Bittersweet Candy Bowl Forums

Now, now, just telling you about myself is no fun at all, not to mention I don't trust myself to summarize myself effectively. Look at my posts, I'm sure you can figure out a fair amount about me if you try. If you really have a burning need to know something about me, you can always just ask; the worst that could happen is I'll refuse to answer.

Oh, well, I suppose I should mention that I sometimes forget that my jokes can at times be far less than obvious, so if you think I've insulted you it might just be a miscommunication. I promise not to be deliberately offensive unless you're being extremely stupid in a really annoying way.

Just to be sure, I'm going to reiterate: I make jokes sometimes. I may make them without warning. I know some of you are going to give me trouble because you can't tell that I'm not being serious when I say stuff that is really stupid, or sociopathic, or something like that, and I don't care. Consider yourself warned.

I suspect that the way I joke can be irritating, and the same goes for how I love to argue with idiots who can't be reformed and my difficulty in spotting jokes at times (it's good I don't have to talk to myself). If you would like to criticize me on other fronts, I would like it if you would provide one or more examples to back up your point.

One day, I shall probably go to someone's profile and demand that said person say something stupid. Know that if I do this to you, it means I'm bored and want someone to argue with and feel superior to. Know that it means I think I'm smarter than you. And know that on that day, I am wrong. Under such circumstances, do not hold back on mocking me in my pathetic state. Negative reinforcement is good for me. And finally, know that this is probably a self-preventing prophecy, as it was meant to be.

In case you were wondering, yes I do think rambling is a reasonably good way to describe myself, such as that is possible.

I am not schizophrenic. I may attempt to convince you otherwise. It doesn't really matter if you play along or not.

I am a creepy creeper. A reputable source told me so. Don't try to deny it.

Apparently I have grown comfortable around you all. You can tell by the fact that I frequently make posts wherein I babble completely incomprehensible nonsense. Well, I know what I mean, but that doesn't really aid in communication.

Don't you love long words like "deontological"? I would so hate to miss an opportunity to use such a word. And by the way, good luck ascribing meaning to my fluctuating vocabulary if you are so inclined to attempt to do so; I write the words that come to mind, and generally have little to no ability to understand what guides most changes in idiom. Except for how I sometimes consciously adopt the speech patterns of a group to the best of my ability because I am talking about them or about a topic with a strong relationship to that group; the reason in those cases is of course obvious to me. For those of you who read Goblins, I assure you that you are not seeing me suffer from an exponentially redundant vocabulary under stress.

I can't believe how easily I was convinced to change my avatar.

How much do you want to bet that somebody's going to take me seriously when I said that friendship is evil witchcraft and must be destroyed in the name of Jesus when I have established many times that I am Jewish, I am atheist, and my avatar is a pony? Because I really have a feeling it'll happen.

Do normal people ever get the feeling that they're not getting as much use out of their right to be offensive to groups they belong to with impunity as they should be? Or is that just me?

Do I seriously believe it is my duty to find all the anti-Semitic comments in topics that interest me and say "I'm offended"? Because that is a pretty lame mission. I could at least put some emotion into it, except I am fully aware that people are doing it specifically to be offensive, so putting some emotion into it would be entirely the wrong response.

You know how some people, when they list possible sexual orientations, include "questioning"? Well, sometimes I think that I would be questioning if I weren't too apathetic to ask. Make of that what you will; I am honestly not sure how much one could reasonably infer, and how well that corresponds to the truth.

I do sometimes wonder if it's possible to figure out who I am from what you all know about me. It's a distinct possibility that I have actually given enough information to uniquely specify myself, but I doubt anybody has the resources (or cares enough) to do all the necessary research to find me. I certainly hope so, in any case, because if you knew my name here and my real name, you would be able to find quite a bit of information about me. There is only one person in the world who is authorized to know that much about me. You are not that person.

If, on the other hand, you know me in real life, and happened to stumble upon this, you probably recognize it to be me, in which case I would just ask that you pretend not to judge me for my compulsive reading. Particularly since you probably don't know the half of it.

I wonder sometimes, how much do most people trust themselves? Because I catch myself lying on a regular basis. It's actually kind of comforting; if everything I thought started looking like the truth I would probably worry that I had lost the ability to distinguish the trustworthy parts of my mind. But it cannot be normal to go through life cheerfully sure that most of what I know about myself is wrong.

SEMICOLONS GRARG ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
(careful; nobody knows if semicolonitis is contagious)

Yo dawg I herd you like introspection so we put a self-reference in your self reference so you can introspect while you introspect.
I really hope nobody has the patience to read this far.
Also, you dawg I herd you like recursion so we put a meme in your meme so you can meme while you meme while you meme while you meme while you meme while you overflow the stack.
That was even dumber. Apparently I haven't mentioned my frequent inability to care enough to filter out the really dumb impulses about how to say things. Now you know. Congratulations.

Now if only the things that came to mind could all be more like "There is only one person in the world who is authorized to know that much about me. You are not that person." Not the best line in the world, but still not bad I think. Certainly it would make a fine minimum.

Taeshi is trolling me. I am entirely serious. That is the only explanation. I know she's not stupid enough to completely miss what I'm saying twice in a row. She knows my weakness, and she is doing this on purpose.

All right. I can' take this any more. I can't stand continually dancing around the subject to keep my secret from you all, so I'm going to confess it here, where nobody will read it. Yes I'm smart. This is a provable fact. I don't know if there's a correlation between my intelligence and how my way of talking triggers so many people's anti-intellectual sentiments, but there it is. Now you don't actually know, because nobody cares.

Something tells me that this is necessary to a proper break. I don't know why, it just is. As always, feel free to inquires as to whats and wherefores, the worst that'll happen is not getting an answer.

Goodbye.