Bittersweet Candy Bowl

4. Unfit for Education, original chapter posted 5/12/06

Page 2 of 4

Transcript

*Yashy continues to sulk.*
Yashy: Seriously, one more word outta him and I’ll..
*Lucy starts to sweat.*
Lucy: Ack..

*The teacher enters the room.*
Poodle teacher: Okay, class! Sit down, it’s time to begin!

Poodle teacher: Today we’re preparing our projects for the science fair!
*Yashy raises her hand.*

*Yashy waves her hand frantically.*
Poodle teacher: Those who have finished can listen to each other’s presentations.

*Yashy turns away from the teacher and begins to dig through Lucy’s desk.*
Poodle teacher: So are there any quest--

*Yashy tosses an eraser at the teacher’s head.*

Poodle teacher: Lucy?! What is the meaning of this?!
Lucy: Huh?!

Lucy: Wait, it wasn’t--
*Yashy puts a hand on Lucy’s shoulder.*
Yashy: I can defend myself!

[An arrow, pointed at Lucy: mortified]
*Yashy raises her hand again.*
Yashy: I got a question, teach!

*Lucy lays her head on her desk, weeping.*
Poodle teacher: You didn’t need to throw anything at me.
Yashy: I raised my hand!

Poodle teacher: Right. So what is your question, Yashy?
Yashy: Well..

Yashy: Are there any cool preschool programs for me?

Poodle teacher: …

Poodle teacher: That has nothing to do with the science fair.

Poodle teacher: ’Sides, you’re just a pet.
*Yashy looks utterly shocked.*
Yashy: WHAT!!

*Yashy hops down from Lucy’s desk and begins to walk away.*
Yashy: So I’m merely a doll? A toy? A decoration? Fine.
Lucy: Shut up..

*Yashy folds her arms, standing beside the class pet.*
Yashy: I’ll sit with MY kind, then.

Yashy: We’ll show ’em one day, Hamtaro.
*The hamster speaks up.*
Hamster: We’re not too big an’ we’re not too tough, but if we work together we got the right stuff!

Author commentary

Veronica: THIS IS SEWIOUS.

Though, yeah, probably not worth thinking too much about the morality of holding a conscious hamster in a cage and keeping the four-year-old lizard-blob out of school.

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Reader comments

Comment ID #50900

OMG, Freakin’ Hamtaro!
My friend got a plush Hamtaro at the Sakura Con..
It’s soo cute… Yet soo stalker-ish.
So we called it “Hamtorso”.

Ian June 28, 2010, 2:03 PM EDT.

Comment ID #77676

Oh geeze, are you kidding? Wonder Pets…? You can’t be sewious.

Sewius*

Serious*

Living with a 2 year old, I already know most of the catch phrases from Dora, Ni-hao Kai-Lan, Blue’s Clue’s, and Wonder Pets… I come here to get AWAY from that stuff! Now those are going to be running in my head all night!