche Summer Part II
A Not-So Cliche Summer Part III
A story of sexual discovery, self-realization, idealistic happiness, and Omorashi.
NON-BCB RELATED. Slightly NSFW: Mild Sexual Themes and Omorashi.

Once in a Blue Moon
A young man decides to take his girlfriend out for a movie, but it doesn't take long for the movie to become the last thing on his mind. This story contains Omorashi. Competition winning story!

The Many Stories of Samantha Pt. I

A man tells stories of the various things that occurred involving his best-friend's, beautiful, older sister. Omorashi content.

Looking for Today
A story about detectives. Done for Taeshi.

Avalanche
Has Mike's entire life been a lie? As he questions his relationship with Sandy, he begins to wonder what it is he truly wants and who he is. Can he find happiness? Or will he forever live in the shadow of his doubt and fear?

Issues
It seems that Jasmine and Paulo are having trouble in their relationship. This is told from Jasmine's perspective.

RATED MA:
Aloof
Daisy and Abbey get into an argument, and Daisy finds herself out in the world looking for relief from her day to day stressors. AugustusxDaisy. Request by TheBellBoy

Dominating Daisy
Daisy and Abbey finally get a little time alone. Their parents seem to think they're harmless, but maybe that isn't quite the case... Requested by JuniorBoomer

Ace Illusion
Jasmine finds herself having trouble controlling her needs, and it's starting to become overwhelming. Requested by Ace

A Stormy Night
NOT BCB RELATED. This was a short little thing I wrote awhile ago. It's a horror short story, and is still one of my favorite pieces.

Sultry Shadows
Paulo takes Tess out on a date, more concerned with impressing her than about anything else... at first. Requested by SushiJaguar

Journey
It's Lucy's birthday, but she is feeling rather down, or at least until she get's a visit from a very close friend. PauloxLucy.
Done as an art trade with SpaceMouse

Genital Personification
'Tis time to experience life from the perspective of a lone penis. Commission from BotonWiggles.

Upon the Cross
Mike and Lucy have sex, Paulo get's to watch... but that's not all he has to go through. WARNING: Contains torture. Request by Susan.

Charizard Rape Story
Old ass thing I wrote when I was a /tr/ainer. Hardcore.

Fear of the Dark
"“She’s… alone.” He said to himself, feeling oddly detached from the world around him. The theater seemed almost a blur to his eyes and his mind was consumed in convoluted thought and wild fantasy. " Rape fic. Done for PandaRainbow/PanPan out of appreciation.

Fly Me to the Moon
They both lay down on the blanket, staring up the bright sky, a perspective almost unrealistic, almost impossibly idealistic and pristine. Fluff, PauloXJasmine.

Hungarian Pony #2
“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.” TwilightSparkleXRainbowDash If you read this, you will regret it.

Denial
Paulo's dad has to go away for the weekend on business, and Paulo is stuck at Mike's house in the mean time. What kinds of shenanigans will ensue? MikeXPaulo. Somewhat terse.

Good Times
Fetish. Original.

Ally
Ally 2
Ally 3
Ally 4
Ally 5
Fluffy. Furry. Fetish. Original.

Autumn Leaves
Two of the female cast get raped.

Predicting the Future.
My predication of what will happen after the volume two preview chapter. Oneshot, paid commission.

Thunderstruck
MikeXHaley.

Jessica
Omorashi. Made me $10 in a writing competition. Is actually pretty awful.

The Bird and The Baby
Two requests combined into one story. "Amaya" and "Murder." (Radial and DLancer, respectively).

Night Walking Terror
Amaya gets raped.

Get It By Your Hands
SueXAmaya porn. Have fun. Part commission, part gift for Chris.

Farmer in the City
Paulo mercilessly beats Lucy with his genitals. Commission for Supertails.

Art Trades:

SpaceMouse (He gave me this.)
PandaRainbow/PanPan (She gave me this and this.)
ZoeStellan (He gave me this)

People I've Done Commissions For:

BotonWiggles
Purin (Three Times)
Suitcase
Snore
Chris
Supertails

This post has been edited by Meowth: Today, 08:43 AM

#1
30 January 2011 - 07:29 PM

Sammy
Banned

Good story. I liked the smaller details, like the TV in the first chapter. And you got Lucy's character spot on.

But...Omorashi? You're into that kinda thing?...Well, whatever floats your boat, I guess.

This post has been edited by Sammy: 30 January 2011 - 07:36 PM

#2
30 January 2011 - 07:34 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

Thanks for the comment, and yes, I'll admit it, I am definitely into it. Normally I would keep something like that private, but since it has been 90% of my writing for the longest time it seemed somewhat relevant.

#3
30 January 2011 - 07:53 PM

Sammy
Banned

I suppose I could see how it might be a turn-on.

#4
30 January 2011 - 08:34 PM

Lycan
call me lyucs
Member

Well written ^_^

Quite an angsting Mike.

Lucy seems so much kinder and mature.
And Mike acts like he was doing wrong before Sandy breaks up with him, that's interesting.

#5
30 January 2011 - 08:42 PM

TheLightorTheDark
Banned

"The King of B.S."?
You're insulting yourself?

#6
30 January 2011 - 09:19 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

Aye, thanks for the compliment. I could probably get into a long discussion as to why I chose the characters to take on the roles they did, but it seems a bit unnecessary.

And for my old pen name... I'm thought about changing it, but I've been going by it for years now. I'll probably change it when I remove or edit the crap fictions on that account. I picked it when I was like 13... :unsure:

#7
30 January 2011 - 09:23 PM

DemonKat
Member

Good Story... i liked it alot. 8-D

#8
30 January 2011 - 11:30 PM

Ace
BCI Member

Interesting! I half expected the story to take a turn for the nsfw, but you certainly fooled me! I can't really say much about anything being out of character, because its fanfiction, but if anything Lucy at the end, kind of felt like a different character because she was just so damned attached to him I felt she'd totally want that regardless, but it worked! So, yeah I liked it.

#9
31 January 2011 - 12:29 AM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

I will admit that Lucy was a touch out of character at the end but sometimes it's hard to resist making things go your way.

#10
31 January 2011 - 12:53 AM

Taeshi
one hot bitch
Administrator

POST YOUR OTHER STORIES ;___; Daisy's Dilemma and the Feline Hangover!!!

#11
31 January 2011 - 05:41 AM

Volgrand
Member

I like the history, but as I said in my comment in fanfiction, I found mike's reaction a bit overexaggerated. But it's good.

#12
31 January 2011 - 11:51 AM

Maverik
Moderator

I'm so glad that you took my advice and posted a new story here! I always enjoy finding new talent, and you definitely have that.

What I'm finding with your stories is that you have a knack for approaching topics in a unique way. This sort of story has been told before, but the way you've approached it is refreshingly different. Especially the ending, which, whilst it could be argued that Lucy might not be so quick to realize what she did, the story definitely benefits from the path you chose to take.

Your attention to detail, whilst impressive, is perhaps a little overboard? I've seen others praising you for the little things line noting what was on TV, however, it feels out of place and unnecessary to me, bogging the story down somewhat. A simple fix if you wish to retain the atmosphere would just be to mention the sound of the television invading his thoughts, as opposed to actually noting what was said, and what Mike thought about it.

There's a few other gripes, but nothing a thesaurus couldn't fix (Lucy and Mike sure did "Mumble" quite a bit) and the occasional piece of odd phrasing/typo. However, as you yourself have said, you're no editor. So perhaps you would benefit from finding somebody who's interested in editing and working with them (or even just getting a friend to look over your stories).

The characterization felt really solid, and the use of Chekhov's Gun was really pleasing to see. All I can really say is to get a second set of eyes to look over your work before posting it, and keep up the otherwise good work

I also agree with Taeshi. Post Daisy's Dilemma and Feline Hangover on the forums here for others to read as they're both very good!

#13
31 January 2011 - 02:48 PM

Lycan
call me lyucs
Member

Oh, I didn't mention it before,
but the best thing (more like the best different thing) in your fanfic was that assignment Mike had to do.
Good way of finishing a story,

that one I felt that came from a professional

#14
31 January 2011 - 08:42 PM

Junior Boomer
BCI Member

Characters seemed a bit out of character to me and a bit too much detail here and there. Otherwise pretty good.

#15
31 January 2011 - 08:49 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

I'll start off with saying thank you all very much for the compliments. It's always great to see your work appreciated and serves as a definite source of inspiration. I'd also like to say thank you even more so for the criticisms and suggestions. The denizens of the internet are the only people whoever read my stories, so they serve as one of my few means to ever becoming a better writer, at least until college (assuming I get in).

Moving along, I've noticed a lot of people saying the characters were a touch out of character. I can't really argue this, since I do somewhat agree. I've done quite a bit of self-reflecting on the topic, and I believe I know why. It has to do with the differences in the real world, vs world they live in. I think I somewhat overlooked this, and that combined with some other minor issues I made, caused the characters to be a bit irrational. Of course I would be lying if I didn't somewhat like it like that.

A lot of people also mentioned a little bit of over-detailing. This is a bit of a complicated problem for me to resolve because part of me wants to make the story flow better, whilst another part of me is worried about stunting my growth as a writer. Although I'm not quite sure why, and it will probably take me some time to really figure it out, I am a very cryptic writer. Most things I write come out dark, and sometimes a touch over dramatic. I developed this around the time I started to write horror and became very critical and paranoid about the content of my stories. I hated most horrors around because of how typical and drab they were (I'm referring to movies mainly), so I tried so hard to be original I ended becoming an Edgar Allen Poe wannabe. It's just a bad habit that I need to work on, while simultaneous growing it.

@Maverick
You have a good point about the TV. It does somewhat break the flow of the story. I personally feel that the use of allusions in stories can sometimes captivate the reader, since I think if they recognize the content, it forms an almost psychological connection to them. If they don't recognize the story it may peak their curiosity and help keep their interest in the story. Regardless, it probably could have been displayed in a better fashion, or if anything, not displayed at all. But you know what they say, hindsight is 20 20.

I will do my best to find someone interested in giving a good look over my stories before posting them, but I normally don't like to be a bother, and I try to keep my friends out of certain sections of my personal life since they wouldn't understand and I doubt they would be highly interested.

Oh, and I wasn't aware it was called Chekhov's Gun. I always figured it was a method of heavenly foreshadowing. Well, I suppose that actually is what Chekhov's Gun is, but still, it's good to know. Not sure why, but as of late, I've found myself quite interested in weird things like this. You know allegories, extreme symbolism, and the like.

@Mav and Taeshi
If you both insist, I suppose I have no objections to posting the stories. Before I provide a link I will do a little bit of editing to them. The story lines and general themes will remain the same (even if Daisy's Dilemma was a touch convoluted), but I need to at least fix a few of the grammatical errors that I had overlooked in my initial editing process and Maverick was nice enough to help me find.

But I've been rabbling, I'll end this post with that.

EDIT: TYPOOOOOOOO'S!!!!

This post has been edited by Meowth: 01 February 2011 - 12:34 AM

#16
31 January 2011 - 10:20 PM

SuitCase
Administrator

I'll admit I found your thread on another board through referrer logs and thought it pretty funny that there was "omorashi" fiction out there. (Had to look up what that was.) But I kinda liked the two stories, as much as they were obviously there to serve a purpose.

I think Mav mentioned it earlier, I don't agree that there's much wrong with Daisy's Dilemma as far as the "plot hole" of "why doesn't she just drop the book and go" goes. Veronica is very often guilty of the same thing when reading something, and to be honest so am I - it seems pretty human to keep thinking you can hold it in or whatever until you turn the page.

Anyway, I might get around to reading the other one later. I do enjoy its title.

#17
01 February 2011 - 05:32 PM

Taeshi
one hot bitch
Administrator

You just like puns you twit :smirk:

#18
01 February 2011 - 05:39 PM

Sammy
Banned

I like your stories, and I like how you're not afraid to include the Omorashi elements in your fics. Cool stuff, man

#19
01 February 2011 - 06:01 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

I'll start this off by saying thanks again to everyone who has been supportive and helpful. Always nice to see that.

On to business, this post is to say that I have just added the first chapter of what will probably (at the time of this post) be the most depressing story I have ever written. As you can see by the summary Mike receives some life changing news, and this causes him to travel a road he has never before roamed, but at the risk of giving something away key to the plot, I'll stop.

You'll probably find the first chapter a bit odd. While it doesn't contribute directly to the main plot of the story, I can assure you that it will make sense later.

I hope those interested in reading it enjoy Friends Forever. Thanks!

#20
03 February 2011 - 12:20 AM

Sammy
Banned

MIKE HAS AIDS

Looking to be a good story

#21
03 February 2011 - 01:10 AM

Taeshi
one hot bitch
Administrator

Dammit Sammy I read the first chapter assuming that was the case so when he went to the doctor I was all "gerisdkhfdekxhgkdfhg"

LOOKING FORWARD TO THE SADNESS

#22
03 February 2011 - 07:18 AM

Volgrand
Member

I have just read "Friends forever".

As it is a nice reading, I think you took too long in the waiting room and the chairs problem (it was a little too long for me). For the rest, I think it's ok. Let's see how this will continue

#23
03 February 2011 - 02:00 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

@Volgrand
I'll admit it is a bit stretched out, but I assure you I was simply setting the scene and the true depressing nature of that chapter will be realized later on, assuming I don't attempt write past my own means.

@Sammy and Taeshi

AIDS? You guys are gonna have to try harder then that.

#24
04 February 2011 - 02:51 AM

Taeshi
one hot bitch
Administrator

Well the only reason I read it thinking he had AIDS was because of Sammy's comment. I thought he spoiled!

#25
04 February 2011 - 04:05 AM

Sammy
Banned

I would never spoil

Especially not with a dramaricious story like this one.

#26
04 February 2011 - 06:49 PM

SushiJaguar
Internet Tough Guy P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member

Pretty good first chapter in Friends Forever, Meowth. I like your style, it flows pretty well. Looking forward to more of it!

#27
05 February 2011 - 03:40 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

Chapter Two, Abnormality, for Friends Forever has been posted.

You get a deeper look into Mike's relationships, as well the way he conducts himself in different situations.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 05 February 2011 - 07:56 PM

#28
05 February 2011 - 07:54 PM

SushiJaguar
Internet Tough Guy P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member

I haven't read chapter two yet, but as soon as I opened the link, I got this feeling of imminent doom. Frickin' creepy.

EDIT: Whoo, liver problems? This should be good. Another awesome chapter, but I didn't really get any kind of apprehension from Mike. I know I'd be bricking it if a doctor said there was something wrong with my blood.

This post has been edited by SushiJaguar: 05 February 2011 - 08:15 PM

#29
05 February 2011 - 08:12 PM

Sammy
Banned

Oh dear. I can quickly see this story taking a very philosophical twist, and I really hope you give it a happy ending, Meowth ;_;

#30
05 February 2011 - 09:40 PM

SushiJaguar
Internet Tough Guy P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member

Sod that. It'll be more enjoyable if he bites it.

#31
05 February 2011 - 09:54 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

SushiJaguar, on 05 February 2011 - 08:12 PM, said:

I'm glad simply opening the chapter had that effect on you. 8-D

And there will definitely be more "apprehension" later on, but given the sudden ending of that chapter you didn't really get to see much of Mike's response. Plus, denial is a hell of a drug.

EDIT: Oh, and no comment on whether or not it will have a happy ending or not. Wouldn't want to ruin anything.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 05 February 2011 - 10:14 PM

#32
05 February 2011 - 10:08 PM

Sammy
Banned

Well, SPOILERS

Spoiler

Unless that's not what you intended, Meowth.

This post has been edited by Sammy: 05 February 2011 - 11:50 PM

#33
05 February 2011 - 11:49 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

Googling one of the few things a high ATP level can indicate? That's cold.

#34
06 February 2011 - 12:03 AM

SushiJaguar
Internet Tough Guy P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member

Sammy's cooler than cold.

He's iiiice coooold

#35
06 February 2011 - 12:14 AM

Sammy
Banned

No, I knew it because my best friend died from it when we were sixteen.

I'm zero kelvin, Sushi~

This post has been edited by Sammy: 06 February 2011 - 12:29 AM

#36
06 February 2011 - 12:28 AM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

Oh, excuse my ignorance. I had no idea. I'm sorry for your loss as well.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 06 February 2011 - 12:36 AM

#37
06 February 2011 - 12:36 AM

Sammy
Banned

It doesn't matter, you weren't to know.

#38
06 February 2011 - 12:50 AM

SushiJaguar
Internet Tough Guy P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member

Mmm, apologies.

#39
06 February 2011 - 12:51 AM

Taeshi
one hot bitch
Administrator

AWWWWWWWWKKKKWAAAAAAARDDDD

durpdurpdurp

(oh god well even though Sammy didn't research, I did

Aaa)

#40
06 February 2011 - 04:19 AM

Volgrand
Member

sorry for your loss sammy.

And damn me for being a nurse! I knew where was this pointing to when I read the high alpha-fetoprotein (yeah, I didnt googled it).

#41
06 February 2011 - 08:13 AM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

Well, in the off chance there are people out there who don't know whats wrong with Mike, here is Chapter Three, Extensive Testing.

Lot's of rising action, and a little more worry.

#42
06 February 2011 - 06:06 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

Chapter 4, The Results, has just been added.

I hope you all enjoy it, compliments and criticisms are both welcomed and encouraged.

If you find any mistakes, please let me know. I assure you I've reread this chapter many times, but I am not that great at editing, which I've said many a' times prior.

With any luck I should have Chapter 5 uploaded on Thursday.

Enjoy!

#43
08 February 2011 - 09:16 PM

SushiJaguar
Internet Tough Guy P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member

Awww, man. Now I can't wait till Thursday. This is one hell of a gripping read, you've got dem cliffhangers nailed. Also, you were right, we are seeming much more of Mike's reaction. *stands up, holding a radio* Shit just got real.

#44
08 February 2011 - 09:56 PM

Taeshi
one hot bitch
Administrator

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

maishul ;____;

also hahaha haley is such a jerk

(funfact: Mike also has a baby brother :U)

#45
09 February 2011 - 11:22 AM

Volgrand
Member

Oh Man, what a drama. Nice work!

#46
09 February 2011 - 12:37 PM

Meowth
Please go easy on me. I don't like critique. Or my title.
Member

Thank you all for the compliments, they are much appreciated.

Oh, and I had completely forgotten Mike had a little brother. I managed to somewhat work him into to this chapter, but fortunately me forgetting about him (as well as Blur :question:

) were not seriously detrimental.

Here is Chapter 5, Breakdown.

I do hope you all enjoy this chapter, compliments and criticisms are welcome, and all that jazz.

Chapter 6 should be uploaded on Saturday.

#47
10 February 2011 - 09:46 PM

Junior Boomer
BCI Member

Man I'm really getting into this story, keep up the great work man

#48
10 February 2011 - 09:59 PM

MiwAuturu
BCI Member
Ask me what I think about Snooths!

Aye, quite a good story so far, keep at it and I shall keep reading.

#49
10 February 2011 - 10:15 PM

SushiJaguar
Internet Tough Guy P.S. I roleplay as a medieval furry
Member

Damn, Meowth. This is getting pretty intense already. Looking forward to Sunday!

#50
11 February 2011 - 09:46 AM

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