Bittersweet Candy Bowl Forums

Sofa_King you're quite hostile for criticizing us for not having a welcoming atmosphere

With this forum I do have a problem, but I don't know if I'm at fault or if someone else is. The reason I don't post that much anymore (if I did in excess at all) is that fact that I guess I'm afraid that I'll say something wrong.

I've seen many people on this forum say things that may not be completely accurate, or their opinion is just a little bit off, and they get plastered and attacked for it mercilessly until they inevitably stop posting or at least reduce their post count to a minimum - I believe you know who I'm talking about so I don't really feel the need to clarify. - Many people have been bullied off this site for that reason as well and it just lead me to think that the people here are nasty and unpleasant at first impression (though I know this is not the case, first timers may not.) I'm not saying you all should smile all the time and be little bottles of pure sunshine, but some feelings of kindness would be appreciated.

I guess I always feel like whenever I go on this forum I need to put on a strong front, like I need to place on a bullet proof vest or acquire a thicker skin instead of just being myself, posting about drama cats, and enjoying peoples company. It's like work, and that's not really what I want to do on a site like this. I want to talk and socialize, but I feel intimidated too and that factor in the end keeps me from speaking out.

(and quite unpleasant in general while looking through your posts)

and I think you have no credibility for that.

The "One person’s clever joke is another person’s offensive insult" deal is mostly a non-issue and that environment is the most important factor here.

From what I'm reading, I'm going to guess at what happened:

There was a big growth a few years ago in the community when the forums were open, and the whole thing had a 'Wild West' feeling where people just posted at will about anything. Some time later, the people in charge got angry about there being too much spam/BS on the forums and decided to clean it up.

I guess the best thing to ask is why this was done? I'm assuming it's because you wanted a cleaner, more inviting forum where intelligent topics could be discussed.

This is fine, if you devote yourselves fully to that goal, but there are little things I notice as a forum lurker that get in the way of that.

First of all, there's a lack of moderation against personal attacks or insults. If you want an inviting atmosphere where visitors can post without being afraid of getting run out, you should probably focus on weeding out posts that are simply personal attacks against other posters. That's a good start.

Also, as a visitor, some of the 'red member titles' were quite uninviting when I first started browsing through the forums. Titles that include stuff like "teabagging furfag" and "Stupid protesters should have just kept their dumb asses home. Stupid fuckers" didn't really appeal to me as promoting a nice, warm atmosphere for new people to join in. I'm sure some of these things are inside jokes, but how would a first-time visitor know they were? It's important to consider things from a perspective of "If I were a complete newbie, what would I think if X?"

I guess I always want to attract people with an easygoing personality and a solid sense of humour but that really does seem too much to ask

The IRC has been pretty slow in recent times so I find people being intimidated over it kind of dated and silly.

but Amaya is a mute

Where there's a will, there's a way.