Bittersweet Candy Bowl Forums

Ally 5

Oh, I never posted this, but I finished reading Friends Forever. You're surprisingly good, like seriously amazing and I'm glad I got to reading it.Your style's familiar but nice to read, much like actual books. Now, the deus ex machina was really off putting and just.. Disppointing. But it was a fun ride, and I can see why you did it.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story and thank you for the kind words! And I can assure you I didn't intend for the ending to come off that way!

Really, a big part of that story and the way I write is to make it seem more like I'm documenting what happened, as opposed to creating a story. I wanted the ending to sorta just happen, like real life. I apologize if the effect wasn't completed for you, though! I was worried that if he died it would seem hackneyed and dry; and more importantly, I wouldn't be able to convey the messages I wished to.

But, I must admit that yes, the ending was a bit drab. At least on the surface. I think a lot of issues arose with this story over the fact I aimed for something more substantial than light reading, but attempted to maintain a sense of entertainment and captivity like all stories should have. The ending leaned more toward my attempted substance, as opposed to light reading. In other words, there was more meaning then entertainment in the ending.

Theme One: Life

This post has been edited by Meowth: 08 June 2012 - 10:34 PM

Theme Two: Youth

Theme Three: Content

Theme Four: Change

Max and Boston

This is a story about a trainer and his Pokemon. It exposes the predictable and flawed nature of humans through Max and Boston's unique relationship, and shows just how unkind a Pokemon world can be.

It takes place in a much more dangerous world than the series or games.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 23 June 2012 - 09:24 PM

Chapter Two of Max and Boston

This post has been edited by Meowth: 30 June 2012 - 02:44 AM

Sometimes.

Shitty DA short story. Don't bother reading this. It is trivial and depressing.

Autumn Leaves

This is the first chapter of a story that my friend Myst requested. Two of the female cast get raped.

Commission by Purin: Predicting the Future.

My predication of what will happen after the volume two preview chapter. Oneshot, paid commission.

Meowth, on 22 August 2012 - 09:31 PM, said:

Well, that escalated quickly.
(GOD, WHY DO I FIND SEX SCENES SO UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY AHJDGSFDGSHJGFDNHJKH I HAVE THE WORST SENSE OF HUMOR)

don't fight it

oh BABY

Oh Meowth, you never cease to surprise me. I would have never guessed this to be canon, which is pretty much how it goes with bcb anyways.

Nice work bro.

Taeshi, on 23 August 2012 - 12:54 PM, said:

Thanks, that's what I was going for!

Purin, on 23 August 2012 - 08:37 PM, said:

Glad you enjoyed it. I was a little worried it was a bit odd, but my predictions for the comic have always been odd too.

Note to Self.

I was bored and felt compelled to write this.

If the note is from the future, the decision to heed the warning of the note has already been made by you. So it's not about making a choice; it's about learning why you made the choice that has already been made.

Other theories including your future you trolling yourself.

Purin, on 26 August 2012 - 08:01 PM, said:

Possibly!

Okay, just read Living for Today(that's the detective one, right?) And I gotta say, holy shit. That was not what I was expecting atall. I mean, woah. Brilliant. I want to read more like that! The dialogue, tone was great, and the drug thing wasn, although unrelatable for me, really interesting, especially how you told it and just in general agdjajd

I also read once in a Blue Moon. That was interesting. Although narrator's such a creeper. =P I enjoyed the detective one more, but it was well written and well paced. Kudos!

Sewer Man
Don't be a sewer man.

@RC

I'm glad you enjoyed Living For Today! I went back and reread it, not really remembering what it was about. It is certainly a different story, and honestly, I'm not sure what was going through my head when I wrote it!

Also, yes, Once in a Blue Moon was a bit odd. Then again, that is to be expected, since, you know, fetish.

Thunderstruck
MikeXHaley.

I offer to take one request in the IRC, and of course Suitcase is conveniently waiting in the wings -- maybe a little too conveniently?

Long story short this was the result.

I found this interesting. (Sorry I only read your fetishy cat porn.)

I think you're evolving as a writer! A bit. I think you tried some stuff here that kinda paid off, or would be able to pay off with better editing. A few "I see what you did there" moments. There's actually a lot to talk about. More than with the Lucy x Jordan one that I didn't have much to say on.

I don't think you wrote very well for either character. I can understand for Haley - a lot of what I know about her as a character is only through talking to Veronica, but I thought Mike's behaviour was pretty strange. I don't think he'd be the type to autistically lunge at Haley the way he did, and I think there was a lot of lost opportunity when it came to his internal dialogue. He's kind of cute in the way he thinks about things.

I don't mind the idea that Haley is all sad about her ugly body etc, it's an interesting spin on a largely unknown character, but I didn't really buy it. How much is typical, how much is truly low-self-esteem-scary? What was she afraid of, did she hate her toes or her genitals or what? I didn't really understand and the vagueness felt like an attempt to avoid fleshing out this version of the character in an area that was intensely interesting to me.

The foot fetish stuff bores me, but I don't know if the way you wrote that is really hot to people with that fetish. Were you just coming up with it on the fly, or have you read a lot of foot fetish stories?

I didn't find it very erotic otherwise, even though the long t-shirt thing is supposed to do a lot for me. I think it's because of certain words and phrases -- fishy?? -- that throw me off almost completely, but also because of a lack of, I don't know. I think you can either be sensually eloquent or utterly realistic, and you didn't hit either of those points. I think in stories like these - not just incest, but young couples generally - there's a lot of erotic potential to be found in the shaky uncertain awkwardness of it all, and that just wasn't there for me when I read this. I can see so much potential for it, especially with tsundere Haley, though, so my imagination was firing away even as I found the path being taken a little bit dismal.

Oh, and the ending sucked. It wasn't clever or funny enough to end so abruptly. You really should have unwound it further - it would have been interesting to see how you can help that relationship actually pan out, but you didn't attempt it.

Overall I enjoyed it.

@Taeshi

Ha ha, yes. As I said on the IRC, if I do ever happen to write another foot fetish story (who knows?) or anything where mouth-to-foot sensitivity would be relevant, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the advice!

@Suitcase

I appreciate you taking the time to write this critique. I haven't gotten any in a very long time, and they are the best way for me to improve. I also appreciate you giving me an honest opinion, despite the fact it was a request. Most people aren't willing to do that, because they always feel guilty telling me they don't like something I wrote for free. Getting people to speak candidly can be impossible when it comes to this stuff.

And yeah, I pretty much agree with everything you said. I don't really know why I wrote it the way I did. Looking back, the story is pretty awful, and I tried to make it more than it is -- which is where I believe I went wrong. I really don't know what my intention was, nor can I remember what was going through my head the several days I wrote it.

I don't feel very proud of this story, and I honestly feel like I could have done better. I just wish I could remember why I did it like this. Maybe I'll revisit the prompt and try for something a little... less deranged. If I do, I'll let you know.

I noticed you asked about the foot fetish aspect as well... No, I've never read anything relating to foot fetishes before. This is actually the first thing I've written about them too! I was just winging it, really.

@Everybody
Oh, and by the way, just so no one is mistaken, I DO NOT FIND THE SMELL OF FISHY VAGINAS OR BURNING PLASTIC ATTRACTIVE. Just wanted to get that out there.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 05 September 2012 - 09:39 AM

Why would you assume you can satisfy foot fetishists without knowing how that fetish works?

I didn't assume that. I don't even know any foot fetishists to try and satisfy.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 05 September 2012 - 11:18 PM

Jessica

This story made me $10. It is omorashi related and sucks. It technically managed to win a writing competition, but I happened to be the only person who entered. I would like to restate that it sucks and that I'm only putting it here for the sake of keeping this thread mostly relevant (and I guess for people who are into this shit like me??). Anyway, don't bother reading it.

I plan on posting something that will HOPEFULLY be far less shitty (and BCB related). But I guess we'll see.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 09 September 2012 - 07:47 AM

The Bird and The Baby [nsfw]
Two requests combined into one story. "Amaya" and "Murder." (Radial and DLancer, respectively).

Finally finished. I would like to thank Suitcase for glancing over it and making sure there were no obvious errors. He also took a bit of time to tamper with a few particularly problematic sentences, making them entirely more understandable. I appreciate it!

I would like to apologize to Taeshi for not using her idea I came into the IRC and was trying to get some suggestions, and she gave me a great one involving robbery that I had actually planned on implementing, but toward the end I realized it wasn't going to work, given how I had developed everything, and I had to replace it with something far more dismal. I really do appreciate it, though! Both her and Radial discussing and suggesting things helped me actually find the inspiration for what to write. So, it was still immensely helpful!

Please enjoy this mostly shitty story!

^ It was great. At least I liked it.

ZoeStellan, on 13 September 2012 - 11:16 AM, said:

The feedback is much appreciated!

New title is extremely true.

This post has been edited by KiraDood5: 18 September 2012 - 12:19 AM

Ha, yeah. I've decided I'm going to start updating the title based on my most recent upload. Since my last update was a few days ago, I decided to set it to "Meowth's Furry Porn" in the mean time.

I didn't even know that titles could be updated

And Foot Fetishes. Don't forget the foot fetishes!

@Cavara

Yes, when you edit a post, just click "Full Editor" next to the post button and it gives you the option.

@DLancer

Of course. Furry Foot Fetish Porn. But isn't that implied with me?

Quote

im·mac·u·late/iˈmakyəlit/
Adjective:
(esp. of a person or their clothes) Perfectly clean, neat, or tidy.
Free from flaws or mistakes; perfect.


Come on, now, Meowth. X D You know better than that!

It's pretty fun read, but I don't like it as much as some of your other stories. I'm also assuming this Jessica's not her-->

Also I really want to draw her in panties. You made her sound smokin' <3

RC!, on 19 September 2012 - 01:02 AM, said:

Oh wow. I really thought immaculate could be used to describe size... Could have sworn I'd heard it in that context, but the person who used it must have been mistaken.

And yeah, I felt similarly to this story. I mean, it wasn't complete garbage or anything, but I could have done better, and in retrospect, it annoys me that I didn't. Swing and a miss, I suppose!

And by all means! I'd love to see it. Though, I have to confess her likeness was actually based on a girl I know (you have to get this shit from somewhere, you know?). Asked her out toward the end of high school and she shot me down

Oh well, I was too much of a black beast for a little Christian girl like her anyway.

Meowth, on 19 September 2012 - 06:35 AM, said:

Me and my buddies on Skype have this inside joke whenever we play Counter-Strike, if we see someone using the AWP, we always spam in the text chat "AWP IS IMMACULATE".
Yeah, it's kinda obvious what "immaculate" means.

Night Walking Terror

Amaya gets raped.

This was done in an art trade with ZoeStellan. I received this.

EDIT: Please excuse any errors. I couldn't find a proofreader.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 10 October 2012 - 04:06 AM

get's

fuck

So this is why she eats Chris, huh.

real thanks

what?

Meowth, on 10 October 2012 - 11:45 PM, said:

I don't know, I'm honestly just bored as hell because there isn't a lot to do when you've got bronchitis.

this isnt ok

This story broke my soul.
Now I know why I don't read your stories very often, Meowth. So much hate and hopelessness

Voices.

A pointless story I almost didn't put here. Another story I wouldn't bother with.

Get It By Your Hands

Part of this was a commission by Chris, but a great deal of it was done as a birthday gift. Happy birthday, man!

SueXAmaya porn. Have fun.

Oh! And a thank you to Bellboy for proofreading. And a BIIIIIIG thank you to Suitcase for helping me so much with the editing and critiquing. The story is 100x times better because of his input.

This post has been edited by Meowth: 20 November 2012 - 04:02 AM