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Mannnn I do feel for him and I can imagine him having a fit Despite all the hate people have towards the guy right now, he has really done so much tolerating in the past, and like dealing with people's shit. Wahhhh ;__;

Here it is, Chapter 6: Quiet Desperation.

Finally the name of the story is beginning to mean something... Well, I guess it is. You'll have to read the chapter to know what I mean.

Compliments are welcome; criticisms are encouraged. Chapter 7 will be added on Tuesday.

I've been trying to upload regularly on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, all the days (except Sunday) Taeshi doesn't upload the main comic, but it can be difficult to manage since I never upload anything unless I've reread it multiple times and after rereading it at least one day after writing it, to make sure it still sounds good to me. In other words, if it's Tuesday and I write another chapter early, and reread it like five times throughout the day, I won't upload it until Wednesday, that way I can be sure I'm happy with it. I'll do my best to keep things regular, but due to certain things that may pop up here and there, I can't really make any guarantees, since it is quite a bit to upload in a week's time.



Not sure why, but something about this thread seems different.

Good work, Meowth. It's been a long time since a fan story has actually made me want to read it instead of skimming it and shoving it aside.

ngnghghghghhh this is so in-character aaaaaa i am loving this

also I laughed at the mean statement Mike said to the family. I guess I understood the humour :-[ And the way you described the thought process made me giggle quite a bit.

Chapter 7, Two Lost Souls... is now up.

So, I bounce back and forth between liking and hating this chapter. Maybe because it's heavily based on dialogue, or maybe because I've reread the fucking thing like a billion times. Hopefully, it came out alright though.

So compliments are welcome. Criticisms are encouraged. Chapter 8 will be uploaded on Thursday.

@Susan
Thanks a lot for saying that. No offense, but you are often rather critical of many things, so it's particularly nice to see you (of all people) say that.

@Taeshi
Thanks to you as well. If the author of the original work says the characters are very in-character, I must be doing something right.

Although, last night I was feeling good about this chapter, for some reason today I'm feeling it doesn't sound right. Hmmm.


EDIT: An ironic typo.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 16 February 2011 - 01:01 AM

This is simply incredible. I don't even know, what to say, I just... wow. My heart is still pounding.

I have to admit Meowth. This is one of the best fics on the site.

When I started reading it, I was doing my usual thing. I picked out a grammar error here, and an odd phrase there... But by about the 3rd chapter, I wasn't even noticing any errors that may or may not have been present. I was too absorbed in the story.

Congratulations. You broke my critical eye haha.

It fills me with untold amounts of joy to look at your story and say "I have no criticism to offer." It's just a damn good story, and I look forward to seeing how it plays out.

You're the real deal Meowth.

Is this something that you, or someone you know has gone through?

Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl/ Year after year~

This post has been edited by Sammy: 15 February 2011 - 11:54 PM

I can't really say anything that hasn't been said already. Just don't burn yourself out to please us, I'd much rather you work at your own, infrequent pace and make more chapters of this quality, than faster, lesser chapters. You're fast becoming one of my favourite writers, Meowth.

@Quaddy
It is truly touching to see you enjoyed my story that much, so I must thank you.
As for your question, the short answer would be no. While I have not known anyone with the disorder in question, nor have I had anyone extremely close to me die of cancer, there is more to it than that. In a way, we have all experienced the emotional pain and feelings that Mike is going through right now. The difference is, is that Mike's are amplified to the point where they are consuming him. A simple conglomeration of all of his doubts, pain's, and lamentations acting together to create a depressed shell of a person. We've all been there, and whether or not the causes, or the extents, are the same is somewhat irrelevant. At least when all is said and done they are.

tl;dr - Nope.

@Mav
I must admit it is quite an honor to hear that you have no criticisms. Although it is slightly disappointing, I must admit it does bring a smile to my face every time I read it.

@Sammy
You're gonna laugh when you see the name of the next chapter.

@Sushi
While some of my reasons for me writing so much so quickly are rather complicated and would take far to long for me to explain (and actually understand myself), I can say one of the big one's is "practice makes perfect." I hope to one day become a successful author and it's going to take A LOT of writing to do that, especially with all the competition out there. I do assure you though, that if the quality of my writing does begin to decline, I will take a break from it.
As for those reasons I didn't mention, don't worry about them. Simply personal issues I need to work out myself.
Oh, and you're mention of me becoming one of your favorite authors is also much appreciated.

The Same Old Fear?

Why.
The.
Fuck.
didandresmshowmethisfanficbeforeitended??????


DAMNIT! Now I'm forced to wait like all of you!
NOOOOO!

Great work, Mr. Meowth! Some annoyances on the first 3~4 chapters, but I feel they were totally worth it!
Do you have the story planed out?

I also think its very in-character (d'oh, I figure this sounds egocentric after Taeshi-san said so herself), I too think he'd call Lucy first, even if it looks as a way to something MikexLucy related <- it's very well done, anyways, so =P

But, out of curiosity, Taeshi-san, Mike would call his sister fatfatfat so evilly? That was the only time I thought a little different.

This post has been edited by Lycan: 17 February 2011 - 12:47 AM

@Lycan
Ah, thank you very much for the compliments, Lycan. It's always great to see someone enjoying the story. Oh, and I'm a complete whore when it comes to making people wait. Makes me feel important . Although I do try to update fairly often.

While I do have the ending and the events that lead up to it planned out, a lot of this is somewhat impromptu. Not to mention majority of the specifics just seem to happen as I write. For example, the entire Chapter 9 (yet to be published) was written entirely on the spot.

I will admit the beginning chapters were a touch slow paced, but they were important to properly facilitate the actions Mike takes throughout the bulk of the story. Pretending that actually made sense, it's basically just showing that Mike faces the common insecurities that all teenagers do. They let you get a little deeper into his mind then can accurately be displayed on the comic. In the comic, these feeling are displayed typically with a facial feature, one that usually invokes thoughts and assumptions. These chapters are simply a compilation of my thoughts and assumptions regarding Mike's expressions and words being transferred into detailing and dialogue that seems within the realms of reason, while simultaneously feeding the story. Thus the exact reason why two people may have two very different, and two very possible outcomes, to one situation. So I'm basically building my own character profile for Mike in the story.

tl;dr - Character development.

As for them being in character, I wouldn't say it's quite egocentric. In my opinion there are two ways to view how well the characters are put together. In a technical sense as well as a practical sense. Technically, Taeshi can never make her characters out of character. It's not physically possible since they are her characters. Now practically, it's rare, but possible. If she was to develop a character in a certain way, thus giving them a psychological profile, then she was to make them do something ridiculous, it would be out of character, although not technically. It would be like Daisy getting a sex change out of nowhere. It wouldn't make any sense.

TL;DR - Thanks, bro!

Oh, I think I messed up with wording.

I said I thought it to be egocentric of me to be saying "Oh, this is in-character" right after Taeshi-san said so. I mean, as if I could change or add any meaning she gave you ^_^

Yes, while reading I was talking to Mr. andresm (who absolutely loves your story, but has yet to post his delighted comments here =D), and I figured that was to develop character. One scene that particularly called my attention was when Mike was at his first visit at the doctor, and was struggling/thinking about the who-where-to-sit situation. I think it was a little bit overdetailed, but the outcome of Mike's mind was great.

Also, I absolutely loved the sequence of Mike's mom embarrassing him over the needle. That had an awesome pacing and felt extremely right =D

This post has been edited by Lycan: 17 February 2011 - 02:20 AM

MWAhaha
Lycan now you see how cruel i am

I think this fanfic show how Mike needs Lucy and vice versa

Meowth this fanfic really takes my interest! I am sure i can`t help with grammar but i can say your write style makes me understand the most of it

Continue with this great work

I am waiting the next updates (like you Lycan )

I think you have an special "touch" to put yourself in the mind of the charactes. I could feel each of the sadness and the anger reactions of Mike. Man, you did such a great job. Don't stop writing please.

.... well I should apply that to myself

Well shit. Mike has Cancer and Lucy is coming over to cheer him up. Don't tell me you don't know whats about to happen. Time to bang doors apparently.

Also Volgrand, when are you gunna make more "One Step Beyond" that shit was getting awesome.

Sorry Fenix, but I have been travelling, mainly doing some manifestations in spain (fucking politicians (that don't listen to the people (and approve shitty laws))). I will write more soon, I promise

This post has been edited by Volgrand: 17 February 2011 - 03:49 AM

Great gotta wait, but hopfully it will be worth. It was really awesome. Anyway. Its about to get HOT in this fanfic, lol.

Writing with a plan just makes a story really stiff. If you don't plan, then it's like you are reading the story for the first time as well as writing it, which just heightens the experience. A rough guide is all you really need. That's my view, anyway

This post has been edited by Sammy: 09 October 2011 - 01:25 PM

It's the writer's responsibility not to make his/her story stiff, but having a plan helps with the structure, as well as avoid holes in the story, won't it?
But, yeah, you shouldn't meticulously plan everything, as Mr. Sammy said, a rough guide will do.

Yea when you plan ahead and finally come to the point about what you planed, when you start writing it. It sounds like shit.

Not always. I never really had that problem, though I always enjoyed my on-the-fly writing more.

Yea, well when I do that. When I get to an epic part in my story, its not as epic as I thought it would be, in fact it turns out horrible.

God this fanfic is more exciting than an intercourse scene

This post has been edited by RedJack: 17 February 2011 - 07:44 PM

Thats not true. Must be because you've never had sex. Its like talking to god.

This is an awesome fanfic, but nothing compared to sex my friend.

This post has been edited by Fenix341: 17 February 2011 - 07:50 PM

Oh I'm sorry I meant to say Watching one

Okay then your right.

Meowth, on 17 February 2011 - 01:33 AM, said:

I'd like a dictionary with a side of Thesaurus to go please.

Didn't read. Ha! Far to long.

It's not that long. I'm sure you can keep focus if you've been reading the story.

Chapter 8, ...Swimming in a Fishbowl has just been added. Bonus points to anyone who understands the end of this chapter.

I hope you guys enjoy it, and if the excessive amount of drama is crushing you, don't worry, comic relief is coming soon, but that's all I'll say for now.

Oh, I'll also say this long list of replies.

EDIT: The next chapter will be posted on February 19, better known as Saturday.

@Lycan
I know you meant that. I was just saying I didn't really think it was egocentric of you. I was actually defending you from yourself. Don't know how that one happened...

Oh, and some of the over detailing was a mixture of character development (as you already know), and to help set the mood. And I don't mean just detailing to set the mood, but actually over detailing. Seems like an odd method, but I'm trying new things in this story since it's basically practice.

@andresm
Thank you. I always love to see a person enjoying one of my writings.

@Volgrand
Thank you as well. I think people naturally seem to write about what they know best, and the thing I know best is myself. After that, it's only finding the differences between me and the character and how those differences correspond with their actions. It's like math, which ironically I'm terrible at.

Although I believe I've already posted it on your thread, I do look forward to seeing more of your story as well.

@Sammy, Lycan, and Sushi
I agree that having a plan does help, but I feel that a general basis is a more potent then a chalked out blueprint, at least for me. It's like having a series of dots. Each dot is an idea you want to incorporate into your literature, and the space in-between those dots is everything else. The closer those dots are together, the less freedom you have with the story. We could even look at it like math. The dots are simply an answer I need to come up with an equation to solve. If I have a broad answer like a single value, there are many ways to make it come about, but if I have a more specific answer I would be limited in my methods. Of course math can go on forever and the like, while writing is somewhat limited (assuming you want to keep things within reason).

TL;DR - I basically like to take some dots, call it the story, and then add a bunch of crap in between them. Or something like that.

@RedJack
More exciting than watching sex? That's gotta be one of the best compliments I've gotten for anything to date.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 18 February 2011 - 01:20 AM

This chapter make me cry a little

Is beautiful and sad at the same time

You are the man

You know what, I love it.

You're doing a great work, Mr. Meowth,
I like the way that conversation turned up!
Damn, these chapters are growing shorter everytime >_<"

When is the next update? Like, in the next hour or two?

SushiJaguar, on 17 February 2011 - 09:03 PM, said:

I'm talking about what Redjack quoted.

I know you were. And it's shorter than any of the chapters thus far.

Very nice, Meowth. I c wat u did thar. The chapter was great as always, and this is the first story I've read in my life that has made me consult a dictionary to find the meaning of a word. Bonus points for that, mate. As for the chapter itself, it was very, very good. It's always nice to see MikexLucy, but instead of being twisted out of shape, you managed to bring it around and make it seem almost as if I were reading an outline for the comic itself. It was a good idea to take something as changing as contracting cancer, and apply it to Mike, who is a slightly uninteresting character at the worst of times.

'Course, this chapter still earns the Sushi Stamp of Fag for having such a drippy emotional scene, though I recognize the character development therein. Keep it up, Meowth!

PS; I just remembered, a slight niggle was that I personally think Mike's thoughts might go to Sandy while Lucy was there. Although this is a much more vulnerable scene for them both.

This post has been edited by SushiJaguar: 17 February 2011 - 11:44 PM

Because its not as important as the story. Sorry if I sound retarded or something but I have very weird way of viewing things.

I don't see why hearing the author address issues that readers have found in the story as unimportant. That's like saying DO NOT WANT IMPROVEMENT. Either way, whatever...I'll read 'em so it's all good.

Like I said, my view on things are retarded.

andresm, on 17 February 2011 - 10:56 PM, said:

I must admit, I've always dreamed of having that effect with my writing.

@Lycan
You're probably feeling the chapters are getting shorter because that was the second shortest chapter so far. The next chapter is around the same length, but chapter 10 is MUCH bigger.
Oh, and I'll edit my previous post to state that Chapter 9 is on Saturday. My bad, forgot to do it that time around.

@Sushi
Thank you for pointing that out to me, but bear in mind that there wasn't as much sexual tension there as people may have thought. So while Mike may think about Sandy, he was really just looking for emotional support, so he didn't exactly feel guilty over the interaction. I'm glad you brought it up though, because there may be some editing I need to do to some of the later chapters to help balance Mike's mind with his thoughts regarding Sandy.

Thank you all for the compliments, they are all much appreciated.

I didn't quite mean it in regards to sexual tension, I just thought Mike might be drawing comparisons, you know what I mean? Of course, he's got that blind devotion to her too, so she'd crop up in his mind soon, I'd say. However, that's just my opinion, and your story is more than awe-inspiring enough to stand up without it.

Well, I'm probably feeling they are shorter because I want more them as well! You made that happen!

And whatever the transition this comic brings to the comic, please keep it as slow and steady as have been happening in the previous chapters. Take your time, don't worry about us whiners wanting more, and do it with your already proven quality =D

Well, anyways...
SATURDAYSATURDAYSATURDAYSATURDAYSATURDAY

This post has been edited by Lycan: 18 February 2011 - 03:56 AM

It is very sweet and I do enjoy it ;__;

Point further proven this is still more exciting. Your writing style is incredible and your storyline is both dramatic and interesting. I think you deserve the nobel prize for writing jk jk. But seriously I really like this fanfic.

Haha, knew the name would be something like that

Amazing as always, I'd love to see where it goes from here. Keep it up!

I'm not really sure what did it, but this chapter didn't quite grip me like the others did. I think it's the fact that the conversation seemed a little bland and didn't carry the same weight as everything else up until this point.

This kind of story is really difficult, because it can be incredably hard to keep emotions running high from chapter to chapter, but so far you've done fantastically. This is merely a stumble, and I'm sure you'll manage to get back to tugging on my heart strings, if not in the next chapter (another short one) but most likely the longer one after it.

He guess what its saturday .....

No shit, Sherlock. You can't rush art

Chapter 9, Good Morning, Sunshine has just been added.

Another somewhat short, and somewhat corny chapter. I did make an attempt to include some comic relief (no pun intended), but humor is one of those things that one person may enjoy, while another doesn't. So, I suppose we'll see.

I assure you the next chapter is long, and filled with drama.

EDIT: Almost forgot, the next Chapter will be uploaded on Tuesday.

Quote

Nonsense, I will do everything in my power to fix every potential issue in the story. No matter how minor. Thank you for pointing it out. Sandy plays a critical role in the mind of Mike, so I definitely can not afford to exclude her from his thoughts.

@Lycan, Taeshi, RedJack, Sammy
Thank you all very much for the compliments. They are much appreciated. Comments like this serve as the kindle for the fire that motivates me to write.

@Maverik
I will admit it was a touch boring. I know for a fact the beginning of this chapter was pretty boring to write since it's sort of awkward and there isn't much happening. Not to mention Mike's mood doesn't exactly warrant very much drama, but I assure you there is much more pain and heartbreak to come.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 19 February 2011 - 08:18 PM