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- January 4, 2000
- Homestuck, Doctor Who, Parakeets.
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Topics I've Started
10 March 2013 - 06:24 PMvery, very nice
mike's neck is so beautiful we should worship it this thread is dedicated to mike's neck
(am i banned yet)
06 July 2012 - 06:00 PMIt was a bright sunny morning and every little kitten, cat, dog and puppy were wide awake. It was Christmas, and every little boy and girl were savagely tearing up their presents that Catty Claws left for them. All the kittens danced in their catnip, and all the pups frolicked in their cat bones. And one mighty turtle was deviously planning.
Our story begins in the dark basement of an old creeky house, a turtle at his work desk. "Jerk Cat, come quick and see my new invention!" Said the turtle. Stumbling down the stairs came a drowsy, dark cat. His shirt read, "I am a jerk". The turtle bestowed his new invention to the cat.
"You see, I put this on my head, and when a sucker is about to walk past me, I simply..." The turtle place his tiny foot on a button, and out sprung from a little hate a stick, tripping the still approaching cat. After wheezing a little, the cat sat back up and said, "Great... But, my Dark Lord, when do we begin the invasion?"
"Soon, young cat," replied the turtle, supposively 'Dark Lord'. "We first need a well known cat. Who'd you give that candy corn last Halloween?" "A young cat they called 'Mike'. He seemed to have alot of friends." "Brilliant, you have done well, young cat. We will begin the hypnotic after Christmas, and we will be officially ruling the world on the New Year!" The Jerk Cat smiled. "A perfect way to ring in a new era, Dark Lord." Dark Lord nodded in agreement. "Indeed."
In a house, not to far away from the satanic turtle was a beautiful, teenage cat. Unlike her siblings, who were sipping cocoa and eating ham with all of their family, she laid in her bed, refusing to get up. Horrible images of previous days was sending her into a spiraling case of depression. "He hates me... My whole life a lie," she thought, over and over. "My whole life... All my friends... Nothing but a lie." She laid on her good ear, deaf ear facing up to have an excuse of not hearing her calling brothers and family. After a while, she supposed she should at least try to get up. "Stupid Mike," she angrily said. "I don't care about what he has to say anyways. Because he is just a big dumb cat that is probably eloping with Paulo." She sat up and sloppily tied her pink bow around her neck. She frowned. "Lucky Paulo."
This cat, Lucy, no longer knew what to do with her life, her depression so severe.
"Pssst..." said a voice. Lucy jumped. "Who's here?" She whispered angrily. "Is there someone lurkin' about?" She looked around, though it was hard to see because of the shut curtains and light turned off. "Get out here before I go all white cat on your little ass." Lucy scowled. "I mean it." "Don't be afraid Lucy..." Said the voice. Lucy jumped again as she felt a circular foot on her hand. "I'm just Turtle." She looked down at Dark Lord. "I know you... You go around tripping everybody." "Yes, I do Lucy, now I have this offer to purpose to you..."
Lucy blinked at the turtle. "What?"
Dark Lord cleared his throat. "Soon the world will be in my clutches, and everyone will be tripping and breaking their faces. But your face is so divine, and because of it I ask for your hand in marriage." "I'm not marrying some stupid turtle." Dark Lord popped some candy corn into the squriming cat's mouth. "Actually, you are." Lucy nodded. "I. Am..."
Lucy's ear twitched as she heard something behind her. Paulo bringing her cake.
TO BE CONTINUED?!