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- 04-July 12
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- Aug 15 2012 10:08 PM
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15 August 2012 - 06:00 PMIt's so beautiful I'm literally, actually, honestly crying.
13 August 2012 - 02:37 PM
12 August 2012 - 01:53 PMAccording to MS word, this only peaks at around 800 words, which just feels way too short and rushed to gain the reader's interest. If you're a beginner, I suggest at least aiming for a goal of at least 1500-2000.
Word goals are pointless. Aim to produce a good story instead.
Sensory details are a MUST. Don't just tell us what Mike does. Tell us what he sees, hears, feels, tastes even. Details like that are what truly immerses the reader in the story, and what will ultimately decide the quality of a story.
Disagree. I don't care if I'm not told what a character tastes. Not every story has an omniscient narrator. Not every detail needs to be told. Immersion comes from the whole, not from a page-long description of a character's sensory hallucinations.
(In fact, I'd suggest refraining from the use of an omniscient narrator anyway. It's, in my personal opinion, nicer to read a story in which people's thoughts, experiences and feelings are hinted at through their actions. If thoughts need to be vocalised, the narrator could guess or deduce or it could happen via dialogue.)
11 August 2012 - 10:38 PMI wouldn't say great. The eye positioning on the first drawing is horrifying. I can't even notice any other issues because I just keep staring at that one.
The second one isn't... terrible. Frankly, it's kinda good.
And I really just have no idea of what's goin on in the third one. Why is the world a cube? why is its MOON a cube?
10 August 2012 - 12:11 PMBoth are fantastic as always; however, the gun-needle thing looks a bit flat. I suggest silicone.
M'friend, it is not a gun-needle-thing. It is the Ubersaw. That is a flat blade with a needle in the middle.
The actual issue with it seems to be that the blade is a bit bent to the right