Bittersweet Candy Bowl

18. Farewell, Middle School, original chapter posted 8/9/06

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Transcript

*The Sex-ed teacher glares at her students.*
Sex-ed teacher: …

Sex-ed teacher: Sex.

Sex-ed teacher: It’s even worse in high school. Don’t do it.
*She continues to glare as her students sweat.*

*Mike and Lucy move on to their next class.*
Mike: That was educational.
*Lucy looks down at an excited Yashy, still covered in chocolate.*
Yashy: No glove, no love!

[Caption: Next up]
*The pug teacher looks slightly annoyed.*
Pug teacher: I won’t miss you kids. At all.

Pug teacher: In fact, I hope the high school teachers beat you, because we’re not allowed to.
*His students sweat.*
Pug teacher: Now leave.

*Mike and Lucy make their way to their next class, looking irritated.*
Mike: I’m surprised we’re not psychologically scarred.
Lucy: Tough but fair.
*They ignore Yashy as she becomes submerged in the chocolate river.*
Yashy: blub blub

*The cat teacher angrily addresses the students.*
Cat teacher: You’re waiting for a farewell speech? Do I even know you kids?

*The janitor sloshes their mop in a bucket.*
Janitor: HI I AM JANITOR I CLEAN STUFF

*Mike puts his hand to his face, walking past the janitor with Lucy.*
Mike: Ughh.
*The janitor sticks his tongue out.*
Janitor: STAY IN SCHOOL LOL

*Mike lifts his cane up in annoyance.*
Mike: I WANNA GO HOME!!
Lucy: Soon.

Lucy: Sooo.. Honors English, then! Ever the smart one..
*Lucy closes her eyes and smiles.*
Lucy: Eh, Maishul?
*Michael freezes up, blushing.*

*Mike looks at Lucy, distressed.*
Mike: D-don’t be like that..
*Lucy continues to smile as she walks away.*
Lucy: Sounds like you can tutor us all, now.

*Mike frowns and looks away with a wistful look.*
Mike: Lucy..

*Yashy, now completely covered in ice cream, glares up at Mike.*
Yashy: Flea. I thought I told you to quit it.
*Mike stops in shock.*

*Mike yells at Yashy.*
Mike: I wasn’t angsting about anything!
*The janitor pops up in the background.*
Janitor: Angst?

Janitor: Let me clean it!
*The janitor whacks Mike with his mop.*

Janitor: ..
*The janitor watches with a pout as Mike falls into the ice cream river and starts to drown.*
*Yashy, rising from the pool of ice cream, lifts her arms up in celebration.*
Yashy: Success!

Author commentary

Veronica: I’m really going to miss the sex ed and gym teachers. Also notice how Yashy is gradually getting covered in chocolate. She had some on her face the panel before, but she is getting more and more now. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

Oliver: Somehow I think you’ll see this janitor again.

Reader comments

Comment ID #76474

I wasn’t aware that janitors possessed the ability to cleanse teenagers of angst.
I must take note of this for future reference.

A Nobody August 16, 2010, 6:54 AM EDT.

Comment ID #149440

Aww… I’m going to miss the Health Teacher.

Emeraldfox February 25, 2011, 2:29 AM EST.

Comment ID #184993

Hopefully with enough humiliation from Yashy, Mike will stop angsting before the end of the chapter . Also, something bugs me. The teacher says “Sex. worse in high school.” Is that implying there was sex happening in middle school? Look at them! They’re so tiny! I am slightly disturbed.
Janitor makes it all better.